don't you DARE take the name of texas in vain

i’m turner! i'm a 32 y/o white gay cis male, so he/him! native texan, current minnesotan. happily married and polyamorous. ask for my ig, twitter, or snapchat! i spend most of my time on twitter or playing ffxiv (midgardsormr server, IGN: turner coddlefish, ranged main). icon by hawlucha!!

[coddlefish]

our first photo together and our last photo together, with 4,072 days between.

thank you for everything, carter. i will love you for the rest of my days.

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[smadsel]

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

[smadsel]

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

[manuciruja]

hey staff what the fuck

[villainessbian]

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose

[shrodingers-catgirl]

HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

[creamycuppy]

oh, okay. i didn’t realize it had a name. “nursing handjob.” interesting

other tekken commentator trying to talk over me: Well, looks like he’s not able to whiff punish those keepout electrics,

[creamycuppy]

one of the players onstage responding

[dogpuppy]

I wish I could have heard you sing this… I bet you have a beautiful voice

[iftadwascool]

[wouldyoueatthisfood]

Would you eat this?

I would eat this

I would not eat this

I have eaten this (positive)

I have eaten this (negative)

Remaining time: 5 days 23 hours

Food: Ethiopian injera

Ingredients: teff flour, flour, instant yeast, sea salt, baking soda, water, apple cider vinegar

[kulvefaggoth]

THIS ULTIMATE IS NEXT LEVEL OH MY GOD

source

[ofdarklands]

this is what he says, apparently

[bugwars]

It is imperative that the customer remain unaware that employees drink water, it frightens and scares them to think of an employee as having human needs

[mockva]

Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught

[mexicain-sans-frontiers-v2]

[the-davest-of-uncles]

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

[skoople]

fan edit i made of squidward meal prepping

[log4]

straight people have been allowed to be too comfortable. We need to replace #LoveWins with #GaySex. See who the REAL allies are

[log4]

Based on the notes on this post, I control the entire socio-cultural narrative surrounding LGBT people. I'm honored to have been given this responsibility, but I stand by my previous post and I will not be reconsidering my decision to change "love wins" to "gay sex" everywhere. I understand that this is controversial, but ultimately I think this move is for the best. This has been my decision.

[chortlebot]

remake of this classic

[omegaversereloaded]

You got cum on your face you big disgrace

[basi-boy]

not what he said!!

[omegaversereloaded]

We will we will fuck you

[kushblazer666]

[tahthetrickster]

me: i have a very specific tumblr accent meme im thinking of that surely i should be able to pull up by searching the text in the meme

the most dogshit useless decimated search engine in the entire world:

[tahthetrickster]

i did find it btw but having a COMPUTER address me like it’s a person sent me into such an incandescent rage i nearly pitched my phone clear across the room

[dogpuppy]

[guavagyal]

bro just take my fucking job application without a cover letter. we're literally gonna be in a mega economic collapse, you're not gonna fucking read it anyways. do you really need some fucking fanfic about me working at your business?? what the fuck are we even doing right now??