Artificial Bliss

33|he/him|bi|this shit is a mess and so am I

[slimetony]

in 2017 we’re replacing our cerebrospinal fluid with sierra mist

[c3po]

no idea what this means

[slimetony]

lemon lime spine

[trattenbach]

Happy Battle Against Richard Nixon's Immortal Soul Saturday

[nikoanesti]

Real shit

[prismatic-bell]

So based on the way I just read this out loud, I 100% think it should be released as an audition monologue, and I'm 10000% serious. if I were overseeing auditions for Shakespeare somebody's timing on those "fuck off"s and their ability to pronounce and emphasize "harem of fart sommeliers" would tell me everything I needed to know. This is a work of art fueled by rage, and what's more, it's true.

[urie]

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

[pekingopera]

[paranoidgemsbok]

Stardew valley is problematic because it forces you to have an outside cat in a threatened woodland environment

[what-even-is-thiss]

The threat to the woodland environment being me of course

[whyenn-reader]

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

[wreegis]

there was an incident at work today

[drops-of-universe]

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

[thwrangis]

GOP reportedly contracting scott cawthon to oversee the creation of the pseudointelligent endoskeleton that will be piloting mr. mcconnell for the next few months

[veryluckyclovers]

[filthintheqt]

obsession (2026)

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]

do hazard symbols recreated in warframe count?

[henstomper]

oh my god the slot machine company says i have to keep putting coins in their machine or Im Gonna Get Left Behind. thats so scary. and it has to be true because they know more about slot machines than i do

[godkillerbrigade]

going to the corner store to get more corners

[shadow-banned-the-hedgehog]

[nerdicornthetrekkie]

[gamechangershow]

Sorry but it's not complete without...

[fluffysheeple]

christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from