The Remarkable Courage Of 15 Year Old Tyler Bolivar.
Tyler Bolivar is like any 15 year old out here, he just wants to be himself and feel appreciated and loved by everyone he’s surrounded by. After struggling with coming to terms with his sexuality and feeling safe and comfortable with the way he was born Tyler decided to bravely come out to his friends and family. The reaction the Canadian teen got from his dad was not what he expected. The teen’s dad lashed out on him telling him in a Facebook message that he had cast shame and embarrassment on their family. Tyler posted the messages on his Tumblr and his postings went viral being featured on The Huffington Post and The DailyMail among others. I spoke to Tyler earlier in the week about how he feels about the attention, his brave decision to come out and if he has any advice for other teens struggling as well.
How does it feel to have all the support from everyone in the world right now? Because truth be told you're not alone. Lots of kids fear coming out because of how their parents might re-act and you telling your story and trooping on is really tremendous and important for LGBT youth all over the world.
It feels absolutely amazing getting all this support. Knowing people are there for you and have your back means so much to me and it's also just a friendly reminder that there are infact good people out there that love you and accept you for who you are.
What has your mom and the rest of your families reaction been to your dad's remarks?
The rest on my family are actually super supportive and just treat me like how they treated me before I came out. My mom and two sister don't agree with what my dad said. Even my dad's sister is trying to convince him to take back what he said and she's more religious than him.
How did you become so brave at just 15. Some spend their lives closeted and you are so brave at just 15. Why did you feel like it was the time to come out now instead of years down the road?
I came out because keeping this secret was causing me too many problems. Before I came out I would keep thinking about it constantly. It never left my head, the thought would be there and would never go away. I would always have to monitor the way I act and speak, I even lied many times about having crushes on girls and even dated some. It was even the cause of my suicidal idiation. So I was like you know what? This needs to stop. I don't want to be sad anymore. I don't want to live a lie anymore. And I also met my boyfriend that I love very much and that gave me another reason to come out. I was just longing for that life where I could just be me and I guess that's what really drove me to it.
Have you received any bullying from classmates due to your decision to come out and unapologetically be exactly who you are?
Before I came out I would always be called faggot, or queer because I was terrible at acting straight. mind you I was in elementary school so people were just so very immature. But now everything is fine. No one has a problem of me being gay. I have never received any hate at school. Even the kids that use to call me faggot stopped calling me that because the realized that they were being jerks.
How did you find out that your post had went viral? I saw it on the DailyMail which is a UK site and it's honestly only a matter of time before you are on Ellen. You've already been on Seventeen Magazine.
I found out that the post went viral when my older sister texted me that it was on a local radio station and then it spread to Vancity Buzz which is a local media outlet and then it it was on the Huffington Post then bam all of a sudden it's in the states and Europe. I can't believe it has come this far! It just blows my mind.
Finally, Do you have any advice to any teens struggling with coming to terms with their own sexuality and wanting to come out but scared of the outcome?
My message to other teenagers is that you are loved and you are worth it. Your sexuality doesn't define you. It's how you contribute to the world in making it a better place where as my contribution is making sure that everyone is comfortable in their own skin. If you're still in the closet, that is okay. Come out when you're 100% absolutely ready for what comes you're way. I love you okay. There are still going to be people that will love you and that is a fact. To parent’s I would have to say, If your child comes out to you, support them no matter what. Family is family. You need to be there for them. The emotional and psychological damage that your child will bear when you don't support them is horrid. They can't control their sexuality. If they could they would've chosen to be straight to evade the stress and humility that will be put on them by society. And if your gonna pull some religion into play with why you disowned your child; I have been forced to church enough times to understand that you must love your child unconditionally. And you must not judge. If you disown your child you're doing your religion, child and yourself a disservice.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Tyler.
I would just like to say, that I'm not doing this to publicly shame my dad, nor for publicity or profit. I'm simply just doing this because people are like "This is 2015, this isn't an issue." But to be real with you, this still happens a lot. Youth are being neglected and abused over something that shouldn't even matter. And I want to let other teenagers know that they aren't alone. There are so many other people that have gone through or going through the exact same thing. And I want them to know things do get better as cliché as it sounds.
If you yourself are struggling with suicidal thoughts and questions regarding your sexuality you can contact the Trevor Project HERE which is a 24-hour hotline for gay and questioning youth.
