Sometimes, I think I am too much.
I think people expect me be to be fun and I always try to be it, along with being polite, nice and friendly. But sometimes, I am sad, and lost and in need of help. And during these times, I am too much.
Because I can be sad, but I can’t be too much sad over something. People expect me to get over it on the time they think I should. I can be lost, but not too much. People expect me to figure out my life and keep doing my duties. I can feel lonely but not too much, because even if I don’t have someone close where I am, I’m ungrateful because I still have people calling me to go out and drink.
I can be sad, but too much. I can be lost, but not too much. I can be lonely, but not too much. I can be me, but not too much.
And the problem about it is that I never know when it’s going to be too much. Then I start to think I am the problem and that I should keep everything to myself because people simply are not interested on what I feel. But being the problem is too much for me to deal, so I have an anxiety crisis. But my anxiety crisis are too much.
In the end, I wish I was nothing instead of too much.
