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Today, that one person I thought know me the best, has said someone that broke me. I am really really hurt.
How many times have you been called beautiful by a man who eventually made you feel ugly on the inside?
Kiel James Patrick
If you live your life as if everything is about, you will be left with just that. Just you.
I feel this pain and I acknowledge it but I will not let this moment become a lifetime.
Cj
Home.
What is home. Or where?
I often feel like there is no place that would feel like home to me. That maybe because I get bored very quickly of living at one place, I simply belong nowhere. And everywhere.
Tonight, I just...despite how much in the past I said that I do not like the country I am from or how much I want to live somewhere else... I just realized that no matter if I want or not, czech republic and slovakia will always be my home. I still think that it is not a place where I want to spend most of my life at but it is a place where I definitely want to always come back to.
And then I think again. Cause maybe...
It is not the country itself (because tbh the culture and mentality is one of the things I greatly despise by over there). It's the people and memories.
Mom and dad. Grandma and grandpa. My other grandma and grandpa. Brother, friends..
It is mom's gingerbread cake, grandma's tea and pie. It's when grandpa brings fresh apples from his garden. It's the slovakian singer that my mom loves. It's my czech language teacher and her passion for poetry and history. It's my best friend. It's the christmas markets and countryside, it's our holiday house. It's my cozy room and a bed where I cried, was sick and was falling asleep happy or angry multiple times. It's the places I've seen million times. It's dad's cappuccino. It's Tatra mountains, it's going skiing and snowboarding with grandpa. It's the things only we (me and my family) can understand
I guess this is what home really is. Home is the people who made it all happen in this place.
And things change and things will never be the same way they used to be.
And I do feel emotional, happy and sad at the same time, when thinking about good old times and my childhood. Because it was a beautiful one. It was. And I am so grateful for that.
Whether it's love, work, or chasing dreams, we will always find a reason not to. Find a reason to.
Mark Groves
Life is pain....au chocolate.