As soon as we entered the clinic we found ourselves in a rather dull lobby. Perhaps the dentist was very particular about energy conservation, or maybe today was the odd day his possibly English receptionist forgot to turn the secondary lights on. Anyway, it didn't really matter. The room was full of men and women waiting to have their teeth tended to. Ellie looked at me with a long face, she knew it was going to be quite a while until she gets to go back home to play with her Legos.
"How long until our turn, daddy?"
"Don't know, kiddo. Better go grab a book to read."
Ellie got up and walked to the bookshelf situated in the corner of the room. For a good five minutes I watched the girl scout through the clinic's collection. She was biting her lips, just like I did whenever I tried to focus. It's funny how they pick up the littlest quirks from you.
Soon after she chose her winner; I found her walking towards me, with the book in her hand. She had purpose in her eyes, and her auburn hair seemed unreal, thanks to just the right amount of sunshine falling on her little head through the lobby's window.
"Hold this, daddy." She handed me the book and walked towards the receptionist's counter.
"Excuse me miss. Can you please turn on the lights over there?" She asked innocently.
"Yes of course, my dear. Just a second." The receptionist said, as she proceeded to get up and turn the switches as per the little girl's request.
The room lit up.Ellie looked up to the woman and smiled. Her cheeks flush pink whenever she does that. It's a divine thing to witness, really.
Ellie returned and claimed her seat beside me once again. I returned her the book she handed me. 'Where's Waldo' , the cover read.
I watched her drum her fingers against her knee, trying her best to find the ever so secluded Waldo. There was no breaking her attention, for she was determined to find the fellow. The little girl loves a challenge, as you can see.
I wasn't a huge fan of her drumming habitude though. But you see, there were other things about her I needed to worry about. Things I'd completely forgotten about, even if only for an hour or so.
Eventually, we were called for. We went into the exam room. The dentist was old, wore round spectacles and exhibited a huge smile, as always.
"Are you ready to get your filling done, little Ellie?" The old chap welcomed her.
"Y-yes doc." She blinked a few times before she spoke, out of nervousness.
"Well then let's get you ready."
I held her hand as he went on drilling and filling holes in my girl's premolar.Her eyes were closed and her eyebrows were tense. Her hand was soft; it was the kind of hand you hold and not want to let go of. The kind you hold and tell yourself - 'I want to protect this person'. Or maybe it was just my fatherly instinct, I don't know.
All I did know was that this was my daughter, my only child. And I'm her only parent. It's hard playing both mom and dad, but oh is it not ever so rewarding. Her growth has been a lovely thing to witness, and it has changed me in ways which are phenomenal. It has made me do things I never thought I could. And feel things I didn't know I could ever feel. I'd give the world for this kid. She's worth it all.
Eventually, the cavity was filled. And I had to stop admiring my daughter's existence and take her back home.
The kid was eager to play with her Legos, really.
"Thank-h you doctoh". Her mouth was still numb.
"Haha, anytime, little one."
And so we left the dentist's office and got in our car. Little did I know that it would start raining again.I personally never liked it when it rained too much. I'm more of a summer guy. Ellie however, loved the rain. Reminiscent of her mother, Who I'd seen dance in the rain for absolutely no good reason, but because she could, and she wanted to.
Ellie didn't mention anything about the rain . This was unlike her.
"So what you're thinking about, kiddo?"
She usually spoke in great length whenever I asked her that question. This time however, she just glared out the window seat ,sitting as still as any 11 year old ever could.
"Ellie?" I reminded her of my presence, and curiosity.
"When will they start with my chemo again, daddy?"