#losing someone

[blueegrief]

But what about when you lose someone who is still alive? When you lose track of the person you know within a person they've become - what kind of grief is that?

―Catherine Lacey, Pew

[hel7l7]

Should have gone down with you (0925)

[thebittertasteofalmost]

I know this in my heart.

[un-soli-cited]

My best friend, homie, and sanity. You will always be loved Meoilo.

RIP - Milo (2025)

[llostwriter]

Never Meant To Be | SVSSS Fanfic

- Nonbinary Reader

When you found out that you were reincarnated as a wandering orphan, forcing you to steal to survive. You lost count of the times that you would get beaten up upon getting caught by the villagers. The looks of disgust from the villagers upon seeing your raggy clothes and dirty face were imprinted on your small mind. Intelligence was nothing in this world; all that mattered was the ranking of an individual. There were times when you ended up starving on the streets or almost freezing to death.

It wasn't even surprising that, soon enough, the human traffickers found you. The original owner of the body was found by the human traffickers before you were even in the body. The human traffickers make weekly visits to the orphans, demanding that the orphans give them the taels that the orphans gathered from begging on the street. The ones that weren't able to give any received a beating. All the good spots in the areas were taken by the other orphans, while you were left with the crappiest area, which is mostly deserted.

The income was so low that you even decided to leave this village and beg elsewhere. The traffickers caught you again, and you received another beating. Only then did you learn that the orphans are only allowed to beg within the village.

Every week of the first few months, you have received a beating from the traffickers.

The orphans could hardly fend for themselves, so they didn't even bother sharing any of their stuff with you. Resorting to having to even fight them for some ointments. Yes, there would always be some additional bruises after the fight; however, you did get your ointment. You know that your life is miserable the moment you even have to fight a dog for a blanket. Even the white cat from the village council’s madam gives you the disdainful treatment. Hissing at you whenever you look at its pearly white fur.

You were envious of the white cat. It gets better treatment and is cleaner than the combination of you and the other orphans. You remembered watching out of the village council madam’s window, drooling at the lotus cake being fed to the white cat daily, who later licked its paw.

One day, in the village, there was a huge fire that ended up spreading out to the borders of the village. Everybody was evacuating, while you stood confused and helpless. Almost accepting the new path of death, ending this misery of yours. You would have never expected that a cultivator would rescue you. Your memories of his appearances were blurry. The only thing that you have left of him is the ripped-off piece of his light green robe.

Away from the human traffickers, your life was somewhat peaceful. You would be found stuffing your mouth with mysterious berries that you found in the forest. The stomachaches taught you which berries to pick and which berries not to pick. Cleansing the filth off yourself in the rivers.

You find yourself in a new village and hear from the villagers about Cang Qiong accepting new disciples. That would be a good chance to turn your life around.

There was something familiar about that name, but you were not able to find out exactly what it was.

——-

You watched the large crowds of hundreds of people. There were some other orphans, some kids dressed in rich silk robes, and some kids from the casual village household. The task was plain and simple; it was just digging holes. A few of the rich folks were complaining of dirtying their robes: “This is too filthy!”. “I can’t handle this any more!” “I’m telling my mommy and daddy about this!”. “This is so unfair!” “Why am I doing the work of a slave?!” so many complaints.

So they ended up ordering their servants to do it for them, resulting in the rich folks getting disqualified. “Wait until my parents hear about this! They’ll shut this mountain completely down!” but as expected, those complaints were all barks and no bites.

The sun beat down on your back as you hunched over the earth, your long, pointed nails digging into the clay. Untrim nails for months, maybe even years; you were not sure since you only occupied the body a few months ago.

Each thrust of your hand was met with gritty resistance. The earth, dry and stubborn, yielded only grudgingly. Tiny particles of clay, fine as dust, clung to your nails, causing a gritty discomfort that snaked up your arms, sending chills through you. Regardless of your gender, the sensation was maddening, a constant reminder of the tenacity of the very ground you were attempting to conquer.

There were some smart kids who dug platforms stacked upon each other like stairs from the soil. That is to make it easier to get out of the hole.

However, that also wastes a lot of time, and time is precious.

Your brow furrowed, and you bit your lip, the scent of nature mingling with the dust that clung to your clothes. The discomfort was a constant, a nagging reminder of the futility of your task. Yet, you dug on. It was more than just a hole you were creating; it was a statement, one that would completely change the turn of fate.

Each inch dug was a battle—a slow, agonizing victory. The earth, unforgiving and relentless, fought back, the damp clay clinging to your nails like a tenacious parasite. But you pushed on; you drew in grim concentration, your eyes burning with a singular focus.

You knew the pain and discomfort were necessary parts of the process. It was the price you paid for the freedom of creation, for defying the expectations of practicality. The discomfort was a reminder that you were pushing boundaries and challenging the very fabric of reality.

Finally, with a groan, the earth gave way. By the time the ending was announced, the hole, deep and narrow, was complete.

You looked around, and that's when you saw him. You identified him from the crowd by his green robes. The feeling of familiarity and nausea hit you like a wave.

Your survivor, your angel, is the one that’s going to drag you out of this hellhole.

He noticed you; his paper fan spread out, covering half of his face. He narrowed his eyes at you indifferently.

—-

Being a disciple of Qing Jing Peak Lord was not that bad; your life clearly improved. You don't have to fight other orphans or animals for anything. All living expenses were provided for you. You shared your daily tasks with the other disciples. During your free time, you’ll spend time watching your Shizun from afar. Aside from that, the looks of admiration and gratitude were obvious.

The wind carries the rumors.

It has only been a few months since you became a disciple, and you have already heard your share of the rumors surrounding your savior.

The rumors surrounding your savior were outrageous; you would never bring yourself to believe them, even if there were doubts surrounding them.

in the following months. You have always kept a safe distance from your savior. You can’t deny that there were desires of wanting to have physical contact with your savior. It was pure nonetheless, but it still felt wrong. Even after you left behind your past of being an orphan, you still felt filthy and tainted. You were disgusted by yourself. It wasn’t long before you realized that you had romantic feelings for your savior.

But you never have the courage to confess. Your savior was close, yet felt so distant at the same time.

——

A young disciple named Luo Binghe had just arrived, and he was taken in as your Shidi. From the start, he showed himself to be a hardworking and persistent teenager, always displaying politeness towards everyone. However, despite his good nature, your savior began to treat him unfairly, burdening him with an excessive number of tasks compared to the other disciples. This sudden change in attitude was puzzling.

Witnessing Luo Binghe being disciplined unjustly, you found yourself tending to his wounds and gradually forming a close bond with him. Despite the mistreatment, he never blamed Shizun for his hardships. As time went on, the male disciples following your savior joined in on the unfair treatment, directing their animosity towards Luo Binghe by assigning him all the unwanted tasks. Despite this, Luo Binghe continued to fulfill his duties without complaint.

Nonetheless, it pains you to see your savior acting like a monster.

——

You were unsure how it turned out this way. One day, your savior’s personality completely changed. It was almost like they were completely different people. It was also the first time that your ‘savior’ approached you willingly, apart from missions. You were happy about it, but something felt horribly wrong at the same time.

You have always had that feeling since you first became a disciple. It was wrong for a disciple to have romantic feelings for their Shizun.

This was different; it was almost as if this was an imposter living in your savior’s body; their aura was different. The imposter gives out a more outgoing and calm vibe, while your savior gives out a more indifferent and cold vibe. There is no possible way that one person could change in the span of hardly one day.

But how is it possible that somebody would look exactly like your savior? Did your savior have a twin brother? If yes, where is your savior right now? There’s no possible way that your savior would just abandon his disciples and his title without a single word.

The imposter attempted to mend your relationship; however, it didn’t work. The longer that the imposter stayed, the more hatred that you grew for him.

At the same time, you were glad that he’s now nicer to his disciples and Shidi Luo Binghe. But you simply can't get over the fact that the imposter is using your savior’s body without any permission.

Months turned into years, and your hatred toward the imposter grew numb, just like your feelings. There was no use for it anymore. You ended up leaving the peak and becoming a wandering cultivator.

When your Shidi Luo Binghe married the imposter, they invited you, hoping that you would come. Which you did.

As you watched the smiles imprinted on both your Shidi Luo Binghe and the imposter, Only then did you realize that you had officially lost your savior. Forever.

[akshayekhannapaglu]

I Thought So Too..

So NOW you think I'm your bestfriend?

It's funny how once

I thought so too,

I too thought that we were forever,

I too thought that you won't abandon me,

I too thought that my efforts would prove to be worth your friendship,

I thought so too, until you betrayed me.

But look where we are now,

Look what you did

To the beautifully blossoming flower,

You cut it abruptly,

With the roughness of a stranger

But with the suprising calmness of an experienced gardener.

Do you still come back to these moments?

The memories, the laughs and the past?

I do

Every night under the sheets with glittering water in my eyes,

I still do, Every day and every moment

When I'm forced to forget about it,

When I'm forced to talk with strangers.

You think of me as home?

Silly me, once, I thought so too.

I wrote this poem when I came back home from a long tiring day. I just felt exhausted after whatever happened. But thanks to that pain, I wrote a wonderful poem (which I don't think is wonderful but yeah it's alright). I don't even know why I'm posting this, I just wanted to.

@misteriadare @ch3rrycok3s @fellivra @tere-naal-nachna @cloudmast @maystella @tanipartner @akshayekhanna @rehmandakaitswife @tere-ni-kararan @mainyahaankyunhoon @goodnightkatherine

[carminevinyl]

I Promise You’ll Never Regret Loving

Love can hurt. Sometimes it leaves wounds that time can’t erase, but it also leaves a light that no darkness can ever extinguish. True love doesn’t always come in the form of a person. Sometimes it comes with four little paws, a sincere gaze, and a tail that wags for no reason at all. This is the story of someone who taught me not to let a bad moment be the last… and to remember that love, no matter what, always stays. This is the story of Tomi, my light, my teacher, my guide, and everything he taught me about loving without measure, even when he’s no longer here.

There once was a little dog named Tomi who wagged his tail for everything and everyone. He didn’t need much of a reason, life itself seemed to be enough. Every morning, he’d open his eyes and start his day with the same excitement: greeting whoever crossed his path, eating his food like it was a feast, walking, running, existing. Always wagging his tail, always thrilled just to be.

You’d never guess, seeing him like that, everything he’d been through. Once, he was rescued from the hands of children who hit him, kicked him, and planned to throw him away. Later, he ended up in a house that was more a place than a home, left outside through rain or sun, with affection arriving in small doses, almost as if love were something he had to earn.

And yet, even then, he kept wagging that little tail. Looking at the world with eyes that still believed in kindness. Eyes that forgave everything.

He was run over, attacked by bigger dogs, and still, he never stopped being love in motion.

With time, Tomi got older. His steps grew slower, his sight faded, and his hearing turned into memory. He started making funny sounds, like a tiny piglet (in Spanish, chancho means pig, and Chanchi became my affectionate nickname for him). He answered to both names, the old one and the new, as if to remind me that no matter how much time passed, he was still the same soul inside. The same joy. The same love.

His favorite place in the world became the bed we shared, where he’d curl up next to me, finally living the life he had always deserved.

Tomi was my greatest teacher. He taught me that no darkness can erase who we truly are. That we can go through storms, heartbreak, and neglect, and still wake up wagging our tail. Still find joy in the simplest things. Still choose love, over and over again.

That’s what he taught me, that life is really about, not what happens to us, but how softly we keep loving after it does...

And then, one day, he was gone.

My precious baby, my companion through every chapter of my life, finished his mission here on earth, suddenly, leaving behind an ache I still feel, but also a deep gratitude for his existence. For having shared even a small piece of this life with me.

Every time I think of him, I also think of all the things I wish I could change, how I should have treated him better, how I regret the times I got mad. His last day with me wasn’t a peaceful one; I was upset, he’d made a mess, and I said things I wish I could take back. I opened the door for him to go outside, like I always did, not knowing that it would be the last time I’d see those bright eyes. The last time he’d wag his tail, still full of life.

I know his spirit is still here, I feel it every time I light the candle on his little altar. But even then, I can’t help but think of everything I won’t get back.

So please, whatever you do today, always remember tenderness.

Don’t let a bad moment be the last one.

Don’t let any relationship end with harsh words or silence. You never know when it’s the last time.

Don’t let anyone walk away and leave you with the weight of what could’ve been.

Time doesn’t rewind.

Only love stays.

No matter what happens, it has to be bigger than the anger, the pride, the impatience.

In the end, that’s all that remains.

And when you remember, you’ll decide how: with regret, or with nostalgia and sweetness.

Choose love. Always.

-xoxo🌸✨️

"My loyal companion our souls are not apart.

You will always be one with me. Wherever I go, you’ll be there. Wherever you are, I am."

I love you 💌

[deadpoetneenzs]