SATIRICAL

[coloneljonesy]

  it's been a year and a half since he finally convinced her to join the armory. truth was they needed more witches in their ranks. not to say that he didn't trust some of the human leaders but humans were so fickle , sometimes more so then supernatural . at least with those in the supernatural community you knew where you stood, there was no back talk or side speak. they often told you, to your face what their motives were, humans and again not all but a good majority of them didn't. when power was given to them they often exploited it. but witches had that bad habit too but for their were certain witches... certain covens that he wanted on his side. he tried his luck with shelia bennett many, many years ago. when she was a woman coming into her own. she had declined; looking after her family was her priority. and he respected her for it. he could see some of miss shelia in her grandchildren. even looking past their power. the way bennett women carried themselves was alluring. the way lucy bennett carried herself perhaps more so. but he tried to push those thoughts from his mind, he was there to train her to build her in the image the armory wanted. mostly he was there to make sure that she didn't kill herself ... their agents had a tendency of doing this. 

this mission had taken them to  germany, and it was fucking freezing. thankfully the armory had bases in most major metropolitan areas so there was no sleeping in some run down motel tonight thank gods. they were however stuck sharing a room as they weren't the only armory agents in town looking for this specific relic. the shower had done wonders for him, a billow of steam followed behind him as a towel clad kris walked into their shared room. there she sat crossed legged on the bed, eyes intensely looking over the coordinates on the map. the wrong ones because when they got there, they found nothing. cold, hungry and frustrated they had decide to head to hq and try again in the morning. but if spending this much time with her had taught him anything... kris knew what that look on her face meant.  "let it go witchy.” walking to the dresser he pulled out a an outfit for a their night out. “ we spend hours going over that place. the coordinates were wrong." he came to stand in front of her small  water droplets lightly peppered the map as he toweled dried his hair. "we are meant to be going out with the others remember, see what germany had to offer with the drinking scene." he sang song but when he got no response he plopped down next to her. " this isn't going to be one of those- i'm too fucking stubborn to let shit go and now i'm obsessed, moments is it? cause i'm hungry and want to go drink after fighting a bunch of dryads"

| closed starter :  @nghtmqred​ |

[coloneljonesy]

twiceburrned​:

“That sounds like a pain in the ass.” Otto said with a smirk. “I feel for you.” He said almost sincerely. This was a stranger after all. Otto shrugged. “I can say uncle in law then.” Otto said. “That way we’re not related by blood but just close enough to spend time with each other.” There was smirk. “I can say I hadn’t see you since the wedding.” He joked. “We can come up with better abilis when we finish eating.” He said eating some more fries. “What should I call you by the way?”

kris gave a nonchalant shrug, " it comes with the territory." as much as he bitched and moaned about it  and he could he had the stamina to do it. the armory had saved his life more then once. a purpose, something to fight towards , something to fight for. they might not always get it right but when they did it was magical. "uncle works, its not like anyone that knows me would believe i have a kid anyway." laughing at the thought, he spent more time traveling then stuck here or in any place for too long. " i think the last time i was here there was a wedding so it tracks." approving of the haphazard,  make-shift story their were weaving together. " you can call me kris, i'm one of those cool uncles that lets the kids call him by his first name."

[coloneljonesy]

hoaxwings​:

over the holidays, her uncle had decided to propose to his girlfriend. It was a long time coming, sure but somehow Miriam had thought she would have more time before the countdown started down. clearly that had not been the case, which was why she had asked for a day off and looked through the ads for a apartment that she could afford and wouldn’t be too out of the way of work. in between all the opening houses and apartment appointments she had forgotten to feed herself. so it was no surprise that when she passed by the local pizzeria she didn’t have any second thoughts to stop by and grab her a piece herself. while she shared the same sentiment as the male, she didn’t really have any idea what the armory was. “I agree. Did you get a day off work?” she asked, as she took another bite from her slice, sitting at the next table beside the male. “You know this place – just manages to get the dough just perfect. I had forgotten about it all – guess I’ll add it to the list of negatives of being a workacholic.” 

“something like that, i just got back in the country it was a very long work trip.” the things he did for that place. kris was sure that if management knew half the shit that he had to put up with when on assignment; they would still send him on the shitty assignments. he knew that there were perks to the job, the traveling part was half the fun. last thing he wanted to do was be stuck in town for too long and have all his skills get rusty. but spelunking through caves , staying in sometimes run down hotels, fighting off hordes of supernaturals and keeping his jinni status on the low... wasn’t exactly the high life.  kris turned towards her and smiled. “ that's what i’m saying, people put their nose up at this place but no one gets the dough this good. i’m a connoisseur of pizza if you will.  .” chuckling he took another bite. “ what do you do for work. you  look like a school teacher which isn’t a bad thing.,

[coloneljonesy]

rxgclity​:

“I don’t know what the armory is exactly but I haven’t heard anything,” she said, having heard stories that her family was connected to it but nothing more than that. She wondered what he was, sensing that he wasn’t human but having no idea what he could be, a feeling she had never felt before overwhelming her.

“ you’re the lucky one, “ he surmised. there were time he wondered what his life would be like if he hadn’t been in the armory. probably on a nice island some where with lots of scantly clad people around to with one of those fruity drinks with the straws in them. he wondered if it was to late for him to do just that. “ if you do hear anything don’t tell me ... not till i finished my vacation from my vacation.”

[coloneljonesy]

longroadhcme​:

─────     →

          The armoury, something she was only recently familiar with, she had her ties to other witches in town to thank for that. “Well, I don’t suppose those are the only scenarios in which would challenge your attention?” The brunette quipped, witnessing the male as he enjoyed the doughy meal before him. “I believe we’ve yet to meet.” Esther was beginning to make her presence known around town, both to familiar faces, and newfound residents. It was paying off, building her connections and potential ally-ships, particularly given she was positive not all members of her family would be thrilled upon her arrival. A few specific names rising right to the top of the list of those she would be keeping a watchful eye on. “Esther Mikaelson, it’s a pleasure.”

“no probably not but they are the only scenarios that it could be in this moment.” he countered with a grin. he didn’t know who she was,  but being otherwise preoccupied for the last six months he was sure hers would not be the only face that he didn’t recognized .  “ i’d say its safe to say that yeah,” he chuckled reaching for a napkin he wiped at the corner of his mouth he wasn’t  completely uncouth. “ charmed, the names kris quan, i’d shake your hand but a little greasy.” instead he reached for his sugary sweet float and took a long swig of it. “ you wanna slice, i’ve got extra unless this is something business related then,  like i said. i aint here.” 

[coloneljonesy]

ofxpressicns​:

Stefanie knew the guys was busy but she wanted her pizza. “I think they got our orders mixed up,” She said, showing him the order. “That one you just bit into is mine so I thought you would want the one you got so I can reorder,”

kris looked between the two pizzas, nodding his head slowly. “ so the they did. “ he wasn’t surprised while the pizza were pretty good all things considered. the works were the brightest sometimes, they should really do something about that. “ i mean you can keep it, and get yourself  a free slice and a drink. for the inconvenience.” 

[coloneljonesy]

ofgracefulfury​:

Kala had remained in a state of indifference about McKinley since her arrival. There were places that she would rather be, but she’d been forced into worse situations as well so really the vampire held no complaints with her current state of affairs. At least Ezra and Elijah were both here, she was surrounded by people that knew and cared for her, and what more could a girl really ask for? “Too true,” she answered, legs kicked up as she took a seat next to the man. The simple things were what she had been able to find the beauty in over the last five centuries. “No dying, nothing blown up, just a girl in the world looking for someone to make sarcastic quips with and hopefully share their pizza.” 

kris let out a long whistle. “ i don’t know, i mean sarcastic quips and banter i pass those out like candy. but my pizza. ma'am i hardly know you.” he jested food was serious business he didn’t just share with anyone  still considering she didn’t seem half as broody as some people hes run into in the last few months .that alone was a worthy of a thanks... for not being a little shit. chuckling, he moved the box of pizza towards her, “ i’m not sharing my drink.” he grinned humming in satisfaction as he took another bite of his slice. “ no dying and nothing blowing up. sounds like i came back at the worst time.”

[coloneljonesy]

griefbuilt​:

skylar  had  that  six-gun  heart  (  look  at  you  !  with  your  trigger  finger  and  death  row  aspirations  !  when  has  playing  russian  roulette  with  god  ever  worked  in  your  favor  ?  pull  the  trigger.  the  gun  goes  BANG  !  you’ve  hit  the  wrong  target.  have  you  learned  anything  from  it  ?  )  that  drew  them  ass-first  into  the  nearest  disaster….but  they  were  trying  to  change  that.  worshipping  at  the  altar  of  a  more  patient  man  for  their  family’s  sake.  needless  to  say  that  almost  all  went  out  the  window  the  second  they  saw  their  father.  like  the  punchline  to  some  stupid  school-yard  joke,  he’d  waited.  and  waited.  and  waited.  until  eventually  he  had  accepted  his  father  wasn’t  coming  back.  (  did  it  happen  at  ten  or  thirty  ?  )  but  now  that  they  had  him,  what  did  they  do  with  him  ?  the  ties  that  bind  only  extend  so  far,  and  they  weren’t  naïve  enough  to  think  it  was  past  space  and  time.  but  god,  were  they  still  that  pathetic  eight  year  old  kid  at  heart….they  downed  a  shot.  raised  a  brow.  “  wouldn’t  it  be  better  if  you  ate  slow  enough  to  taste  it  ?  “  

he gnawed on the young man words; literally before reaching for his float and starting to pull the overly sweeten drinking down in gulps. nearly emptying the glass before he placed it back down down with a grin. “:not when the last decent meal you had was months ago. and yes i realize pizza and a root beer float is more junk food then a meal but no judgment please. i have a palette of a teenage boy.” grinning he reached for is pizza and took several big bites of it. he knew that there was something of an art in a way, eating and enjoying ones food. but when your life was either constantly working , or being forced to work. you never really knew what would happen one second to the next. and he sort of liked it that way. not knowing what to expect taking life as it come. it allowed him to experience the world in ways few ever would. kris looked towards the other expectantly. assuming he had something to say or ask: because that how it worked most of the time. “ you just sharing your worldly knowledge with me or can i help you with something?” he was almost done now anyway.

[coloneljonesy]

twiceburrned​:

Otto was eating across from him. The phoenix thought he was hungry because of his own metabolism. Otto nodding in agreement. “I’ll drink to that my friend.” Otto joked raising his Orange Julius. “Don’t worry if anyone asks about Armory stuff?” He repeated slowly. “I’ll tell them your my uncle and its a family emergency.” He joked. “Hunger crisis are too real these days.” He said grabbing more fries. “Why are those guys on your back anyway?” He asked in passing, partly curious. 

possibly because i’ve been mia for the last six months,” he grinned “ that or they missed me so much they can’t help but bug me the minute i step foot in town.”  at this point if he’s placed on assignment then there really shouldn’t b a question. the shit he got up too was almost movie worthy. the asian james bond; or indian jones. he like the idea of that. now if only he got paid more money. still it was good to see otto and get some food without the pressure of his responsibilities they would come calling sooner or later. “no one will believe i’m your uncle. i’m too young and good looking for that.”

[coloneljonesy]

nghtmqred​:

The annoyance was clear on her face, made clearer as she slammed her fist into the side of his arm, she may have put a little magic into it because over the last six months, he clearly hadn’t been missing a meal. “ I don’t hear from you in months, and this is where I find you.” she hissed, slamming her fist into his arm again a little harder this time a little more juice behind it. When Kris hadn’t answered her calls, when no one was able to find him. She had thought the worst, only to get a call from one of the lower ranks saying they spotted him at the pizzeria stuffing his face! She threw one last punch for good measure before stealing his float. “ You better have a good reason for not calling or there’s more where that came from.” 

‘hey,” kris protested trying to block the blows lucy but she got a couple of good ones in there.  finally he had to put his food down to get a hold of her wrist. “ didn’t anyone every tell you use your words not your fist.”  finally letting her go because he did deserve it. it wasn’t his intention to be gone for this long but it ultimately was  even his fault . better he deal with it on his own then bring it back here haunt them all.  “ sorry kid, i know i should have called but it couldn’t be helped. kinda got stuck in indentured servitude soooo... whatcha gonna  do?” it was his lot in life their were perks and there were little shits that double cross you and offering up on a plate.. a frown deepen on his brow as he watched her drink his float but he figured he wouldn’t push his luck. she looked good. leadership really became her but he’d knows she was special the moment he met her. “ did think you could get bossier since the last time we spoke but i stand corrected.” he grinned softly nudging her. “ how you been luc, aside from the assaulting and innocent man.”

[dailystobin]

stobin + incorrect quotes  (2/∞)

[coloneljonesy]

@nghtmqred

[fleetwoodmar]

LEWIS TAN as Lu Xin Lee Fistful of Vengeance (2022)

[coloneljonesy]

the benefits of having phenomenal cosmic power never seemed to come in handy when he needed them. the plight of being a jinni he supposed. still it was good to be back in mckinley. especially after traipsing in the amazon jungles for a medallion he was sure wasn’t worth the trouble. and of course there was the  perk of being back in civilization: his frist treat was that of a big ass slice of pizza and a rootbeer float. he’d been dreaming of it since the villagers had him tied up for months on end. inhaling deeply he took a large bite humming in delight. “god damn it really is the simple things in life.” chewing happily at the bar he stood at when the figure came up next to him. “i’ve got a pizza to enjoy so unless someone is dying or the armory blew up. i’m currently unavailable,  leave a message after the beep,” which was followed by a long beep as he took another bite. | @sanguishqsstarters​

[asianmenarewinning]