n.

red rose growing out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it

[colorsinautumn13]

“Maktub” she said. “If I’m really part of your dream you’ll come back one day.”

[freelance-philosopher]

“The man with the clear head is the man who frees himself from fantasy and looks life in the face, realizes that everything in it is problematic, and feels himself lost. And this is the simple truth—that to live is to feel oneself lost. Whoever accepts this has already begun to find himself, to be on firm ground. Instinctively, as do the shipwrecked, he will look around for something to which to cling, and that tragic ruthless glance, absolutely sincere because it is a question of his salvation, will cause him to bring order into the chaos of his life. These are the only genuine ideas; the ideas of the shipwrecked. All the rest is rhetoric, posturing, farce. He who does not really feel himself lost is without remission; that is to say, he never finds himself, never comes up against his own reality.”

—

José Ortega y Gasset, The Revolt of the Masses

[colorsinautumn13]

and then there’s some days where all I want to do is spend the rest of my time writing beautiful words that touch even just one other human being with that feeling that life is nothing but pure magic

[cleverwordsandotherstuffilike]

[colorsinautumn13]

I can’t fucking wait for the day when I start my own family and I get to decide what the environment will look like. An environment where the default isn’t too passive aggressively attack and lash out at people for who they are. Where you don’t need to hide away in my room all day and dump all your thoughts onto tumblr because that’s the safest place to regulate your emotions. Where it’s okay to be different, have different values, ideals and ways of being but where that doesn’t influence your respect for and treatment of those people. Where people are loved, even if they have different dreams and goals and their life might look different from your own.

i just have these moments where I feel like people around me are asleep and I just want to shake them and be like “do you not see what you are doing right now?”… How come I can see all your negative emotions like your carrying around a sign? You’re letting it out on me god damnit. And you have no idea what you’re doing? Or you just don’t care?

It’s kind of isolating to feel like the people who you should be closest to just don’t know, understand or value you at all. But at the same time, I feel like I know, understand and value myself more than I ever have. It’s such a weird contrast. One that I rarely see people speak about.

[colorsinautumn13]

People always say that to find your path in life you should follow the trail of what you really love, what makes you feel passionate, what you want and desire.. but that’s just been useless in my experience. First of all, the things that I want and love change constantly, like… all the damn time. And there are also tons of them. How would anyone choose just one thing to go after and dedicate their life to?

But what about taking a look at what you hate? What is something that bothers you more than anything else? The one underlying thing you keep coming back to in every interaction? Maybe the problems that we care about are designed to help us direct our efforts towards solving them. If something in the world really bothers you, then it’s your personal responsibility to fix it. That’s how we produce meaning. We’re evolved to be problem solvers after all, not to be seekers of passion and pleasure.

I’ve observed my behaviors, my values and interests for a decent amount of time now to realize that there is nothing that irks me more than when people don’t live up to the potential of who they could be. In a behavioral sense. People are fascinating, man. In every relationship I have, I always seem to take on the role of trying to usher them toward letting go of what is holding them back and hurting them so they can become “better humans”. Nothing bothers me like unreached potential. And it’s about not greatness for the sake of accomplishment. Success, monetary gain or any sort of material achievement are amazing and worthwile in their own right, but for me it’s always about reaching your moral potential, potential of being, of meaning. Maybe that’s the female nurturer and protector instinct in me. Caring most about “raising humans” successfully. The instinct to care most about people and our mode of being in this world. I’ve never thought about it like that. If we all strive to be better individuala, then maybe that’s how we make the whole world a better place.

I wrote about this over a year ago at 2 am on my bathroom floor. What is are “good humans”? Why do some people try to be “good humans”? And how do we encourage each other to become “good humans”? Everything I do in my life seems to align with this underlying value system. I’d be a fool to believe that I even have a fraction of the knowledge I need to answer any of those questions with any accuracy. Maybe there never will be an answer. Maybe that’s the point of anything philosophical in the first place. Trying to answer the unanswerable. Ahhhhhh man, that’s so deep. I fucking love it. How is there nothing that helps you analyze yourself as much as a tumblr essay 😂😂

This is good knowledge to have though. Understanding yourself and what makes you behave the way you do is crucial to understanding where your blindspots are and where you’re currently going wrong. Where is there space for improvement? That’s where relationships come back into the picture. Because other people, if they truly respect and value you, can objectively see you and help you identify your blindspots much better. And if you truly value and respect them, then you can listen to what they tell you about your unreached potential and use that as a path forward. GOD WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS SUCH A FULL CIRLCE 🤯🤯🤯

[colorsinautumn13]

I was high in the sky, with Pennsylvania under me …

Are there still beautiful things? ❤️

[motivation-and-fitness]

[julieswildestdreams]

And within that lies ultimate meaning.

[quotemadness]

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”

— Haruki Murakami

[colorsinautumn13]

What I need to remember most is that I want to be the kind of person that doesn’t let their frustrations and negative emotions out on my closest love ones. Why be in a marriage if every time you get angry at something in the world you’re just gonna use your partner as a sponge to soak up the negative energy that you don’t want to deal with? I will remind myself to continue to learn how to process my own negative energy in a way that doesn’t involve my future husband having to deal with emotional outbursts. And that goes for him as well. How could there be any real mutual respect in a relationship if we don’t care enough about not dumping our shit onto the person who can’t or doesn’t want to leave ... 🤯🤯🤯 wish I woulda learned this one earlier lol

[colorsinautumn13]

listening to sad music when you‘re happyyy and not getting sad from it is the Besssssssttttttt... i missed this feeling omg 😂

[colorsinautumn13]

you saaaaaid I know when I said I need some timeee, I need some spaaaace

[colorsinautumn13]

that moment of maturity when you’re so aware that you’re exactly where you need to be in your life’s journey and you recognize all the moments where your higher self made you sabotage situations in your life without you realizing that’s what you were doing ... because they knew it wasn‘t the right path for you or wasn‘t what you needed anymore.. and they were probably screaming to try to get you to see what you needed but you were just too blind or scared to do anything about it and so all that your higher self could do was manipulate your actions in a way that would make you sabotage yourself and what you thought you wanted so badly ... 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

and we go around blaming other people for all that they did wrong when in reality we‘re just as responsible for sabotaging things we thought we wanted but didn‘t actually

damn that I think the intuition knew it all long man..

[spiritualseeker777]

[freelance-philosopher]

“What I really need is to get clear about what I must do, not what I must know, except insofar as knowledge must precede every act. What matters is to find a purpose, the crucial thing is to find a truth which is truth for me, to find the idea for which I am willing to live and die. Of what use would it be to me to discover a so-called objective truth, to work through the philosophical systems so that I could, if asked, make critical judgments about them, could point out the fallacies in each system; of what use would it be to me to be able to develop a theory of the state, getting details from various sources and combining them into a whole, and constructing a world I did not live in but merely held up for others to see. Of what use would it be to me for truth to stand before me, cold and naked, not caring whether or not I acknowledged it, making me uneasy rather than trustingly receptive. I certainly do not deny that I still accept an imperative of knowledge and that through it men may be influenced, but then it must come alive in me, and this is what I now recognize as the most important of all. This is what my soul thirsts for…”

—

Søren Kierkegaard, Journals and Papers, Volume 5

[colorsinautumn13]

good reminder to live and not just learn ❤️

[colorsinautumn13]

Jocko and jbp making a podcast episode together makes me so fucking emotional 😭😭all the things you can go through in just 3 years, the growth and change, my fucking god.. I haven’t even started listening and I’m already cryingggg cuz it makes me so happy

[colorsinautumn13]

BABY ME BEING ALL EXCITED ABOUT THINGS THAT SEEM SO SECOND NATURE TODAY... what a fucking gift this is. I can’t believe it’s only been 3 years since then. Everything is so incredibly different. Life is amazing 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[colorsinautumn13]

Jocko and jbp making a podcast episode together makes me so fucking emotional 😭😭all the things you can go through in just 3 years, the growth and change, my fucking god.. I haven’t even started listening and I’m already cryingggg cuz it makes me so happy