capri

faded in my last song ᝰ.ᐟ

[byunbaekcult]

but fuck sake i'm already yours ☆

pairing: lee haechan x f!reader

genre: pg

synopsis: for the first half of your life, you’ve always loved lee donghyuck. you finally learnt to stop loving him but the universe plays a cruel joke by making him your marriage partner.

word count: 22.9k

tags: drama, childhood friends to lovers, arranged marriage, unrequited love, unresolved feelings, mentions of mild panic attack, fluff, angst with happy ending

playlist recommendation: urs by niki, blue moon by niki, drop dead by olivia rodrigo, bleach by 5sos, start over by 5sos

authors note: tbh I’m surprised I even finished writing this but since it’s done and his birthday aligned with the completion of my fic, I thought I should just post this here. happy birthday haechan and to everyone else, enjoy!

The first meeting between you two happened when you were mere children. You were taller than him, by a handful of inches of course but it still mattered to him. Donghyuck didn’t like it. The adults teased him relentlessly while you were oblivious to it.

“What a cute pair!” His grandfather would say. You had your usual gummy smile when you heard that, simply accepting the truth. You liked Donghyuck. You think he was smart, confident and cute. You were his best friend and he was yours. If all the adults had the same opinion about you two being a perfect match, the only consensus to your younger self is that it must be true.

Donghyuck, ever the boy, would openly frown at any sweet comments about the two of you but when it was just the two of you, things were different. He would fix your pigtails when it came loose. When you came over to his house for a play date, he would surprise you with a dress up doll. His actions were confusing but that didn’t deter you. It felt like a secret between the two of you. The way he quietly showed you care and concern made your tiny heart swell. It was enough if it meant keeping Donghyuck by your side.

When you reached your tween years, the meetings naturally grew lesser. From seeing him once every season to seeing him annually, your relationship had shrivelled but your hope hadn’t. The yearning had always lingered at the back of your chest. It was an ache you ended up growing up with.

Polite smiles and cold gazes are exchanged and beneath it all was your longing. Every change does not go unnoticed by you. Donghyuck has grown taller, brazen. He has his own group of friends that hangs around him during year end parties while the rest of the crowd can only stand in the sidelines, admiring their presence. His laughter is more interesting than the crowd.

It stays the same for a few years up until you turn seventeen. You had wished for a quiet celebration with your loved ones but your mother had insisted on a bigger celebration. She had rented out a popular restaurant in the heart of the city. It had an open rooftop concept and the party was swarming with guests, majority had been decided by your parents. Your own friends and relatives were there, thankfully.

You stuck with your new best friend for moral support. It was much needed when Donghyuck walked towards your table. He carried his usual self with suave, a complete difference from the panic rising in your chest. You leaned in closer to your cousin when your best friend Yizhou says, “I’m not drunk am I? That is Lee Donghyuck.”

There is barely any time to recover from your shock. Donghyuck saunters to the table. Your mother is overjoyed, her face splitting into a wide smile as she gets up to greet him. Your father joins her and you force yourself to rise, slowly approaching them. You barely notice the friends he had brought with him, your eyes are glued onto him.

Donghyuck finally turn towards you and you hope the hitching of your breath isn’t audible. “Happy birthday,” he says as he extends a wrapped present to you.

“Thank you.” You mumble, stiffly accepting the gift. Your mother forces a laugh as if to compensate for your lack of emotions.

“Go. Enjoy the party boys!” Your mother tells him and his friends.

“It’s so nice of him to show up.” You hear your father say.

When Donghyuck disappeared into the crowd, you confronted your mother. “Why did you invite him?”

She takes a sip of her wine, fixing you with a smirk. “It’s your birthday dear. Everyone is invited.” While you love your mother, her ambition has always been bigger than your own interests. The worst part is that you can’t find it in you to be whole heartedly mad, the little girl in you is pleased by Donghyuck’s presence. It makes you feel pathetic. You thought that once you had grown older, you would have grown out of your affection for him. Clearly you were wrong.

It’s your birthday party but your attention has drifted towards Donghyuck. It should tick you off that he is the centre of attention at your party but you’re relieved to have this small chance to collect yourself.

“Hey, I need a toilet break.” You inform Yizhou as you pass your gift to her. Your cousin overheard you and tried to call after you, but you waved her off, rushing to the bathroom.

It’s times like these you wished you picked up smoking. You settle for gently patting your face down with water. Your hands are pressed against the sink, staring down at your own reflection. In a matter of hours, your birthday glow has faded and you’re back to the lovesick girl you used to be.

The thought brings tears to your eyes. “Fuck, no.” You refuse to cry over him, not when he’s a few feet away from you. You can’t even hate him. It is not his fault that you harbour such helpless feelings for him.

Looking at your reflection again, you try to smile. It comes out small and uncertain and you can’t help but laugh at the silliness of it all. You feel more like your usual self, taking it as a sign to join the party again.

You push the door ajar and the person behind it yells, “Oh, fuck!”

“Oh my god!” You try to shut the door again, eyes clenching shut but you’re met with resistance. You slowly peel your eyes open and meet the victim of your actions. The only intelligent reply you could come up with is prolonged silence.

Donghyuck clears his throat and gently tugs the door handle towards him, urging you to step out of the bathroom and into the corridor. “Right, I am sorry about that. Thank you for holding the door and um,” you pause, doing a once over at his appearance. “Are you hurt?”

His soft laughter surprises you. “I’m okay.” The grimace from your face doesn’t fade so he adds, “Didn’t you used to say that I was strong? I can handle a door.” Donghyuck winks as if to prove a point.

Your eyes dart towards the direction of your party, ignoring the flutter in your chest. You side step Donghyuck, getting out of the tiny corridor. The reason for your brief escape just had to appear right before you.

“Were you going to the men’s? You should go. I am leaving too.” You ramble, already walking away.

“No.”

Your steps halt and you slowly turn around. “Huh?”

There’s a decisive look in Donghyuck’s eyes and the way your stomach churns tells you that whatever is going through his mind, you will inevitably cave into his whims.

“I saw you leaving your party so I followed you.” He takes a step toward you. “I– Do you wanna dance with me?”

Your breath hitched. “What?”

There’s a redness that fans his cheeks but Donghyuck remains confident, even going as far as offering you his hand. The music is fainter in this part of the rooftop but even then, the scenery felt perfect. The potted trees were decorated with fairy lights to illuminate the area, along with the warm lights installed along the trees.

As far as your imagination goes, having Donghyuck willingly giving you his sole attention is much better than anything you have ever imagined.

“Are you sure? Don’t you miss the dance floor? I know it calls your name.” You tease.

At your remark, Donghyuck affectionately rolls his eyes. “The dance floor could use a little breather from my presence.”

You break into a shy grin when you slip your hand into his. “Okay. Then let’s take a breather together.”

It’s like the whole night was leading up to this moment. The song transitions to a slower beat, giving you the opportunity to sidle up Donghyuck and try to relax.

His mouth brushes the side of your head. “Follow my lead,” he softly instructs. It is as good as a warning you got from him. Donghyuck pulls you close so that you’re chest to chest. His free hand rests slightly above your hips, merely holding you but the reaction for you instant. It feels like his warmth is burning through the expensive material of your dress. Your eyes nervously dart around his figure.

Donghyuck’s voice softens. “Look at me.” Your eyes slowly shift towards his face. It starts at his forehead where stray strands of hair effortlessly frame his head, then it lands on his arched brows. They’re perfectly shaped because of course, the heir of the Lee’s has a beautician to tidy up his god sent feature. You purposely avoid his eyes, moving onto the slope of his nose and his inviting lips.

Bad move. You make a misstep and Donghyuck holds you firmer than before, his hand pressing into your hips to support you. You clutch onto his back a little tighter, probably leaving wrinkles in his pristine suit. This time you do meet his eyes, albeit apologetically. “I‘ve never done this before,” you tell him.

Donghyuck smiles and he slowly dips you, letting you lean back onto his sturdy arm as he brings his face to yours. “You have done this before though.”

You almost missed his reply. Your mouth part in confusion, a question already leaving your lips. “When?”

He brings you back to your proper position but this time, you feel caged in. Your brows are furrowed and Donghyuck’s humour dims. “You really don’t remember at all?”

When you shake your head, Donghyuck sighs wistfully. “It was my uncle’s wedding. You were seven and I was eight. We danced on the dance floor that day.”

You squint at him as you try to jog your memories. Slowly, bits and pieces of your earlier memories from your shared childhood comes back to you. It was an outdoor wedding on a sunny day. You were appointed as the flower girl and Donghyuck was the ring bearer.

“Wait,” you said as the memories came flashing in. “You were the ring bearer and you tripped on the carpet at the end of the aisle. Oh I remember now!”

You were grinning widely but Donghyuck wasn’t all too pleased. “Seriously? You couldn’t remember our dance but you remembered my embarrassing moment?”

You shrugged sheepishly. “Help me remember more of that day.”

Donghyuck laughs. “We weren’t really dancing, just swaying like this,” he says before changing the pace to an uncoordinated rhythm, causing you to squeal.

“Are you sure?” You exclaimed as you latch your chin over his shoulders.

Donghyuck suddenly stops. “Still don’t remember?” You lift your head to look at him and he’s already staring you, an unspeakable thing glimmering in his eyes. You shake your head.

“I spun you around.” You take it as a queue to pull back from his chest until you’re eye to eye. The first spin comes, with his arm raised above your heads. You try your best to follow his lead and you end up resting your hand on his chest, a bubble of laughter erupting from within you.

“That was clumsy of me.” Donghyuck agrees with a smile. “Try again,” he softly says. This time you are prepared and when you spin, you barely even trip. You beamed brightly as you look up at Donghyuck for approval and he nodded encouragingly.

Your smile drops a little when you tell him, “Unfortunately, I still don’t remember the wedding.”

“Hmm?” There’s a lilt in his voice that you didn’t expect. “Maybe this will help you remember.”

A soft peck lands on your cheek, taking you by surprise. You look at Donghyuck and he’s blushing when he pulls away. The tension between the two of you is palpable, your faces inches away from one another. It would be so easy to lean upwards and close the distance between you but you remained rooted in your spot.

“I think I’ll remember this better than our first dance from a decade ago.” Your voice comes out as soft as a whisper, barely heard above the noise.

Donghyuck releases you from his hold and he takes a step back, withdrawing himself from your shared space. You try to school your features to hide your hurt.

“I guess I’ll see you at the end of the year. Happy birthday Y/N.” There’s a guarded look in his eyes and you want nothing more than to scream at him but you don’t. You can’t. A lot of unsaid words were stuck in your throat and endless thoughts running through your mind as you watched Donghyuck turn his back on you, walking away from you with your fragile heart in his hands.

You didn’t tell any one of that sacred incident, opting to keep it to yourself. When you returned to your party, Donghyuck was long gone even though his friends stuck around. You ignore the skeptic glance they sent your way and plaster a smile for the rest of the night.

That same night, your dreams took you back to a forgotten memory, one where you’re dancing with your childhood best friend. His grip in your hand is warm and clammy but you didn’t mind, flashing him a smile. You’re still taller than him but even you can admit that Donghyuck is catching up to you in terms of height difference. The rest of the wedding-goers fade away and Donghyuck is leaning in. There’s alarm bells going off in your mind but you let it happen, his soft lips leaving a chaste peck on the apples of your cheeks. Donghyuck is saying something but it sounds garbled. You try to focus on his shy smile as the dream sequence slowly slips away from your consciousness.

When you wake up, you dart straight for the pile of gifts in the corner of your bedroom. You dig through the stacks of presents and take the wrapped gift that Donghyuck had given you. You’re sitting on your calfs, carefully tearing at the wrapping paper to unveil a sleek red box with gold embossing on it.

You cover your mouth with your hands, staring at the gift in disbelief. Inside the box, a gorgeous Baignoire in gold sits in there, waiting to be worn. You want to reach for your phone to send Donghyuck a text but you realised that you don’t even know if you had his number to begin with.

Amidst your shock, you finally notice the card that came with the present. You take the card to read what was written on it.

I can’t believe you’re 17 now. Time surely flies by when you’re busy growing up. I know you’ll wear this well.

lee donghyuck x

You don’t realise you’re crying until a stray tear lands on the back of your hand. You quickly wipe away the tears and gather his gifts in your arms before going to your storage trunk. In it is your most valuable possessions. It has started when you were young and you had developed an obsession with pirates. Donghyuck would always use it as his hiding spot for hide and seek.

You’re hit with a wave of nostalgia when you open up your trunk. There’s plenty of room for more possessions that you hope to collect in years to come. You carefully set the card down and put the jewellery box on top of it, just to hide it from any potential prying eyes. With a heavy heart, you will yourself to close the trunk.

“It’s his twenty first, you should be there!”

“I dunno,” you say as you turn the party invite around in your hands. Your thumb caresses the family crest embossed into the card. It has been ages since you had received an invite to Donghyuck’s birthday. To say you were curious would be a lie. “Besides, why would he have a party at his parent’s house? Shouldn’t it be at a club?”

Yizhou shrugs. “I don’t know? The Lee’s run a tight ship I guess with him being their heir and all that stuff. It would be safest to host a party at their estate.”

You’re not fully satisfied but her logic makes sense. “Your family got an invite too?”

“It was addressed to me, just like how your invite has your name on it.” Seeing as how you’re not convinced, Yizhou tries a different approach. “A masquerade sounds fun doesn’t it?”

“Yeah but it’s Donghyuck’s. Something isn’t quite right.”

“Then come to the party with me. Find out whatever it is that you’re suspecting him of.”

Without meaning to, you glance over at storage trunk situated at the end of your bed. It has been almost three years since you had received the priceless gift from him. It remains untouched by you.

“Okay,” you said softly.

“Okay?”

You nodded, holding the urge to take your words back. Yizhou squeals. “Yes! Thank you!”

You pull your best friend in for a hug, smothering Yizhou as she struggles against your strength. Your bright laughters carry through the night and your unease sits at the back of your mind.

And so, you’re left with a moments notice to scramble for an outfit. You have been to plenty of parties but a masquerade is a whole new ballgame. There’s a slight thrill behind the anonymity of the event and it serves as a comfort for you to lean into. Your mother is beyond thrilled to hear that you had accepted the invite. She had given you free rein on your choice of outfit and in a small act of rebellion, you decided to find yourself a vintage dress worthy of your mother’s credit card.

All that’s left was the mask. You browsed countless websites for a mask suitable to your likings and one finally caught your eyes. That purchase had also gone onto your mother’s credit card.

Even though it was not expected of you, you still wished to bring Donghyuck a present. Yizhou and your close cousins were of no use so you turned towards your father for help.

“Could you help me find out from Mr Lee what Donghyuck would want for his birthday?”

Your father tilted his head sideways. “Are you sure you came looking for the right parent?”

You walked further into the study room and dramatically dropped onto the vacant seat. “I don’t want to ask Ma for help. She will end up taking control of the gift and probably terrorise Mrs Lee.”

Your father snorts in agreement. He takes in your dejected mood and his face softened. “I don’t think me or Mr Lee would be of much help. Whatever the gift is, I know Donghyuck would appreciate it because it came from your heart.”

His words were true. You had been trying to avoid personalising your present but a meaningless present would be pointless for the both of you. “He grew up well,” your father suddenly says.

“What do you know of him? We only see him once a year.” You can’t help but challenge your father, curious as to what he thinks of your childhood best friend.

He clicked his tongue in disagreement. “No, you and Ma only see him at the end of the year. I have seen him socialising at the country club.”

Donghyuck is charming and has ambition which makes him a threat in your societal pool. While you typically choose to distance yourself from society, Donghyuck was rising through it, making all the right connections one handshake at a time. As far as you know, he was still in college. To think that he was juggling his ambitions on top of school was impressive to you.

“What does he do there?”

“He mostly plays tennis.” You hummed thoughtfully. It’s enough of a lead for a perfect gift. You thank your father and take your leave, occupied with a mental list of potential gifts for Donghyuck.

The day finally arrived. You went through your day slowly, not wanting to rush into it for fear of your nerves getting to you. By the time you were finished scrubbing yourself clean, you were left with sufficient time to get ready and head to the Lee’s estate.

Your family driver drove you to the party and you spent the majority of the ride stuck in your head, fiddling with the rings you had slipped on. You look downwards and gaze at your wrist, where a simple chained bracelet sits. The thought of wearing the watch Donghyuck gifted you had crossed your mind but you weren’t sure if you wanted him to notice you tonight.

“Y/N?” You’re startled out of your daze by your family driver. He turns in his seat, sporting a deep frown on his face. “Y/N, are you unwell?”

“No.”

“Are you sure because I can take you back home and–”

You cut in, “I am fine. I promise. I just had my mind elsewhere.”

The frown on his face loosens and he nods, respecting your wishes. “I’ll bring the car around at midnight but if you wish to stay here longer, or wish to leave earlier, do call me.”

You smile, grateful for the loyalty of your family’s employees. “Got it.”

Your hand reaches for the car door when your family driver hurriedly adds, “I think Mr Lee will be pleased to see you tonight.”

“What?”

“You are stunning. Even a mask cannot hide your brilliance and he would be a fool not to know that.”

It was what you needed to hear, a firm push to get you out of the car and into the party. You tied your mask onto your face and gathered your handful of belongings in your hands. Security and a staff checks your party invite and you hand over your gift at the entrance hall before being escorted into the main room.

You hadn’t known what to expect but Mrs Lee’s party planning blew your expectations out of the water. Waiters walk around the room with a tray of drinks and by the corner, there’s a buffet table with an assortment of sweet treats.

A masked stranger walks up to you, stealing your attention away from the party decor. “Fine evening Miss.”

You awkwardly smile, thankful to be able to hide behind your mask. “Hi. You don’t have to be formal with me.”

His laughter is warm, a low timbre that is surprisingly pleasant. “I’m sorry. I guess I got nervous given the fact that half of the room is looking at you.”

Confusion clouds over your eyes. “Me? You probably meant us.”

He shakes his head. “You,” he repeats with more emphasis.

Slowly, you look around the room and notice the crowd has grown bigger during the time of your conversation. Maybe the masks serves as a shield for everyone tonight. People barely shy away from your gaze, comfortable to watch you from afar behind the safety of a mask. Your skin prickles uncomfortably and your smile grows tight. “I dont understand.”

The lights in the room brightens up and the murmur of the crowd increases. Donghyuck enters, gliding into the room. “Come on,” the kind stranger beckons and you follow, the two of you moving through the crowd to get closer to Donghyuck.

He’s donned a silky blouse in a shade of baby blue. The blouse leaves little to no imagination, a bold opening at his chest and the strings were barely tied together. His trousers are just as tight. You kept your gaze on his mask. It’s intricately designed and it helps distracts you from your wandering thoughts.

“Thank you everyone for coming tonight. My parents, who aren’t here tonight, bestowed this party onto me for my twenty first.” Donghyuck pauses and the crowd chuckle. “However, I am thankful for the overwhelming turn out. I want to keep it short and sweet. I wish everyone has an enjoyable night." Anyone who was holding a drink raised their glasses in the air, toasting to Donghyuck's speech. You watch him as he smoohtly downed a flute of bubbly. The ones nearest to him hoots and hollers at his bravado, some even patting him on the shoulder.

The crowd had disperesed but your gaze remains on Donghyuck's figure as you finally piece your thoughts together. This man is a stranger to you, just as much as you are a stranger to him.

A soft touch to your arm pulls you away from your thoughts. You look at your companion who was patiently waiting for you. "Do you mind if you were to keep me company tonight?"

Seeing as how you have yet to find Yizhou, you accept his kind invite. You offer him your hand and he gladly accepts it. "I'm Jung Sungchan, by the way."

You vaguely remember hearing his name in passing though you cannot recall his face. "And I'm Y/N Y/L/N."

His face brightens, probably with recogniton but he doesn't press on about your identity which you are glad for. "Have you taken a proper look around the room?" Sungchan asks you and you shake your head. He breaks out into a wide grin, almost conspiratorial. "I'll show you which dishes to avoid."

The night takes a pleasant turn. You and Sungchan tried various food and drinks, stuck in your own bubble and genuinely enjoying each others company. You find out that Sungchan used to play soccer with Donghyuck in the little leauges, a past time you hadn't known Donghyuck had gotten involved with. In exchange, you tell Sungchan that you're Donghyuck's distant family friend.

His company was much needed and you hadn’t realised it. Sungchan makes you laugh when he breaks out dance moves that mismatch the beat of the song. Sungchan makes you laugh when he spins you around on the dance floor. Sungchan makes you laugh when he properly showcases his dance skills.

“You are such a fucking liar!” You yell over the music. Your tongue is looser than your usual poised self. Thanks to the unsupervised crowd, the two of you shared several glasses of alcoholic drinks. Now, the alcohol courses through your veins, leaving you a little unguarded. “You can dance! Hell! You probably invented dance!”

Sungchan chuckles and gently pulls you in. “You are drunk. Let’s get you some water.”

You reluctantly follow him, letting Sungchan pull you through the throng of partygoers. He stops in front of Donghyuck, quickly greeting him.

“Hyung! Happy birthday!” Sungchan greets.

Donghyuck looks at Sungchan then at the masked girl standing close to his back. Their fingers are loosely wrapped together and Donghyuck smirks. “Picking up a girl at my birthday party?”

“What? No!” Sungchan insists. “Y/N’s tipsy. Or drunk? Either way, I’m bringing her out for some fresh air. We’ll be back though!”

He takes a proper look and recognition dawns over him. “Y/N?” Donghyuck’s confusion gets drowned by the noise. Sungchan successfully pulls you through the crowd and you two disappear from Donghyuck’s sight. He belatedly notes that you didn’t acknowledge him. A sudden heaviness weighs on his chest as he realises that you’re at his party, spending time with his close friend.

Outside, you take in a deep breath. Sungchan had guided you into the Lee’s estates gardens. It felt like you had stumbled into a forgotten memory having been ages since you had last stepped foot in there.

You undo the tie of your mask and blindly toss it onto the bench behind you. Sungchan does the same. He chuckles, amused by your drunken behaviour. “Do you know who I am?”

You open your eyes and look at him. “Surprisingly, I do and I am drunk.” You decidedly plop down on the empty bench.

“Can you stay put? I need to go back in and get you some refreshments, maybe scavenge for whatever snacks there are left.”

“Okay but while you’re at it, can you find Yizhou and bring her to me?”

Your request is silly, you don’t even know if Sungchan knew her but Sungchan indulges in it. “Sure. I’ll be back.” Sungchan spins on his heels and takes his leave.

For lack of better things to do, you begin riffling through your purse. You take your time to fix your makeup then unlocking your phone to take some selfies. After a series of blurry pictures, you give up and start taking pictures of the garden.

“What are you doing?” The unexpected interruption causes you to let out a shrill scream, nearly dropping your phone in the process. You turn to glare at your intruder. Donghyuck is standing at the end of the bench, staring at you unapologetically.

“What the hell,” you cussed instead of answering his question.

He wordlessly offers you a mug. It’s nothing like the fancy glassware that is being used at the party. Your eyes narrow in suspicion. Donghyuck sighs deeply. “It’s warm water. I heard you’re drunk.”

“No I’m not.” You say rather petulantly as you accept the drink. “Thanks,” you quickly mutter before taking a sip.

Without your invite, Donghyuck settles down into the empty space beside you and you glare at him again. He merely ignores your childish reaction.

The warm water helps and gives you a little clarity but you don’t want to admit it out loud to Donghyuck so you remain silent, clutching the mug close to your chest. You decided to keep your gaze straight ahead, focusing on a bush of roses.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” He quietly admits after some time.

“Of course I did. We’re still friends even though we haven’t acted like one in a long time.” You replied, equally as quiet.

The obvious distance between you two can no longer be ignored. You can’t help but ask. “Why did we stop being friends?”

Donghyuck surprises you. “I guess I wanted to see if I could be a big boy and live my life without you circling in it. Make my own choices instead of trying to live the life everyone wants for me.”

The corner of your lips twitches, partly amused by his raw honesty. “And are you doing well?”

You turn to look over at Donghyuck and you note the dozens of emotions swimming in his eyes. He seems lost and your heart aches for him.

“No, I am not.” Donghyuck shakes his head, “I am not worthy of you, Y/N.”

Your breath hitches. You’re instantly sobered up. Even without explicitly saying it, you know what Donghyuck is referring to. You feign ignorance. “What are you on about?”

“Y/N… You are a remarkable woman. Don’t get tied down to me. You deserve a chance to find someone else, meet other people. Anyone you end up marrying would be lucky enough to have you as their partner.” Donghyuck chooses his words wisely, deliberately rejecting you before you’ve even gotten a chance to try.

“And so? You want me to marry someone else just because you’re insecure?” Your words sting Donghyuck and he visibly flinches away from you, seeking comfort in the distance between you two.

“That’s not it,” he tries again but you’re not having it. “Then what is it Donghyuck?” You ask, exasperated by his confusing nature.

“It’s not fair because neither of us has a say in this marriage agreement.”

You shakily inhale. “Does the fact that I want you scares you?”

Your heart lurches to the bottom of your stomach. His silence is deafening, a reply in itself. You turn your head away from him, refusing to let Donghyuck see the beginnings of a breakdown surfacing onto your face.

“Donghyuck, I didn’t come here tonight to beg for your attention. I only came because I was intrigued by the fact that I had received an invitation. Whether it was your decision or your parents, I don’t care anymore. You don’t want me here? Fine, I’ll leave but you terribly confuse me. Why did you come here to take care of me at your own party? Why did you tell me not to leave? Why did you dance with me and kiss me on the cheek only to run off? Why did you get me an expensive gift and a handwritten card for my birthday just to ignore me? I don’t get it.”

Donghyuck’s mouth parts open to say something, anything, but the words are caught at the back of his throat. He’s never seen you this devastated before and he is the cause of it. Your high strung emotions had finally snapped and it came out pouring out of your mouth, no longer able to push it down.

You abruptly stood up from the bench. “At least now I know what you think of me. I am just a burden from your past and I’ll stay there. I will get out of your way.”

Every step away from Donghyuck hurt more than you’d like to admit it. You wanted to look back at him. You wanted him to chase after you. You wanted him to comfort you.

You’re so caught up in your greed and hurt that you don’t notice two figures hiding behind the nearest pillar. A clothed hand reaches out and pulls you into their hiding spot. You recognise Yizhou through your blurry vision. “Ning,” you manage to croak out before bursting into tears.

Yizhou pulls you into a comforting embrace and Sungchan moves, covering you with his broad figure. Your heartbreaking cries are loud enough for anyone nearby to hear but you couldn’t care less. You fail to notice Donghyuck standing a couple of metres from the three of you, an anguished look on his face. Sungchan glares menacingly at him and Yizhou fixes him with a look of disappointment.

Donghyuck returns to the kitchen through the staff entrance, mug in one hand and your masquerade mask in another. He is too dazed and he doesn’t notice the whispering staffs as he passes through the house, decidedly ditching his own party. Donghyuck carefully places your mask on his nightstand before falling into bed, recounting the night before everything went wrong with you.

Life moved on, making it feel as though nothing had changed between the two of you. You had no idea what ran through his mind and decided that it was not worth fixating on. Again, you grew up without him by your side. You went off to college and moved out of your parent’s place much to your mother’s dismay. There was still one thing in your life that she could control which was your marriage prospects.

Over the years, the Lee’s hadn’t hinted any change in uniting your families in matrimony and you had no interest in finding a prospective marriage of your own. It is the only reason why you allow your mother to meddle.

One day, your livelihood had changed under the guise of your monthly family dinner. Instead of your usual spot, your parents told you to meet at a fine dining restaurant nestled in the heart of the city. Your clothes were rumpled from running around campus the whole day. You were sure that your hair had lost its curls over the course of the day.

“Y/N? You wore this the whole day?” Her thinly veiled judgment was not out of the ordinary but your suspicions should have been raised when she subtly spoke with the hostess.

Too bad you hadn’t noticed because your father was speaking with you. He brushed your hair back, tucking it behind your ear. “You look beautiful. Your mother is just on edge tonight.”

“For what?” You frown as the two of you trailed behind your mother.

“We have guests tonight.”

Before you could press him for more answers, the hostess stops in front of a pair of sliding doors. You have no choice but to brace yourself for whoever is waiting behind those doors.

The door slides open, revealing a married couple and their son. “Please come in! We’re so glad you could make it to dinner.” Mrs Lee says.

Your parents naturally step forward into the room, greeting their friends. You wish to stay rooted in your spot but the hostess is looking at you funny. You slightly bow to them and make your way inside, standing closely to your parents.

“You remember Y/N?” Your father asked the Lee’s.

“Of course!” Mrs Lee answers. You offer her a shy smile and she returns it by enthusiastically pulling you down into a warm hug. Mrs Lee, just like your parents, had grown too old for socialising at year end parties. Your generation had taken over the scene which meant that the last time you had met the Lee’s was over five years ago. She still wore the same perfume and you relaxed into the hug, now wearing a genuine smile on your face.

Mrs Lee lets you go and you turn to greet Mr Lee. “Thank you for the invite Mr Lee.”

He casually waved you off. “No need for the formalities. You seem like you’re doing well, Y/N.”

“I am. I hope you are doing well.”

From behind, you heard Donghyuck’s voice. “Mr Y/L/N. Mrs Y/L/N. It’s so great to see you again.”

You finally turn towards him. While your mother showers him with compliments, you stay silent, observing Donghyuck. He smiles and laughs appropriately, even bantering back with your mother.

Mr Lee addresses the room. “Let’s settle down. We’ll catch up over the courses.”

The elders easily settle into their seats which leaves you no choice but to sit next to your father, the seat that is directly across from Donghyuck’s. You keep your gaze down.

After the first course is served, conversation picks up amongst the elders. You keep your reactions to yourself and train yourself not to react whenever Donghyuck speaks.

Mr Lee changes the flow of the conversation. “And Y/N, are you in your final year of college?”

You lift your head and look directly at Mr Lee before replying. “Yes. I came from school. I was writing my dissertation and consulting with my professor.”

Mrs Lee chuckles. “You’re so hardworking. I don’t even remember Donghyuck working this hard during his final years of college.”

The table laughs and Donghyuck says, “Knowing Y/N, she’s probably working ten times harder than necessary. I am not lazy. Y/N is just an overachiever.”

Donghyuck is already staring at you when you bring your gaze over to him. Your eyes are clouded, a stark contrast to the practiced smile that has graced your face. Your mother swoons. “That’s our Y/N. You still know her well.”

A ghost of a smile appears on his face. “I had great memories with you.”

It’s terribly awkward and you are all too aware of the adults listening in on your conversation. “We did. How could I ever forget my childhood companion.” You say and quickly take a sip of your drink, desperate to end the interaction between you two.

Thankfully the next course is being brought in and you channel your focus onto the waiter clearing your dishes. The door slides shut and Mrs Lee speaks up. “It is good that you kids go way back. It does make your future look promising.”

The elders exchange furtive glances, leaving you and Donghyuck in the dark. Luckily, Donghyuck is impatient enough to ask them the million dollar question. “What future?”

Mr Lee places a reassuring hand over Mrs Lee’s. He turns to look at his son for a second, before turning over to you. “The two of you are to be wedded.”

It feels like all of the air has been knocked out of you. You’re almost certain that you heard wrong but the sound of Donghyuck’s chair dragging across the floor confirms that your present situation was real. Donghyuck stands, taking the cloth and throwing it into his seat.

“I wish to be excused.” He’s out the door before you even realise it. Tension hangs over the room upon his departure. You’re baffled by the way Donghyuck had chosen to flee the scene, leaving you alone at a time of crisis. Hurt blooms in your chest but you tamper it down.

You face Mr and Mrs Lee, putting on your practiced smile. “I am honoured that you think so highly of me. Thank you for your generous consideration but clearly this will not work out.”

“It’s already been decided.” Mrs Lee states.

A blank expression takes over your face before you could stop yourself. You hear your mother force out a laugh. “After decades, you still hold onto our promise. Your family is loyal and we are grateful.”

Your father adds on. “Thank you for accepting Y/N as your daughter.”

The elders are back in good spirits, raising their glasses for a toast. Meanwhile, your clouded gaze darts over the empty space in front of you, wondering the outcome of your shared fate.

His rejection is still fresh in your mind. It replays on loop without your consent, distracting you from your priorities. The sting that has long been associated with Donghyuck’s name returns but this time, there’s extra pressure pressing onto your chest. Your pride is bruised by the fact that your chance has been taken away from you again. Donghyuck hadn’t even given you a second thought before storming out of the room.

Were you really that unappealing to him after all these years? You weren’t madly in love with him anymore but the impact is still as painful as it once was.

You didn’t want to tell Yizhou or any of your cousins so you called up your last option.

“Y/N! What’s up?” Sungchan greets you.

The only positive outcome from that particular memory was your friendship with Sungchan. He quickly got over his initial crush on you and the two of you forged a strong friendship. Your mother had attempted to make you two a couple but you firmly stopped her each time.

You sit up from your bed. “Hey, are you busy?”

“Not really. I’m running right now.”

You roll your eyes. “You’re crazy.” Sungchan laughs and you continue, “I need to talk. Can you find somewhere to sit?”

After a brief pause, Sungchan returns to the call. “Okay, I’m ready.”

You take a deep breath. There’s no easy way to break the news. “I’m getting married to Lee Donghyuck.” A beat of silence passes through and you begin to worry about Sungchan’s wellbeing. “Hello?”

“No, I’m still here. Sorry I just– What?” Sungchan stumbles over his words. Normally you would laugh and tease him but the situation is too grave for you to crack a smile.

“Yeah. I got ambushed yesterday by both my parents and his parents. He was there too.”

Sungchan quietly asked, “And he accepted you?”

The sting of rejection returns but you keep your voice levelled. “No. He stormed out of the meeting. I haven’t heard from him since.”

Sungchan makes a noise of frustration and cusses. “What a fucking asshole. I’m sorry.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I need to tell somebody before all hell breaks loose.” You brush your hair through your hands, already imagining the widespread effect of your marriage announcement. Yizhou would fly back to Seoul in a matter of hours.

“Okay. Just keep me updated, yeah?”

You nodded. “Of course. Thanks Sungchan.”

The call ends and you drop your phone onto your bed, watching it bounce around. Despite your tarnished history with Donghyuck, getting married to him is the best outcome for your family’s wellbeing. You’re capable of compartmentalising your feelings but you can’t say the same for Donghyuck.

Worry etched onto your face. You throw yourself into your fluffy pillows, smothering your face in it while letting out a frustrated scream. Whatever it is that Donghyuck throws your way, you must overcome it.

You did not know whether to be worried or amused. You had walked into your apartment lobby, surprised by the sight of Donghyuck in the lounge area. He looks up from his iPad when he hears the doorman greeting you.

“Finally,” Donghyuck mutters as he gathers his belongings. From the looks of it, he had set up a makeshift office in the lobby. You come to a stop in front of him, the front of your shoes narrowly touching his.

“What are you doing?”

“I came here to find you. We need to talk.”

“That’s rich coming from the guy who stormed out before we got the chance to talk.”

The security guard behind the counter looks on curiously, wondering if he should intervene. Donghyuck closes his eyes to compose himself. “I am sorry.”

“Thank you.” You said and then turned your back on him, strutting towards the lift.

You can hear Donghyuck scrambling and you smile to yourself. “Wait!”

The security guard reaches you first, putting distance between you and Donghyuck. “Ms Y/L/N, is this man harassing you?”

“Ha– Harass?” Donghyuck sputtered out as if he couldn't even fathom the idea of him causing trouble. “No, I am not a harasser!”

The security guard throws a cold look at his direction and Donghyuck shrinks slightly. The lift arrives and you make your decision.

“Come with me Donghyuck. This is your only chance.” You announce. The security guard seemed reluctant to let Donghyuck near you but you gently assure him, thanking him for his service. The ride up is silent much to your surprise. You walk ahead of Donghyuck and he trails behind you, like a dog with his tail tucked behind his legs.

It feels oddly natural to have Donghyuck follow you into your apartment. He lined his shoes beside your shoe rack in a neat manner and you passed him a clean pair of house slippers to put on. As you make your way into your apartment, Donghyuck marvels quietly at the decorations on display. Upon entering your living room, you hear the unmistakable sound of the camera going off and you stop to turn around. He looks guilty but he clutches his phone tightly.

“What did you do?” You try to intimidate him.

“Just getting some inspiration.” He lies.

You take a step closer to Donghyuck, an attempt at asserting dominance. “This is your first and last time here. Now, spit out whatever it is that brought you here in the first place.”

Donghyuck pockets his phone. “Here’s the deal. I can’t marry someone who hates me.”

“I am lukewarm about you, at most.” You deadpanned.

He gives you an unimpressed look. “There’s no way you don’t hate me. Are you sure you haven’t submitted my name to an Etsy witch?”

“My life stopped revolving around you for a long time now. You’re good.” The tips of Donghyuck’s ears redden at the implication of your words but you maintain your nonchalant stance. “This marriage would be good for my family and if you really detest it then take it up with your parents, not me.”

Donghyuck frowns. “Did you plant the idea in my parents head?” His tone is accusatory which causes you to snort mockingly.

“I haven’t spoken to your parents in ages. Find someone else to blame your misery on.”

It’s written on his face, the way Donghyuck doesn’t seem satisfied with his findings. He sighs heavily and his shoulders sink into his figure. A tired man remains standing in his place and you almost feel sympathetic for him. Almost, if not for the fact that he has been trying to pin the blame for your shared situation entirely on you.

You gently comb your hair back with your hands as you speak up, “I am not going to beg for you to marry me but just know that I will not fight against anything. Not marrying you is a bigger loss to me. I hope you know where I stand.”

Donghyuck meets your gaze, an unreadable expression in his eyes. “Is it really that easy?” He asks. His question surprises you but you try your best to conceal your shock.

“Yes.” The air in the room shifts and it was at that moment you knew that you could only keep up with the act of lying to yourself for a little longer. Impending doom lingers in the air but you ignore it and usher Donghyuck out of your life, for now.

The days leading up to your engagement ceremony was emotionally bearable but the day itself was bad enough to dampen your spirits. Your engagement was a quiet affair, as if your relationship was meant to be kept under wraps from the public eye. Whether it was up to Donghyuck or his parents, you don’t know but it didn’t matter because your own feelings were never considered in the first place.

It’s an odd experience to finally get engaged to Donghyuck. His best friends keep a polite distance from you, looking at you as if you were some stranger barging into their lives and not Donghyuck’s childhood best friend. Your own family were scattered in the hall based on a seating chart created by your future mother in-law. At least from your seat, you could easily see Yizhou and Sungchan three tables away from yours. You stuck out your tongue playfully to silently express your gratitude.

Your father had prepared a speech, bringing you to tears and the crowd cooed at you, warmed by your reaction. Much to your surprise, Donghyuck gets up from the seat beside yours and takes the microphone from your father. The room quietens and the attention shifts onto your fiancé, yours included.

“Thank you everyone for coming tonight. Thank you to my father and future father in-law for the speeches,” he pauses with a light laugh. His gaze sweeps around the room as he resumes his speech, “I am glad to share this momentous occasion with all of our loved ones. As much as I want to keep it brief for everyone, I also want to make it memorable for Y/N. I don’t know where our future will take us but I am willing to build a forever with you.”

Your face burns as the whole room looks at you again. You stare ahead at Donghyuck, a strong mix of emotions riding in your chest nearly breaking your composure. Knowing that everyone was waiting for your reaction, you settled on blowing Donghyuck a kiss. The room bursts into cheers when Donghyuck catches it.

The dinner carries on smoothly but there is an unspoken tension stringing between the supposedly happy couple. Your moves were controlled and you kept your physical touches to a minimum. It took every ounce of effort to not tug harshly on Donghyuck’s arm when you slid your hand into his. Your fingers were loosely wrapped around his arm, barely clinging onto the fabric of his suit. The facade you had on cracked as soon as you stepped into his car.

The engine revs to life and your seat belt clicks into place. “Why’d you do that?” You accuse him.

Donghyuck furrows his brows. “What?”

You match his annoyance. “You heard me.”

He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “My parents told me to make a speech.”

“And you dedicated it to me?”

“Why are you mad at me? I thought this was what you wanted? I thought you wanted to marry me?”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “I do but why are you starting our marriage with empty promises! Building a forever with me? If you wanted to lie and perform you should have just gone all the way and said ‘I love you’ to seal the deal.” You rolled your eyes.

He scoffs in retaliation. “Seriously? And what about you and your fake kiss?” It was a pointless bicker but Donghyuck’s anger still rose, causing him to heavily breathe out of his nose. His hand on the wheel tenses.

“Everyone was expecting something from me because of you.” You punctuate the end of the sentence, every word hitting him heavily.

A pause fills the space between you two, every ticking moment ringing loudly in your ear. Donghyuck says, “I don’t know what you want from me.”

The engagement band on Donghyuck’s finger glimmers as the streetlights pass through the car windows. The overwhelming feelings from before return and your stomach clenches. Your voice weakens. “I want you to be real in our marriage.”

The car falls silent again and the only sound comes from the traffic outside. You don’t know if Donghyuck had heard you and you’re too prideful to repeat yourself so you remain silent, waiting for him. The car slows to a stop in front of a red light and Donghyuck’s breathing evens out.

“Tell me nicely next time instead of starting a fight, will you?” Your heart jolts at his unexpected reaction. “We could start by setting some boundaries. I was serious about my speech, Y/N. Let’s not make this any more difficult.”

His kept his voice was low and firm. The soft thrum of the engine keeps you calm as you process Donghyuck’s words. It sounds like he’s compromising with you based on the circumstances of your situation. They seem sincere enough for you to believe even though it’s unexpected of him. When Donghyuck drives into your apartment, you gather up your senses to apologise.

“I am sorry,” you loudly confess. Your eyes are cast downwards. The engagement band on your own finger is too hard to ignore at a time like this. “If you have time, you can come up and we can discuss such boundaries.” Your voice trails off at the end.

“I can’t.” Your gaze snaps towards his face, a small frown on display. “Not today but maybe tomorrow.”

“Okay.” You nod but remain seated in place. Now that it was time to leave, you find yourself wanting to stay with him longer. All fight has left you and the newfound peace is inviting as ever. You don’t know if you’ll be able to maintain it with him.

“Y/N,” Donghyuck says before he’s leaning in across the console, his lips lightly brushing against your cheek. You go completely still. “Text me when you’re in your apartment.”

You blindly reach for the door, seatbelt still strapped in and you can see Donghyuck giggling at you from your peripheral view. You glare at him and unbuckle yourself, tearing the passenger door opening and jumping out of the car. Donghyuck has the cheek to unwind the window, revealing a self-satisfied grin on his face.

“I’m leaving. See you tomorrow I think,” you announce as you spin on your heel and the echoes of Donghyuck’s laughter ring from behind you.

When you’re kicking your shoes off, you unzip your bag to take your phone out. You click on your chat with Donghyuck and send a simple thumbs up emoji. The message receipt changes immediately but you don’t get a response. Donghyuck clearly is still a menace who enjoys teasing you. You lock your phone and go about your night, ignoring the way your heart seems to race at the thought of your fiancé.

You hadn’t planned far enough.

While you knew you were getting married to Donghyuck, you still hadn’t made up your mind on whether you should fall in love with him again or protect your own heart. There’s a constant war of push and pull within you and you are not ready to let your pride down. Whenever you find yourself feeling the tiny bit giddy about Donghyuck, you immediately reel yourself in and remind yourself that your marriage will be built on camaraderie, not romance. Boundaries, rules, protocols. These were not norms of a couple romantically involved.

A soft knock on your workspace door interrupts your flow of thoughts and you look up to find Donghyuck sticking his head through the door. You slightly close your laptop to give him your attention.

“Wanna eat?” Donghyuck simply asks, holding a lunchbox above his head.

You quickly tidy up your work desk and Donghyuck makes himself comfortable, singing under his breath as he unpacks the contents of his lunchbox. You catch the melody of his favourite song. It sounds sweeter when he’s singing it.

The table is filled with comforting side dishes and your mouth waters at the sight of it. He saves the final box, pushing it towards the centre and cheekily glances over at you. “Hope you’re hungry because this is going to blow your mind.”

What Donghyuck doesn’t know is that you have been eating less than usual in the past week. You could barely count a banana and multiple cups of coffee as a meal but it was enough to keep you powered through your reports. Your stomach grumbles loudly, the savoury scent of chilli oil and chicken broth infiltrating your senses. Donghyuck had made steamed dumplings.

“Tada! The viral lasagne dumplings. All for you.”

“For me?”

“Yeah. I ate the first batch at home. It was too good to pass on.”

You quietly raised your brows as you picked up a clean set of chopsticks. He’s watching you intently, hands tucked under his chin and his elbows are resting on the table. You ignore him and focus on the food.

“Is it good?” He asks. You’re frowning as you chew. Looks like you found another unfair quality Donghyuck upholds, his ability to cook.

Your frown deepens. “This is amazing.”

Donghyuck laughs. His glasses slip from the bridge of his nose as he throws his head back. “You look so angry but you’re actually happy with my cooking.”

“This is my happy face,” you tell him.

“Right,” he shakes his head fondly and pushes the side dishes closer to you. “Eat up.”

You had thought your meal would be filled with endless chatter from Donghyuck’s end but a phone call suddenly takes over his attention. He stands at the edge of the table, phone in hand as his body leans against the table for support. You sit through your meal taking peeks at him and scrolling on your phone, catching familiar words but not fully grasping the situation. Your name is mentioned a few times followed by some hush remarks.

“Can’t you and Jeno lead the meeting? What do you even need me there for?” A tight expression draws upon your fiancé’s face. His eyes meet yours and you see a flash of anger in it. You quickly cast your eyes downwards and feign ignorance. “I’ll see you in twenty.”

The room is expectantly silent and you break it by sending him away. “Go. Whatever it is, it needs your attention.”

You’re not looking at him. You keep yourself busy by cleaning up the table. Donghyuck exhales. “I’ll see you around.”

Your will is stronger than expected. As he takes his leave, you make sure not to look at him. Donghyuck’s grip on the door falters and you don’t even notice. The door falls shut and tension in your body releases. You could hardly comprehend what had transpired between the two of you but you knew better than to let Donghyuck in. It’s clear that you will not be a priority to him and you will treat him the same.

As soon as the investors left the table, Donghyuck slumped into the seat. Chenle glared at him. All the niceness at the table had dissipated along with their investors.

“We almost didn’t close the deal because you’re distracted.” Chenle coldly remarked.

Donghyuck cocks his head. “You got what you wanted. Why complain?”

Jeno shakes his head. “We know you have a lot of things going on at home but Donghyuck, we need your one hundred percent commitment. Not unless you want this endeavour of ours to fall apart.”

Donghyuck takes a swig of his drink. The burn of the alcohol smoothly slides down his throat. Chenle challenges, “Are you done playing house?”

“Chenle,” Jeno says warningly.

“You’re letting Y/N cloud your priorities. Leaving work early just to see her? Hanging around a college campus to see her? Trying to ditch an investor’s meeting? Dude, it’s an arranged marriage. Why are you trying so hard? Stop wasting time–”

“I’ll have to stop you right there. You guys don’t know the full story because I choose to keep some information to myself.” Donghyuck straightens up and leans forward, maintaining a steady gaze on his friend’s faces. “Talk shit about me all you want but not my marriage and definitely not Y/N. I don’t care how unhappy you are with me. That is not an excuse.”

Chenle dryly scoffs. “Sure. Fine. I’m sorry for that.”

“Thank you.” Donghyuck nods. His shoulders drop and he offers them a small smile. “I’ll try to be more proactive. Just bear with me a little. Y/N’s important to me.”

Chenle and Jeno share a silent look, Jeno wordlessly urging the younger to tone down his anger towards Donghyuck with a raise of a brow. Chenle sighs and waves a hand in the air. “You get one more chance to talk about Y/N for tonight and that will be the last!”

Donghyuck’s face splits into a wide smile as he leans forward. “Have I told you guys about the time when we went on a holiday to her family’s ski lodge?”

The past few years for Donghyuck had been a blur. While you went on to make a future for yourself, Donghyuck had found himself stuck in the past.

By the time he tried to put a name on his feelings, time had passed and the distance between you two had grown wider than before. He did not know how to cross it, if you would even let him shorten the gap just for him to offer up an apology. Ignoring your existence was easier than reaching out to you.

When his parents had hinted that they were arranging a marriage for him, he wasn’t all too happy but he conceded with their decision. His life was never his to begin with even though his heart longed for yours.

Maybe Donghyuck was naive or maybe he didn’t want to accept the truth when you walked into the room. He let his polished persona take over to distract himself from his impending panic. You hated him. You wouldn’t even look him in the eye and Donghyuck can’t blame you. After all, he had inflicted hurt upon you. Donghyuck can tell from the hardened gaze you throw his way and your closed off body language that you wanted nothing more than to run off from the dinner meeting.

The pretense of the meeting had unveiled itself. Ultimately, his father uttered the words that would trigger his fight or flight instincts. Donghyuck stupidly fled the scene. Tears clouded his visions as he fumbled with the car handle. The girl who had once loved him, the same girl who got hurt by his avoidant nature is now betrothed to him. What a horrible twist of fate.

Donghyuck took a strangled breath in and collected his emotions, at least enough for him to drive to Mark. Aside from Yizhou and Sungchan, Mark was the only other person who knew of the tragic end of your friendship. His hands are shaking but he manages to connect Mark to his car speakers.

“Mark hyung,” Donghyuck rasps out.

“Yo, shit?” Mark immediately replies. “What’s wrong?”

Donghyuck restlessly drums his fingers against the steering wheel. “Are you home?”

“Yeah.” He presses harder on the pedal. “I’m coming over.”

Mark wordlessly led a tear-stricken Donghyuck into his living room. He came back with a mug of warm water but it remained untouched by Donghyuck. Mark sits upright in his own chair, observing his best friend. “What happened?”

Donghyuck opens his mouth to try and speak but the words don’t come out. His tongue darts out as he sighs heavily. “I’m getting married to Y/N.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t deserve her. I never did. I never will. I am total fuck up.”

Mark frowns. “Wait. This whole time your parents were set on getting you two together?”

“Turns out the future partner they were looking for me had always been there. Y/N.” Donghyuck laughs dryly at the circumstances of his life. He threads his fingers through his hair, channeling his frustration into messing his hair. “I’m so afraid that she’ll resent me even more. I realised my feelings for her too late. I did not even try to understand my feelings. I did not want to fall into the expectations surrounding us. I thought I could choose my own destiny but our fates were always going to be entangled. I was too foolish to grasp that.”

Mark stays silent as he allows Donghyuck’s words to sink in. He tilts his head thoughtfully. “Did Y/N say outright that she hates you?”

“No.”

“Then why are you adamant that Y/N hates you?”

“I see it in her eyes.” Donghyuck firmly says. “We have spent so much time apart in our formative years. We are basically different people now. I feel so inadequate to be her lifelong companion. People don’t get it. She doesn’t get it.”

Mark, ever so earnest, grows frustrated with his best friend’s stubbornness. “To be frank, I don’t get why you’re having an inferiority complex over Y/N. You are doing great things at your father’s company and your own independent business as well. The name you are building for yourself is remarkable. What more could impress Y/N?”

Donghyuck throws a hand in the air. “Maybe an emotionally intelligent guy who doesn’t suppress his emotions.”

“Then be that man!” Mark urges him. He stands up and walks over to Donghyuck. “Go and initiate things with her. Make things better between you two. Let it start with you.”

“You really think I can do that?” Donghyuck asks him in a small voice.

Mark grins encouragingly. “Sitting around here and moping about the girl you love is not enough. Go chase after her.”

Donghyuck feels his heart thudding in his chest, a surge of hope coasting through his body. “Well, maybe not today. I am kinda burnt out from this rollercoaster of emotions.” He says lightheartedly.

And so he tries because in spite of your strong demeanour, he can feel the gap between you two bridging slowly. You entertained his small talks with wordless gestures such as a quirk of your lip or twitch of an eye. You sent him an emoji every time you made it home after a meeting with him and his parents. And ever since the engagement ceremony, your dynamics have settled into a comfortable pace, similar to a partnership between two business partners.

Your boundaries had been laid out for him and Donghyuck feels hopeful about your marriage. He hadn’t realised how much his friends disapprove of your presence in his life until that dinner experience. If only everyone knew how Donghyuck treats you with utmost care because he wants to make it up to you for hurting you all those years ago. It wasn’t just him that was holding onto that memory. Donghyuck can still recall the curt smile Sungchan gave him at the engagement ceremony, obviously still holding a grudge against him.

The indifference you show him is subtle to others but Donghyuck can read you even after all those years apart. You barely show any reaction to his quips and your facial features are controlled to reveal just a fraction of emotions. He silently cusses Jeno and Chenle out for causing the setback in his progress.

You two are having dinner at the Lee’s estate. You’re seated on his left hand side, ever so poised and mannered. You only muttered one word replies to Donghyuck since he picked you up from your apartment. His mother leads the conversation and Donghyuck is grateful for that.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but your friends are Jung Sungchan and Ning Yizhou?” She suddenly asks.

You nod your head as confirmation. “Yes, why? Is there anything wrong?”

Mrs Lee laughs cordially. “Nothing wrong. It’s just that for a while, before we approached your parents about your marriage, we were all under the impression that you were being courted by Jung Sungchan.”

Donghyuck tenses. He remembers his mother prodding him about you and Sungchan and he mindlessly waved her off. It was pretty known that you two were close friends and it was natural for speculation to arise. He himself had believed in them at one point.

You nearly choke on your bite of food. Donghyuck panics and passes you your glass of water which you graciously accepted. “No. Not once have we ever been involved. I can assure you,” you say after collecting yourself.

“It’s not me you have to assure,” Mrs Lee finishes off with a hearty laugh.

Donghyuck doesn’t miss the crack in your composure, the side glance casted in his direction as he stares at the interesting patterns on the ceramic plate.

His parents retire to their room and only the two of you remain. You finish the last of your dessert, gracefully dabbing your napkin on your lips. Donghyuck had been unexpectedly silent. He barely looked at you for the rest of the night. The elephant needed to be addressed. “You were worried about me and Sungchan?” You causally questioned him.

Donghyuck shyly raises his gaze to meet yours. “No.”

“No?” You echoed.

His eyes draw away from yours as he replies, “I mean, my mother was asking about you. I just told her what I thought– what everyone thought.”

“Which was?”

He looks at you almost pleadingly but you remain firm, wanting to hear him admit it out loud. Donghyuck concedes in a small voice. “You and Sungchan? Everyone thought you were involved.”

“And you were worried.” You reminded him, your tone was steadier compared to his.

“I– I was not. Intrigued? Maybe.” He stuttered out.

Clearly you were unconvinced. You smirk at his flustered expression, leaning comfortably into your seat. It was a sight to see Donghyuck embarrassed but the humour only lasted briefly. “Just so you know, nothing happened between me and him. Nothing will happen in the future. We’re bound to each other now.” You tell him, hoping you sound as sincere as possible.

He doesn’t give you a verbal answer but you can tell from his body language that he’s partly relieved. Donghyuck still looks at you with a heavy gaze, as if he’s thinking deeply about you while you’re seated inches away from him. You raise a brow at him, the most expression you’ve given him lately. He’s so transparent. You can see it on his face when he loses his internal battle.

“Y/N, do you remember those questions you asked me on my birthday?” Donghyuck quietly asks. Maybe it was meant to be a rhetorical question but the shift in mood made it hard for you to believe so. You nod stiffly. “I found the answer for it. I won’t tell you now but one day, I will.” His shoulders are squared like a soldier who’s ready to walk into battle. Suddenly, the gravity of his words hit you.

A promise? Your brows furrowed as you tried to make sense of his words. If you were understanding his vague statement, it would mean that Donghyuck had figured out what you meant to him. It sounds terrifying and you are slightly grateful that Donghyuck was willing to delay the conversation a little longer.

Even tossing and turning in bed didn’t help soothe your anxiety. You itched to ask him outright and revisit the conversation from that night but it is still too emotionally taxing for you to revisit it.

Instead, you let yourself focus on wedding planning. You frequently met up with your mother, future mother in law, fiancé and the wedding planner. It took up a good chunk of your attention which managed to keep your sanity at bay. You give a lot of input considering the fact that it’s the only time you’ll ever be wedded in this lifetime. You even managed to negotiate with the elders to find a bridal dressmaker of your choice. Slowly, your dream wedding came to life. You had the groom you had always wanted even though the circumstances were not ideal.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Yizhou eyed you warily.

The two of you were seated on the patio of a café, lined along the alleyway of hipster buildings. Yizhou was back in Seoul for business and you had barely managed to squeeze in a meet up with her. You caught her up with your stale love life and now she’s staring at you with apprehension.

You nod sagely. “I’ve accepted the truth long ago.”

“Do you still love him?”

You hum thoughtfully, carefully picking your words. “It’s hard to say honestly. He meant the world to me. I think Donghyuck will always leave a deep mark on me. As long as nothing romantic happens between us, I’ll be fine. My feelings for him will remain dormant.” His promise crosses your mind as you speak but you decided to ignore it, resolute in your own words and beliefs.

“But you’ll be married forever. How can you be so sure nothing changes between the two of you?” Yizhou had a valid point and you didn’t have a proper answer for it.

You offer her a shrug and a half-hearted grin. “I guess I’ll have to cross that bridge if I ever get there.”

Wedding planning has been going well. You were set to marry a week after your last submissions, a terribly packed period for you but one that worked in favour for both parties. It was right before the fourth quarter of the year which gave you a chance to be introduced as a wedded couple during year end celebrations.

You had been cooped up with your assignments all week long but your appearance was needed for the venue viewing. The grease in your hair had built up over time and you dragged yourself to the shower, indulging yourself to a relaxing hair wash. The most put together outfit you have worn this whole week was a stained sweatpants and a tattered concert tee.

You had just stepped out of the shower when your phone buzzed with a message from Donghyuck, notifying you of his arrival. You grimaced and you plucked your phone from your nightstand. You immediately called him.

“Y/N?”

“Hey, I need you to park. I just got out of the shower.”

Donghyuck feels his mouth go dry. “Hmm?”

“Just park by the side and tell the guards that you’re coming up.” You tell him as you stand in front of your closet, eyeing your options with your phone lazily positioned close to your face. Donghyuck has yet to disconnect the call and you can hear him making his way to you, a soothing constant sound you needed to fill your room.

The tale-tell sound of the lift lobby resounds through your phone. “I’m entering the lift,” Donghyuck mutters.

You grab a long sleeved dress and hurriedly pull it over your body. You still have to dry your hair and do your makeup. You were plugging in your hair dryer when Donghyuck spoke up again. “Hey, I’m outside your door.”

You rattled off your code without a second thought. From your room, you could hear the door being unlocked and his successful attempt to let himself in. “Y/N?” Donghyuck called out.

“In here!” You replied, knowing that you had left your door ajar.

Your heart thrums with anticipation but you keep yourself focused on your task at hand. A soft knock on the door followed by Donghyuck sticking his head through the door. It’s quite the sight and you find yourself staring at him through the mirror. You turn the hair dryer off.

“Come in,” you invited him.

He freezes for a second and you nodded encouragingly, coaxing him into entering your room. “I need ten more minutes.”

Donghyuck glances at his wrist. You guys would inevitably be late but Donghyuck doesn’t mind the wrath his mother might incur on him. “That’s okay,” he says as he stands in a random spot by the door. You can see the clear restraint on his face which makes you laugh.

You turn in your seat, looking him in the eyes. “You don’t have to stand there. You can sit on my bed or look around my room.”

Donghyuck pointed towards the bed for confirmation and you nodded. While you are occupied with your hair and makeup, Donghyuck sits on the edge of your bed, simply taking in the details of your room. Your bookshelf is filled with books of all kinds of genres. He squints at a dark red box by the shelf above your bed frame. It sits underneath a stack of DVDs, titles of albums he doesn’t recognise. There’s several other memorabilia like a figurine or a photo frame on the shelf. It’s soothing to be in your space and having your presence nearby. He can imagine it, a near future where he’s all moved in, sharing mundane moments with you. He wants it all.

“Okay, I’m done.” You announce, snapping Donghyuck out of his reverie. You finally get a proper look at Donghyuck and realise how your outfit complements his. There’s something dizzying about the way Donghyuck stared at you. You subconsciously fix your hair.

“Wow,” he mumbled.

Not wanting to be swayed by Donghyuck’s reaction, you choose to glare at him. “We’re late! Let’s go.”

He giggles, knowing that your glare has no real heat to it. You break out into a matching smile having given up on being serious. “Come on.”

Donghyuck was in a good mood. His phone was ringing with incoming messages from his mother and a call quickly came along. He gestured at you to pick it up, knowing that if his mother heard your voice, she would be kinder.

“Lee Donghyuck, where are you? Did you know we’re running twenty minutes behind schedule?”

You cringed but worked up the courage to answer. “Hey Mrs Lee, it’s Y/N. Donghyuck is driving.”

“Oh! Y/N,” Mrs Lee perks up. She laughs offhandedly, “My Donghyuck is a troublemaker. Are you okay?”

“Actually, I was the one who was running late. I am sorry but we’re nearby. I promise! I think we’re five minutes away?”

You glance over at Donghyuck for help and he chuckles, leaning over to speak into the microphone. “We’re ten minutes away. Just calm down and sip some wine.”

“Yah, Donghyuck.” Mrs Lee starts and your eyes widens, panic creeping in.

Donghyuck mouths, “Hang up. Now.”

You do as you are told and the car lapses into silence for a brief moment. You were the first one to burst into laughter, crouching forward in your seat, eyes tightly closed as all you can think of was Donghyuck feeding into your future mother-in-law's anger.

“What?” Donghyuck asks, a lilt to his voice. He has not seen you unpoised in so long. Your bright laughter and relaxed posture is rare to him.

“Nothing,” you finally say as you straighten yourself out. You shake your head almost fondly. “Nothing really.”

Your smile remains on your face which betrays your attempt at being composed. Donghyuck sneaks a glance over to admire the sincerity of the moment and he decides to stay silent, afraid of disturbing your newfound glee.

By the time you two arrived at the venue, you had already calmed down enough. There’s the remnants of your smile on your face and only Donghyuck knows the details behind it. The thought sends a thrill up his spine.

Maybe your joy was infectious enough for his mother’s bad mood to disappear or perhaps Mrs Lee was relieved to see her future daughter-in-law finally feeling settled in the arrangement. Whatever annoyance Mrs Lee harboured disappeared when she happened to witness the way you and Donghyuck looked at each other. The mirth in both of your faces was similar to your childhood memories. She pulls the wedding planner to her side, happy to give the engaged couple some privacy.

The phone call comes while Donghyuck wraps up his report. Your name flashes on the screen and he jumps for his phone, waits for a second and then answers the call.

“Hyuck,” you drawled into the phone. The background of the call is loud but Donghyuck is more distracted by the old nickname.

“Y/N?”

“Everyone’s teasing me. They want you here.”

“They? What about you? Do you want me to come?” He asks even though he’s already digging through his pocket for his car keys.

You gasped dramatically. “You can’t ask that!”

An overlap of voices cut through the call and Donghyuck can vaguely hear you scolding your friends. You cuss them out before returning to the call.

“Sorry, my faculty mates are so nosy.” Your voice is clearer now, like you had stepped out to talk to him.

Donghyuck stands by his car. “Should I come over?”

“Yeah,” you replied quietly. “I want you here.”

“Share your location with me?”

He finds you seated alone in the outdoor seating of the bar. “Y/N!” Donghyuck calls out as he gets out of his car. You spot him, waving enthusiastically at him from the other side of the road.

He jogs over to you. “Why are you out here alone?”

You tilt your head to the side, not quite understanding the worried undertone of his voice. “I was waiting for you.”

Donghyuck steels himself to remain firm with you. A pout had formed on your lips. You’re irresistibly cute when you’re drunk, even now as an adult. He softens his tone, “Thank you for waiting out here but I don’t think it's safe that you’re out here alone. Maybe next time ask a friend to keep you company, ‘kay?”

“Okay,” you mumbled.

You remember your friends teasing you relentlessly about Donghyuck and your eyes widened at the memory. “Wait.” You grab his hands, pulling him and he stumbles into your space. “Everyone thinks you’re my secret partner. They think we’re madly in love with each other. My classmates, they don’t know what we know.”

Donghyuck blinks as he processes your words. He nods slowly. “That’s what I’m here for, right?”

You distractedly play with his hands, pressing your own palms against his. It’s warm to the touch. Your smooth slender fingers splayed over his thick roughened fingers. “Last time we held hands like this, we were still kids,” you offhandedly remarked.

“Y/N…” Donghyuck’s pained tone urges you to look up. “What do you want to do?” His voice is quiet but his plea is loud enough for you to hear.

The corners of your mouth twists with contemplation. Deep within you, the last walls that contained your affection for your fiancé, have cracked open. There’s too many thoughts running through your head and you’re not sober enough to confront them. It hurts to pretend you don’t notice the expectant look on Donghyuck’s face but it’s better than acting rashly.

“Can we just go inside? I’ll introduce you to my friends.” Donghyuck concedes with a nod of his head. You laced your fingers with his in one hand and slowly let go of the other. Throwing on your best smile, you look over your shoulder and try to lift the mood. “You’re going to love this place. There’s a pool table I want to show you.”

Embarrassing doesn’t even cut it.

Maybe the Lee’s estate is a homeground of your embarrassing moments like this one, where you wake up in the guest room of their estate as a disheveled mess. You wake up sprawled across a pillow with the Lee’s family insignia on it, the cursive font in the significant family colour. The longer you squeeze your eyes shut, the more memories you manage to recover. Nursing a hangover at your future in-law’s house is a terrifying situation you have landed yourself in.

You look around the room and thankfully, your phone is on the nightstand, plugged into a power outlet. Donghyuck’s name sits at the top of the list of notifications. You quickly read it, thankful that Donghyuck texted you to call him when you had woken up.

You have a small window of time to freshen up before facing him. Standing in front of the sink, you study yourself. You look put together for a person who had a chaotic night out. Your makeup has been removed, your hair a little tangled from sleep and you’re wearing a comfortable pyjamas set. The Lee’s family insignia is subtly embroidered into the collar of the shirt.

You’re in the midst of brushing your teeth when a soft knock comes from outside. Just like before, Donghyuck cautiously peers into the room before letting himself in. You step out of the joint bathroom to lean against the frame of the door, uncaring that your toothbrush was still hanging from your mouth.

“You’re up earlier than expected,” Donghyuck muses. You give him a small glare and hold your hand up before disappearing into the bathroom to rinse your mouth.

He’s seated on the bed by the time you get back. “Are your parents home?”

Donghyuck raised a brow. “They left this morning for church and whatnot but they know you’re here. Nothing ever stays a secret in this house.”

Your eye twitches. What a horrific impression you have made of yourself. “Why didn’t you send me home? You know my code!” You practically yell.

He raises his voice back. “I tried to! Wha– Wait. You don’t remember?”

You’re stumped. Hadn’t you recalled everything that happened last night? “Remember what?” You carefully asked.

Donghyuck’s hesitant response could not prepare you for the truth. “You wanted to follow me home. That’s why we’re here.”

“Oh, fuck.”

A deep frown settles on your face. You can only remember getting into Donghyuck’s car, the rest of the ride was a blur. You can’t think of a reason why Donghyuck would lie to you which meant that you were the clingy person you vowed not to be.

If he were being honest, Donghyuck was scared of you. Would you be mad at him and push him away? After last night, Donghyuck only wants to hold you closer to him. He’s seen before how much hurt he can unravel. He can only hope that things turn out differently.

You lightly tug at your hair, stressed out by the turn of events. “I’m going home.”

“Let me drive you home.” Donghyuck stood up. You didn’t try to fight him. Instead, you walk around the room trying to find your clothes from the night before but it’s nowhere to be found.

“Where’s my clothes?” Donghyuck pads across the room and opens the wardrobe, revealing your outfit from last night. Your top and jeans were hanging separately in a tidy manner. You stood a few inches behind Donghyuck. “You did this?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry though, my helper did the difficult job of undressing you.” Donghyuck grabs your clothes and offers it to you.

You scoffed to hide your embarrassment. “Difficult?”

Donghyuck is uncharacteristically silent and when you look at him, you find that he’s red in the face. He’s definitely recalling something that you did last night. Probably something embarrassing and life ending information that makes you wonder if you even wanted to gain back those memories. You narrowed your eyes and let out a harrumph, making a show out of walking past him and heading off to the bathroom.

The staff greet you and Donghyuck each time you pass them, completely blowing any sense of discreetness you tried to uphold. At the very least, his parents were still out which helped you save your last strand of dignity.

The car ride is mostly silent save for the occasional sound from Donghyuck when he sings under his breath. Your favourite song comes on shuffle and Donghyuck turns the volume up. You look at him, having not expected him to remember such a specific detail about you. You had thought you were the only one who held on tightly to your shared past but Donghyuck’s natural reaction says otherwise.

You’re still deep in thought when Donghyuck reaches the entrance of your apartment. He waits quietly, knowing better than to interrupt you. He’s staring blankly ahead and wonders about the weight you’ve been carrying alone, if you’re ready to put it down.

“Hey, I’m not sure what I did last night but thanks for putting up with me.”

He turns to you and sees that you’re shyly tucking your hair before your ear, looking down at your lap instead of him. Donghyuck couldn’t help himself from saying, “Do you think you’re a burden to me?”

This causes you to look up, shock written across your face. “What? Where’s this coming from?”

“I don’t put up with you, Y/N.” His voice is soft but firm. “You’re going to be my wife. We both agreed to this. You are a priority in my life.” You nervously chew on your lower lip. Again, you’re not in a proper mindset to be having such a heavy conversation with him. Despite that, you’re still affected by Donghyuck’s confession, leaving your stomach fluttering.

Your mouth parts but nothing comes out. Donghyuck breaks out into a small smile, an underlying melancholy to it. “You don’t have to say anything. I needed you to know that, that’s all.”

It doesn’t seem right to leave wordlessly so you lean across the console, craning your neck to leave a peck on his cheek. “Thank you,” you whisper before pulling away. The wistfulness from the two of you was palpable and you weren’t completely relieved from it. The crack in your walls grows wider and you don’t know if you’re ready for them to fall.

In a room full of people, Donghyuck would rather be alone with you.

He’s at a party with his friends but he’s not participating. Donghyuck has chosen to stick to the walls to watch his friends shake hands with potential business partners.

“You look mad.” Jaemin siddles up to him, his usual charming smile on full display.

“You could say that.” Donghyuck nods in acknowledgement.

“You miss her,” he says to Donghyuck as a matter-of-factly. Donghyuck stares at him with suspicion. He has never confided in Jaemin regarding you and he knows Mark would never gossip about him. Jaemin snorts. “Chill. I can tell because you’re miserable and you can’t stop playing with your ring.”

Donghyuck instantly stops fidgeting, his finger resting against the cool metal of his engagement band instead. He was not fully aware of his own actions. How can it be that Jaemin had managed to see through him?

“I think it’s nice.” Jaemin adds offhandedly.

Donghyuck drops his hands to his sides. “What’s nice?”

“That you’ve found someone to cherish. To love.”

The way you pleaded with him while you were drunk plays like a constant loop in his mind. A glimpse of your younger self had shone through that night before your matured self took over, demanding that you be taken back to the Lee’s estate. Even in your drunken state you were able to outsmart him by claiming that it is your marital right to stay there. Donghyuck smiled fondly. “She’s always been there. I just had trouble seeing what was in front of me all along.’

“Can I ask what made you come to a realisation? I think the Donghyuck I knew never really cared about settling down.”

“I didn’t just hurt Y/N. I crushed her.” Donghyuck looked down, collecting his thoughts to put it into perspective. “It was scary to see her devastated because of me and I hadn’t realised that I had inflicted hurt onto her. I care for her so much to the point that I didn’t even understand it until she walked away from me.”

His face crumpled up without meaning to and Jaemin takes a good look at his friend. Anyone can see the remorse eating away at him. Jaemin lays a comforting hand over Donghyuck’s shoulder, squeezing it. “Give yourself a chance to be forgiven.”

And Jaemin was right. All the hesitation could not prolong any more.

The sky is bright and cloudy, the perfect weather to be out enjoying the sunshine with the presence of another but you’re cooped indoors. You should be at home, the deadline for your dissertation inching closer day by day but as of late, your time has been occupied by your wedding. The only consolation is Donghyuck being there with you.

You had your first meeting with the bridal atelier of your choice two months back and now you’re back for the try on. The flutes of champagne remain untouched. Your fingers thrum against your thigh, feeling restless as the tailors prepare the dressing room for you. Donghyuck wordlessly slips his hand over yours, grounding you to the present moment. You peek over at him and he’s already looking at you. There’s an unspoken devotion in his gaze. You wonder when he had started looking at you with stars in his eyes.

“Ms Y/L/N? We’re ready for you.” You jump away from Donghyuck, clearing your throat. You offer him a small smile and he nods.

You’re careful when you try on your wedding gown, still in great disbelief about the fact that your dream dress has come to life. The assistant showered you with praises as she zipped you up. You let out a gasp as you gaze at your reflection in the mirror.

“Absolutely gorgeous. He is a lucky man.” The assistant said from behind you, startling you out of your reverie. “I’ll give you a moment. Let us know if you need anything.”

You touch the fabric of your gown with reverence, thumbing the rich silky fabric elegantly draped across your figure. A smile finds its way onto your face and you set your shoulder back to meet Donghyuck.

Donghyuck looks up from his phone when he hears the curtains open. His jaw goes slack when he sees you stepping into the room. Your hair has been pulled into a messy updo, stray pieces of hair framing the sides of your face. You’re looking at him with hope and Donghyuck can see the rest of your lives playing out before his eyes.

He rises to his feet. “Wow. That doesn't even cut it.”

You fold your hands in front of you. “Hyuck,” the old nickname slips out of your mouth, “stop. Be honest. Is it alright?”

“Alright?” He gawks. “Y/N, you're drop dead gorgeous!” Donghyuck exclaims before collapsing into his seat. Your laughter carries through the room, filling it with light.

“Whatever you say, Hyuck.” You giggle.

“You don’t believe me! Come here.” He beckons as he walks over to you. Donghyuck meets you halfway to stand face to face with you. “I cannot wait until you say the words ‘I do’ and I become yours.”

You’re blushing furiously but you don’t want to run away from the moment. Taking a leap of faith, you reach out for his hands, guiding it to rest on your waist. His hands are splayed firmly against the bodice of the gown, pressing into your body as a constant reminder that you’re not dreaming.

“I don’t know what to say.” Your voice is quiet as you confess to him.

Donghyuck shakes his head gently, leaning downwards to be closer to your face. “Just say ‘I do’ when the time comes.” And in that moment, you felt the final crack in your chest, the once impenetrable walls that had protected you, crumbled upon the promise of a loving future. You simply cannot wait.

You’re staring at your ring, letting yourself get distracted by it. Your mother is talking your ear off about wedding preparations while the rest of the table waits for Donghyuck’s arrival. You have never thought you’d be praying for his presence to offer you respite from your mother’s overwhelming chatter.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” You shoot up in your seat at the sound of his voice. After a long day bent over your laptop, you needed to see a comforting face.

Donghyuck goes over to your parents first. A firm pat to his back from your dad and a tight hug from your mom. He flashes you a glimmering smile when he gets to you and you feel your face redden under his attention. You turn in your seat to greet him and Donghyuck bends to your level, leaving a peck on your cheeks in greeting. “Hey, sorry I’m late.”

You know your parents are watching but you still try to keep your voice low enough for Donghyuck’s ears only. “Better now that you’re here.”

His eyes flicker to your mouth and back to your eyes. “Yeah,” Donghyuck thoughtlessly replies.

Across the table, your father coughs and Donghyuck scrambles into the empty seat beside you. You avoid his eyes and keep your head ducked, allowing your father to lead tonight’s dinner.

“I was just talking about the wedding. We’re so close to the date.” Your mother beams.

Donghyuck casts a glance over his shoulder and notices your dampened mood. He takes a small sip of water. “There’s always so much to prepare and on top of it all, Y/N is working hard on her dissertation.”

Your father smiles softly as he speaks, “That’s right. How’s it going honey?”

“I’m almost done. If my upcoming consultation with my professor goes well, I might be able to turn in my paper sooner than expected.”

“That’s great news darling,” Your mother says as you share the good news with them. She continues, “I’ve been worried that school was going to delay everything.”

Your smile dims and your eyes flicker over to Donghyuck, wishing if he could disappear. You hate moments like these with your mother as she dismisses your hard work, giving you backhanded praise as she priorities her pride over your emotions. The closer the wedding gets, the more remarks your mother makes and she’s clearly stopped holding herself back around Donghyuck. Your face grows red in embarrassment and you feel yourself go mum.

Donghyuck shifts in his seat. He gives your mother a stiff smile as he says, “I would wait however long to marry Y/N. We are to be wedded for life. A brief delay means nothing to me if it’s to ensure Y/N’s happy.”

You see the whiplash your parents experience from Donghyuck’s assurance. Your brows are raised but you choose to remain silent, happy that someone else is protecting you for once. Donghyuck’s shoulders are squared and his eyes are full of unapologetic pride. He slides a hand to grab yours from under the table, offering you silent assurance.

“Glad to know that Y/N’s your priority. Let’s make sure to keep her happy.” Your father says in a rather diplomatic manner. He casts your mother a side glance and she nods along, keeping silent. Under the concealment of the table, you squeeze Donghyuck’s hands in appreciation, all while maintaining a casual expression in front of your parents.

Your dissertation was ready to be submitted earlier than scheduled but you didn’t want to tell your parents yet. Instead, you wanted to initiate a night out with your friends.

Or at least you were trying to. Yizhou was out of the country again and Sungchan was dealing with business outside of Seoul. Your clothes had been picked out. Your preferred club already in mind. All you needed was friends to go with. You scrolled through your contacts and realised the only other person you were comfortable calling up was your fiancé.

After contemplating your options, you caved in and called Donghyuck.

“Are you busy tonight?” You asked him, keeping your voice light. After all, it was a random weekday. He is a busy business man with plans stacked in his calendar.

“Not particularly. What’s up?” Not the answer you were hoping for. You had no choice but to bite the bullet and ask him out. “I was wondering if you’d go out with me tonight. I have good news and I want to celebrate.”

“Celebrate? Where?”

“The clubs.” You coughed into the phone. Donghyuck makes a sound of disbelief. You squeeze your eyes shut and plead with him, pulling out a desperate move. “Are you in or are you not?”

Donghyuck giggles and you know you have him onboard. Even when you were kids, your pleadings were persuasive enough for Donghyuck to give into you. “Should I meet you and your friends there?” He asks.

“Actually, none of my friends can make it tonight.” Your voice pitches to a loud tone as you try to play it off. “I want to go out though, so I called you.”

“Just a crazy idea that I’m throwing out here,” Donghyuck slowly says, already thinking about dragging his friends out of the comfort of their homes. “What if I invited my friends? You have never met them properly and this seems like a good time to introduce you.”

You think back to all the times you’ve had the opportunity to be in the same room as Donghyuck’s friends. Not once have they ever treated you in a friendly manner outside of the forced pleasantries that were expected of them. You can’t help but grimace. “No offence Hyuck but I think they hate me.”

“What! No!” Donghyuck says unconvincingly. You did not need to know that you had once been a topic of argument within his friend group. He rubs his temple, thinking of a solution. “Okay, Mark will be there and he is a great social lubricant.”

“Uh-huh.”

He senses the distrust in your voice and considers his options. “You trust me?”

“Yes.”

“Then trust me on this. I think it will go well or at least improve the coldness between you guys.”

“And whose fault is that?” You ask half jokingly.

“Mine. Sorry,” he replies in a small voice.

Your wedding was inching closer and meeting his friends would be an unavoidable experience in the long run. “That’s okay. Go ahead and invite them. I’ll give them a chance as long as they’re willing to do the same.”

Donghyuck grins, already cooking up ways to convince his friends for a night out. “I’ll see you soon.”

After pleading with Mark to help him be the voice of reason, Donghyuck manages to get all of his friends to agree to meet up. Renjun even offers to contact his close friend to get a couch reserved in a popular club. He instructs one of the family drivers to fetch you and you’re the last one to arrive. Donghyuck waves you over as he stands in a circle of his own, surrounded by familiar faces. From afar, they look rather intimidating and you have half the mind to turn around and run off but you steel your nerves, forcing yourself to get the meeting over and done with.

“Hi guys.” You offer them a small wave. You’re awkwardly standing alone and fortunately, Donghyuck slides up to you to wrap an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. The tension in your body slightly ebbs away. Jaemin gives you two a long stare and smiles wickedly wide. It’s slightly off-putting but you offer him a friendly smile despite your apprehension.

Mark clears his throat as he takes a step towards you. “Great to finally meet you.” Mark sticks a hand out and you firmly accept it.

A rather fashionable fellow who you recognised as Renjun comes up to you guys. He flashes you a charming smile. “Our table’s ready so let’s move inside and we can have a proper chat!”

“Table?”

“Oh, your man here has gone all out for you.” The rest of the group murmured in agreement which led you to look at Donghyuck for help. He merely shrugs, choosing to maintain indifference.

Renjun decides to pull you out of Donghyuck’s hold, guiding you to the very front of the group. “Just enjoy it. You should take his card and go crazy,” he leans in conspiratorially as he loops your arms together.

Behind you, Jeno snorts, making his presence known. You both exchange friendly smiles. “Hope you enjoy your time tonight, Y/N.”

Your group breeze through security with a flash of a smile from Renjun. It makes you wonder how well-known Donghyuck’s friends are. You have heard of the notorious wait list for this particular club which was bad enough to fizzle out your interest in coming down.

You are led to a table beside the dj booth. The expanse of the couch is much larger than expected. It could probably hold double the amount of people present at the moment. You stand by the sidelines. “Uh, are we expecting people?”

Everyone turns to look at Donghyuck who’s sporting a sheepish expression. “It was either this or we would have to stand at the tables. I’m not making you stand for the entire night.”

Your jaw dropped. Chenle hollers from where he’s seated. “Get a room, you love birds.”

With his eyes still trained on you, Donghyuck flips Chenle off. The table breaks out into snickers but you’re still hung up on the fact that Donghyuck had spent an incredible amount of money on you. “Are you mad?” He asks.

“No?” You shake your head. “I just– we could have gone elsewhere? I don’t know, I want to make your money’s worth.”

Donghyuck frowns. “You are worth every dollar I have.”

You blinked in surprise, not having expected Donghyuck to take the conversation to a personal level. You stepped forward to slip your arms around his, gently tugging him closer to you. “We’ll revisit this tomorrow,” you say before planting a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Thank you for being thoughtful.”

Donghyuck can feel his cheeks reddening and he’s glad that the lighting in the club makes it hard to see. You disappear from his side, welcoming the chaos with open arms as you approach the table. Donghyuck watches you as he silently nurses a drink in one hand. His eyes danced around your figure, the confidence radiating off you was magnetic and it felt like a treat to be in your presence. Donghyuck focused on the little things like the way your nose scrunches when the alcohol hits too strongly for your liking or the way your body folds, laughing gleefully at whatever stories his friends tell you. He barely notices the music or his friends sharing wordless looks throughout the night.

Jisung scoots down the couch to be next to Donghyuck, lightly knocking their knees together for his attention. Jisung offers his hyung a small smile before leaning in, “You should ask her to dance.”

“What?”

“You look like Jay waiting on Daisy,” Jisung giggles drunkenly, head thrown back as he leans back into the leather couch. “Just go up to her.” He says encouragingly.

At that moment, you look over your shoulders and lock eyes with Donghyuck, flashing him a shy smile. His heart stutters in his chest as he rushes to his feet to move towards you like a lovesick fool in a trance. Donghyuck downs his drink, setting it down as he passes the table before finally reaching you. You never once looked away from him. Mark’s chatter comes to a halt when he senses Donghyuck’s presence and he makes a silent escape, sensing the shift in the air.

To Donghyuck’s surprise, you beat him at making the first move. “Let’s dance!” You cheered.

You had slipped your hand into his and led him onto the dance floor. Donghyuck naturally stands close to your back but the crowd pushes him into you. While you seemed unaffected by the skin on skin contact with passing strangers, Donghyuck had a frown on his face that seemed to grow deeper whenever a stranger did a double take at you. It was as if you could feel the anger radiating from behind you. You manoeuvred your joint hands to your stomach, forcing Donghyuck to stay pressed against your back.

He barely registers the close contact that’s happening between you two when you stopped walking, seemingly satisfied with the spot you had chosen. You lean your head backwards to smile up at Donghyuck. It’s a little lopsided but still full of energy. He wants to kiss you. The moment is cut short when the music transitions to an upbeat tempo. Your back is facing Donghyuck again as you move to the beat, still holding onto his arm which leaves him no choice but to stay close to you.

The alcohol he’s consumed barely compares to the intoxicating feeling of having you in his arms, bare skin brushing against each other while fully immersed in the moment. It’s not the same feeling as when you two first danced as kids or during your birthday party. There’s an underlying current of tension that’s building between you two, one that’s growing tauter as the wedding day approaches.

Donghyuck leans forward, his mouth inches away from your ear. “You never told me what we’re celebrating tonight for?”

You suddenly spin to face him and Donghyuck tightens his hold on you. “I never told you?” He shakes his head, his lips curling upwards. Donghyuck is absolutely smitten by you. “I finished my dissertation early!”

“Y/N!” Donghyuck cheers as he embraces you. You squeezed him tightly, happy to share your achievement with someone who cared about your wellbeing. “I’m so proud of you.” He presses a chaste kiss to the side of your head. You don’t know if you were meant to hear it but you nuzzle your face in his shirt for a moment longer than necessary, allowing yourself to indulge in Donghyuck’s presence.

When it’s time to end the night, Donghyuck books a ride to your apartment. You’re slumped over his shoulder, a tired smile on your face but you’re still dazzling to Donghyuck. He gently touches your cheek. “Sleep,” he commands.

Your power nap was interrupted by a melodious voice, stirring you awake. You slide your hands into his while muttering farewell to the patient driver. Donghyuck follows from behind, enjoying the way you drag him around, leading him into your apartment. He watches you kick off your shoe on your own, holding onto the wall for support. After watching you fail, he decides to close the distance by kneeling in front of you, sliding the other shoe off your feet.

Your face burns and you dart your eyes away from him. “Thanks, Hyuck.”

You set a second pair of house slippers for him, staring at him expectantly. Donghyuck toes his shoes off at record time and slides into the house slippers. You offer him a satisfied grin and reclasp your hands with his. “Stay the night.”

Donghyuck’s eyes widened. “Sure? I’ll put you to bed.”

This earns a surprised laugh from you. “I don’t need your help!”

He shakes your joint hands, whining petulantly. “Let me win. I just wanted an excuse to take care of you.” You roll your eyes but the smile on your face never fades. Donghyuck knows he has won and he childishly celebrates with a hurrah.

You lightly tug his arm. “Take me to bed then.”

You’re happy that this time, you’re sober enough to be in the moment. You get the chance to admire the attention Donghyuck holds for you. The comforting feeling of seeing Donghyuck in your space helps you relax. He’s kneeling on your bed while he has you sitting cross legged in the middle, gently wiping away the makeup from your face. Every swipe from him is full of utmost care. You have never been gentle with yourself. It makes your heart flutter from such a simple gesture.

“That’s all of it,” Donghyuck says, his tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration.

“Thanks.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. You’re partly entranced by him but another part of you is distracted by your growing affection for him. It’s times like these you wished things were simpler between you two.

He pulls away first, giving you the chance to make your escape however you choose to linger by the entrance of your en suite bathroom. You stared at him expectantly. “Stay the night, yeah? I need to get you something clean to sleep in.”

“I’m sure I’ll make do with whatever.” He gestures to his outfit and you raise a brow, unconvinced.

“Wait here,” you instructed softly as you walked off to your guestroom.

You come back to see Donghyuck seated by the edge of your bed, his body angled towards the door as he anticipates your return. The corners of his eyes crinkle as he beams at the sight of you.

“Here.” You pass him a stack of clean clothes. He eyes it suspiciously, accepting it with a pout playing on his lips.

“This doesn’t belong to an ex boyfriend right?”

“No.” You snorted. “It belonged to Sungchan,” you offhandedly answered.

The look of surprise on Donghyuck’s face was priceless. His jaw tensed, torn between anger and shock while his eyes were openly showcasing his stirring emotions.

You laugh in his face. It was too good of an opportunity to tease him. “I’m kidding! Oh my god!” The stony expression on his face has yet to crack so you scoop his hand into yours, offering him assurance. “I swear on our lives, the shirt belongs to my dad. As for the pants, they were too big for me and I was too lazy to return them.”

Donghyuck squeezes your joint hands and the prior anger melts away. “Okay,” he mutters before bringing your hand to his mouth, pressing a light kiss to the back of it. His lips graze your skin and your body tingles from the heat. “Thank you.”

You gently pull your hand out of his hold, eager to put some space between you two. You press the clothes into his chest and spin on your heels, making a swift escape to the bathroom.

After an unnecessarily long time in the shower, you decided to bite the bullet and face Donghyuck. You thought you had steeled yourself enough but the sight of Donghyuck standing in the middle of your room has you jumping in surprise.

“Donghyuck!” You yelled, a hand pressed to your chest.

He looked equally surprised. “I’m sorry, I was just coming in to set a glass of water and painkillers.”

Your shoulders dropped and your eyes moved behind him, catching sight of your nightstand. True enough, Donghyuck had brought in a bottle of medicine and your favourite mug.

Donghyuck purses his lips, his eyes moving towards the door. “I’ll be in your guestroom if you need anything.”

“I’m fine.”

“You sure? If you need someone to hold your hair back while you’re bent over the toilet, just wake me up.” He teases, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

You rolled your eyes, stepping forward. “Get out,” you demanded but the ghost of your smile still remained.

Donghyuck holds his hands up in surrender. “Goodnight Y/N.”

You stayed rooted in your spot, offering him a small wave. “Goodnight Donghyuck.”

Silence enveloped your room and you didn’t mind it, knowing that Donghyuck was rooms away from you. You gingerly sat down by your bedside, gripping your mug as you tried to make sense of your heart. You were without a doubt, falling in love with Donghyuck all over again and you had no intention of ever stopping.

The morning of your wedding was a blur. You were first introduced to the beauty and styling team that you hired for the wedding. The day progresses quickly and the bridal room is open to visitors who file in and out like a constant stream, eager to bless you with their well wishes. A lot of small talk and hugs occurred and you could barely catch up.

Sungchan drops by to greet both you and Yizhou, the three of you enjoying a round of champagne and taking many pictures. Sungchan gives you a tight hug as he leaves.

Moments before you’re scheduled to walk down the aisle, you’re finally left alone. The silence that surrounds you weighs on your shoulders. Your eyes subconsciously drift to your ring finger, knowing that this is the last time it’ll be empty for the rest of your life. A mix of emotions cloud your mind. You reach for your bouquet when a loud knock resonates through the door, signaling that your time has arrived.

You loop your arms around your father’s as you walk to the back of the line. “Y/N,” your father softly muttered. He waits for you to look at him and you note the tears brimming around the corner of his eyes. “I hope I made the right choice. I hope he makes you happy.”

You clutch the bouquet of flowers closer to your chest. It was a bundle of sunflowers, hydrangeas and primroses, a mix comprising both of your favourite flowers. “You did.” You assured your father, confident of your answer.

The wedding march had begun and you quickly gave your father a peck on the cheek right before your veil was lifted over your face. Your cousin walks out first, joined by Jaemin. You watched from the end of the line as Yizhou accepted the arm Mark offered her. They reach the altar and finally, it was your turn to walk down the aisle.

Upon your first step, the piano notes shift into a different melody. Your eyes land on Donghyuck who has a small smile on his face. It comes as a genuine surprise to you once you register the melody of the song. Your heart thuds against your chest and you’re torn between breaking down into tears or leaping for joy. It is evident that Donghyuck hadn’t forgotten dancing with you at your birthday party all those years ago, the same song playing as you walk down the aisle towards him.

It’s a big cliche but you never stopped looking at Donghyuck. Not now, not when he’s openly staring back at you. There’s a matching secret grin that only you two understand. You can’t look away, you simply refuse to. Your father offers your hand to Donghyuck and he accepts it with so much tenderness, his fingers enveloping yours as he guides you to stand in front of him. You’re toe to toe, aligned with each other.

Time seems to move differently when you’re standing in front of Donghyuck, forced to look at him through a veil. There’s an undercurrent of want flowing not just in you, but Donghyuck as well. You try to soothe him by gently brushing your thumb against his palm.

Mark steps forward with the rings and you wet your mouth, eager not to mess up your exchange of vows.

“Do you, Lee Donghyuck, take Y/L/N Y/N as your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part.”

He looks you in the eye, certain as ever. “I do.” The ring slips onto your finger, cool to the touch which leaves goosebumps in its wake. The significance of the ring is setting in.

“And do you, Y/L/N Y/N, take Lee Donghyuck as your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part.”

You blindly reach for Donghyuck’s ring, too eager to complete the ceremony. Mark pushes the cushion into your hand and you pick up the ring. “I do,” you say as you slide the ring over Donghyuck’s ring finger. The ring sits perfectly below his knuckles. You squeeze his fingers tightly.

“By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Donghyuck tightly squeezes your hands before releasing them. He’s already reaching for your veil when the minister says, “You may kiss the bride.”

The church roused with applause and cheers as your veil was thrown over your head. Donghyuck sneaks his hand to the back of your neck, pressing against it as he leaned forward to capture your lips. Your eyes flutter shut, succumbing to your first kiss with Donghyuck. It’s a hard press to your lips. Nothing too indecent for a sacred occasion but heavier than the shy peck you had expected from him.

You pull away to rest your nose against the slope of his, unable to tame the smile on your face. No coherent thought could come out of your mouth as you gaze into Donghyuck’s eyes.

“Onto forever.” He says it loud enough for you to hear. You nodded and he moved his hand to wrap around your shoulders, pulling you in before you embarked on the mad dash down the aisle. One hand looped around Donghyuck’s neck and the other tightly clutching onto your bouquet, you couldn’t have imagined a better way to leave the church as a newly wedded couple.

It’s date night with your husband.

Three weeks have passed since the wedding and life has adjusted back to normal for everyone else. Meanwhile, you and Donghyuck were still balancing the newly wedded lifestyle. He had gone back to work and you were taking time to unwind from the stressful year that had passed.

Donghyuck had made a reservation for dinner and you had agreed to meet him there. You spend the whole day sitting in your jittery feelings, wildly anticipating seeing him.

Dinner was a lovely affair. You were sitting in a fancy restaurant, situated on the rooftop of an esteemed hotel. Conversation flowed between you two, from anecdotes of Donghyuck’s day at work to recounting the cherished memories of the wedding.

The hostess politely interrupts, carrying a plate of brownies topped with ice cream. “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. Here’s a complimentary cake from us. Congratulations and cheers to your future.”

The two of you eyed the plate, surprised to see a message written on it. Congrats to the love birds. You cover your face with your hands and Donghyuck laughs in disbelief. “This is crazy,” you said.

“No one taught us how to maximise our marriage.”

You slowly pulled your hands away and discovered that Donghyuck had been recording you the whole time. Shit. “Hyuck!”

“What?” He asks, chuckling from behind his phone.

You rolled your eyes. “Oh my god. Delete that.”

“Why? You look gorgeous.”

You frown at him but it fails to make an impact on Donghyuck. He takes one last picture of you before putting his phone away. “I wanted pictures to remember this by.” Donghyuck confesses as he takes a sip of his drink.

Your features softened and you were no longer annoyed by him. Taking a clean spoon, you cut into the brownie, scooping a big portion and lifting it to Donghyuck’s face. “Here.” You offered.

He looks from the spoon to your face, face heating up from the attention you were giving him. Donghyuck cranes his neck forward and accepts the offer, taking a bite from the spoon.

“Is it good?” You asked. Donghyuck hopes he doesn’t have any bit of chocolate smudge on his lips as he nodded wordlessly.

He hadn’t expected you to use the same spoon, licking at the remnants of chocolate before diving into the brownie to get a taste for yourself. Donghyuck grows slightly dazed, knowing how unaffected you are by the intimacy. His mouth grows dry at the thought of your lips. It has been three weeks without your kiss after all. He knows he’ll have to keep waiting for a chance to kiss you again.

You lightly nudge him out of his trance, your foot hitting him under the table. Donghyuck looks downward then at your face. You offer him a cheeky smile and he’s back with you, pushing aside any distractions.

It’s a beautiful night and the sky is clear enough to gaze at. You suggest going for a drive near the Han River. It was a refreshing experience for you. You and Donghyuck never had the chance to hang out casually, having missed each other throughout your adolescent years and your early twenties. Now, as husband and wife, you two have the chance to bask in the silence together.

You shiver slightly as the wind blows, your hair falling over your face. A jacket is suddenly draped over your shoulders and you gripped the fabric tightly. “Are you sure?”

“I have to take care of my wife.” You can’t deny that his intentions made you feel warm all over. You accepted his offer without much fight and slid your hands into his jacket, engulfed by Donghyuck’s lingering warmth. You could even smell the remnants of his cologne when you lean closer into the jacket.

Another lapse of comfortable silence passes when you felt a drop of water on the top of your head. You turn to Donghyuck with a frown. “Did you feel that?”

He sticks his hand out and you watch expectantly. Donghyuck jumps in surprise when the droplets of rain land on his palm. He laughs. “Oh shit, we have to go.”

In a matter of minutes, the sky is covered with thick clouds and the rain begins to fall steadily. The car park is a reasonable distance. All around, the trees begin swaying as you two rush to the car. You stopped in your tracks and Donghyuck slowed down to yell at you. “Hurry!”

You fumble with his jacket and create a makeshift cover, running up to him. “Get under.”

He joins you, one arm reaching for the sleeves of his jacket and the other wrapping around your shoulder to pull you close to him. The rain pours down on you two and you couldn’t help but laugh at your current predicament. Your glee was contagious and Donghyuck laughed along, melting into the sound of the downpour.

He ushered you into the passenger seat of his car before running over to the driver's side, his hair completely drenched. Donghyuck starts the engine and you blast the heater, adjusting the angle to blow towards Donghyuck.

“Aren’t you cold?” Even when his teeth are chattering and he’s visibly shaking, Donghyuck still tries to look after you. You rolled your eyes fondly. “You sacrificed your jacket for me. Just defrost a little, okay?”

You don’t miss the smile that’s tugged at the corner of his lips as he snuggles into the driver's seat, giving up his fight. When he deems himself warm enough, he begins the drive to your apartment. You keep your gaze on his profile, staring unabashedly. Donghyuck stares back several times. He can’t quite tame the feelings blossoming in his chest. He clenches the steering wheel, eager to make it back to your apartment.

Your intertwined hands keep each other warm. He follows you through your apartment and as always, he’s happy to have you pull him in whatever direction. You bring him into your room and grab two fresh sets of towels.

“Go in here. I’ll use the spare shower.” You hold the stacked towels and Donghyuck apprehensively glances at it, reluctant to separate from you. His eyes rove back at you and his eyes widen into a pleading look. You frowned. “What is it?”

“I want to stay with you.” Donghyuck shamelessly answered.

Your cheeks heat up and you push the towel to his chest, causing him to stumble backwards. “Don’t be stupid. We are both drenched and will fall sick. It is faster this way.”

His pout is still present but he finally accepts the fresh towel, your hands freed from his. The cold immediately replaces his warmth. “Go. I’ll need to find something you can fit in while waiting for your clothes to dry.” You tell him, keeping yourself away from the thoughts running through your head.

Donghyuck looks at you longingly for one last time before conceding to your instructions. You let out the breath you were holding when you heard the lock on the bathroom door, slouching against the wall to calm your nerves. After laying out the spare clothes you had stolen from your fathers closet, you quickly grabbed your own clothes and rushed to the spare shower.

Alone, surrounded by the tiled walls of your shower, you’re given some reprieve from your racing feelings. You didn’t mean to take a long shower but the stream of hot water was what you needed to unwind. By the time you returned to your room with a towel wrapped around your head, donning an oversized shirt and sweatpants, Donghyuck was already waiting for you on the edge of your bed.

You blinked at the sight. His hair was fluffy after a shower and your fathers shirt sits loosely over his frame, making Donghyuck look cuter than usual. Donghyuck has a sheepish look on his face as he obediently waits for your return.

“Come here,” you say as you walk over to your dressing table. You’re pulling out your hair dryer when Donghyuck stands beside you. You grinned at him. “Sit. I’ll dry your hair.”

Again, Donghyuck easily follows your direction as he settles down in front of the vanity. You work quietly as you dry his hair, brushing it with utmost care reminding you of your younger days, when he would let you style his hair. You gently apply some hair oil to your hands and run it through his soft strands. Standing close to him, you can smell the fragrant scent of your shampoo lingering on his hair. You inhale deeply.

Donghyuck breaks the silence as he murmurs softly, “Your turn.”

The tranquility that sits between you and him is too enjoyable to ruin so you let him have his way, inwardly pleased to have Donghyuck take care of you. He removes the towel from your head and begins working on your hair. Donghyuck is practically a magician. He expertly massages your head as he rubs your hair products into your hair. You’re content with the silence between you two as he brushes your hair before drying it.

When he’s done, Donghyuck tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, leaning over your shoulder to whisper in your ear. “You’re stunning.”

You meet his eyes through the mirror and you immediately grow shy, looking away and getting up from your seat. “Thanks,” you mutter as you busy yourself with tidying up the vanity.

Thankfully, Donghyuck gives you some space as he steps back to watch you. You can feel his eyes on you even with your back turned to him. It makes your heart skip a beat.

Once you’ve kept all of your things, you are forced to face Donghyuck again. You slowly turn on your heels to face him and he is already looking at you. Donghyuck’s stare has been fixed on you the whole time and you grow nervous under his stare, the weight of it starting to unnerve you.

Donghyuck’s gaze grows deeper as he straightens his posture, looking you dead in the eye. His resolve has hardened. It was a foreboding moment in which you were powerless to stop but you still tried. “Y/N, I love–”

Your eyes widened in fear. “Stop. Don’t say it. Don’t you dare say it.” You point at him accusingly.

His gaze falls to the distance between you two, unable to fathom how he ended up in this position when moments ago, you were inseparable. “Why? Are you scared?”

You part your mouth in disbelief. He wasn’t mocking you. Donghyuck was genuinely trying to get through you. The pressure of it all has you cracking under it. “Because I don’t know what’s going on between us anymore! You treat me with so much tenderness and affection, crossing the boundaries we have set, ever so often. My rationality flies out the window when I’m with you. I have a reason to be scared because the last time you treated me this way, you rejected me!” You exploded.

Donghyuck can see the way you’re shaking, a similar visual to the night of his birthday party. Even as the tears begin to gather in your eyes, he forces himself to stay calm for your sake. “I was a fool, Y/N. I am sorry but I get it now.”

“Are you sure you’re not just caught up in the moment?” You ask as your gaze drops to the ground. Donghyuck frowns deeply. You have become so small in the short span of your conversation. It hurts him to see you this way.

“God, no. Never.” He pleads as he steps into your space, one hand gently cupping your head, lifting your chin upwards to look you in the eye. “I love you. I have loved you forever ago and I’ll love you forevermore.”

Your vision blurs completely. “I love you,” you whispered into the hushed silence. Donghyuck slowly leans forward to bring your foreheads together. You blink away at the stray tears that pooled in your eyes. “I love you, Lee Donghyuck,” you repeated.

He nodded and closed his eyes, uncaring when your tears fell on his face. “I love you,” Donghyuck whispers as he holds you close, finally catching you as you fall apart in his palms.

Between job hunting and apartment hunting, your honeymoon couldn’t have been a better excuse to leave the world behind.

The sun shimmers in the sky. You’re leaning against cobbled streets that have been around longer than your existence, when Donghyuck comes over jogging to you. You chided lightly. “Slow down. I don’t want you to fall.”

Donghyuck almost crashes into the wall but he plays it off with a coy smile. “I love falling for you.”

You scrunched your nose, cringing at his joke. “You’re terrible.”

“Too bad. You’re married to me for life.” Donghyuck teases.

“Indeed, I am.” Your eyes flit to the ring on his finger and you smiled softly. “Hey, what took you so long?”

Donghyuck perked up. “I asked the receptionist for some help. He told me a few nights ago to visit a particular bakery. Thought we could venture out before lunchtime.”

You wrapped your arm around his, interlocking your fingers together. “Sounds like a plan. Lead the way.”

Savoury treats, sweet drinks and good company is all you needed and Donghyuck eagerly met your needs. The moonlight reflects on the cobbled stones of ground, a soft glow leading the way around the city. His fingers shyly brush yours after every few steps. It’s only been two months since the confession and Donghyuck has demonstrated impeccable patience with you. You knew this trip was a way to finally start returning the favour.

You timed it correctly, firmly pulling his fingers into your hold and intertwining it together. You can feel the surprise jolting through Donghyuck which elicits a giggle from you.

“What’s going on?” He asks, aiming for a relaxed tone but ultimately, you can hear his underlying worry.

“I felt like holding hands with my husband.” You lift your gaze to smile at him, “I know you like this.”

Just as you had expected, Donghyuck starts blushing. His composure doesn’t break much to his credit. He remains collected and squeezes your hand tightly. “I do. I do like this and I like you.”

“Like?” You asked, voice lilt in an attempt to push Donghyuck’s buttons.

You hear Donghyuck muttering under his breath and you laugh gleefully, knowing he has fallen straight into your trap. It’s too easy to tease Donghyuck. It’s a skill that never faded away even after all those years apart.

“I’m the luckiest girl alive. My husband likes me.” You said loudly. Some passersby give you a quizzical look as Donghyuck’s face burns with mild embarrassment.

“I don’t like you.” His face is red but his eyes are filled with determination. You’ve seen this version of Donghyuck many times under various circumstances. He’s standing his ground. Donghyuck looks at you, maintaining a steady grip on your hand.

“Hm?”

“I love you.” He declares.

You slowly reach out to gently cup his cheeks, caressing it ever so softly. Hearing him say it still makes your world spin round, giddy with joy and excitement. Standing on your toes, you inch your head upwards to give him a peck on the lip.

Donghyuck squeaks out of surprise and the kiss ends as quickly as it happens. His eyes are rounded, seemingly frozen and fixed on you. You smiled sheepishly as pink dust the apples of your cheeks. “I love you,” you said.

Donghyuck blinks and suddenly you’re being pulled into his body, stumbling over your feet as you land on his chest. You exclaimed softly and he wrapped his slender arms around your waist, grounding you.

“You can’t just do that.” His eyes are roving across your face. It’s clear that his restraint has stretched thinly. You pulled your lips into a smirk as you confidently met his gaze. “What are you going to do about it?”

Your eyes fall shut as Donghyuck presses his lips against yours, this time with more pressure than your attempt. He takes his time with you, kissing your breath away, bathed underneath the moonlight. Your fingers find purchase at the back of his neck and Donghyuck groans.

The kiss breaks and you’re smiling wildly at him. “I’m yours, Hyuck. I’m not going anywhere.”

You trail your other hand up his chest, pressing it flat against his shirt to feel his heartbeat. You look at him in awe and he leans down to rub his nose against your cheekbone. Donghyuck utters, “And I’m yours. Forever and always.”

[colossaloss]

"you know so many words! you must be really bookish"

me and the 12784626817th k-pop fanfiction: yeah hahaha

[spaceboytoy]

Hello bisexual community

[spaceboytoy]

Begin killing

[tartrazeen]

[colossaloss]

i want to (censored)

[jenny-holzer]

[devilcherri]

[seoberry]

260523

[colossaloss]

when you're in a small waist competition and that blonde guy from p1harmony shows up, what do u do?

[seoberry]

260523

[seoberry]

260523

[ryokkuya]

˓ ݂𐄢˖⃰𛰙𓏺۫ੵ𓏺ٜ۪𓏺𞣖̥ଝ⃠̴̵॔𓏺ູ𓏺𓏺𞣖ଝ⃠̴̵॓𓏺ᩝ༷𓏺𓏺໋᯿ ˖້ᩚ ݁⋄⸒ܿ 🐠 。𝄞

can ThiS be a sign ?*!?!?*

[boyagertwo]

[mingoooossii]

NCT WISH AS SANRIO CHARACTERS !

a/n: i can't say it's biblically accurate but they are in my brain <3 yushi cinnamoroll agenda!!!

SION - ESPRESSO

i'm biased coughs cute, distinguished, smart, intj kings, vocals <3

YUSHI - CINNAMOROLL

cute, shy, cinnamon roll, lasts -2.5 bites also does not play about his idols

RIKU - CHOCO CAT

kitty ^^ government assigned animal. kuri and choco cat are cousins be fr.

JAEHEE - POMPOMPURIN

golden retriever, cute, pudding :( lasts 1.5 bites tops

RYO - KEROPPI

smol, bubbly, sporty, very cute :(

SAKUYA - MY MELODY

cute, pink and in charge of the bakery <3

bonus because he's so cute :(((

SION - HELLO KITTY

cutest ever. sobs.

[colossaloss]

the lack of jaehee fanfiction is actually insane to me!!! lmk if u have some recs, i'm in daeyoung drought

[infectiouspiss]

seeing the mature content warning on a post just means i get to play the game of is this actually mature or is this just a woman

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[sabitalune]

UMBRO KOREA X NCT WISH

[jikookncity]

Mark Lee x Reader (Spidermark)

Mark had to cast a spell with Doctor Strange to make sure everyone forgot he's Spiderman, including you, his girlfriend. Slowly but surely, you find your way back to each other.

18.2k, No smut, just fluff and angst. First person pov.

-----------------

Hi. You don’t know me, but you used to.

The first sentence in the letter always starts the same.

Hi. You don’t know me, but you used to.

Mark stares at the sentence until the ink bleeds slightly into the paper, his grip tightening without him realizing. The cheap desk in his one-bedroom apartment wobbles under his elbow. Outside, a siren wails somewhere in the city, fading into the hum of traffic and distant voices.

He exhales slowly.

Starts again.

Hi. You don’t know me but you used to. My name is Mark Lee—

The pen stops.

It always stops there.

Because what comes after that? How do you explain a life that technically never existed? How do you tell someone you were everything to them… without sounding like a stranger who’s lost his mind?

He crumples the paper, tossing it toward the overflowing bin. It misses. They always miss when he's like this.

The room is dim, lit only by a flickering lamp and the glow of the city sneaking through half-broken blinds. His Spider-Man suit hangs by the window, still slightly torn at the shoulder from earlier. He hasn’t had the energy to fix it yet.

He hasn’t had the energy for much of anything lately.

Except watching you.

You pull your jacket tighter around yourself as you walk down your street, the night air brushing cool against your skin. It’s quiet—too quiet, but not enough to make you afraid.

Just… aware.

There’s that feeling again.

Like someone’s there.

Not close enough to hear. Not close enough to see. But there.

Your steps slow for a second, eyes flicking behind you. Empty sidewalk. Parked cars. A streetlight buzzing softly.

You shake your head.

“Get it together,” you mumble to yourself.

And yet…

The feeling doesn’t go away.

From above, Mark doesn’t move.

Perched on the edge of the building across the street, he watches you walk—careful, steady, memorizing every small detail like he’s afraid the world might take this away too.

The way you tuck your hands into your sleeves.

The slight furrow in your brows when you think someone’s watching.

You always used to do that.

His chest tightens behind the mask.

“Yeah,” he whispers softly, voice barely audible under the fabric. “I’m here.”

You can’t hear him.

You’ll never hear him say your name the way he used to.

Not unless—

No.

He shuts the thought down immediately.

That choice is already made. There’s no undoing it. Not without risking everything all over again.

So he stays where he is.

Watching.

Waiting.

Protecting.

Always protecting.

You reach your door, fumbling slightly with your keys. For a brief second, you pause—glancing over your shoulder again. Your eyes scan the empty street, lingering just a little longer this time.

Mark freezes.

Something in his chest sparks—hope, sharp and sudden.

Do you feel it?

Do you remember?

But then you shake your head again, unlocking the door and slipping inside.

The light clicks on.

The curtains close.

And just like that—

You’re gone.

Mark waits a few more seconds. Just in case.

He always does.

Only when he’s sure you’re safe does he move, shooting a web and swinging away into the night. The city rushes past him in blurs of gold and shadow, wind cutting through him, grounding him.

This is what he has now.

Not laughter. Not shared secrets. Not your hand in his.

Just distance.

And duty.

Back in his apartment, the silence feels heavier than before.

He lands softly by the window, peeling off the mask. His hair is damp with sweat, his face drawn, eyes tired in a way sleep hasn’t been able to fix.

He glances at the desk.

At the pile of failed letters.

At your name, scribbled over and over in the margins of crumpled pages.

Mark walks over slowly, sitting down again. He picks up a fresh sheet of paper, smoothing it out carefully like it matters—like this one might be different.

The pen hovers.

For a long time, he just… breathes.

Then...

Hi.

His hand trembles slightly.

You don’t know me but you used to.

A pause.

Longer this time.

His jaw tightens.

My name is Mark Lee.

The words sit there.

Lonely.

Incomplete.

His throat burns.

Because the next sentence should be easy.

It should be something like:

I love you.

But you don’t know him.

And love, coming from a stranger… isn’t love at all.

It’s just confusion. Maybe even fear.

So instead, he writes

I just wanted to make sure you’re safe.

His breath catches.

That, at least, is still true.

That will always be true.

No matter what the world remembers.

No matter what you remember.

Mark leans back slightly, staring at the page like it might somehow fill itself in if he waits long enough.

It doesn’t.

It never does.

Outside, the city keeps moving.

Inside, he sits there,

caught between a past that’s gone

and a love that refuses to leave.

The bell above the café door jingles softly as Mark pushes it open.

Warmth hits him first—the smell of coffee, steamed milk, something sweet in the oven. It’s familiar in a way that aches, like a memory just out of reach.

And then he sees you.

You’re behind the counter, sleeves pushed up slightly, hair falling just the way it always used to when you got busy. There’s a light in your eyes as you laugh—easy, effortless.

But it’s not because of him.

Mark stops mid-step.

There’s a guy leaning against the counter, grinning at you like he’s already decided he likes everything he sees. He says something—Mark can’t hear it from here—but you laugh again, softer this time, a little shy.

Something sharp twists in Mark’s chest.

It’s not fair.

The thought comes fast, ugly, selfish—but he can’t stop it.

That’s my place.

Not in a possessive way. Not like you belong to him.

But that moment—the way you smile, the way your eyes crinkle just slightly—that was something he used to earn. Something he used to protect. Something he used to know.

Now he’s just… standing there.

A stranger.

Invisible in a world he saved.

Mark swallows hard, forcing his feet to move, stepping aside so he’s not blocking the door. He lingers near the wall, pretending to check something on his phone, but his eyes keep drifting back to you.

The guy finally leaves, tossing you one last smile before pushing the door open and disappearing into the street.

Mark exhales.

He hadn’t even realized he’d been holding his breath.

This… this isn’t something he can keep doing.

Watching from rooftops. Standing in corners. Writing letters he’ll never give you.

Living a life where he exists around you—but never with you.

He loves being Spider-Man.

He really does.

Saving people. Doing the right thing. Carrying something bigger than himself—it matters.

But he matters too.

Or at least… he used to.

Mark straightens slightly, something shifting in his chest. Not the sharp ache this time—but something steadier.

A decision.

I can’t have what we had, he thinks.

But maybe… I can have something.

Even if it’s small.

Even if it’s just 'hi.'

He doesn’t remember leaving the café.

Only the rush of wind against his face as he swings through the city, faster than usual, like he’s chasing something before he loses his nerve.

Back in his apartment, he lands a little harder than intended.

The room looks the same. Feels the same.

But he doesn’t sit down this time.

Doesn’t reach for a pen.

Instead, he moves.

Quick. Purposeful.

The mask comes off, tossed aside. He runs a hand through his hair, stepping into the small bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror.

For a second… he almost doesn’t recognize the person looking back.

“Okay,” he mutters quietly. “Okay.”

His voice sounds strange without the filter of the suit. Too raw. Too real.

He fixes his hair—again, and again, until it sits just right. Changes his shirt twice before landing on the black one.

The one you loved.

You used to say it made him look soft.

He hesitates for half a second—then reaches for the cologne. Just a little. Not too much.

His hands are shaking.

“Relax,” he whispers, letting out a breath that doesn’t quite steady him.

This shouldn’t be harder than fighting villains.

But it is.

Because this time there’s no mask to hide behind.

The bell jingles again.

You glance up automatically, mid-sentence, your eyes landing on him.

Mark smiles.

Or at least—he tries to.

It’s a little stiff at first, a little unsure. But it’s there.

“Hey,” he says, voice softer than he expected. “Uh—can I get a coffee?”

You blink at him for a second, not in recognition, just… normal curiosity. The kind you’d give any new customer.

“Yeah, of course,” you say, returning the smile easily. “What kind?”

He steps closer to the counter, heart pounding so loudly he’s convinced you can hear it.

“Just—uh—regular? I mean, not regular, I—whatever you’d recommend.”

Smooth.

Very smooth.

You let out a small laugh, and it hits him harder than anything else today.

God, he missed that sound.

“Okay,” you tease lightly. “And what milk do you want?”

Milk.

Right.

Mark blinks.

“I—uh—” His brain completely blanks. “Normal?”

You raise an eyebrow, amused. “Normal?”

“Like—milk milk,” he corrects quickly, wincing at himself. “Regular milk.”

“Got it,” you say, smiling as you turn to make it.

He exhales, shoulders dropping slightly.

Still alive. Good.

You hand him the cup a minute later, fingers brushing his for the briefest second.

It’s nothing.

It’s everything.

“Here you go,” you say.

“Thanks,” he replies, quieter now.

For a split second, you look at him, really look.

And something in him aches with hope.

Please.

Just—something.

But then—

You smile politely and turn away, already calling over your shoulder, “Hyuck, do we have more lids in the back?”

And just like that—

The moment passes.

Mark nods to himself slightly, like he expected that. Like it doesn’t hurt.

He moves to a table near the window, sitting down slowly, wrapping his hands around the warm cup.

From here, he can hear you.

You and Donghyuck talking. Laughing. Bickering over something small and stupid.

Normal.

So painfully normal.

He pulls out his phone, unlocking it just to have something to look at but his eyes aren’t on the screen.

They’re on you.

On the way you lean against the counter.

On the way you laugh without holding back.

On the way you exist in a world where he doesn’t.

And yet for the first time in a long time...

He’s not watching from a distance.

He’s here.

Close enough to hear your voice without wind rushing past his ears.

Close enough to feel… something other than empty.

Mark takes a slow sip of his coffee, letting the warmth settle into him.

It’s not what he had.

Not even close.

But it’s something.

And for now—

Something is enough to keep him from breaking.

Weeks pass in small, careful pieces.

Mark becomes part of your routine the same way the morning rush does—predictable, constant, almost comforting.

The bell jingles.

He walks in.

Black shirt sometimes, sometimes a hoodie, hair a little messy like he didn’t try too hard—but you’ve noticed he does try. Just not in an obvious way.

“Hey,” he says, soft smile, every single time.

“Hey,” you reply, already reaching for his usual.

You don’t even ask anymore.

“Regular milk, right?” you tease one morning.

He lets out a quiet laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah. Milk milk.”

It becomes a thing between you.

Small. Easy.

Safe.

From behind the counter, you watch him sometimes.

Not obviously.

Just… when you’re waiting for the espresso to pull, or when Donghyuck disappears into the back.

Mark always sits by the window.

Sometimes he scrolls on his phone. Sometimes he writes—pages and pages, head bent slightly, brows furrowed in concentration like the words matter more than anything else in the room.

And when he leaves he always smiles.

Always waves.

Like it’s important.

Like you’re important.

You don’t know why that sticks with you.

But it does.

Mark on the other hand notices everything.

The way you hum under your breath when it’s slow.

The way you sigh when the line stretches to the door.

The necklace around your neck.

His necklace.

He sees it the first time and nearly forgets how to breathe.

You still wear it.

Every day.

The small chain catches the light when you move, the pendant resting right where he remembers it.

His fingers twitch slightly around his cup.

Do you even know where it’s from?

Do you remember who gave it to you?

He wants to ask.

God, he wants to ask.

But what would he say?

Hey, that necklace? I gave it to you when you said you’d never take it off.

He swallows it down.

Like everything else.

One afternoon, after he leaves, Donghyuck leans against the counter, watching the door swing shut behind him.

He hums thoughtfully.

“You know,” he says, casual but not really, “I think he has a crush on you.”

You glance up, immediately shaking your head. “No, he doesn’t.”

“He so does.”

“He’s just nice,” you insist, grabbing a cloth and wiping down the counter. “Some people are just… nice.”

Donghyuck snorts. “Yeah, and some people come in every single day, order the same thing, stare at you like you hung the moon, and then leave smiling like an idiot.”

You try not to react.

You really do.

“He does not stare at me.”

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow.

You roll your eyes, turning away before he can see the slight smile tugging at your lips.

Because—

Okay.

Maybe Mark is…

cute.

In a quiet way.

The kind that sneaks up on you.

But you don’t say that out loud.

Instead, you shrug lightly. “He’s just a regular.”

“Mm-hmm,” Donghyuck hums, clearly unconvinced.

The next day, something feels… off.

You notice it the second Mark walks in.

He still smiles.

Still says, “Hey.”

But it’s softer. Slower.

There are faint shadows under his eyes, his movements just a little more tired than usual.

You notice.

Of course you notice.

But you don’t say anything.

You just make his drink.

Slide it across the counter.

“Here.”

“Thanks,” he says, fingers brushing yours again.

You linger for half a second.

Just a second.

Then you pull away.

It happens quickly.

Too quickly.

Mark reaches into his bag, fumbling slightly, probably for his pen—and his elbow nudges the cup.

You both see it at the same time.

The tilt.

The fall.

The inevitable spill—

Except—

It doesn’t hit the ground.

Mark catches it mid-air.

Fast.

Too fast.

A few drops still splash out, darkening the floor, but the cup stays intact in his hand.

There’s a beat of silence.

Then he’s moving, hurried, almost panicked.

“Sorry—sorry, I’ve got it,” he says quickly, setting the cup down and grabbing napkins.

“It’s fine,” you say immediately, stepping around the counter. “It’s my job, don’t worry—”

But he’s already taking the paper towels from your hands, crouching down, wiping the spill himself.

“I’ll clean it,” he insists, voice tight.

You pause.

Watching him.

Something about the way he moves—the speed, the precision, the instinct—

It feels…

familiar.

A strange sensation settles over you.

Like a memory just out of reach.

“Hey,” you say slowly.

He freezes slightly, still crouched.

“You have good reflexes,” you continue, tilting your head. “Have we met before?”

Mark’s heart stutters.

He looks up at you.

For a second—just a second—there’s something in his eyes.

Hope.

Fear.

Everything at once.

“I mean,” you add quickly, laughing a little, “I know you’ve been coming in for weeks. But like—before that? Outside the coffee shop? Maybe we had a class together or something?”

The air feels too still.

Mark stands, tossing the used paper towels into the trash.

“Maybe,” he says, keeping his voice light. Casual. “I meet a lot of people.”

It’s a terrible answer.

He knows it is.

You narrow your eyes slightly, but there’s no real suspicion—just curiosity.

“Hm,” you hum. “Maybe.”

You nod toward the sink. “Go wash your hands.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he says automatically.

The words slip out so easily it almost scares him.

You blink.

Another flicker of that strange feeling.

But it’s gone as quickly as it came.

While he’s gone, you glance at the table.

At the paper he left behind.

You don’t mean to read it.

You really don’t.

But the words are right there.

Hi, my name is Mark Lee.

Your breath catches slightly.

You repeat it in your head.

Mark Lee.

Something about it…

You frown faintly.

It feels familiar.

Not in a clear, obvious way.

But like a name you’ve heard before.

Like a song you almost remember.

Mark comes back, drying his hands.

“Everything okay?” he asks.

You look up at him.

Study his face for just a second longer than usual.

Then you smile.

“Yeah,” you say lightly. “Just… your name.”

He stiffens.

“My name?”

“Yeah,” you shrug, tapping the paper. “It sounds familiar.”

The world seems to hold its breath.

Mark doesn’t move.

Doesn’t blink.

“Does it?” he asks quietly.

You nod, though there’s uncertainty in it. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m imagining it.”

Maybe you are.

Or maybe—

Somewhere deep inside you—

Something is trying to come back.

And for the first time since everything was erased—

Mark lets himself feel it.

Hope.

For the past couple of months, something hasn’t felt… right.

Not wrong in a loud, obvious way. Nothing you could point to and say, there, that’s the problem. It’s quieter than that. Subtle. Like a song playing just a little off-key in the background of your life.

You notice it in small things.

A bracelet sitting on your dresser—delicate, pretty, yours—but you don’t remember where it came from.

A book tucked into your shelf you don’t remember putting there.

Mom says she didn’t buy it. Dad shrugs, says maybe it was a gift. From who?

You don’t know.

And that’s the thing.

There are… gaps.

Not huge ones. Not enough to scare you, not enough to send you spiraling. Just little pockets of missing pieces, like someone took scissors to your memories and cut out random moments for no reason at all.

Your last birthday.

You remember the cake. Your family. Donghyuck complaining about something stupid like always.

But there’s this feeling—

like someone else was there.

Someone important.

Someone who should be easy to remember.

And yet…

Nothing.

You sit on the edge of your bed, frowning slightly as you try to piece it together.

But then you shake it off.

Because this is New York.

In a world with the Avengers flying overhead, alien invasions, time travel rumors whispered like urban legends—memory being a little fuzzy doesn’t feel like the strangest thing that could happen.

Maybe it’s stress.

You’re young. You’re figuring life out. That’s enough to mess with anyone’s head.

So you let it go.

Or at least—

you try to.

By the time you’re getting ready for your shift, the feeling has dulled again, tucked neatly into the back of your mind.

You smooth out your clothes, grab your bag, and catch your reflection in the mirror.

There’s a small smile on your face.

You pause.

It grows just a little.

Because—

You’re thinking about him.

Mark.

Your new regular.

You don’t even realize how often he crosses your mind now until moments like this.

The way he walks in like he’s trying not to take up too much space.

The way he smiles—soft, a little shy, like it means something every time.

The way he stutters sometimes when you ask him simple questions, like you’ve somehow made him nervous just by existing.

It’s… cute.

Really cute.

And kind of—

You bite your lip slightly, shaking your head at yourself.

But still…

There’s something about him.

Something you can’t quite explain.

You don’t know what he does. You don’t know much about his life outside of those brief conversations about weather and rush hours and the occasional complaint about how busy the city gets.

You want to ask.

You’re curious.

But you don’t want to push.

Don’t want to scare him off.

Because selfishly—

you like that he comes in.

You like that little moment in your day where the bell rings and you know it’s him.

And now you know his name.

Mark Lee.

You say it quietly to yourself as you walk down the street, testing the way it feels.

“Mark Lee…”

It rolls off your tongue so easily.

Too easily.

Your steps slow slightly.

A strange feeling curls in your chest.

Like you’ve said it before.

Not just once.

But a hundred times.

A thousand.

Softly. Laughing. Maybe whispered into the quiet of a moment that mattered.

You frown.

You shake your head quickly, brushing it off with a small huff of air.

It’s a common name.

Mark.

Lee.

In New York City?

There are probably hundreds of them.

Thousands, even.

So yeah.

Of course it feels familiar.

Anything is possible in a city like this.

But as you push open the café door, the bell chiming above you—

There’s still that feeling.

Lingering.

Soft.

Unfinished.

Like a memory waiting—

just on the other side of your reach.

The bell jingles like it always does.

Mark is already there.

Same seat by the window. Same cup in his hands. Same quiet presence that somehow feels… steady now. Familiar.

You catch his eye as you tie your apron, giving him a quick smile. He returns it instantly, like he’s been waiting for it.

Donghyuck notices.

Of course he does.

He dries his hands on a towel, glancing between you and Mark with a look that already means trouble.

“Don’t,” you warn under your breath.

“I didn’t even say anything.”

“You were about to.”

He grins.

And then before you can stop him, he walks right over and drops into the chair across from Mark like he owns the place.

Mark blinks.

“Oh uh hi.”

“Hi,” Donghyuck says easily, leaning back like this is the most natural thing in the world. “You mind?”

Mark shakes his head quickly. “No no, it’s fine.”

There’s a moment where Mark just… looks at him.

And something flickers across his face.

Recognition.

Not conscious. Not clear.

But there.

Because this...

This is familiar.

Donghyuck, inserting himself into situations he wasn’t invited into. Asking questions he probably shouldn’t. Pushing just enough to get a reaction.

That’s how he found out the truth the first time.

Mark almost smiles at the memory.

“What’s your deal?” Donghyuck asks, blunt as ever.

Mark chokes slightly on his drink. “My deal?”

“Yeah. You come here every day, sit in the same spot, write mysterious stuff, smile at her like she’s the sun” he jerks his head toward you “and then leave. I’m curious.”

Mark’s ears go red.

“I don’t—” he starts, then stops, clearly flustered. “I just like the coffee.”

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. “Sure.”

Mark frowns slightly, brows furrowing in that quiet, almost unintentional way he does when he’s annoyed but doesn’t say anything.

It makes Donghyuck grin.

God, he’s cute.

So different from him.

Where Donghyuck is loud, Mark is soft.

Where Donghyuck pokes and prods, Mark absorbs, thinks, chooses his words carefully—if he even says them at all.

“You new to the city?” Donghyuck asks, tilting his head.

Mark hesitates for half a second. “Kind of.”

“That explains it,” Donghyuck nods. “You’ve got that ‘I don’t know anyone but I’m trying’ vibe.”

Mark lets out a quiet huff of a laugh, looking down at his cup.

“Something like that.”

They talk.

Or… Donghyuck talks.

Mark answers.

Short sentences. Careful ones. But he doesn’t shut down. Doesn’t pull away.

And the more it goes on, the more something settles in his chest.

Because he knows this.

Knows the rhythm of Donghyuck’s voice. The way he fills silence without even trying. The way conversations feel less like effort and more like… momentum.

It’s been so long since he’s had this.

Something normal.

Something easy.

By the time Donghyuck stands up, stretching slightly, his break clearly over, he glances down at Mark again.

And pauses.

Because Mark looks…

Content.

Not just polite.

Not just “that was fine.”

But genuinely—quietly—happy.

Like that short conversation meant more than it should have.

Donghyuck notices everything.

“…You’re interesting,” he says, narrowing his eyes slightly, but not in a bad way.

Mark blinks. “Oh.”

“I’ll be back,” Donghyuck adds casually, like it’s already decided.

Mark nods before he can stop himself.

“Okay.”

Donghyuck slips into the back where you’re restocking cups.

“Well?” you ask immediately.

He leans against the counter, thoughtful for once.

“I think he doesn’t have many friends.”

You pause. “What?”

“Yeah,” he shrugs. “Or he’s new. Or both. But he’s… I don’t know. He seemed really happy just talking.”

You glance out toward the front, where Mark is back to sitting quietly, phone in hand.

Your chest softens slightly.

“Hm.”

Donghyuck watches your face, then smirks. “What?”

“Nothing,” you say quickly, turning back to your task.

“Anyway,” he continues, “we should talk to him more. Maybe hang out outside of work. Get to know him.”

You let out a small laugh. “Why? So you can interrogate him in a different location?”

“Exactly.”

You roll your eyes.

“And,” Donghyuck adds casually, “maybe he’ll get over his crush on you.”

You shove him immediately. “He does not have a crush on me.”

“He does.”

“He doesn’t.”

“He does.”

“He’s just nice!”

Donghyuck laughs, holding his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. Fine. He’s ‘just nice.’”

You glare at him, but there’s no real heat behind it.

Then, after a second, you sigh.

“…But yeah. I’m down to be friends.”

The words come easier than you expect.

Like the idea of knowing Mark—really knowing him—feels right.

Natural.

Like something you were supposed to do a long time ago.

Out front, Mark glances toward the back where you disappeared.

He doesn’t know what you’re saying.

Doesn’t know what’s about to change.

But for the first time in a long time—

He’s not just watching your life from the outside.

He’s being pulled into it.

Slowly.

Carefully.

But finally—

He’s getting closer.

It comes back to him in flashes.

Not the loud, world-saving moments.

Not the battles, or the fear, or the choices that cost him everything.

But something quieter.

Softer.

The first time he met you.

It was two years ago.

A lecture hall that was just a little too cold, filled with half-awake students and the low hum of side conversations. Mark had been sitting near the middle, notebook open, pretending to pay attention while his mind drifted elsewhere.

Then your professor clapped their hands.

“Alright—pairs. Final project. Post-conflict justice. You’ll present in four weeks.”

Groans filled the room.

Mark barely had time to process it before you slid into the seat next to him.

“Guess we’re partners,” you said, offering a small smile.

And that was it.

That was all it took.

He was gone.

You were easy to talk to.

That’s what he remembers most.

Not intimidating. Not cold. Just… open. Curious. The kind of person who made conversations feel like something to enjoy, not survive.

What started as discussing case studies somehow drifted.

It always did with you.

One minute it was restorative justice, the next it was media narratives, and then—

“Okay but like,” you said, tapping your pen against your notebook, “in a city like New York, how does the legal system even keep up with superheroes?”

Mark blinked.

“…Superheroes?”

You grinned. “Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it.”

He had.

A lot more than you knew.

Your eyes lit up slightly. “Like Spider-Man. He’s basically operating outside the law, right? But people still love him.”

Mark felt his chest tighten.

There it was.

He tried to play it cool. “What do you think about him?”

You shrugged lightly.

“I think he’s brave,” you said simply. “And he does good. That’s… pretty admirable.”

Mark nodded slowly.

But something in him—something selfish, something hopeful—wanted more.

“That’s all?” he asked before he could stop himself.

You glanced at him, then shrugged again, softer this time.

“I mean…” You leaned back slightly, thinking. “I also think it must be a lot.”

Mark’s breath caught.

“A lot?”

“Yeah,” you said. “That kind of pressure? Always having to be the one who shows up, who saves people, who does the right thing?” You shook your head a little. “That’s heavy.”

He stayed quiet.

Listening.

Really listening.

“I just hope,” you continued, voice gentler now, “that he has a good support system. People he can rely on.”

Mark looked down at his notebook.

At his hands.

At the life he didn’t talk about.

“…Why?” he asked quietly.

You gave him a look like it was obvious.

“Because that kind of thing gets lonely,” you said. “And no one should have to carry all of that by themselves.”

Something shifted in him then.

Something deep.

Something that stayed.

Then, just as quickly, you grinned again—lightening the mood like you always did.

“But also,” you added, lowering your voice slightly like you were sharing a secret, “I hope whoever’s under that mask is getting some.”

Mark choked.

“W-what?”

You laughed. “What? I’m serious. You’re telling me someone that committed to saving the city doesn’t deserve a little—”

“Okay,” Mark cut in quickly, face burning red, laughing nervously. “I get it.”

You laughed harder.

And just like that—

The moment passed.

You moved on.

But he didn’t.

He never did.

A year later, you were sitting on his bed.

Closer than you’d ever been back then.

Not just partners.

Not just friends.

Something more.

Everything, really.

His heart had been racing just as hard as it was that first day—maybe even more.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked.

You nodded immediately. “Always.”

And that’s when he told you.

Everything.

Who he was.

What he carried.

What it meant.

He expected fear.

Shock.

Maybe even distance.

But you just looked at him.

Really looked at him.

“You idiot,” you whispered, eyes soft.

His stomach dropped. “What?”

“You’ve been carrying all of that alone?” you said, reaching for his face. “Mark…”

And just like that—

He wasn’t alone anymore.

The memory fades.

The city comes back.

Wind. Night. Distance.

Mark sits perched on the edge of a building, mask on, watching as you unlock your door and step inside.

The light flicks on.

You’re safe.

You’re always safe.

He exhales, something warm settling in his chest.

Because today you smiled at him. You said his name. You almost remembered.

It’s not the same.

It never will be.

But it’s closer.

Closer than he’s been in a long time.

Mark leans back slightly, gaze lingering on your window just a second longer than necessary.

“…Getting there,” he murmurs softly.

Not just you.

Him too.

For the first time since he lost everything...

He doesn’t feel like he’s standing outside his own life anymore.

He feels like he’s finding his way back.

The invitation catches Mark off guard.

They’re closing up for the day, chairs half-stacked, the smell of coffee still clinging to the air. He’s standing near the counter, lingering like he usually does, when Donghyuck leans over it and says, “Hey, we’re going to the park after this. You should come.”

Just like that. No build-up. No hesitation.

Mark blinks at him, then glances at you.

You’re wiping down the machine, but you look up at the same time, meeting his eyes with a small, easy smile. “Yeah, if you’re free.”

Free.

He almost laughs at that. His life is anything but free. Patrols, responsibility, the constant weight of something happening somewhere at any moment.

But this… this feels important.

He hesitates for half a second too long, then nods. “Yeah. Sure.”

Donghyuck grins like he knew the answer already.

The park is warm with early spring. The kind of day where the sun isn’t too strong, but it lingers on your skin just enough to make everything feel softer. There are people scattered around, dogs running loose, someone playing music faintly in the distance.

You sit on the grass together, coffees in hand, shoes slightly sinking into the ground. Donghyuck stretches out immediately like he owns the place, while you sit cross-legged, absentmindedly pulling at blades of grass between your fingers.

Mark sits a little more carefully, like he’s still figuring out where he fits.

But he’s here.

That’s what matters.

Conversation comes easier than he expected. Or maybe it’s just familiar in a way that makes it feel easy.

Donghyuck is talking about some game he’s been obsessed with, going on about levels and rankings and strategies like it’s life or death.

“I finally hit top tier,” he says proudly.

Mark huffs a quiet laugh, looking down at his coffee. “You’re still playing that?”

Donghyuck squints at him. “Still? What do you mean still?”

Mark shrugs, trying not to smile too much. “Nothing.”

“I’ve upgraded,” Donghyuck shoots back. “It’s called commitment.”

Mark rolls his eyes slightly, but there’s no real bite to it. If anything, there’s something fond underneath. He remembers this. The endless obsession, the way Donghyuck throws himself fully into whatever he likes.

Some things don’t change.

“You’ve been busy though,” you say, turning to Mark. “What do you usually do?”

The question is simple. Dangerous in a way only he understands.

He shrugs lightly. “Just… stuff. Work. Keeping busy.”

You nod like that’s enough, not pushing, and he feels something loosen in his chest because of it.

“What about you?” he asks, shifting the focus. “You mentioned baking before.”

Your face lights up slightly. “Yeah. I started recently. Just to, I don’t know, do something with my hands.”

“She’s been stress baking,” Donghyuck cuts in.

You glare at him. “I am not stress baking.”

“You made three different cakes in one week.”

“Because I was trying recipes!”

Mark smiles quietly, watching you. “Who do you bake for?”

“My parents mostly,” you say, softer now. “I bring home coffee after shifts and make something sweet. It just… helps, I guess.”

He nods, something warm settling in his chest.

He remembers your parents. The way they’d welcome him in without question, how your mom would insist he eat more, how your dad would ask him about school like it mattered. He never really had that growing up, not in the same way. But with them, it always felt… easy.

Like he belonged.

“They’re good people,” he says before he can stop himself.

You blink at him, a little surprised. “You don’t even know them.”

Mark pauses, then recovers with a small shrug. “I can tell by the way you talk about them.”

You smile at that. “Yeah. They’re the best.”

There’s a quiet moment, comfortable, filled only with the distant sounds of the park.

Mark’s eyes drift to your necklace again.

It catches the sunlight just slightly, the small pendant resting against your skin. His chest tightens as he looks at it, wondering if you’ve ever turned it over, ever noticed the tiny engraving on the back.

M.L.

He remembers how careful he’d been, how long it took to carve something so small, so precise.

You’d laughed when he gave it to you, then immediately put it on, saying you’d never take it off.

And you haven’t.

Even now.

“Do you know what you want to do?” he asks suddenly, voice quieter.

You glance at him, then look out at the park, thinking.

“Not really,” you admit. “Which is… kind of scary. But my parents don’t pressure me or anything. They just want me to be happy.”

Mark nods slowly, smiling to himself.

That sounds like them.

“That’s good,” he says. “Not everyone gets that.”

You hum in agreement, then tilt your head slightly. “What about you? Where were you before New York?”

The question lands gently, but it still makes his chest tighten.

“Toronto,” he says.

Donghyuck practically sits up. “Wait—you’re Canadian?”

Mark blinks. “Yeah?”

“That explains it,” Donghyuck says immediately.

“Explains what?” you ask, laughing.

“Why he’s kind of weird.”

You smack Donghyuck’s arm. “Shut up.”

Mark laughs, a real one this time, shaking his head. “Wow. Okay.”

“I’m kidding,” Donghyuck says, grinning. “Mostly.”

You’re still smiling, glancing between them, and something about it feels so normal that Mark almost forgets himself for a second.

The sun, the grass, your laughter, Donghyuck’s voice in the background—it all blends together into something warm and familiar.

Something he thought he lost.

He leans back slightly, hands resting in the grass, letting himself just exist in the moment instead of watching it from the outside.

For the first time in a long time, the heaviness in his chest isn’t there. The constant ache, the loneliness, the feeling of being just out of reach of everything that mattered.

It’s quiet.

Replaced with something softer.

Something steady.

This feels like home.

And for once, he isn’t thinking about what he lost.

He’s just… here.

They leave the park slowly, the sun dipping lower, the air cooling just enough to make the walk back feel easy. Donghyuck walks between you both at first, still talking, still full of energy, but as you get closer to your streets he stretches and checks his phone.

“Alright, I’m cutting through here,” he says, pointing down a side road. “I’m not walking all the way around like you two lovebirds.”

“We’re not—” you start, but he’s already grinning.

“Bye, Mark,” he adds, a little too knowingly.

Mark nods, trying not to react. “See you.”

Donghyuck disappears, leaving the two of you alone on the sidewalk.

For a moment, it’s quiet. Not awkward, just… softer. The kind of quiet where every small thing feels a little more noticeable. Your footsteps, the distant traffic, the way your shoulder almost brushes his once before you both subtly adjust.

“I can walk you home,” Mark says after a second, like he doesn’t want to assume.

You glance at him, smiling. “Yeah. Thanks.”

It’s simple, but it makes something in his chest settle.

They walk side by side, a little closer now, conversation coming in small pieces instead of long stretches. You talk about the café, about a customer who tried to order something ridiculous, about how Donghyuck nearly messed up three drinks in a row earlier.

Mark listens more than he talks, but when he does, it’s enough. It always is.

As your building comes into view, you slow slightly, then glance over at him.

“Oh—next week,” you say, like you just remembered. “Me and Donghyuck are throwing a party. You should come.”

Mark looks at you, surprised for a second before it softens into a smile. “Yeah. Sure. I’d like that.”

“Good,” you say, pleased.

You hesitate for half a second, then pull out your phone. “Wait—let me get your number.”

Mark fumbles slightly, pulling his out a second too late, almost dropping it before catching himself. “Right—yeah.”

You both laugh quietly as you exchange numbers, standing just outside your door now.

“Do you have socials?” you ask, already typing. “Like Instagram?”

“Uh—yeah,” he says, nodding. “I do.”

You find it quickly, tapping the follow button without hesitation. “There.”

He glances at the notification, something small and warm settling in his chest again. “Got it.”

There’s a pause.

Not uncomfortable.

Just… full.

“Okay,” you say softly, stepping a little closer. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” he answers, just as quiet. “Tomorrow.”

And then, before either of you overthink it—

You hug him.

It’s quick. Casual. The kind of hug you’d give a friend.

But to Mark—

It’s everything.

He freezes for half a second, like his body has to catch up to what’s happening. Then he lifts one arm, wrapping it around you gently, careful, like you might disappear if he holds too tight.

He breathes in without meaning to.

You smell different.

Not the same shampoo you used to use.

Something softer. Sweeter.

It throws him off for a second, the realization hitting him in a quiet, unexpected way. Time has moved on. Things have changed. Even the smallest details.

But you’re still you.

You pull away, smiling up at him like it was nothing.

“Get home safe,” you say.

He almost laughs.

The irony of it sits right there, obvious and a little absurd, but he just smiles instead.

“Yeah,” he says. “You too.”

You turn, unlocking your door and stepping inside. The light flicks on, warm against the evening dim.

Mark stays there for a second longer than he should, just watching.

Then—

It hits.

Sharp. Immediate.

His senses flare, the world snapping into focus in a way it only does when something’s wrong.

He doesn’t hesitate.

Before the thought even fully forms, he steps back, shooting a web and pulling himself upward, disappearing into the skyline in one smooth motion.

You turn back just before the door closes.

“Bye—” you start, stepping back toward the door, pulling it open slightly.

But he’s gone.

You frown faintly, looking out at the empty street.

“That was fast,” you murmur.

You step inside again, closing the door slowly.

And then you notice it.

That feeling.

The one you’ve had for weeks now.

Like someone’s watching you.

It was there the whole walk home. Quiet, lingering, just at the edge of your awareness.

But now—

It’s gone.

Completely.

You pause in the middle of your hallway, brows furrowing slightly.

You glance back at the door one last time.

Then shake your head, brushing it off as you head further inside.

But somewhere, deep down—

Something shifts.

Like a piece of a puzzle just barely moved into place.

Warm weather always brings in more crime.

Mark had forgotten that part.

Winter slows things down, keeps people inside, gives the city a kind of quiet it doesn’t usually have. But spring—spring cracks everything open again. More people, more movement, more opportunity for things to go wrong.

He’s been busier.

Too busy.

Nights blur together into sirens, rooftops, fists, and the sharp sting of getting hit harder than he expected. Cuts that should scare him but don’t anymore, bruises that bloom and fade before anyone else would even notice.

By the time he makes it back to his apartment most nights, he barely has the energy to sit, let alone think.

Still—

He thinks about you.

About the café.

About the way you smile when he walks in.

He goes less now. Not because he wants to, but because he can’t always make it. And when he does, it’s quick. A rushed hello, a coffee, a promise thrown over his shoulder—

“I’ll be at the party. Even if it’s just for a bit.”

He means it.

Tonight, he barely makes it.

He crawls in through the window, landing harder than usual, breath uneven. His suit is torn again, darker this time where blood has soaked through. He winces, peeling it off carefully, tossing it aside as he drops onto the edge of his bed.

For a few minutes, he just sits there.

Waiting.

Letting his body do what it always does—healing faster than it should, the worst of it fading just enough to function.

It’s not perfect.

It never is.

But it’ll do.

Mark stands, moving quickly now. Shower, clothes, hands running through his hair until it looks somewhat intentional. He pulls on a white shirt, then a denim jacket, matching jeans—something casual, something that doesn’t scream I just got out of a fight.

A little cologne.

Just enough.

He stops in front of the mirror.

For a second, he just… looks.

At himself.

At the version of him standing there trying to piece together something normal out of a life that isn’t.

There’s a strange feeling in his chest.

Like he’s pretending.

Like he’s stepping into a role he used to know by heart but doesn’t quite fit anymore.

His old life isn’t waiting for him.

It’s gone.

This, whatever this is now, is new.

Different.

And whether he likes it or not—

It’s all he has.

Mark exhales slowly, straightening his jacket.

“…Do it right this time,” he murmurs.

Then he leaves.

Donghyuck’s place smells exactly the same.

The second Mark walks in, it hits him—familiar, warm, a mix of something sweet and something faintly burnt like someone forgot about food in the oven at some point.

“Hey!” Donghyuck’s voice cuts through immediately.

Before Mark can even properly step inside, he’s being pulled in, a drink shoved into his hand.

“You made it,” Donghyuck says, like he’s half-surprised.

“Told you I would,” Mark replies, smiling.

“Yeah, yeah. Come on.”

He doesn’t get a chance to look around much before Donghyuck is dragging him toward the TV, already setting up a game.

“You’re playing.”

Mark barely has time to protest.

And he’s terrible.

Actually terrible.

Donghyuck is relentless about it, laughing, trash-talking, fully in his element while Mark fumbles through controls like he’s never held one before.

“At least pretend you’ve played a game in your life,” Donghyuck says.

“I have,” Mark mutters.

“Clearly not well.”

Mark huffs, shaking his head, but there’s something easy about it. Something light.

He glances to the side.

And sees you.

You’re across the room, laughing.

Not just smiling—really laughing, head tilted slightly, eyes bright.

There’s a guy standing close to you. Someone Mark doesn’t recognize.

And he’s leaning in.

Too close.

Saying something that makes you laugh again.

Mark’s grip tightens around the controller.

He tells himself it’s nothing.

Just a conversation. Just a party.

But then the guy reaches out, brushing a piece of hair away from your face.

Something in Mark snaps.

He doesn’t think. Doesn’t pause.

He’s already standing before he realizes it, crossing the room in a few quick steps.

“Hey.”

You turn, startled for a split second before your face lights up.

“Mark—hi.”

You step forward immediately, hugging him without hesitation.

And this time, he doesn’t freeze.

His arms wrap around you instantly, holding you just a little tighter than necessary, his eyes lifting over your shoulder locking onto the guy.

There’s something in his stare. Sharp. Unreadable.

Enough to make the guy shift uncomfortably, then mumble something about getting another drink before walking away.

Mark doesn’t look back at you until he’s gone.

When he does, your expression has changed.

You’re studying him.

“Are you okay?” you ask, brows knitting together slightly. “There’s… blood on your eyebrow.”

Mark almost groans.

Of course there is.

“I—yeah, it’s nothing,” he says quickly.

But you’re already reaching for his hand.

“Come on.”

You don’t give him time to argue, pulling him down the hallway, into Donghyuck’s room. It’s quieter there, the noise of the party muffled behind the door.

You sit him down on the bed.

Mark’s pulse spikes.

This is—

Too close.

Too familiar.

His hands rest awkwardly on his knees, trying not to think about how you’re standing between them, how close you are, how easy it would be to just—

No.

You disappear for a second, then come back with a damp tissue.

“Hold still,” you say softly.

You step closer.

Closer than before.

Your hand comes up, cupping his face gently as you tilt his head slightly toward the light.

Mark’s breath catches.

This is wrong.

Not wrong in a bad way.

Wrong because it feels too right.

Because his body remembers this even if you don’t.

The way you touch him like it’s natural.

The way you focus on him like nothing else matters.

His chest tightens.

He jerks back suddenly, pulling away.

“I can—finish it,” he says quickly, voice a little strained.

You pause, then nod, handing him the tissue. “Okay.”

There’s a small shift in the air.

Not uncomfortable.

Just… aware.

You clear your throat, stepping back slightly.

“This might be a weird question,” you say, glancing at him. “But do you have a girlfriend?”

Mark blinks.

“No.”

“Have you dated recently?”

He hesitates, then nods. “Yeah.”

You hum softly, watching him.

“Oh.”

“What?” he asks, a little defensive without meaning to.

You shrug, but there’s something thoughtful in your expression. “I don’t know. You just… seem kind of heartbroken.”

Mark lets out a small, surprised laugh. “What?”

“I mean it in a nice way,” you add quickly. “Like—you’re trying to move on. Which is good. But it feels like something’s still… holding you back.”

He doesn’t respond.

Can’t.

Because you’re right.

“Whoever she was,” you continue, softer now, “she must’ve been really special.”

Mark looks down at the tissue in his hand, the faint smear of red against white.

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “She was.”

There’s a beat.

Then he exhales, forcing a small smile like it’s easier this way.

“But it’s in the past.”

You nod slowly, like you understand, even if you don’t fully know what you’re understanding. The moment lingers for a second longer than it should, then you shift your weight and turn toward the door.

“Okay, well—”

Your foot catches on nothing.

Or maybe the edge of the rug.

You don’t even register it properly before your balance goes, a small gasp leaving you as you pitch forward—

And Mark is already there.

He stands up at the same time, one arm coming out instinctively, catching you around the waist with a steadiness that feels almost too easy. Like he’s done it a hundred times before. Like your weight doesn’t even faze him.

Your hands fly up, grabbing onto his arms to steady yourself.

And for a second—

You freeze.

Because—

He’s strong.

Not just in a vague way. Not just “he works out sometimes” strong. His arm under your hand is firm, solid, like muscle layered over muscle, like he’s built for something more than just sitting in cafés and writing in notebooks.

Your breath catches slightly.

“Thanks,” you say after a second, a little quieter than before.

------------------

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I miss you mark <3

[colossaloss]

IMSHITTING MYSELF RN😭😭😭😭