New Breed of Flying Spider Discovered
The Daily Paper News Travis Doeringer October 23, 2013
The greatest nightmare of many has come true, Venezuelan Flying Spiders have been discovered in Florida. What many thought was impossible is now a frightening reality. Beach goers fled from Fernando Beach Tuesday after a mid morning invasion. While many reported bites inflicted, more were injured from the stampede of shear panic at the sight of swarms of flying spiders.
“It was like a bad movie, like Million Dollar Baby” said one beach goer.
“I’m going to read the bible because this feels like the apocalypse” said another.
Police were called in, but their weapons were useless against the spider covered beach. An army of exterminators was dispatched to bomb the entire coast. Scientists fear this is just the beginning of a terrifying new reality. One where flying spiders are real.
Dr. Michael Westen, a local expert warns, if you encounter a flying spider, don’t try to reason with it, they’re like sharks, they don’t stand for reason. Instead, get inside, if they get inside your home, use a large shoe, then immediately flush it down the toilet. It’s the only way to be sure.
No one knows where the flying spiders came from, but one thing is for sure, we’re all going to die.
