Hello! I made this side blog as my main blog felt too personal, and I wanted a bit of a fresh start! And also to encourage myself to engage a bit more with things I like. (Also, to give myself a bit of confidence to share things.) I doodle sometimes, so you might see some art here and there! Right now, it's mostly one fandom, but I'm not going to dismiss the possibility of engaging with other ones! My username comes from a nickname I got from repeatedly engaging as an anon with another user. Sadly, there are no actual comfy hoodies here, but I'll just draw characters in comfy hoodies instead.
Need to build up my stamina again. And my art skills.
So! I’m doing small doodles and decided to doodle tired Xander, because, well, he’s going through it. Figured it would be good practice with expressions too. He’s actually supposed to have a more “got nothing let to lose” expression but I had trouble picturing it.
I still don’t know how to do his scar since it’s usually shown as a zigzag pattern. It really should be healed over more than this but I started messing with the layers and ended up with it looking a lot newer.
I feel sick again but more Paradise!AU dropped with good brother Mason and alive Laura.
This heals me.
(It also reminds me that I debated making a separate tag for my personal Paradise!AU headcanons since I made so many it's essentially an AU of the AU, haha. I'll try to come up with a more specific tag when my head clears up! Although for some reason, I feel like I already did?)
The lore drop today reminded me that I always wondered why Maddie didn't ask to live with Ethan after getting away from Mason.
I did speculate that she considered Ethan to be distant from her after Ethan was kicked out (judging by her lore short where teen Ethan was saying he would stay and then we see adult Ethan in his uniform) So, it looks like the distance between them probably started building there. (I also think their personalities play a part as we see Mikey willing reaching out to Ethan more often compared to Maddie) Since Ethan is in his uniform here, this happened before he confessed to being Dean. I wonder how Maddie feels about her uncle after those events. (She clearly loves him since she tried to call him and it's shown she does reach out to him, I just don't think she does it as much as Mikey did)
I do wonder, especially with the recent shorts, if the last arc will focus on other characters. We're seeing the Miller brothers, more Elders focus, investigations into Dean. I think Maddie and Bitter seem to show up more lately too. ZTC had these characters for ages and I'd be surprised if they weren't heavily involved in a main story arc at some point.
Anyways, I'm still sort of recovering from being ill, but I'm hoping I can get back into drawing soon. The most I've been able to do is pick at my WIPs or start simple drawings.
(Also, I think I saw someone post a headcanon, ages ago, of Xander checking to make sure Ethan is breathing in his sleep. They must be so delighted to see it's canon!)
I am always delighted to get more Paradise!AU. Especially since I was wondering if Mary told Samuel about Christian right from the beginning or of she decided to hide him like she did in the main timeline.
(I also feel delighted by the implication that it's a Paradise!AU because the characters made better choices/had different opportunities. My favorite type of AU.)
(Which is probably obvious considering the headcanons I made for the Lee and Collins family in Paradise!AU. Which I jokingly refer to as Paradise 2: Happy AU because it rhymes and also I have so many headcanons that it's basically its own thing. An AU of an AU. I wonder once the main story ends if ZTC will decide to develop her AUs more?)
This reminds me of when Xander said he wanted to hurt Christian when he found out Christian scarred Blake. It always stood out to me because we had only seen Xander be friendly and/or infatuated with Christian up to that point. Showed how much Xander loves Blake.
(Also, did they set up medical care at Xander's house since he can afford it. Because if they didn't, Ethan is just in the hospital without a disguise and smoking. Sir, please. I wonder if he's going to find himself in between these two. I hope he only popped in to help with the crisis and keeps his distance.)
(Also, Xander and Ethan's personalities and experiences are definitely a recipe for... something. Either a healing something or an explosive something. Maybe both. They can relate best to each other after all but also very much focus on caring for others at the expense of themselves.)
This is partly old, since I was testing out how I want to draw things (again) I also had pose in mind but couldn't find a reference, so I made do, haha! (Of course, I found a fitting reference after I already committed)
Lore has been a lot lately so I figured I should finish this and add a bit of happy! It's not quite what I wanted to do, but I think it came out pretty cute!
Been having trouble even making a circle lately so it was also a nice break to work on this since the sketch was pretty done.
I had a ramble post about the previous lore drop that included what I hoped for some of the characters.
But I had trouble posting it. And I swear I did manage to post it.
Except I don't see it anywhere??? I either accidentally deleted it trying to make it work, or somehow it deleted itself?
And I didn't save any of it...
Why
Anyways, quick thought about "Blue Hair" and some of the rambles I remember from the missing post.
Since Zeyn dyes the underside of her hair, maybe she'll have an undercut now? I wonder...
I briefly mentioned this on my now missing post, but I think Christian now will have to learn to directly face things since he had Dean shielding him before. This is a start.
Also, even though we know Ethan never stopped loving Christian, I hope he still keeps his distance, at least for a while, since Christian still has ways to go. It will be better for both of them to have that distance. If Ethan comes back right now, I worry he would focus more on taking care of Christian instead of himself. Plus, Christian needs to learn to be able to stand on his own.
I'm also hoping that Christian takes the distance he has from Zeyn and Ethan as motivation to actually get better. I know he wants too, but he clearly didn't think he can, which halts any progress he could make when they first left. Now that Ethan reminded him he can have hope, hopefully he can truly start recovering and improving.
I wonder if Blake will officially become Xander's guardian angel. He's always been protective of Xander. Also, Xander might get help from the angels but it isn't the same as Destiny protecting the main trio, or Mikey protecting Micah and Ethan.
We all know Xander would rather have his brother back. Give the man an actual break after this. Like, let him just retire from all this.
I think I had thoughts about Aaron possibly being part of the ritual to send Ethan to Christian's mind (it looks like him in the side) which made me wonder when Christian confessed to Aaron and Nina. Personally, I hope he told them after recent events since I feel it would fit better if Christian starts focusing on changing after he finds out Ethan didn't give up on him. I was always under the impression Christian just assumed he had nothing when everyone left the first time, either because he didn't listen to them (Zeyn saying he needs to change) or didn't believe in his own ability to change. Confessing to Nina and Aaron after all this would be pretty fitting since he's trying to take ownership of what he's done.
(I am curious, if he did tell them before the events with DF!Andrew, what made them not turn him in? To protect Ethan? Also, the designs and Dean showing up imply this was before DF!Andrew escalated things.)
Also, we're going to get more story of Andrew and Dean at some point, flashbacks or glimpses of the afterlife (both probably). There's clearly more lore to be revealed, and I think it would feel anticlimatic otherwise.
Oh, right! Title drop for the comic. It's undecided if I'll use it as the actual title, but I think it's fitting for how the comic is supposed to go.
You can see where I was experimenting with colors. And where I managed to get into the flow when drawing their faces.
They're at a café. I like to headcanon in the Paradise!AU that Andrew likes to treat Xander to different places since he knows Xander really appreciates different foods (especially bakeries)
I'm debating making a new tag for the comic specifically.
I'm still working on the Paradise!AU comic but haven't made any real progress because I keep scrapping things.
I decided this means I should start over from the beginning because 1) It will help clear my head, and 2) I realized the way I color makes it look a lot more busy and I think it not only affects readability, but also my ability to have a clear image in my head
I plan to post the total of the 3 old pages I consider (somewhat) completed. The dialogue should be the same on the new pages. If I haven't changed the script now, I doubt I'll change it later. (You guys have seen these pages before just without the text, I believe.)
I meant to post this before the lore drop and I am too tired to edit it.
But, it's very relevant to the lore drop today.
Also, wow, Andrew is crying over Ethan.
I wonder if Andrew would have wrestled control away if Christian never asked for Xander's help to rescue Ethan.
Or maybe he would have waited because he probably saw the conversation between Christian and Mikey.
Also, I'm kind of worried?
We've seen the extent of Andrew's obsession with Micah. There has been a lot of focus on it.
But the thing is-
Andrew is obsessed with Micah because of Ethan.
ZTC wouldn't show that unless it was very relevant to Andrew's motivations in current lore. He might obsess with Micah but in the end, it's not really about Micah to him.
What is his obsession like when he has the "real thing?" Not a replacement, not a reminder.
What changes when the one he really wants is right there?
If there is a difference in how Andrew obsesses over Ethan versus Micah, I think it would be Andrew actually wanted a relationship with Ethan.
Not a genuine one. It doesn't matter to him if it's forced. But he wants Ethan to be with him.
Does he see himself treating Ethan the way his parents treated each other? Was he resigned to it? He deliberately put Ethan in a position where he would get hurt after all.
Or does he justify it that it's all fine because he's not the one who laid hands on him?
I wonder if it's on purpose that Xander's favorite color is purple and Ethan was wearing an arguably purple sweater in the short (I feel it's one of those colors you can argue is blue too)
The short is funny to me because it's how I picture their dynamic when checking in on each other.
For example, I can see Xander using truth or dare to try to make Ethan sleep.
I just had a realization that the sweater color sort of matches the one I drew Ethan in before I added a pattern.
