Here at the comic-sans-chan dump, we believe in archiving and producing only the finest shipping trash. We don't merely throw them all in a heap like some dumps do, we put them on a shelf for everyone to easily locate and enjoy. Everything is lovingly polished, meticulously organized, and given many hugs and kisses.
You can browse all my archived ships and their associated categories here.
You can find all the fic I've never written here.
Fics I have written are on my AO3 here. (Pssst, the fics I haven't written are here, too!)
And if you like my blog and are in a lovely mood, you can always buy me a coffee.
May your ships never be lost to the black void that is the internet. Watch your step!
Aggressively confident headcanon: Vox's family were religious nuts who saw his heterochromia as a mark of the devil - his mom especially - and that's why he has a habit of squinting one eye mostly closed all the time. He grew up trying to make it less noticeable.
Just had a horrifying thought, so I'm going to share it. Stick with me here. I'm going to list out an order of events and you tell me if the logic follows what we see on screen.
Alastor and Vincent develop a close friendship that lasts at least a few years. Alastor knows all about Vincent's serial killer MO in life of killing off the people above him. This makes him pull back from the friendship a bit, and then Vincent's business proposition is the final nail in the coffin. He doesn't want to be used, he enjoys his position as Strongest Sinner, he's made a lot of sacrifices to secure that spotāat this point in time, Vincent's offer is a betrayal. He feels lied to. The friendship, which he now understands to have been a farce, ends. We know all of this already. However, then...
Seventy years of bitter rivalry pass, and things have changed. Alastor is desperate to get out of his deal now. He sits and wracks his brain for a way out. He remembers... Oh. There was someone who wanted to surpass me once. There is someone obsessed with surpassing me, still. What once was a betrayal can now be twisted in his favor. "Oh, that's clever." Very well. His old pal can finally get what he wants then, but it will be on Alastor's terms, and it will be only an illusion. Using Charlie, he can grant Vox a temporary advantage which will all-too-easily be stripped away moments after, because Alastor is better than Vox.
Vox proves all of his suspicions correct. Vox doesn't care about the Vees. He sees everyone around him merely as tools. Alastor is vindicated in his decision all those years ago. Pushing Vincent away was the right choice. It hurts to realize, but it's unsurprising.
Everything goes according to plan. Vox is powerful, Vox is a bastard, Alastor is free, and now he can finally put Vox in his place once and for all. No more wondering, no more nostalgia, no more drinking with that stupid pill mic. He tells Vox he's going to put him on his broadcastāand then he categorically does not do that. First, because he finds himself still holding back. He doesn't make a single fatal blow. He can't even bring himself to harm his stupid shark-dog. It's bullshit.
Second (and so much worse), Vox is winning the fight now, and what does Vox historically do to his competition? Now that he's the most powerful, and Alastor is threatening that position, what action follows? A massive fucking angelic canon, of course. Of course. Of course. Alastor is further vindicated. Vox finally got what he wanted and now he's removing Alastor from the equation entirely. Their friendship was always a lie. Vincent was always going to kill him. He knew this, he knew this, he knew this. He fucked up. He miscalculated. His sentimentality is about to be his end. Alastor, altruist, idiot, whenā
Vincent is going to kill himself and his partners and his shark-dog and all of the overlords and half the goddamn Pentagram and he's crying and he doesn't give a shit about fame or power or anything that isn'tā
His partners stop him and save him andā
Rosie is here and the bitch is calling him a demon, telling him he's heartless, and it's hilarious, it'sā
He lives. They all live.
???????
It. Just. Tell me this isn't exactly what Alastor's stream of consciousness looked like. Tell me this deer isn't walking away from Season 2 simultaneously more sure than ever of his dismissal of Vox and more off-balance. Like, it all went as expected. Vox seemingly proved him right, all the way up until he lost his mind.
And, uh. He almost died. If it wasn't for Velvette and Valentino, he'd be dead. Maybe he didn't expect that. Maybe he didn't really expect Vox to try to kill him. Maybe a not-insignificant part of him, a part that allowed him to offer himself up as prisoner to the man, thought that Vox was incapable of harming him in any meaningful way. In the same way that Alastor couldn't bring himself to even crack his screen during their fight. Maybe he's disappointed. Maybe it's been 70 years of telling himself Vox only ever cared about him insofar as he could use and discard him and it still sucks. Maybe he wanted to be wrong.
And maybe he's impressed. And maybe he's pissed. And maybe he doesn't understand why Vox went off the deep end.
And maybe he's a little heartbroken, underneath all of that, and he's not even sure why.
This is a subject Iāve seen a few posts comment on, usually getting a lot of backlash in the comments defending Alastorās hotness/rizz cred. I thought itād be interesting to dive in and try to parse out both whether Alastor is considered unattractive in-universe (as a demon, not a human) and possibly also how he feels about that.Ā
First, as a preliminary statement: Of course Alastor is objectively hot, as a demon. IRL, heās the most thirsted after character for a reason, after all. Heās gorgeous. But weāre not talking about objective, our world facts here. Weāre talking about how heās perceived in-unvierse. Is anyone in hell (other than Vox, obviously) attracted to this guy, from either a sexual or a platonic standpoint?
Letās look at the hotel staff first. Charlie? Well, we see Alastor slinking and slithering around her bedroom in ways that would make Vox/most of the fandom orgasm, and sheās mostly weirded or creeped out by it. No signs of attraction there, and while she does come to consider him a friend and is briefly taken in when he flatters her in Dad Beat Dad, for the most part she doesnāt seem to find him charming or personable. Lucifer, definitely not. Weāve seen how he talks to Al. The minute he sees him he dislikes him, he fantasizes about killing him, he insults, derides, and clearly finds him irritating at best. I know people ship them, but thereās no in-universe scene where Lu seems to find Al attractive or charming.
Vaggie seems to find Al a massive headache to talk to and insults him to his face. I know we like to head canon Husk was charmed by him, but he doesnāt reference that. He says he lost his power to him in a card game. It would have been easy to parallel that with Husk and Angel, if Val charmed Angel into his contract and Al did the same. But no. He gambled him for it. Niffty definitely enjoys Alastorās company, but even she, who comes on to every ābad boyā she meets, doesnāt seem to find him sexually attractive. That leaves Angel, who did briefly come onto Alastor in 1x01. But even Angel calls him āMr. Fancy Talk Creepy Voiceā, and only hits on him once, compared with Husk who he comes onto at every available opportunity. So even the hotelās horniest staff member doesnāt seem to find Alastor all that attractive, and aside from Nifty, nobody at the hotel seems to like hanging with Al much.
What about the rest of hell? Well, Val and Vel clearly donāt find Al attractive; Val says he doesnāt understand what Vox sees in āthat imbecile, when I am here, beautiful, beautiful!ā, implying that Alastor isnāt good looking. The people on Velās livestream say his hair looks greasy; we havenāt seen any thirst tweets about him in-unvierse as far as I can tell, whereas thirst tweets have been made on the livestreams about every other character who pops up on screen. All 3 vees and Charlie, even at her most unpopular with the public, got thirst tweets. So clearly being an overlord or unpopular with the public doesnāt disqualify you from thirst tweets. Thereās Mimzy, who seems to like his company somewhat, but she did know him asa human, so itās debatable if that counts. I canāt find anyone in-nuvierse who has called Alastor attractive, and very few who seem to find him charming or personable. (An interesting contrast with Vox, whose charisma is basically his only superpower.)
Now, I also donāt think this is for lack of Alastor trying! Itās not that he just doesnāt give a fuck, since obviously he needs people to trust or work with him. He does try often to be charming and pleasant on first meeting. In the āDay in the Afterlifeā comic, it even seems to somewhat bother him that people run away on seeing him. Heās really irritated that Lucifer almost immediately hates him, since his initial comments to the king are mostly pleasant. Heās annoyed that Carmilla doesnāt want to pay attention to him. He definitely wants to be able to charm people into doing what he wants, like he could in real life. For instance, when Husk talks to him in 1x05, his first instinct is to charm and sweet talk him into not worrying about it. Husk pushes him too far and he finally snaps and relies on intimidation. But charm is clearly his go-to instinct: He tries to charm Rosie into letting him quit the hotel in 2x04, He obviously weaponizes his charm and sex appeal against Vox in s2, the only person it actually works on, he tries to smooth talk Charlie in 1x07 and sheās having none of it; he has to basically blackmail her into making a deal with him. This all contrasts dramatically with Vox, who when heās at his best can persuade other Overlords, who youād assume would be smarter than that, into going along with his ridiculous plans on sheer charisma points alone.Ā
What does make this interesting, too, is that in contrast, alongside his rizz points, Vox appears to be an in-universe sex symbol. Heās part of the Vees, who are considered hot, and in-universe was voted the hottest person in hell. Which on the surface makes no sense. Alastor is a humanoid bishonen with a slightly awkward haircut and creepy smile, Vox has a freaking TV for a head. (Not saying I donāt get the IRL Vox thirst, I 1000% do). But objectively speaking, it doesnāt make any sense that hell finds TV-head man hotter than Alastor. I think itās somewhat comparable to Toons in Roger Rabbit - Roger is to Toons a more eligible catch than Jessica because heās funnier and a star, whereas humans see a pinup dating a goofy bunny. Maybe since most of hell is demonoid, sex appeal has less to do with being conventionally pretty and more to do with vibes and aura. But in any case, it is pretty clear that in-unvierse Alastor is considered less attractive than Vox, and indeed doesnāt seem to be regarded as attractive, charming, or appealing - facts that obviously annoy him, despite how much he likes being feared, probably because 1, he was used to being able to smooth-talk and charm people as a human, and 2. It makes to harder to get what he wants.Ā However, itās also true that this doesnāt seem to bother him as much as youād think it would, and while a lot of that maybe yes, is because he likes being feared, I think thereās another factor in why he isnāt quite so miffed as youād think heād be:
Because heās spent 70+ years with Vox being obsessed with him. Heās had someone who must make him feel attractive and sexy, who is so weak for him it makes him stupid, for most of his afterlife. Even if most of hell finds him creepy and off-putting, and even if Vox is constantly trying to pretend heās over him, Vox finds him attractive, and Iād imagine alongside Voxās adoration for his other qualities, thatās gotta make Alastor feel good. So Iād imagine that heās never become too insecure about his appeal because hey, if hellās āhottestā bachelor is still into him, then he must still have it. Iād imagine that validation has felt pretty good, especially if everyone else acts likeĀ heās creepy and unappealing now. Among, of course, the other forms of validation Voxās interest in him has provided.Ā
I mean, like the posts have said, Iām sure Alastor does in part enjoy being feared and seen as scary, but I also think he doesnāt like that people arenāt as easily drawn in by him as they used to be. This post theorized itās part of his punishment (especially of the theory that he drew his victims in with his femme fatale-style seduction is true, probably meant to be part of his karma) to be seen as less pretty in hell. Alastor does rely on charisma as much as on fear, and I think itĀ does in fact annoy him that it doesnāt work as well anymore. Except with Vox. Who wonāt be available to thirst after him in the near future.Ā Very interesting to see how Alastor will cope with the only person in hell who seems to find him attractive being MIA now.Ā
Again, objectively, Alastor is hot and charismatic. It just seems like nobody, one TV-headed idiot excepted, seems to find him so in-universe.Ā
There are in-universe implications that part of Alastor's punishment in Hell is exactly thatāto have his charm and attractiveness stripped from him.
The most obvious instance being through Rosie when she explicitly states that he was a "handsome, young man, and what a charmer" when he was alive, implying that he is no longer handsome, young, or particularly charming now. In that same sequence, we're shown what "handsome" looks like and it's a big perfect white smile, bouncy soft curls, and warm dark skin, which contrasts dramatically with Alastor's demon self: big sharp yellow smile, straight choppy fuckass bob, and the ashy gray skin of a corpse.
The smile especially we know Alastor cares about A LOT. "You're never fully dressed without a smile." But his smile is off-putting now. It's interesting because, yeah, Alastor's radio host persona is clearly tailored to be charming, ingratiating, manipulative in all the same ways as Vox's is, but where people react positively to Vox, they flinch away from Alastor. What little leverage he had with his looks as a human is gone. His saving grace, the thing that got him his job as a radio host, that opened doors to parties, to opportunities, to networking, that had people excusing the color of his skin and allowed him a comfortable life, that made him able to lure his victims away so he could indulge in his favorite hobby, that had cops' eyes sliding off of himāforever out of reach.
