if they talk behind yo back, fart

here to distract myself during my PhD

[human-pet-they]

when the author describes someone dying and you can just tell they’ve never actually died by the way it’s written

[0xeyedaisy]

Thanks tumblr

[bumblebeebats]

The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "😰 No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!

[pisshandkerchief]

"I'm sweating like a pig": scientifically innacurate (pigs don't sweat), mean (kind of implies you think pigs are gross :( not cool dawg)

"I'm sweating like a motherfucker: realistic. you probably would sweat if you fucked someone's mother. implies you've got game

[draconym]

[guineapiggies]

Via cyd_dwyer

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

[tvguts]

yesterday i had a nice southern teenager call me "ma'am" and then look at me and go, in a well-meaning tone, "uhhhh, if you go by ma'am. sorry if not." and i had to be like yeah man ma'am is fine. appreciate you being inclusive though. i could almost see the little warning pop up in his UI-- hold up! people with blue hair often have pronouns. are you sure you want to address this individual with a gendered term?

[pigeon-butch]

your muscles being pleasantly sore after exercise is such a nice incentive I can see why they patched that in. the forced regular logins to avoid losing progress however are a predatory practice and deserve nothing but scorn.

[titsliker]

theres a trump supporter in my media arts major and sometimes my professor will ask him something simple like "whats the difference between ethics and the law" and he'll (i kid you not) say shit like "uhhh its like. honestly i thought that was like the same thing" and then my professor will give the rest of the class a mischievous knowing look

[titsliker]

[drchucktingle]

[heyitsmeisa-blog]

[americana-plus]

jamr0ll:

This never stops being hilarious

[thelibrarina]

Do you love the color of the–

HONK

[helenvaughans]

[between-stars-and-waves]

[liberalsarecool]

What are the odds?

[network-rail]

[network-rail]

apparently making fun of 9/11 is all I need to become popular on tumblr

[dragon-in-a-fez]

said this as part of a larger point in a reblog but I'm gonna make it its own post:

humans have the right to do things that are mildly bad for us sometimes.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

you have the right to eat way too many pierogi and make yourself a little sick. you have the right to go skydiving. you have the right to pull an all-nighter building the Imperial City of Tamriel in Minecraft. you have the right to get drunk in your living room watching football.

life is not about making the safest most logically correct choice at all times. you're a blob of salty meat piloting a flesh mech and you get to act like it.

[problemnyatic]

This is called dignity of risk and it's a big topic in disability rights spaces. id elaborate but im fuckin wiped

[fedorahead]

it's always funny how people will advocate for bodily autonomy when it comes to certain things but then shy away from anything they personally wouldn't do to their own body. like yeah, that's why it's your body buddy. i can do what i want with mine.

[turtlesandfrogs]

At one point I had a housemate who had been through multiple abusive or at least unhealthy relationships, and it effected the way they interacted with the world and others around them.

One of the effects was that they couldn't admit to mistakes or accidents. They would lie when they could, and they'd try to cover it up when they could.

One day, they broke one of my glass dishes in the kitchen. I wasn't at home at the time, so they cleaned up in a hurry and then hurriedly scrambled to glue it back together. They never said anything to me, and I wouldn't have ever noticed-

Except I walk barefoot in my home and two steps into the kitchen I had a small shard of glass in my foot. Looking for a source, I noticed the dish in the drain, and looked a lot more closely at it than I normally would have, and noticed a small piece missing from where they had glued two larger pieces together.

It took me a good twenty minutes to fish that glass out of my foot. I then went and vacuumed very throughly, as two dogs and a cat lived in that house, along with the humans.

If they hadn't been stuck in the patterns they learned when they were younger, they might have told me about the glass, and I could have worn shoes until it was safe. They might have spent longer cleaning it up and making sure the floor was safe, instead of trying to cover up their mistake by gluing the dish back together.

If they could have broken out of those patterns, they would not have put those around them in harm's way.

Break out of your unhealthy patterns. They're hurting you, and they're hurting the people around you. If someone over reacts to something like a broken bowl, the answer is to remove them from your life, not to go around gluing bowls back together without saying anything.

[turtlesandfrogs]

I forgot to say it, but this is both metaphorical and literal. It was a very real shard of glass in my foot AND a lot of us pick up unhealthy coping mechanisms and then go on to unintentionally hurt others. So please, please, work on identifying behaviors and thoughts that end up hurting you and those around you.

Because sometimes it's not just a shard of glass. Sometimes it's a lot bigger and more harmful.