if they talk behind yo back, fart @comicallym1schievous - Tumblr Blog

paper-mache-stars

been thinking about grace and adrian being alike

depsidase

human-pet-they

when the author describes someone dying and you can just tell they’ve never actually died by the way it’s written

0xeyedaisy

Thanks tumblr

bumblebeebats

The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "😰 No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!

pisshandkerchief

"I'm sweating like a pig": scientifically innacurate (pigs don't sweat), mean (kind of implies you think pigs are gross :( not cool dawg)

"I'm sweating like a motherfucker: realistic. you probably would sweat if you fucked someone's mother. implies you've got game

draconym

guineapiggies

Via cyd_dwyer

keepcalmandcarriefischer

tvguts

yesterday i had a nice southern teenager call me "ma'am" and then look at me and go, in a well-meaning tone, "uhhhh, if you go by ma'am. sorry if not." and i had to be like yeah man ma'am is fine. appreciate you being inclusive though. i could almost see the little warning pop up in his UI-- hold up! people with blue hair often have pronouns. are you sure you want to address this individual with a gendered term?

pigeon-butch

your muscles being pleasantly sore after exercise is such a nice incentive I can see why they patched that in. the forced regular logins to avoid losing progress however are a predatory practice and deserve nothing but scorn.

titsliker

theres a trump supporter in my media arts major and sometimes my professor will ask him something simple like "whats the difference between ethics and the law" and he'll (i kid you not) say shit like "uhhh its like. honestly i thought that was like the same thing" and then my professor will give the rest of the class a mischievous knowing look

titsliker