Comment Shaming

Anonymity Breeds Assholery

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A review of a non-review of a movie that isn’t out yet

So full disclosure, my wife is a Ghostbusters fan.  She is a huge Ghostbusters fan.  It’s my go to gift for.  “Does this have Ghostbusters on it?”  Yes.  “I will pay full price for this and she will be happy.  So when we heard about the new film, we were optimistic.  To me, the trailer looks like every other movie.  But she’s still excited. 

Then the internet saw the trailer.  You know the internet.  A collection of suburban children that believe they know basic economic theory because they read Neil Strauss’s “The Game”, and when confronted with a different view point will type “CUCK” in all caps repeatedly until it goes away.  Well, the internet hates the new Ghostbusters trailer.  This is partially because the CGI effects look too much like the live action scooby doo movie, but also because there are women in it and one of those women is very black.

With this cesspool already churning with hate cum towards the new Ghostbusters,  how is any movie bloggger supposed to stand out with their review? Everyone is showing off their anger stained crusted socks on their personal movie review blogs.  How can anyone make youtube money with such a saturated market?  In steps the “Angry Video Game Nerd” on Cinemassacre. 

“What do you want the set to look like?”  “A business that still rents porn tapes.”

He has taken the brave stance of announcing that he will not see the new Ghostbusters.  He takes this stance by recording a 6minute and 30 second video about how he will no review the new Ghostbusters movie.  He refuses.  It takes him 6 minutes and thirty seconds to say that he will not see it based on a trailer that is 2 minutes and 38 seconds long.  It takes him 2 and a half times longer to say he won’t see the movie than the trailer.  (Technically it is 2.47x longer than the trailer)

Welp, a website that has no less than 11 reviews of movies with Frankenstein in the title has declared that they won’t review the new Ghostbusters because it’s a “blatant cash grab”.  So what are the reviews of this non-review of a trailer?  Let’s dive head first into the comments and find out:

Here we go, a lot of Mac users coming into a ghostbusters thread to complain about PCs.  You know, if you want to spend that much money on computer that’s fine.  We all don’t have to like Macs.

The trailer doesn’t mention that they are women once.  I checked it.  In the entire 2 minutes and 38 seconds the following words aren’t mentioned “Women, Woman, Vagina, Girls, period, menstruation, equal pay, or boobs”.  The actors are women.  That’s it.  Switch Melissa McCarthy for Johan Hill, you have the same movie.

“I don’t like that studios now feel they need strong female characters and different ethnicities.” translation: DON’T TREAT ME LIKE A BLACK WOMAN AT THE MOVIES

I am shocked that a guy named Jason would have such a strong feeling about seeing too many female characters/minorities.  SHOCKED.

THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE.

You see what Jason is upset about is that this movie wasn’t made for him.  Jason has been the primary audience of every movie in history.  (With the exception of Zardoz.  No one knows who that movie is for.)  I don’t want to get into how often Leslie Jones is called a black stereotype or Token minority by these commenters, but it is neccessary.  Their main argument is that Winston was quiet, while Leslie Jones is loud.  You see!  They love black people, like Winston!  Here’s his first line of dialogue from the original movie: “Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.“  Get it, cause he’s poor.

Being loud in a film is not a stereotype.  That is an acting choice by the actor.  Have you ever seen Leslie Jones in anything?  She is loud.  All of her characters are loud.  What they are really upset about is that Leslie Jones is a black woman.  If this was a black man in this role, he would be considered the stand out star.

“Jason is really gonna hate the remake of Downfall next year.  They recast Hitler as a woman AND a minorities.”

I hope his best friend fucks his fiancee. 

If you don’t want to see the movie, just don’t see it.  Tell your friends, “Hey I don’t want to see this.  The CGI looks like Scooby doo.  Let’s watch Keanu instead.”  Not doing something is not a stance.  If they gave out awards for not doing stuff, I would have hundreds of awards for not making my wife cum.

It’s sexiest.

You know who I trust for my movie reviews?  Guys with snake skull profile pic mashups.

This guy’s facebook page is mostly made up of Dragon images and Spawn quotes.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Cinemassacre’s comment’s section links directly back to these dumb dumb’s facebook pages.  Need to know a cool place to buy a katana sword at 3pm with only Dave and Buster’s powerup points?  Gerry Barnaby: film reviewer has your back.  Need to harp on a fantasy in a way that is taken way too personal?  Gerry Barnaby:  Movie Knight knows exactly how you feel.  Need to have your term paper spell checked?  Gerry Barnaby: I enjoy Melissa McCarthy, but the others are Cr**p should not be first on your list.

PARODY SONGS:  THE HEIGHT OF SOPHISTICATION.

This song makes no sense.  The Ghostsbusters aren’t ghosts.  The bust ghosts.  But this song is all backwards.  The Social Justice Warriors are clearly going after white men, so they should actually be called the “PatriarchyBusters” or something else.  The “Social Justice Warrior Busters” would bust SJWs.  Probably while dabbing in a basement in front of their edgy semi-nude magazine covers while talking to other bronies on twitter.

“Princess Luna is a stereotype.”

Stop calling people sexist, you DUMB CUNTS!

Yes, the decision to title this video: “Ghostbusters: No Review.  I Refuse.”  Has nothing to do with the fact that the Ghostbusters are now women.  As stated repeatedly, everyone saw the 2 minute and 38 second trailer and thought it was shit, and a rehas based solely on greed.  So this website/reviewer decided to announce that he was never going to review it.  Once again, I ask you to please ignore the fact that this website has also reviewed over 11 different movies with the name Frankenstein in the title.  Or the review of the Godzilla reboots.  Or all of the Draculas.  Those were different.  Those didn’t have Bill Murray.

DO YOU EVEN GAME OF THRONES BRO?!!  DO YOU?  LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME STRONG FEMALE WELL WRITTEN CHARACTERS THAT I LIKE BEFORE YOU GO POPPING OFF ABOUT THIS PC BULLSHIT:

Pick the two female characters that haven’t been threatened with or survived sexual violence. Yet.

We get it.  You boys are angry.  Someone asked you to share your fantasy characters with girls.  They have been yours exclusively for 32 years, that was a pretty good run.  You have toys, movies, cartoons, videogames and so much more constantly coming out with the original cast.  But now it’s time to let someone else enjoy it too.

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other view points are terrorism

Drudge report linked to an article about #Blacklivematters protesters burning an American flag outside of the GOP Debates last night.  This article is the ultimate troll bait for racist comments, it has it all: black people, patriotism, racism, political debates, cops folding flags and peaceful protests.

So of course we start out with the fun playful nicknames that all political commenters have a need to repeat:

And now let’s blame everything on welfare.  Even though this protest took during the evening after normal business hours for most employers.

There was a moment where I though he wrote “spayed” instead of sprayed, and I was really relieved when I reread it.

Take a deep breath, it’s just comments.  And we have tumblrs new gif tool to get us through this.

Who still says colored?  And the answer to your question, weird old person that says colored like it’s normal, all young Americans can recite the pledge.  We have spent years having kids stand up at the beginning of school and reciting the pledge like they are sleepy children of the corn.

That’s a good slogan, NOYB.  But we need to get it down to hashtag levels.  you know for the twitter kids that don’t know how to say the pledge of allegiance.

Does anyone have a non-racist opinion about flag buring to protest systemic racism in policing outside of a Republican presidential debate?

You see?  It has nothing to do with systemic racism, police brutality, economic disparity, voting rights or free speech.  IT’S THE FLAGS.  IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE FLAGS.

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Here we are again

I haven’t posted in nearly a year.  Life got in the way.  I didn’t post about Ferguson, because it seemed like the same racist things in the comments over and over again.  But now there have been riots in Baltimore and close friends of mine keep telling me that Racism is no longer an issue in America.

Well, that’s just not true.  On the internet, where people are comfortable to hide behind Fake names and Avatars has a full on racist boner right now.  This article about the Baltimore Riots was linked by Drudge Report and thus everyone’s racist uncle/cousin felt the need to share their opinions:

Remember, in the comments section, everything is everyone else’s fault, but it is all connected.

This is my favorite type of crazy.  There is only one way a person can burn a building, and that’s if they have direct permission from the President of the United States, BARRACK HUSSEIN OBAMA.

And remember, these people don’t hate Obama because he’s black, they hate him because... well it’s because he’s black.

I guarantee this guy masturbates to Interracial cuckold porn at least twice a week.  I wonder if there is shorter non multiple paragraph way that this guy statements can be summed up?

That’s shorter, but I bet there is an even shorter more racist way to say this.

Yep.  That is definitely a klansmen.  His screen name is the founder of the KKK.  But racism is dead, stop complaining about it. 

It’s not racist, it’s a joke.  C’mon guys, lighten up!  Get it?  Lighten up!  Cause your black... you need to have lighter skin so you don’t get shot by the police.

Okay, enough humor.  Let’s get into race riot fantasies:

Oh no!  Not our malls! How can our malls handle mobs of people?

And now let’s just leave reality for a metaphor that does not make any sense.

Iceland Police have only ever shot and killed one person.

In Norway, a white supremacist killed 77 teenagers with an automatic weapon on an island.

Switzerland is a nation made up of 4 distinct cultures and languages.

Hong Kong just had massive protests.

Japan’s population is aging due to lack of immigration and low birth rate.

And of course this Skin head is mentioning Idaho, because of his boner for the Ruby Ridge Incident.

It’s almost like wherever there are people, there are issues.  And diversity has nothing to do with anything, but an arbitrary line we draw between people. 

As Dr. Martin Luth King Jr would say:

Memphis, Baltimore.  Facts, reality.  Who gives a shit.  We live in a post racial society.

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That Time Middle Aged Women Defended a Pedophile.

Don't fuck kids.

I think that is the simplest rule to follow in our society next to don't steal or murder.  However, for some people there is a weird grey area where sometimes not fucking kids is an impossible task.

Case in point, Middle school Teacher William Barber, has recently been accused of having sex with a female student at his school.  Barber is 38, the student is 15.  Barber was texting and tweeting with the 15 year old for a few months,  and one day, earlier this month, after coaching a football practice 38 year old William Barber allegedly had sex with the 15 year old in his office.  It was the 15 yr old girl's first time having sex.

That's right, he took a 15 yr olds virginity while his pregnant wife was at home with his 4 year old daughter, his daughter that has a brain tumor.  I know what you are thinking: "No one could defend this dude.  This guy is the worst.  what's with football coaches and child rape?"

Well, you're wrong.  Because once Fox29 Philadelphia posted the story i quickly found plenty of people that believe everything is the 15 yr old girl's fault for throwing her pussy at the 38 yr old man in a position of authority with a sick baby and a pregnant wife at home.

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Post by FOX 29.

So without any further ado, here are some people defending a kiddie fucker:

Yes Lori, a child that we won't allow to vote because her brain isn't fully developed and hasn't had the life experience to make fully formed decisions knew exactly what she was doing with that grown man who knew that that this was wrong.  It's the child's fault.

You're 50 Lori, learn what facebook privacy setting are. YOU KNOW BETTER.

If I was a real dick, this would be where I post a facebook pic of patty and her young teenage daughter and point out all of the ways that her daughter isn't fully developed.  Also Patty supports the cop that shot Michael Brown and lives in St. Louis, so why she's commenting on a Philadelphia facebook story leads me to believe that she has a sad life working at "Manager".

Way to let those old, sand bag tits hang out in your profile Pic.

Really?  A fifteen year old understands the consequences of her actions?  Amber, you do realize that every year high schools across the country have to hold mock car accidents to try and explain to kids to not drink and drive on prom night.  That's because kids have no life experience to understand that actions have consequences, like regrettable sex or death.

Also, if we arrested every 15 yr for doing something they regretted there would be no goths left in America.

First Brandy spelled, "y'all" wrong.  Second Brandy doesn't understand percentages.  85% of teenagers are pregnant or already mothers? 

"What are you girls looking at?"

"Our ultrasounds.  Duh!  Only ugly girls aren't pregnant before they can get their license."

Great statistic, Brandy. 

100% of the people in this photo are an idiot.

When did Earth accept planetary law?  Also, how is statutory rape like racism?  Is it because you want to support child rape and racism and family reunions without having to hear shit from your liberal cousins from the big city?  Did you study social work and child abuse at a Subway University? 

As for the reply, I was gonna post a funny picture, but I didn't want to google "13yr old virgin".  I'm pretty sure you instantly end up on a list for that.

SKOOL.  SKOOL.  YOU SPELLED SCHOOL WRONG.  SKOOL.

SKOOL.

Now, to swipe the legs out from under this recurring argument, that the 15 yr old should be held responsible for having sex with a 38 year old middle school football coach.  I'm going to show you a picture of another Pennsylvannia football coach that had sex with 15 yr olds.

That's Jerry Sandusky.  Everyone in this thread is defending the same actions that Sandusky used to rape and molest dozens of children over 25 years.  But this time it's different because Coach Berber had sex with a 15 yr old girls, and all teenage girls are sluts that want it.

I think the saddest part of this comment shaming is that so many of these comments came again and again from women who haven't cum in years.

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My Favorite Exchange

Donald Glover AKA Childish Gambino freestyled over a beat at Hot97 and it's great.  If you haven't heard it, check it out:

So I saw this video on Sourcefeed through a facebook link.  Then I accidently scrolled down to the comments and saw this comment and reply. After seeing a year of terrible comments, this exchange just lit up my night.

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Crossfitter Inappropriately Brings Up Paleo Diet

In February, a video of an NFL player, Ray Rice, of the Baltimore Ravens was released by TMZ.  That video showed Ray Rice dragging his unconscious fiancée out of an elevator in a casino.  

Ray Rice was immediately suspended for a record breaking 2 games.  Everyone was offended by the slap on the wrist and the story was likely to be forgotten until today when TMZ released security footage from the elevator showing Ray Rice punching his fiancee in the face.

TRIGGER WARNING, A GIF OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS ABOUT TO BE SHOWN BELOW THE NEXT IMAGE.  SO TO CREATE A NATURAL BOUNDARY HERE IS AN IMAGE OF A KITTEN HUGGING GODZILLA.

And now Ray Rice acting worse than Godzilla.

The Ravens and the NFL finally suspended Ray Rice indefinitely once this video was released.  Many commenters on ESPN.com applauded the decision, others claimed that that she hit him first, and then some made dumb jokes. 

But then there was this guy, who knows exactly why all of this happened.

Read it again.  Did you get all of that?  Kelsey Tarr believes that domestic violence is caused because dueling is illegal, not enough people eat a paleo diet, and fat people.

"Because we can't legally murder people that insult us anymore, and people eat too many refined sugars, you shouldn't expect people to not hit women, because women have only been able to vote for 96 years."

I'm pretty sure that's the simple version of an argument that no one was having but 23 people agree with because of Crossfit.

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81 Year Old Women Don't Just Suddenly Die.

Joan Rivers passed away and we here at comment shaming are saddened by the news.  Joan was the greatest Internet Troll before the internet even existed. The Hollywood Reporter was one of thousands of news outlets to report the news.

She insulted everyone from Presidents all the way down to Farrah Abraham.  Joan could comment about anything, and then suddenly she died at 81 years old.  What could've caused this?  Could it have been the anesthetics used during surgery?  Could it have been age?  Could it have been a medical condition?  Could it have been negligence?  Maybe it could be something else.  Something more sinister.  Something Kenyan.

Pictured above: Joan Rivers putting lipstick on a pig.

David Hume has confused death panels with panel shows.

Puff Puff Pass on the paranoia.

Anyone who speaks ill of Michelle Obama has ended up dead. 

Except Matt drudge for some reason.

Maybe Joan rivers was just that much more important.  Maybe a joke by a comedian has the power to change nations to the point that a secret cabal of powerful men would murder said comedian.  Or maybe conservative websites have been blowing so much smoke up people's asses about the Obamas that they see a conspiracy behind an 81 year old elderly lady dying after surgery.

Wait, nope. I was wrong, this is clearly proof that Michelle Obama and her dress maker are part of a double secret illuminati that kills elderly comedians.  ALL THE SIGNS ARE THERE.

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Famous Bodies are Public Domain

Variety.com reported on the now well known story that hundreds of nude celebrity photos have been hacked out of icloud storage and leaked across the Internet. The celebrities include Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton and more. 

Soon after the photos were leaked, conservative news aggregator Drudgereport.com linked to the variety story and the comments section imploded with victim blaming and accusations of false flag coverups.  Drudgereport doesn't have a comment section of it's own, it's Matt Drudge's way of never taking blame for the shit birds that follow his every word. 

Like all celebrity stories the first move is to blame the celebrity for having their privacy invaded.

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE YOUR IDENTITY STOLEN

THEN STOP HAVING MAIL DELIVERED TO YOUR HOUSE WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.

It's like she wants me to ruin her slutty credit.

I think it's great... that his commentor... abuses elipses...

more than his own dick... DUDE....

it's called a comma.... ellipses make you sound....

like you're breathing... HEAVY.... while attacking victims......

of a crime...........

Reasonable expectation is the same thing as moral, right? 

No jail for you mister hacker douche, you have a moral right to Jennifer Lawrence's tit pics.

Yeah, these hundreds of photos from multiple celebrities are the same as shooting yourself in the foot to get out of the draft. 

I don't sympathize with draft dodgers.

There is no apostraphe in hos.  Unless Boris didn't finish his full sentence of: "Bunch of Ho's privacy was invaded."  Which is still grammatically incorrect.

Pictured: "A Bunch of hoes."

Yes, stop being such idiotic skanks in closed rooms, behind locked doors and  on devices with passcodes behind a firewall.

Would anyone like to state that these women wanted this to happen?

Yeah, how dare they give consent to do sex scenes and then turn around and complain when pictures of their boobs are stolen in a criminal act!  Everyone knows that we want to jerk off to your titties, famous celebrities, so don't act like you didn't want this to happen.

At least no one said FALSE FLAG.

So the NSA is behind 9/11 AND Jennifer Lawrence. 

Congrats to Teddy Hertzl for figuring all of this out, and for finally letting the world know that he finds attractive women as attractive as butchered meat in a supermarket.

Stop prosecuting criminals and start prosecuting Mexicans.

I too am surprised that Variety.com, the celebrity film and TV website is reporting about celebrities and not #Benghazi.  Let's get biblical on Variety's asses!

STOP STIGMATIZING STIGMATA.  #YESALLSAVIORS

Only 5 people will get this reference.

And now the most unintentionally funny comment I've ever read.

I'm printing this comment out and posting it on my bathroom mirror so every time I feel sad I will read this comment and remember that I am not sheilaangelika14 or her husband. That knowledge will become a beacon in my life and i will float above the chaos of this world with all of it's problems for the rest of my days.

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ESPN.com COMMENTS FURIOUS THAT GAY FOOTBALL PLAYER IS STILL GAY/STILL PLAYING FOOTBALL

Michael Sam is the first openly gay football player in the NFL.  This is a big deal because it's 2014 and we still define people through tribalist structures of race, gender, and sexuality.  Okay, that's enough social justice warring for now. 

So sports fans and Sarah Palin went crazy when the St. Louis Rams drafted the first openly gay man into the NFL earlier this year.  And yesterday Sam got one step closer to actually playing in the NFL by surviving another round of cuts leading to each teams final 53-man roster.

ESPN.com reported on Sam keeping his job and immediately 40plus commenters out of a 370 said the exact same thing. 

HOW DARE YOU REPORT ON SPORTS RELATED THINGS THAT I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT!  I SHALL CLICK ON THE ARTICLE AND COMMENT THEREFORE SHOWING THAT THERE IS GENERAL INTEREST IN FURTHER REPORTING ON THE FIRST OPENLY GAY NFL PLAYER!!!1!

If only someone would just say what Josh Gosselin was really saying.

And then the rest of the midwest woke up and started typing.

I'M JUST ASKING EASILY ANSWERABLE HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS!

Then a few commenters needed to point out the reason ESPN covers Michael Sam's gayness and sports career on a sports website.

Sometimes I wonder if these people even know what liberals are.  But this next group know the reason that Sam will never get cut from the Rams.

THANKS GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH.

I bet they have a homos homeowners association too!  Damn queers with their aliens.  What the fuck is this guy talking about?

It's impossible to be homophobic and grammatically correct.

Speaking of discriminating against gay people.

If you put an "is the" at the beginning of Eduardo's comment this suddenly becomes a message of support.

One man's dirty and disgusting is another man's love, Winnie the Pooh fan Billy James.

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU MY PIGLET AND PUT MY HAND IN YOUR HONEY POT.

I HOPE HE DOES WELL BUT HIS CLAIM TO FAME SICKENS ME!  That's the most passive aggressive version of "stop being a faggot, faggot" that I've ever read.  Also, how does Christopher Pavlic know that Michael Sam is a bottom? 

Would a person comparing homosexuality to pedophilia use spell check before making the same comment twice?  Also whose someone talking about pedophilia please not use a picture of a child as their profile pic.  Please?

A lot of people in the comments repeatedly said that they didn't care if Michael Sam was gay, but there seems to be a deeper reason for why they don't like him. 

So what did Michael Sam do on draft day that is so disgusting, to make the world of NFL fans turn upside down?

Seriously though, if you look at this image of a man embracing his boyfriend because he's overjoyed that he's achieving his dream and think it's disgusting then you have some fucked up priorities.  Also, if you think Michael Sam is the bottom in this relationship you have no idea how gay sex works.

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LOVE THE VIOLENCE, HATE THE LOVE

So I've been away from the internet a while now.  I got engaged and have been working too much to care about strangers opinions on the internet.  But I was clicking around youtube today and saw this music video for Avicii's new song "Addicted To You"

The songs kinda catching, the singer sound's like Adele and the video is beautifully shot.  But then for the first time in seven months I scrolled down into the comments section.  And to my shock I immediately found myself back here writing this blog again.

So, what did strangers think about Avicii's new video where Bonnie and Clyde are actually two ladies robbing banks in the 1930s?

The line "Ewwww Lesbians..." is helping my research trying to prove that the internet is made up exclusively of 15 yr olds in Nebraska.

Guys, let's get passed the Lesbians thing.  What about the bank robbing and death?  Shit, the video ends in a suicide bombing, any thoughts about that?

So this guy was all into the guns and robbery, but the second these CUNTS held hands he thought the videos good message was ruined.  71 people liked this.

Yeah!  I'm sick and tired of fictional music videos playing into my confirmation bias about feminism!

It says it in the bible that it is not aloud. - I read this quote aloud to myself over and over again.  Then I smoked a cigarette and pondered how anyone can take the bible literally if they've never heard of homophones.  Then I was lead to the assumption that they think homophones are gay phones that oppress Christians by still charging roaming fees.

STOP HATING PEOPLE THAT HATE PEOPLE.

Seriously guys, did anyone watch the video and enjoy the song?  Anyone?

This is the closest thing youtube has to a positive statement on anything.

[sexologist]

The corner out front of my apartment looks like this in the daytime.

.

.

At 2am, it looks like this.

.

I took this photo recently from my kitchen window after we heard “I’M GONNA FUCK YOUR GIRLFRIEND” and then the unmistakable sound of knuckles against cheek bone. Outside...

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I used to live here. I don't anymore, because it is a shithole.

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THAT TIME RACISTS DIDN'T READ THE ARTICLE ABOUT THEIR RACISM.

So as everyone in the world knows last night was the super bowl and Coca-Cola ran an advertisement where people from different backgrounds sing America The Beautiful in multiple languages. 

Seems harmless right?  FUCKING NOPE!   The internet immediately exploded in racist reaction that there might be people who live in America that speak a language other than English.  CBS Atlanta ran an article about the internet's reaction and that article's comments section swelled with bigots screaming about how Coca Cola was wrong to run such an ad.

Here for your pleasure is the top voted comments from that article.  Most of which received between 30-100 upvotes each through disqus's comment board.

Let's start with the most upvoted comment from a fake New Zealander who doesn't know how to spell his own country for his racist anecdote.

"As the co-founder of a biotech company that I just made up in my own head, I am appalled that a multi-national corporation would create an advertisement that would try to expand their market share.  Also, Fuck Alec Baldwin in case you were wondering if my conservative credentials aren't strong enough since I'm an immigrant myself and that might scare you a bit."

This bad photoshop of muslim Alec Baldwin drinking a pepsi was stolen from FreeRepublic.com.  FreeRepublic.com, because Stormfront is just a little too openly nazi.  Also "America The Beautiful" was written by a lesbian.

why didn't we listen to eminem when we had the chance?

pictured above: forced diversity in Little Rock Arkansas

I am afraid of everything, that's why I hold my teddy bear to protect me from things that are different.

This is a well known neo-nazi statement being held on a sign by a neo-nazi.

The language barrier between cultures ruined every party on Babylon 5.

YEP.

*pictured above: The Duggars, a White Christian family with no rights standing in front of their home.*

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace was written in English as well.

This comment is so factually wrong I had to find linguistic maps of China and Spain to show exactly how dumb it is.

How do these societies exist with so many languages spoken in them?  Can we even call them "Countries" anymore?

"As an illiterate idiot, I am forced to assume that this picture shows how black people stand on the backs of whites to further their goals and we are just supposed to smile and take it."

The good news is someone replied to this dum-dum.

It's like they took the wrong message from Gene Roddenberry's vision for the future.  Instead of seeing a multi-ethnic crew soaring through the heavens, they saw the Borg as a way for the white race to colonize the stars and get rid of Mexicans.

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When White People Do It, It's Black People's Fault

I haven't posted in a while, because I've been working too much to read hundreds of awful internet comments and still smile at customers the next day.  But 2 days ago Philadelphia had their annual Wing Bowl contest.  For those of you that don't know Wing Bowl it's an event wear drunkards eat massive amounts of wings, vomit everywhere and then strippers show their tits, all while packed inside of the Wells Fargo Arena.

PHILADELPHIA: WE CAN'T AFFORD TEACHERS, BUT WE GOT FUCKIN WING BOWL, BRAH!

There were 2 big stories that came out this year:

1.  A WOMAN WON THE WING BOWL!!!! - yes it is shocking that a woman, WHO IS ALSO A MOTHER, could eat the heart stopping 363 wings to win the competition.  Totally shocked.

2.  A massive brawl consisting of 50 college students broke out and someone caught 50 seconds of video of it.

Here is a picture of the scene:

So after seeing this video of 50 white college students fighting in the stands of wing bowl, Philly magazine had only one comment from Optimize:

You see, this has nothing to do with the fact that unsupervised drunken college students started beating each other at 10am in a stadium.  This is somehow Macklemore's fault for winning a Grammy over Kendrick Lamar while having such a punchable face.

Hipsters: Gentrifying Poverty since before it was cool

Only and internet commenter could see 50 white people punching each other in the face at a Bacchanalian orgy of chicken wings and think: "If it wasn't for the blacks, then these fine young men would be sitting quietly and vote republican."

My big questions: "Where is the Sean Hannity, Bill O'reilly, Matt Drudge and WND.com and why are they speaking out against this?  This is clearly a problem with white culture and I'm so sick race baiters only getting all uppity when violence is interracial.  Where are they when white guys punch other white guys in the face?"

Everything pictured above is black people's fault.

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Upworthy: For When People Miss The joke

Everyone knows Upworthy, it's that terrible site that reposts youtube videos with different titles.  The Sketch group Stangemeal made a funny video about vaccines and upworthy posted it with the title: How Would It Look If Vaccines Were Advertised Just Like Prescription Drugs?

Now that's a dumb, click-bait title which is designed to attract site hits and comments like a Duck Dynasty star officiating a Gay Wedding.  Here's Strangemeals video; it's just called "Vaccines".

It's a short and simple parody advertisement of how vaccines save lives, so of course it drew in the anti-vaccine crowd like an out break of measles in an under vaccinated community that preaches against vaccines.

This burn is full of data showing a how regions in the netherlands that have less vaccinations have higher outbreaks of measles.

Upworthy doesn't allow comments on it's site, but oh boy did their facebook post linking to this injected with arm chair doctors most of which said the same thing:

Oh no!  The parody ad didn't mention vaccines side effects and conform directly to my world views!  THIS WOULD BE SICKENING, if the video didn't actually have a side effects listed at the bottom of the screen.

Use of Vaccines without proper birthcontrol can lead to explosive population growth causing sever environmental degradation, mass death due to famine and heightened incidents of armed conflicts due to limited resources.

Apparently, not getting your kids vaccinated leads to comment section echo chambers.

This funny video is misleading, and did not conform to my world view.

Things that don't follow my unsubstantiated beliefs are propaganda.

You see, I put "commercial" in quotes because I want to denigrate this video that is not really a commercial.  Also, I don't understand parodies.

Again, the video listed the side effects as I posted above, they also listed this side effect as well:

"Do not take Vaccines if you've chosen to die from the mumps."

Besides these commenters who didn't actually watch the video, because their eyes were sealed tightly with rage when they realized that someone disagrees with their moms against vaccines message board, that's when shit got real.  And by real I mean full of real bad science and outrage.

Yes vaccines and Big Pharma disables and kills children like Polio.

If you think a website called Upworthy could ever be objective to anything but getting site traffic then you cannot possibly understand the complexities of vaccines.  Here, watch Strangemeals other video that mocks the lack of unobjectiveness found in every website like upworthy:

Do you know what we would call a medicine that would link the strains of common colds together to create immunity that wouldn't cause people to get sick?  We would call that a fucking vaccine. 

Thank you for stating that you were nearly 20 (read 19) at the beginning of this post letting everyone know that your frontal lobe isn't fully developed yet.

Congrats FDR, you didn't die from polio.  I bet that makes you so happy you could just dance... oh, wait.

I'm so offended I hope that your children are injured by the imaginary thing that I'm afraid of!!!  Also, I'm going to call all of the people that disagree with me, including millions of doctors, scientists and nurses, a herd of sheep, because I don't understand herd immunity or how spreading misinformation about vaccines can lead to children's deaths!  All of you idiots just think that vaccines are so sexy and safe.  You've been lead to a cliff by flashy ads and sexy models that have brainwashed you, just like everyone in the 50s that thought smoking was safe!

[commentshaming-blog]

These Comments Will Make You Want To Punch The Entire Internet

I can't even process that this article exists.  Return of Kings, home of the creepiest comment I've ever found just posted the dumbest, most empty headed article I've ever read.  This article, blames one of the victims in the Arapaho School Shooting and all of the other female students of the school for the shooting carried out by Karl Halverson.  The article's most basic point is that Karl Halverson shot up his school because no one was fucking him, and that is feminism's fault. 

Here's the pull quote that sums up the insanity of this article.  (Trigger Warning:  You'll probably want to punch your computer screen after reading this)

Take a deep breath.  Just Breath.  Remember that people that leave their house and don't dedicate their lives to sharing strategies to manipulate women into having sex with them make up 99% of the world.

Okay that's not working.  I'm still angry too, so here's a picture of my dog dressed as an elf.

Stop slut shaming her for wearing crotchless pants.

The logic of this article, "the shootings will continue until women stop being sluts" is the same as saying that "Terrorism will continue until everyone is Muslim."  But there's no room for logic in these comments.

Yes, Rest In Peace Karl Halverson.  The school shooter who killed himself after murdering Claire Esther Davis.  Yes, it's Karl who should rest in peace. 

It's about to get worse.

From here on out it just gets worse.  So before I go on, here's a picture of a dog birthday. 

This is a total Snausage Party.

Still not the worst.

Apparently, Jack the Ripper was an Alpha Male, red pill PUA.  If you don't know what any of those terms mean, congratulations!  You aren't a bag of shit.

Also, notice how how he's saying that jack the ripper, serial killer with 5 known victims, was a good thing to keep women in their place.  FK's comment empathizes and validates a serial killer.

Still not the worst.

Well, doesn't that make me feels safe.  This dude is so afraid to even speak to women that it made him want to kill.  And we as taxpayers paid to train him how to kill.  Yay!  Everybody wins, except maybe the 5,000 women who reported being sexually assaulted in the military last year.

Still not the worst, but before I post it, before you read it, please look at this picture and smile for a moment, remember there is some good in the world:

There is kindness and love in this world, just not on Returnofkings.com.

Okay, here it is.  The worst comment:

A whole website more concerned with a murder's dick than the people killed, wounded and effected by his actions.  Remember that.  Whenever you here of the website ReturnofKings.com they cannot relate to women as human beings.  Hell they can't even think of women as men without dicks.  They can only relate to murderers and rapists.  And everything bad that has ever happened to a returnofkings.com reader is everyone else's fault.

I want to end this with an apology.  I try to keep these comment shaming blogs funny and light hearted, but everyone of these comments got me insanely pissed off.  I think it's because red pill sites like returnofkings.com tries to concentrate on what it is to be a man and not what it is to be a person.  And maybe that's what Karl Halverson really needed, just a person to talk to him to say "Hey it's not that bad and it get's better.  Also, highschool is only 4 years of your life, and on average most people live to 75.  So that's only 5% of your life, and after that you can be whatever you want."

Now I'm going to go have a cry on my couch for a while. 

[commentshaming-blog]

The Klan Can Hide Behind Hoods, But These Commenters Can't.

My new favorite comment hell, MrConservative.com has posted another link bait gold mine that old midwesterners like to forward around to each other while saying "It's called the WHITE House for a reason..." 

So when I saw this article titled: "Maryland KKK Group Allowed to Hold Meeting in County Building, Want to Impeach Obama"  I thought to myself, "That's an incredibly bad title and there is a typo in the first sentence of the article."

But then I delved into the comments, which are linked directly to each commenters facebook page.  A fair number of commenters said stuff along the line of "I want Obama Impeached, but the KKK is evil/dumb/racist."  Then there were the comments that keep pushing the line that the KKK is a Democrat organization.  And finally among the 400 comments on the article I found these proud standard bearers for the white race:

Just keep drinking coors light alone in that shitty bar while reliving your softball championship game, Kevin.  I'm sure the Klan will find you eventually.

THE KKK IS AN INSIDE JOB DESIGNED TO MAKE ME LOOKS LIKE A RACIST FOR HATING EVERY CULTURE THAT DOESN'T HOLD GAZEBOS AS SACROSANCT!

I wonder, when those candles melt, will Terry blame it on the government, because "Fire can't melt wax?"

Yes, the KKK is trying to help everyone's rights, just like this woman's eyes aren't screaming out in terror for help to flee from your mohawk. 

Eric works really hard at Self-Employed, where he concentrates really hard on how

Also, Jews have totally gotten over the holocaust apparently.  Don't tell the holocaust museum, that'll ruin everyone's day.

98 people agreed with this stereotype's comment that "no one can remember the KKK's crimes, but KNOCKOUT GAME, C'MON NOW!!!  GOOGLE." 

$20 bucks says his favorite porn genre is "POV interracial cuckold".

William Larry Stockton -  hates that dirty dirty queerish nigger, but definitely not a member of the KKK.

Well there we go, you see these people aren't racists.  They just 100% agree with the KKK and all of them have way, WAY too many pictures of flags on their facebook walls.

[commentshaming-blog]

Someone bet me I couldn't find a bad comment on an NPR article.  I bent the rules a bit and checked out NPR's Facebook page where they post most of their article links.  That's when I found this piece of shit screaming about "gun grabbers and liberals" under an article about a highschool student that died of wounds she received from our nations most recent school shooting. 

Merry Christmas everybody!