👊 | THE HANGED MAN.

ind. priv. sel. read hub rules before following.

[compassneedle]

"...THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT i wanted to protect. i didn't even want to continue living in a world without my family. for over a hundred years i committed pointless acts of carnage. it's a horribly sad... laughable... and ridiculous story."

#compassneedle: a private akaza roleplay blog,written by maggie. read the rules on @rabbitprose before interacting. verse information.

[rabbitprose]

hey y'all, a lot of you who follow me also followed tsukkiakarii and i wanted to post this to say they've been mistakenly terminated.

we're working on restoring their account atm.

[compassneedle]

she sits cuddled up to his side, lips against his neck and dotting soft kisses as a hand rests upon akaza's abdomen. that hand isn't still, however: she's practically kneading against the flesh not unlike a cat's paw, as if her purring didn't give away kokushibō's contentment.

unprompted. / always accepting!

and there's a stuttering breath outwards, heart immediately leaping to his throat and a soft whine sounding. she was always… overwhelming — SO overwhelming, and yet he couldn't stop indulging.

cheeks dust red, before he stammers out pathetic words, "h—hey…"

"…you have too much audacity, sometimes. you know that?" and yet, he doesn't stop her from doing whatever she likes.

[compassneedle]

‘i’m coming with you.’

resident evil requiem prompts. / accepting!

"NO," comes a firm, and sharp response. he looks to her in a moment of panic, then softness starts to bleed through his expression, "…no."

a softer gaze, and a softer tone. gently, he pulls her town into a sweet kiss — tender, as if dealing with something so very fragile.

as he parts, he looks into all of her eyes, one-by-one, "i need you to trust that i'll be okay."

"i know you're worried," he continues, "it's a place of pain and anguish for me — but, i'm strong enough to do this alone, this time."

and then, a playful smile, "you can hear my thoughts anyway, right?"

[compassneedle]

"You're okay, just breathe for me."

send, "you're okay, just breathe for me." for sender to find receiver in the midst of a panic attack. / accepting!

and some nights were harder than others — even on akaza's 'easier' nights, he was excessively hard to deal with, but now — now was entirely different. where pink tresses threatened to turn black, where golden eyes threatened to dip back into blue — should kokushibō find him on this horrible, haunted night,

she'll find him curled up at the base of a tree; a wounded animal, struggling to breathe.

"i've had enough," comes his reply to her attempt to soothe. akaza was very much broken — picked apart, put back together; he should have died that night and yet.

and yet.

"i've had enough," hakuji looks up to her, "i don't want to do this anymore."

the headaches. the memories that made no sense. voices that come from everywhere and nowhere. his master muzzling him and tugging him by the collar at every which-way — only to try to kill him on multiple occasions. it was too much. he'd had

enough.

"please," the hardest panic attacks were the ones where thoughts were scrambled, but words come out so clear, "just let me rest for a while."

"let me rest." let me rest, let me rest.

[compassneedle]

"oh!" a surprised sound, barely even audible and yet there's something pleased lingering within. not amused for she hasn't realized the depth of hakuji's conundrum, yet koyuki gives affirmative nod. "i know michikatsu-san," as if she's talking about an old friend, "i see her at the doctor's; she looks intimidating but she's very kind!"

and then, a pause, "why do you ask, hakuji-san?"

(modern re: our convo the other day uwu)

unprompted. / always accepting!

and it takes hakuji a moment to register what she'd actually said. michikatsu—? she knew her? however, concern seems to unconsciously squirm onto his features; a slight furrowing of brows at the mention of doctors.

was michikatsu okay?

"…i never would have guessed — she didn't seem like the type to talk to people easily," the slight worry seems to bleed into his words, "why was she there? do you know?"

and then, "are you... friends?"

[compassneedle]

of course i came back. i couldn't let them… oh, this is all my fault. (u kno what. post main!)

prompts from beauty and the beast. / accepting!

"we're not faultless," he comes to express bluntly, "neither you or i. but that doesn't mean we can't move forward — obstacles or not."

sometimes akaza felt like salt in a wound, or hell, reopening the wound to begin with. but it needed to be said — from his bluntness, came a desire not to see her hopeless.

"the only ones who can end this cycle is us," and then, "so end the cycle." end the cycle with me.

[compassneedle]

“ Who are you trying to protect? ”

questions only sentence starters. / accepting!

and perhaps she didn't understand his conviction — the desire to not only move past the violence he'd created, but to rectify the pain he'd caused. akaza wanted to make an effort beyond any other; to become something as close to the old hakuji as he could.

the air felt very cold, and yet he doesn't cover himself — doesn't rub his arms or shiver, "those who i have hurt the most."

illuminated eyes look to her, "it's what i have to do; i don't want them to be afraid anymore."

[bebs-art-gallery]

Art by Matteo Moni

[compassneedle]

@collossvs / closed.

"i tried to do better," words spoken softly, as akaza sits alone in the snow, "and i tried to make things right."

however, there's a tightness in his chest that refuses to disappear.

"but i don't — i don't know where to go from here," and then, "i miss you."

[compassneedle]

“ Are you trying to start a fight? ”

questions only sentence starters. / accepting!

"i'm trying to end one," spoken firmly, and yet very coldly. a lot had come to pass since the battle at infinity castle — inosuke was not without his wounds, and akaza bore the weight of that.

akaza doesn't step forward. instead, he stands like a statue — left outside in the nighttime snow.

"i won't expect you to forgive me," never, never, never — not after everything he'd done, "but i won't leave without letting my intentions be known."

"i don't want to live as his weapon anymore," he continues, "so i won't. i won't let myself bend like that — never again."

golden eyes, still so illuminated in the dark, look to inosuke's.

"i will live my own life. and above all, i will make things right."

[compassneedle]

“ What happens if I don’t let you go? ”

questions only sentence starters. / accepting!

"…" and there was a particular tug of a heart string; years of being left in corpses' ash and dust, feeling so much death on his hands that he couldn't remember for so long. it was both instinct to push the love away and stab it into him — he didn't want to hurt anymore, but what would happen if he loved her?

would everything repeat, again and again?

"i don't want you to die," an honest confession spoken from a mournful tongue, "what would i do if you died…?"

[compassneedle]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔?

earth. you beautiful, beautiful being. you are the essence of growth and change. you are constantly evolving and developing and that in itself is something to be celebrated. you are possibility, unpredictability, and spontaneity all wrapped into one super cool amalgamation of a person. you’re so friendly and, honestly, easy to love. the way you feel emotions and experience life is implicitly real, in a way most people struggle to be. you know how to enjoy a moment for what it is and are especially good at cherishing the little things. people just like being around you. you have a way of breathing life into things that need it. renewing places and reinvigorating people. you make people feel grounded but also want more. like jumping off the swingset and flying a few moments before being reclaimed by gravity. you’re simultaneously searching for home and something greater. you are randomly deciding to get food at 1am. first day of school friends. adopting a stray because you know no one else will take care of it. personalized gifts. keeping small momentos like movie ticket stubs. the type to bring food of the whole class. the type to believe in ‘if I win, we all win’. you embody both ambition and greed. your longing for new people and places and things can lead to an insatiable, conquering, hunger if not kept under control. know that contentedness is not your enemy. you are like dancing—like discovery. you are dynamic and elastic. supportive and nourishing—not in an obvious way but in a sustainable way. you are the spirit of perseverance. you're willing to forsake comfortability and do what it takes to make something happen. you are nostalgia and forward-looking at the same time. you are a reminder of why change is good.

tagged by: @tsukkiakarii tagging: you!

[tsukkiakarii]

SHE CAN FEEL THAT WARMTH indeed, radiating against her as she nuzzles against akaza's cheek. in a bout of cheekiness, kokushibō lightly licks his cheek before leaning back just enough to see her lover's face--in all his flushed glory.

"what do you think? does your flower suit me?"

teasing him and teasing him, yet lingering so near still. she knows the hound may bite, yet kokushibō knows he won't: not against her. only then does she finally seem to have some mercy upon him, placing a surprisingly soft kiss upon akaza's lips. "--thank you, aka-chan."

[compassneedle]

and eyes squeeze shut at the lick — looking like he was mere moments from exploding in a bout of fireworks. nose wrinkles and lips pull tight, instinctively threatening to bare his teeth as kiss is pressed to his lips — however, he quickly corrects any aggressive expression he carries.

as they part, he looks to her in a moment of softness.

"…anything suits you," he says openly, "you're beautiful."

a pause.

"—can you do anything to stop the flower from wilting?"

[compassneedle]

tryna get back into making art

[rabbitprose]

rattles my cage. inbox call.

[tsukkiakarii]

SHE IS FAMILIAR WITH HIS NATURE, a presence as constant and unflinching as the moon above them. his place next to her is comforting, and so kokushibō doesn't feel the urge to be alert next to him: a sign of trust in akaza. thus, it takes a moment before she notices the way he has paused and lingered with the flower in his hand--somehow, her purr sounds rather amused at akaza's conundrum.

but kokushibō finally moves, using a soft headbutt to akaza's hand to place the stem into her hair herself, albeit clumsily.

--and then uses the closed distance to nuzzle akaza's cheek in wordless praise and affection.

[compassneedle]

and a soft grunt of surprise leaves him — she had audacity, always. it was expected (and yet miraculously still surprising) of her to bump the flower into her hair, but regardless, when seeing the flower he'd picked in her hair,

akaza turns red as a beet.

…could she feel the heat on his cheeks as she nuzzled into him? it made his face burn ever-more fiercely.