@compulsived - Tumblr Blog

twenty one | it / its, ae / aer | white | queer; aroacespec transsexual | bpd, ocd, depression, anxiety…

vent blog. i do my best to tag everything— if you need something specific tagged, let me know.

feel free to spam like/reblog.

terfs / tehms / gender critical stop interacting. i am trans & i stand with my trans sisters, siblings, & brothers

🇵🇸 from the river, to the sea 🇵🇸

“but it wasn’t that bad”

did it hurt? did you feel scared? unsafe? were you embarrassed? humiliated? terrified? did you feel confused on why? does it keep you up at night? do you avoid being in a similar situation? did you cry? did you want to cry? who told you it wasn’t that bad?

#mother #father

x4ver1a-deactivated20251026

#cw sex mention #tw sexual theme #tw sexualisation #the cycle of feeling so lonely to going on hookup apps then feeling disgusted with yourself #and deleting them then feeling so lonely again and—

when (one of) your parents finally starts showing a sign that they are putting effort in to understand you but you realize it’s too little too late and you don’t even want a relationship with them anymore.

#had a therapy session w my mother the other day and holy shit.#i realized i cannot wait twenty years for this woman to understand me #and that i just need to do what is right for me and let her catch up.#otherwise i’ll be stuck being so unhappy with myself #for years and decades

hel7l7

THERE'S SO MUCH WRONG WITH ME THAT I CAN'T SEEM TO FIX

#m

when you’re so depressed the only thing that makes you smile is your phone. like jesus christ what am i, twelve again?

moonlitfairytale

Natalie Wee, Least of all

Simone de Beauvoir, from a letter to Jean-Paul Sartre (Paris, 21 February 1941)

#m

derangedrhythms

What comforted me was the prospect of oblivion after death. The thought of an afterlife frightened and fatigued me. I had never been able to adapt myself to the world in which I was now living. Of what use would another world be to me?

Sadeq Hedayat, The Blind Owl and Other Stories; from 'The Blind Owl', tr. D. P. Costello

#m #tw death mention #cw death mention

traumatizedjaguar-deactivated20

"The guilt that people feel about what their parents may have gone through is a classic symptom of being an adult child of emotionally immature parents. They go over the boundary of what is their responsibility, worrying about the feelings and the needs and the life of other people because thats what emotionally immature parents teach their children to do. They teach their children to take care of them and to be worried about what other people need. The parent has not matured to the point where they can take care of themselves let alone a child. They're demanding that from their children, so its not surprising that the child would end up feeling guilty about any that distress the parent, and feel responsible for that because thats what their childhood would be set up to do."

Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD

#mother #father

traumatizedjaguar-deactivated20

#mother #father

cannot get over how i didn’t get to choose to who i was born, where i came from. long before i even took my first breath on this planet i was at the mercy of people who could never have given me what i needed. i was a baby, a toddler, and i couldn’t force anyone to love me or treat me with care. nobody’s perfect but damn, you couldn’t even love me half the time? how could you hit a person so small? how could you scream at such a tiny face? how could you make a little kid feel the way i felt?

#mother #father #my therapist talked about this in session today & it just stuck w me #like damn. no child ever gets to choose. every infant is just at the mercy of their guardian/s and simply has to hope they care for them #right.#tw parental abuse #tw parental neglect #tw abuse