ADD in Relationships
Getting very personal and completely honest about being in a relationship with someone that has ADD or as it’s now called ADHD (correct me if I’m wrong)
The day I met my boyfriend was a complete risk on my part and a little act of fate. We fell for each other fast and hard and have been completely attached since that day. I’ll tell that story in a different post :) So anyways he has been diagnosed with ADD. It came up and honestly I just kinda pushed it under the rug literally not thinking twice. The last few days we’ve hit a rough patch, a combination of stress and obstacles (thankfully we are now happy and okay!). However during this time i somehow ended up looking up ADD and how it affects relationships. The stats are scary (ignore ignore ignore), but I was actually surprised at how much I learned and how much suddenly made perfect sense. The most important things for me are to learn as much as I possibly can so I can make it easier instead of harder. It’s so important to realize that distractions and forgetfulness are normal. Quite a few of our arguments have come from sudden mood changes that I didn’t understand. One of the main things the last few days is that he’s stressed and overwhelmed and he tried to shut me out. It made me feel uncared for because he stopped being as affectionate as usual. When I brought it up he apologized and said he didn’t even realize that’s the way it was making me feel. Then I found this “you may feel lonely, ignored, and unappreciated” bingo. A lovely part of ADD. At this point we just need to keep up our communication which we are very good at. I need to be less sensitive and realize that some things just will be. We just need to have an understanding. I know it won’t be easy, but it’s worth it.
The truth of how I feel. Well I love this man with all my heart for exactly who he is, NO MATTER WHAT. Super honest thoughts starting now. I think when I realized just how much this is affecting and will affect our relationship, I was terrified. Fear was the first thing I felt. Followed by doubt in myself. Am I strong enough to do this, to keep up for the rest of my life with something that will be an obstacle? and something I hate admitting, why did this happen to us? Why couldn’t it be simple and boring and not complicated. and then I realized this happened for a reason. He needs me. To be his number one fan and support system. To inspire him to push past his demons and fight through every obstacle. He needs me more than I need him. So sure I could have a perfect, boring relationship. But I don’t want that. I want my perfectly imperfect relationship with the love of my life. I was meant to fall in love with this human being, and it’s special that I can change his life. We are gonna be okay <3
If you read all this then thank you! I would love to hear from anyone going through the same thing. Or if it’s reverse and you’re the one with ADD. Hearing success stories & getting advice has been super helpful & support is always amazing. Tell me how it’s affected your relationships and how it’s made you grow. I’d really love for some of you to reach out to me :)
