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[confessionsfromsomebody-blog]

It’s been a while

Hello dearest internet diary. The diary that I haven’t even written for in a year. Time flies, i guess. I really meant to write but, ya know, when you’re automatically logged in with another account it’s simply easier to just go with that and not post in your super secret internet diary that is not really secret but secret to those who know you in real life.

Anyways, here are some updates on my life that i really did not expect a year ago:

I came out to my family as gay. That’s the biggest thing i’ve done. I was out to a few friends before this blog, but not to my family. I was crying, but my parents were really nice about it. We don’t mention it often, probably since i don’t have a girlfriend or anything, but it’s nice to know that they know.

I started at a new school, so i’m basically back to one when it comes to friends. I have a few already, but i’m not out to them, and don’t know if i will be for the first while. (They are really oblivious to the fact i’m not straight)

I have great queer friends! All of them are a little younger than me, so i’m basically the gay mother. They’re great and like memes and shit, something i didn’t really find in other friends elsewhere.

I am currently happy with where my life is going.

[confessionsfromsomebody-blog]

Insecurities

Hello dearest internet dairy. Today I will talk about body insecurities. 

You know how the movies tell you that being insecure is all about looking into the mirror and thinking “I’m too fat”, or pinching at the blub and looking at it in disgust? Maybe someone feels insecure like that, but I’m guessing I’m not the only one that doesn’t. I guess it’s easier to show that instead of all the small things. The small things are what makes me insecure. 

Like:

Realizing your favorite shirt doesn’t fit anymore because your stomach is too big

Not finding a skirt in your size at the store

Trying on a skirt in the biggest size, only to realize you can’t pull it over your hips

Noticing that you use larger sizes than your mom, even though you’re just 4 cm taller than her

Going up a size (especially if you go up to the XL areas, cause it means you’re not even just large, you’re extra large)

Pants not fitting anymore, even though you’re not even taller than before

(And this one is stupid, but) Having to buy a new bra in a bigger size

Yeah, so one of these happened today, and i felt awful. But I watched Ocean’s 8 and don’t feel as awful anymore. But these are some of the things that make me insecure about my body.

Peace in, goodbye

[confessionsfromsomebody-blog]

Feeling horrible of all things

Good morning or good afternoon or whatever. Right here its 5 pm, so I guess it’s afternoon. Yo guess what dear internet diary. I’m feeling horrible! Bad news amiright?

 Nah it’s because of intense workout (for me at least) after summer. Yeah so now my legs are stiff and it feels like I’m being bashed by a giant hammer at the same time. Bad feeling. So yeah that’s all I have to offer to this post. JK I’m also feeling kinda awesome cause my crush, (who i originally made this account to cope with, I’m dealing with FeelingsTM) complimented my shirt. YEAH! And she’s not even the type to give compliments. So I’m happy and sore. 

BYE I’M GONNA FIND MORE SHIRTS IN THIS COLOR

[confessionsfromsomebody-blog]

Not looking like me

Do you ever get that feeling, when you look in the mirror, that it doesn’t look like you? That’s me, most of the time. It’s not like i don’t feel like the person in the mirror is me, its more like: “this is me, but it doesn’t look right”.

Maybe it’s a mood thing. Or maybe it’s just the clothes i wear on certain days that aren’t really my style. But today. Today with my favorite shirt on, and a god mood in general. Today, I looked like myself. And it felt good.

[confessionsfromsomebody-blog]

Feeling like doing nothing

yeah it’s summer and all. Most people sit down and do nothing. But most people also do something, whether it be swimming, going for walks or doing some shopping. You know what i did, while being 100 feet from a pool and in close proximity to beaches, and small and big cities? Nothing. I had no energy at all. I forgot my computer at home, and sometimes i really wanted to write on this blog, but guess what? i probably wouldn’t have done it if i had brought my computer. I don’t even know why.

 I feel this way a lot. Feel like doing nothing, sitting down or laying down all day. What can i even do about it?

[confessionsfromsomebody-blog]

Not sick, not actually healthy

So i was not sick, but it turns out i have a bigger health problem: Dangerously low blood percentage. Now, how can one have dangerously low amounts of blood, I must be over-exaggerating? No. Or maybe just a bit. But when i tell you it was low it was low. Blood percentage is supposed to be between 13 and 15 at my age. Well. Mine was 8.8. WAY too low. So now I’m taking iron supplements and a lot of other stuff to balance my blood out. Yay, problem solved.

[confessionsfromsomebody-blog]

Being sick really sucks

And some stuff about doctor who I guess.

I’ve been sick for the past two days, like really dizzy and nauseous, sore throat, you know the deal. Well, it sucks. Even when I’m writing this my head is hurting sooo bad. Yesterday I was freezing, now I’m awfully hot. I really never know what’s coming next, and I’m also like really tired? not the good tired but the bad tired where you feel you haven’t done anything yet you just want to lay or sit down. 

And season 4 of New Who? Honestly all the feels in the final. BBC why’d you have to wrong me like that? Making me cry so hard my dad came in to ask if I was okay and when I told him I was watching Doctor Who he kinda laughed and said he didn’t know it could be sad. But. it is sO SAD. David Tennant was never my favorite Doctor, but hey, he nailed the role. Gave me all the feels when I watched his monologue about him deserving better. Why can’t ALL the doctors just continue living happily beside each other forever? Huh? BBC EXPLAIN

[confessionsfromsomebody-blog]

Sad days

Sometimes I get really sad for literally no reason, and I don’t really wanna do anything about it?

I sometimes think I should see a therapist or psychiatrist, but my parents aren’t all that about it. They call it normal teenage feelings... or something. But idk, I guess I’m just trying to say that I’m sad and don’t wanna be sad but it’s not that easy

[confessionsfromsomebody-blog]

Bicycles

Today i was biking to school and it got me really thinking. Like, Bicycles are such an amazing invention? it’s faster than walking, but its also less tiring? and environmentally friendly? and, like, bikes are also really old? I don’t know when they were invented but it’s like a really long time ago? Sorry, I am just amazed by bicycles.

[confessionsfromsomebody-blog]

Welcome to a blog inspired by everything

Or “Love, Simon”, whatever. Because that movie was golden. Gonna read the book soon, i hope. 

Okay this is kinda scary. I literally created a new e-mail adress for this, so that i couldn’t be traced. And i excuse any bad grammar mistakes with the fact that I am not English or American. 

Introductions aside, this is my blog, for me to vent, rant, talk, etc. About te small stuff. Or the big stuff. Thank you for visiting, leave a message if you like, anything.