Foster Parent Confessional

a place for foster/adoptive parents to come and relate to one another and to educate those who are interested in fostering or knowing what it's like aside from the false impression you get from the media come and join the discussion!

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Back up, running, and taking confessions

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I don't like my kids today. At all. And I hate that I can't talk about the negative side of things on my blog without being attacked. I just want to be aloud to have bad days sometimes.

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At what point do I draw the line of whether to maintain a placement or not? I don't know whether I should keep holding on to the hope of the behaviors getting better or send them on in the hopes that someone else can handle it better than me.

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Do I go out of my way to send pictures to be passed on to bios of the kids in their costumes? They aren't going out of their way to to be apart of things with the kids. Do I do it anyway?

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It pisses me off how ugly and mean the bio family is towards me. If this were my birth child, I would be so thankful to whoever stepped up when I couldn't. I know it's jealousy underneath it all, but still. Just be grateful, geeze.

Boy have I been there!

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I feel like if my kids ever get to adoption I'll really suck at having an open adoption with their bios. The dad gives me the creeps and mom is just annoying. I know they love their kids and I want an open adoption but I don't see it working.

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FPQOTD #5:

Kids often come into our homes having experienced verbal and emotional abuse. What habits or conversation do you incorporate into your parenting to help rebuild their self esteem and confidence?

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I think it's so unfair that bios come to appointments with foster parents without a worker present. Certain bios constantly criticize my parenting at appointments, but since that isn't breaking any big rules, the CW doesn't do anything.

I wonder how typical it is for workers to not be present in different states. Where I live, I've only heard of workers attending if the bios are really confrontational to where it's a safety concern. I would always document it though if I were you and never stop telling your caseworker what is said to you on appointments!

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FPQOTD #4

What are your 3 favorite foster blogs that you would suggest to a friend that is considering fostering?

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I hate when I tell people I'm a foster parent and I get a "oh are any of them yours?". Um yes, they are all mine. I'd much rather it be worded "are any of them your biological children". People have no idea how rude they come off in front of the kids

Yes!

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Does anyone know what ever happened to a certain blogger from New Orleans who had Mr. T?

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Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry! I got busy and just haven’t blogged in awhile. Mr. T is doing Fan-freaking-tastic. He’s a happy, well adjusted and outgoing little guy. He turns 2 in a couple months. TWO! I can’t believe it. He doesn’t look like a baby anymore, but looking more and more like a little boy. 

I harbor absolutely no ill will towards Mr. T’s birth parents. I know they love him a whole lot and were frightened when they made the threats. 

TPR did happen about a month ago. Mr. T’s birth dad wrote a letter to him that I have saved in a sealed envelope for when he’s older. I was able to give his birth parents some mementos and a brief letter stating that we adore their son and will do our best to take care of him and raise a strong, caring man. I hope it helps them, because I know they must be mourning.

I am so sorry I haven’t written. Since TPR, I have had to scramble for child care as well as work Mandatory overtime at my job since I’m a Hospital Coder and ICD-10 actually happened (it’s a big thing in my industry that was like the Y2K of my career). But we are doing great and cannot wait for adoption and to make it official that Mr. T can stay with us. 

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So happy for you guys!

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It's okay to say no

@parentingpete

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Does anyone know what ever happened to a certain blogger from New Orleans who had Mr. T?

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None of this is about you

@mariarussell26

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You have to admit your privilege and then use it to the benefit of your children

@mixed-beginnings