Breakups are messy, messier still with the presence of social media. There are more emotional minefields to wade through, and worse, breakups now are less private with friends and frenemies alike aware about the details of your love life. A simple relationship status change in Facebook elicits a lot of (inappropriate or appropriate) Likes and comments (*sad face*, "Oh, no, what happened?", "Let's beat him up!" , *hugs*) that you are sometimes not ready for.
Should you unfriend?
Can you really be Facebook friends with a freshly-exed ex? Answer the following questions:
1) Can you handle seeing him post photos of himself with a new girlfriend?
2) Are you able to see his status updates on your feed without feeling the urge to comment (just as a "friend") or Like?
3) Can you spend one day without obsessing over his new updates?
If you answered "No" to at least one or two questions, then maybe it's better to unfriend him for now—or at least until you can see his name pop up on your feed without wanting to burst into tears, or down two pints of double chocolate chip ice cream.
Delete or keep?
If you're the sentimental type who keeps every minute souvenir of your relationship, then chances are your social network feed is littered with the remains of your failed relationship. If your breakup was a bitter and angry one, chances are your first instinct will be to delete everything and purge your ex's existence from your online space. While purging is good for the digestive system, purging your entire history with your ex may not be such a good idea.
Some photos and e-mails can evoke happy memories or places completely unrelated to your ex, it's just that remembering them now brings up the fresh pain of the breakup so you may not want to see it. Someday, though, when the wounds have healed, you may want to look fondly on places you've been to, even if it's with your ex. Just make sure to store all these photos and e-mails in an archive folder hidden deep in your hard drive while you're still trying to get over him.
Ex marks the block
Magazine editor Dean (not his real name) says that when he and his ex broke up they immediately blocked each other on Twitter and Instagram—but not after having a passive-aggressive Twitter war first. "We realized it was putting our friends in an awkward position of having to take sides and in the end, we decided to block each other for our own benefit," he says. Blocking each other may seem extreme, but it can be an effective way of drawing a clear line between you and your ex.
Change your password
Whenever you're in a relationship, you never expect to break up, so you end up sharing intimate details with each other, sometimes even your passwords to Facebook, Twitter and even e-mail. Make sure to change your passwords immediately after a breakup to ensure that no snooping goes on behind your back, and offer your ex the same courtesy by staying out of his inbox.
Change your privacy settings
Sure, you've gotten a new hot hairstyle and an even hotter wardrobe and you want nothing more than to make your ex regret the breakup, but sometimes the mystery of not knowing is more agonizing. Spare him the opportunity to casually drop in on you virtually by enhancing your privacy settings. This will also help "cocoon" you among supportive friends.
"Curiosity check"
We're only human, and it is natural to want to find out who's winning in the "I'm doing better than you" game with the ex. Make sure to limit your "curiosity checks" on him/her to once a month, and have a friend with you when you do decide to check in on your ex for moral support.
Be the better person, not the bitter one
Ranting is fine the first few days, sure, but if you find yourself uploading a status update bashing your ex habitually, hold off the publish button and think about it for a while. Nothing can be gained over spewing your bitterness about the breakup online, except maybe have your ex think he dodged a crazy bullet, you being the crazy bullet.
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