Confessions of a Retail Princess

20-something manager at your local drug store, shitting on everyone.

[would-u-like-ur-milk-in-a-bag]

[somanybadcustomers-deactivated2]

A customer comes in and grabs me, saying she needs to do an exchange. 

Customer: I came in here a while ago and bought some lipstick but it was the wrong color, so I wanted to do an exchange.

Me: Okay, what was the brand and color you needed?

Customer: *tells me* But you never have the color! I come in here all the time and you never have it!

Me: Okay, let me go over and check if we have it.

Customer: NO! I ALREADY LOOKED AND YOU DON’T HAVE IT.

Me: …Let me go check, ma’am.

I go over to look while she’s yelling at me that we don’t have it. I look at all the top lipsticks and the color isn’t listed. I look at the bottom shelf and see the color.

Me: Okay, so it’s the (type of) (brand) lipsticks.

Customer: NO.

Me: *grabs the number&color she wants* Yes it is, this is it.

Customer: NO IT’S NOT. THAT’S NOT THE RIGHT ONE. *snatches it from me and reads it outloud* …I guess this is it. 

Me: Okay.

Customer: WELL WHY WOULD YOU KEEP IT AT THE BOTTOM. DO YOU NOT WANT PEOPLE TO BUY IT?!?!?!

Me: We don’t set up how our inventory is, ma’am. Corporate sends us a planogram with how the store is supposed to look.

Customer: *sarcastically* Oh really? Corporate tells you how to set up the store?

Me: Yep. Anyway, that’s your color.

Customer: I want two.

Me: Okay. *bends down and grabs another*

Customer: *snatches it from me*

Note that at this point, I’m holding her old ones, and she has the new ones.

Customer: So just switch them out for me and I’ll take these.

I remembered another customer who ran off with the new item, without doing a proper exchange, and I wasn’t going to let that happen again.

Me: *takes the lipsticks from her* Okay ma’am, just let me do this exchange through the register first.

Customer: *glares at me*

So I go to do the exchange and scan her receipt. It’s from 2 months ago, so it says she can only get store credit back for the amount she paid, if she wants a refund. I do the exchange and it says she owes money, since the items are no longer on sale and they’re more expensive than what she paid.

Me: Okay, ma’am, so it says you owe $X.XX.

Customer: WHAT?! WHY?

Me: You got them on sale when you bought them, but the return value is $X.XX. These are regular price now.

Customer:THIS IS WHY I TOLD YOU TO JUST LET ME TAKE THE NEW ONES AND PUT THE ONES I HAD BACK ON THE SHELF. THEN WE WOULDN’T HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS SHIT.

Me: Okay, ma’am, well the store has policies and procedures I have to go through for returns.

Customer: *starts laughing* OH REALLY. PROCEDURES?

Me: Yes and I could get in trouble if I don’t do them.

Customer: *laughing even more*

Me: *getting a bit irritated* I would rather not be fired. I like my job.

Customer: Oh REALLY? You LIKE your job?

Me: Mhm. ^-^

Customer: *tilts head back and laughs like a madwoman* 

Me: Okay, let me get someone to do this. *starts to walk away*

Customer: WHERE ARE YOU GOING

Me: *keeps walking*

I go to my assistant store manager and tell him that I have a very rude customer that I’m not going to deal with.

He goes to deal with her.

Manager: What do you need, ma’am?

Customer: *changes her attitude and acts pitiful* I was just trying to do a return and she won’t let me just take the new item, she said she had to do it through the system and now it says I owe money!

Manager: *looks at her receipt and sees it’s from two months ago* Okay, ma’am, well this receipt is from two months ago. Since it’s over 30 days old and you got them on sale, we can’t give you back the full retail price.

Customer: THEN CHANGE THE PRICES OF THE ONES I WANT TO EXCHANGE THEM FOR.

Manager: They’re not on sale now, ma’am, so we can’t do that. If you had return these before 30 days, we could have done that for you, but since you waited too long, we can’t change the price.

Customer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ARE YOU LYING TO ME?

Manager: Why would I lie to you, ma’am.

At this point I went to help another customer, and my manager got the bitch we dealt with to pay the difference between her lipsticks. 

I was shaking at the end of the ordeal because of how angry she made me. Especially when she laughed at me saying I liked my job.

Why the fuck would you wait two months to realize you bought the wrong color lipsticks.

And you laugh at cashiers who work in retail, but you’re the one who’s going in there to buy your fucking lipsticks

I hope you realize what a piece of shit you are, you fucking bitch

[confessionsofaretailprincess]

UGH. THIS. ALL THE TIME. EVERY DAY.

[about15minutes]

"why are you in such a bad mood after work"

[confessionsofaretailprincess]

So, your bill is due TODAY and you came in TODAY and bought this gift card to pay your bill and the website that you used to pay the bill doesn’t accept the card and now you want a refund even though it’s posted next to the cards that we don’t do refunds on these cards and the cashier told you when you rang out that the card was non-refundable BUT YOU’RE YELLING AT ME ANYWAY BECAUSE YOUR PAYMENT IS GOING TO BE LATE AND ALL YOUR MONEY IS ON THAT CARD.

It would be different if for some reason there was an accident and your money didn’t go on to the card. Sure, I’d love to refund your money. But, that’s not the case. Your money is on there. The card is not “broken.” I can’t just give you some cash out of the register. I CAN’T HELP THAT YOU DIDN’T CHECK TO SEE WHAT THE WEBSITE WOULD ACCEPT BEFORE YOU BOUGHT THE CARD. You’d think that since you waited until the last minute to take care of this, you’d at least make sure that you knew what you were doing.

I've had a bank account since I was 16. With checks! And debit card! That I can use to pay bills! And like, you’re 40 years old. You’ve got kids in the store with you. How do you not have a bank account?

Nsasoqiygbjdbwjqjgfgj

[pleasefireme]

Please fire me. Two guys came up to my register. Guy #1 looks at me and demands I print a gift receipt. I do so after the transaction is complete, hand him his change, and he says, “Is this the gift receipt?” I say yes and he responds with, ”Good girl.”

[confessionsofaretailprincess]

THE WORST. A combination of creepy and condescending that belongs in ~Hell.

[whywehateyou]

We hate you because you think there is nothing wrong with handing us your form of payment after putting it in your mouth.

[confessionsofaretailprincess]

Yes, you are the only person in Missouri who buys the New York Times.

My store only gets a couple copies of The New York Times every week. I work in a smaller, more rural town...it doesn't sell. Apparently we sold both of our copies this week. Customer: Where is the New York Times? Me: I'm sorry, we keep it there, we must have sold through it already. Customer: Impossible. I'm the only one who buys it. Where is it? Me: Well, the spot is empty...either the person who delivers didn't bring it or we sold out. Customer: BUT I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO BUYS IT.

[confessionsofaretailprincess]

I have a co-worker that is an actual monster. She must be destroyed.

[ironychan]

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: When you treat retail employees like shit, you become an instant joke. You are the story they tell over coffee to make their friends and family laugh at the idiot. You are the person they mimic in a squeaky voice.

Next time you want to yell at a retail employee, imagine them repeating what you are about to say in a squeaky voice. Because that will be your legacy.

[confessionsofaretailprincess]

A real thing that happened today.

I took a phone call from a customer that went like this... Customer: Do you sell umbrellas for rain? I need an umbrella. It's going to rain. Me: (in my head) For rain? As opposed to...? Me: (out loud) Absolutely! Customer: What kind? Me: (in my head) ??????? Me: (out loud) Well, we carry a variety of sizes. Are you wanting prices? Customer: Well, I need to know what kind. It's going to rain. Me: Okay, let me go take a look and see what we have. I'm going to put you on hold, give me just a minute. Customer: It's going to rain. Me: Alright, sorry about your wait. We've got sizes ranging from children's umbrellas all the way up to beach umbrellas. They range from $7.99 for the smaller ones to $25.99 for larger ones. Customer: So, you're sure you have umbrellas? What's your name? I need your name in case I come up there and you're wrong and there aren't any umbrellas. ....................

[with-grace-and-guts]

[sduckyz]

Customer: What is that?

Me: Rude customers.

[confessionsofaretailprincess]

:)

[would-u-like-ur-milk-in-a-bag]

[confessionsofaretailprincess]

MY LIFE.

[its-mcdonalds-life-blog]

Customer: "...I'M NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN! AND YOU CAN TELL YOUR MANAGERS THEY LOST MONEY TODAY!"

Me: 

[confessionsofaretailprincess]

Here's a little secret... The managers don't want you back. If you're going to be rude to our employees and cause a scene, we don't want your money anyway.

[confessionsofaretailprincess]

My other favorite thing.

When I go back to unlock the restrooms and people tell me why they need to go in there. "That coffee just went right through me! Teehee!" "I've gotta #2 like you wouldn't believe, man." I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR BOWEL MOVEMENTS, BRO. JUST SAY THANK YOU AND MOVE ON.

[confessionsofaretailprincess]

My favorite thing.

We keep the restrooms locked at our store because we're open 24 hours. It's a safety thing...we don't want people hiding in there, sleeping in there, etc. There are TWO signs posted outside of the restrooms that say, "RESTROOMS ARE LOCKED. PLEASE ASK FOR ASSISTANCE." It never fails though, everyday there's a new customer back in that hallway jiggling the door handle going, "what is wrong with this thing?!" Like seriously, read the sign. It's right in front of your face.

[confessionsofaretailprincess]

I had to cover an overnight shift last night (after already working an eight hour day) because the overnight manager called off BECAUSE SHE HAD A MIGRAINE.

Is this real life? I have a migraine every day. I hate you.