[confusionperfected]

Dreaming of the mountains, while being a slave to society..,.

[frutiguro]

[confusionperfected]

Signs of winter..

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Donte Collins

[hatin]

via weheartit

[confusionperfected]

Living with a narcissistic mother as a child is incredibly hard. Living with one as an adult is incredibly hard and painful. The anger and guilt are interwoven, tangled within me. It makes me feel like an utter piece of shit, scum on the floor.

[confusionperfected]

Being surrounded by the mountains makes me whole..

Black Cap Mountain - Conway, New Hampshire

[confusionperfected]

Eat me up inside

Grinding my teeth to a pulp

Scream with a closed mouth

[confusionperfected]

The cycle of speaking for what I need but feeling extreme guilt

for even saying anything because you were doing something nice. But I’ve asked you not to do said thing, or to double check with me about said thing to make sure it was done correctly. It’s not asking a lot but at the same time I feel like an awful, evil child.. daughter.. who complains about everything and is ungrateful. But when you’ve expressed something again and again, yet it gets ignored again and again… it’s not fair. It’s not right for any adult to treat another that way whether it’s my parent or not. She’s a bad roommate at this point. I need to leave, so I can miss her. I need to leave, so I can want to be around her and talk to her casually again. Being here has me stuck as a child, her child. Not a fully grown women less than a year from 30. Not my own person that I’ve formed over the years. I’m bound here. Chained. To the desire to be free and the guilt for wanting it… needing it. It pains me and saddens me but I still have hope. One day this guilt will fade and I’ll learn to stand strong in myself against her.

[confusionperfected]

White Mountains of New Hampshire - July 2024

[confusionperfected]

I’m just not happy

But what does that even mean?

Don’t want to be here

[thoughtkick]

“I withdraw from people and places from time to time. I need space from a world that is filled with millions of mouths that talk too much but never have anything to say.”

— Kaitlin Foster

[confusionperfected]

“My sensitivity is my strength” I scream to the heavens as I cry and wish to be anybody else.

[confusionperfected]

The chain starts to break

Holding me down, stuck to you

I will free myself

[confusionperfected]

To be human is

Pain, beauty, loss, growth; repeat

Help me understand

[missinyouiskillingme]

Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.

— George R. R. Martin

[confusionperfected]

Who I am is not

The worst person to exist

I’m doing my best