Nerdy little guy.

Cringe among us oc warning!!

[conifer-the-crewmate]

Hello. I am Conifer. I am a botanist currently situated on Polus. I request that my fellow crew mates leave me be as well as they can. I tend to work much better alone.

[OK new pinned woohoo!! They/it for Connie(yes, you can call them Connie, but they probably won’t like it much). It’s aroace like mod. Uh yeah. Literally just a crew mate with an odd moral compass and a fascination with plants]

[conifer-the-crewmate]

I don’t “deserve” anything. Nothing good or bad. No one does. We’re all just organisms trying to achieve our desires. The only exception to this is every human on this ship(aside from I), as they all deserve to burn eternally.

[when-the-crewmate-is-stupid]

white boy what the heck are you talking about

[conifer-the-crewmate]

*It flinches, releasing a frightened squeak.*

None of your business. And I am no boy.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

I don’t “deserve” anything. Nothing good or bad. No one does. We’re all just organisms trying to achieve our desires. The only exception to this is every human on this ship(aside from I), as they all deserve to burn eternally.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

Hello!

@polar-navigator

What do you need?

*It is clutching a disproportionately large pot with a young sundew growing inside.*

[polar-navigator]

Oh! Wow, your plant is big.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

No. Her home is.

[polar-navigator]

She still looks kind of big? I don’t know much about plant though.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

You quite evidently don't know shit about plants. Disappointingly.

[polar-navigator]

That’s why it’s your job and not mine! Did you name her?

[conifer-the-crewmate]

No.. Why do you ask?

[polar-navigator]

It would be cool. Maybe uhhh… Sunny?

[conifer-the-crewmate]

That is incredibly uncreative. What do you want me to do for you?

[polar-navigator]

I don’t know. Just wanted to check in on morale and stuff because of the whole… bodies being found thing.

…thought it was over

[conifer-the-crewmate]

I really don’t care about that.

[polar-navigator]

Alright. I’m not like… a therapist or anything but check in with me if anything’s going on and I’ll see if I can get anything from MIRA.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

I don’t need anything? This does not disrupt my workflow whatsoever. I am fine.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

Hello!

@polar-navigator

What do you need?

*It is clutching a disproportionately large pot with a young sundew growing inside.*

[polar-navigator]

Oh! Wow, your plant is big.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

No. Her home is.

[polar-navigator]

She still looks kind of big? I don’t know much about plant though.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

You quite evidently don't know shit about plants. Disappointingly.

[polar-navigator]

That’s why it’s your job and not mine! Did you name her?

[conifer-the-crewmate]

No.. Why do you ask?

[polar-navigator]

It would be cool. Maybe uhhh… Sunny?

[conifer-the-crewmate]

That is incredibly uncreative. What do you want me to do for you?

[polar-navigator]

I don’t know. Just wanted to check in on morale and stuff because of the whole… bodies being found thing.

…thought it was over

[conifer-the-crewmate]

I really don’t care about that.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

Hello!

@polar-navigator

What do you need?

*It is clutching a disproportionately large pot with a young sundew growing inside.*

[polar-navigator]

Oh! Wow, your plant is big.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

No. Her home is.

[polar-navigator]

She still looks kind of big? I don’t know much about plant though.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

You quite evidently don't know shit about plants. Disappointingly.

[polar-navigator]

That’s why it’s your job and not mine! Did you name her?

[conifer-the-crewmate]

No.. Why do you ask?

[polar-navigator]

It would be cool. Maybe uhhh… Sunny?

[conifer-the-crewmate]

That is incredibly uncreative. What do you want me to do for you?

[conifer-the-crewmate]

Hello!

@polar-navigator

What do you need?

*It is clutching a disproportionately large pot with a young sundew growing inside.*

[polar-navigator]

Oh! Wow, your plant is big.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

No. Her home is.

[polar-navigator]

She still looks kind of big? I don’t know much about plant though.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

You quite evidently don't know shit about plants. Disappointingly.

[polar-navigator]

That’s why it’s your job and not mine! Did you name her?

[conifer-the-crewmate]

No.. Why do you ask?

[storm-of-the-swarm]

(they checked the dash) they checked the tumblr dash

(the tumblr dash) it was a hellsite blast

(they checked the dash) shitposts hit 10k in a flash

(they checked the dash) they checked the tumblr dash

[conifer-the-crewmate]

Hello!

@polar-navigator

What do you need?

*It is clutching a disproportionately large pot with a young sundew growing inside.*

[polar-navigator]

Oh! Wow, your plant is big.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

No. Her home is.

[polar-navigator]

She still looks kind of big? I don’t know much about plant though.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

You quite evidently don't know shit about plants. Disappointingly.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

Hello!

@polar-navigator

What do you need?

*It is clutching a disproportionately large pot with a young sundew growing inside.*

[polar-navigator]

Oh! Wow, your plant is big.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

No. Her home is.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

Hello!

@polar-navigator

What do you need?

*It is clutching a disproportionately large pot with a young sundew growing inside.*

[conifer-the-crewmate]

*Conifer stares into a blinding loading screen, impatiently tapping its desk at an increasingly faster and faster rate.*

I apologize, little guy. I did not anticipate this would take this long.

*They very gently adjust the young pitcher plant sat on their desk.*

[conifer-the-crewmate]

I wonder if I could make a sundew but more… adaptable. More willing to consume warm meat. Larger, too. Hm. Maybe.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

I really do wish I wasn’t rejected as a host.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

I wonder where I’d be if I didn’t kill him before he could snitch on me. I glad he’s gone. He was such a close-minded fool.

[a-normal-necroplanetologist]

…what.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

*It flinches, not expecting anyone to overhear it monologging to itself.*

This is irrelevant to you.

[a-normal-necroplanetologist]

Nono I wanna hear it. Sounds cool.

Did you know here on Polus we have a tradition of eating our dead? nothing on the spine or brain of course, that’s just too risky.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

… Is your biology convergent with vertebrates or are you a vertebrate yourself?

[a-normal-necroplanetologist]

Vertebrate. Theres are there any cams in the lab? If not I could probably show you what I look like out of this form.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

The only cameras here are my own.

If you are a vertebrate, that means a vertebrate was carried here from Earth at some point—a vertebrate that you descended from. Odd.

[a-normal-necroplanetologist]

Something like that. Anyway, I don’t think that was a no? Do you want me to shift like. Here or something?

[conifer-the-crewmate]

Just don’t contaminate anything.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

I wonder where I’d be if I didn’t kill him before he could snitch on me. I glad he’s gone. He was such a close-minded fool.

[a-normal-necroplanetologist]

…what.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

*It flinches, not expecting anyone to overhear it monologging to itself.*

This is irrelevant to you.

[a-normal-necroplanetologist]

Nono I wanna hear it. Sounds cool.

Did you know here on Polus we have a tradition of eating our dead? nothing on the spine or brain of course, that’s just too risky.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

… Is your biology convergent with vertebrates or are you a vertebrate yourself?

[a-normal-necroplanetologist]

Vertebrate. Theres are there any cams in the lab? If not I could probably show you what I look like out of this form.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

The only cameras here are my own.

If you are a vertebrate, that means a vertebrate was carried here from Earth at some point—a vertebrate that you descended from. Odd.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

I wonder where I’d be if I didn’t kill him before he could snitch on me. I glad he’s gone. He was such a close-minded fool.

[a-normal-necroplanetologist]

…what.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

*It flinches, not expecting anyone to overhear it monologging to itself.*

This is irrelevant to you.

[a-normal-necroplanetologist]

Nono I wanna hear it. Sounds cool.

Did you know here on Polus we have a tradition of eating our dead? nothing on the spine or brain of course, that’s just too risky.

[conifer-the-crewmate]

… Is your biology convergent with vertebrates or are you a vertebrate yourself?