I’m caught in you so often, I forget who’s who

Lauren 🔪 | 25 | she/they | “small, wild, boneless” - Julia Spotify! | Letterboxd

[handsomeboymodelingschool]

Sorry for bleeding everywhere Its because Im gods specialest boy

[kira-kui-n]

"get him pregnant" well thats not my thing but to each their own

"get her pregnant" *takes up my sword and shield* i wont let you do that to her. ......................

[i-fuck-audis]

MY FUCKING CAR

[chicken-delight]

i have tested positive for tzatziki

[neiljostenpussyindulgence]

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”

[sea--burn]

Friend: dude could I have some of your fries

Me: ( assenting hand gesture, managmaniously): until you are satisfied

[transmascfrankiero]

well other than that mrs. kennedy how was the drive

[the-punforgiven]

Maybe I'll feel better after I swing my fuckhuge big sword around a bit

[neenarchive]

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

[neenarchive]

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

[elektrashocktherapy]

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

[junk-thunder]

stole some guy's dog and drove off but then i realized i didnt even want this thing so i threw it out the window and it shattered like a vase

[threedollarsdotcom]

> open up wallet

> full of blood

[hexbugswallower]

I really enjoy the embryonic-stage xkcd comics from before randall munroe knew how to make them funny

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

I still think about this one on a regular basis

[seabassapologist]

never forget

[lets-jam]

[lovrito]

i feel like tumblr users are the only ones who don’t use ai. everyone else would fuck chatgpt if they could

[runcibility]

[riggedtrap]

[crossroadsbishounen]

dave and busters what the fuck is a sticky creebler

[stickycreebler]

First of all put some respect on my name

[stargoyle]

Big announcement:

Fucking petting hims