im 17m my sister is 15 is the age gap to big? rn she is dating someone my age but i JUST turned 17 last month
Kay so like. I cannot give you some fundamental capital T truth here. But like.
Honestly if you're both minors, you should probably measure the gap in months and not in years. Y'all have a small enough number of years between you that for like half the year (or whatever the distance between your birthdays) the gap looks like it's double what the other half of the year looks like. Are you 23 months apart? Are you 13? If one was to be concerned about this age gap in any honest way, those are two significantly different age gaps that both can end up with "I'm 17 and they're 15, but not long ago i was 16 and they were still 15", you follow? And to be clear, none of that is me saying whether the age gap is even a problem or not. It's just a more honest look at the gap to measure it in months.
If you were 17 and your sibling was, like, 12, but you just turned 17, like. Yeah, then the years thing is more honest than quibbling over whether it's 49 or 59 months.
Anyway as for the size of the gap itself, like. I'd honestly more look to your local context than some rando on the Internet. How are people reacting to your sister dating a 17 year old? Are people treating it as pretty normal? Are people getting ready to cancel this guy and whisk you sister away to "safety"? That's so much more relevant.
Now, let's touch a bit of hypothetical here too, just for the thought experiment of it. Let's say your sister dumps this dude and starts dating you immediately. There will absolutely be some... At minimum cognitive weirdness with that gap as you age up into adulthood. Again, not me saying it's wrong or bad, to be super clear. You'll be a 17 yo dating a 15 yo, then 17 dating 16, then 18 dating 16, then 18 dating 17, then 19/17, etc. There would be a funky couple of years where, like, there's some cognitive (and depending on your jurisdiction, maybe legal, but like even there i think the stigma against consang would take primacy if people started getting weird about it at you) strangeness. When i was dating someone during those transitional years, there was some weirdness as we crossed that line in the sand at different times. But like the fact that we crossed it at different times didn't make it fine one year, badwrongevil the next, and then fine again. It was just. A little weird.
Anyway, there's not a lot specific i can say about the size of that age gap. By early to mid 20s, that distance is more or less the same age, but there's certainly more significance in the mid to late teens. I cannot tell you if it's too big an age gap. I can say that like any consang person, it's worth being careful, because the stigma against us means that people will find things wrong with us even if they wouldn't find it wrong without the consang.
Anyway, good luck with your sister ♥️ whether things happen between you soon or sometime in the future or never, i hope whatever relationship you have is beautiful
