[aioniopyr]

god of 🔥🔥🔥

[teaboot]

I'm a security guard, how do I teach my coworkers that they don't need to worry about battle jacket punks and teenage cosplayers nearly as much as rich white boys and their moms

[teaboot]

like no offense but if I have to remove a drunk racist from a 7-11 at 10:30pm on a Tuesday then I *know* BDSM Naruto and his boyfriend Karkat have my back, catch Archer and Tanner pocketing monster energy while the cashier is distracted

[teaboot]

one time my boss pointed and said "watch that one" and I was like what do you know them and they were like "no but they're weird, I don't trust them" and I turned around and it was Komeida from dangan ronmpa

[memewhore]

[greelin]

well. sign ME up

[androidboy]

no one ever lets me be friends with their mom 😔

[androidboy]

friend’s mom checking up on me bc she adores me? i get a text from friend saying “STOP TEXTING MY MOTHER”. sister’s partner’s mom has similar interests as me? we have to play telephone through our respective family members bc asking for phone numbers gets an “absolutely not.” coworker’s mom is obsessed with all the shows that i am and is a chronic rewatcher as well? “no. NO. you are not gonna be tv watch buddies with my mom. that’s NOT happening.”

no one lets me have any fun

[androidboy]

this is still so funny to me

[pnfoutofcontext]

[viktor-sbor]

How the commercial is shot

[handmedownpocketpussy]

[goetic-justice]

Cats never understand that you're helping them get their claws unstuck from fabric. They're just like "you're tormenting me at the worst possible time I hate you"

[swagforbirds]

my assistant: Oh, boss, i have to report that your last 7 posts were... flops. im sorry.

me, lips quivering, eyes wet, at my office table: i... hrrrngh... *starts hitting my own head* stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid

[thatsoup]

You're being too hard on yourself. Posts are like flowers, not products. Don't let the expectations of capitalism ruin your posting experience.

[swagforbirds]

can i hold your hand

[thatsoup]

Of course

[2009100000z9003007x]

( waits for an image to load and its not even that good ) i dont know what to say. i hope we all die.

[arle-cchino]

[armacheart]

[campyvillain]

Sparkle on! It’s wednesday! Don’t forget to be yourself!

[pseudomantis]

violence

[smallrat36wagon-deactivated2021]

i like this evil post

[praeca]

I like how the harmless act of icepicking has been labelled as violence. This is how physical labor ends up being something pacifists don't want to associate with.

[pseudomantis]

Hi 😀

Because there breaking it

[butchspace]

We need like “unclench your jaw” posts but for eye strain. Like

Go look at something 20ft away for 20 seconds.

[dontbeanassbutt]

take off your glasses if you wear them for 20 seconds

[bluelakeandsky]

Recommended by my optometrist

Look at something 20 feet away, then 10, then 5, then one, then if you can your nose.

Repeat twice, then again without glasses.

Face forward look out of the corner of your eye. As far as you can look. Slowly move to the other corner. Repeat twice.

Look down as far as you can. Slowly look up. Repeat twice.

Roll eyes twice.

Close eyes for five minutes.

I do this every day usually at my halfway point. My migraines went away. My vision go better. Honestly stretching my eyes as she put it feels great too.

[actual-haise]

[goopy-amethyst-deactivated20250]

Begging Staff to let me get a look at how the fuck does Tumblr's algorithm work

[hungwy]

Look at my post boy

[typhra]