Strapped to a Tumblr

cats. shitposts. stuff.

[existennialmemes]

[darkfyretheumbrawitchisback-dea]

RABBITS! RABBITS! RABBITS!

Reblog this on the first of the month for good luck all month long!

[teaboot]

I live in the northwest coast of Canada so we walk everywhere and do stuff outside in the rain and swim in whatever lakes and rivers we find so imagine my smug sense of Canadian superiority when I met a USAmerican Midwesterner who was horrified at the very thought

And then I went to the USAmerican Midwest

And I understood

[teaboot]

What I mean to say is that it's very easy to delude yourself into believing you are more in tune with your environment when your environment is not actively hostile to your existence in every conceivable way

[teaboot]

BC, Canada:

Rains frequently, but the worst is like standing under a bathroom shower. Genuinely inhospitable rainstorms are uncommon.

Along the coast, it's pretty easy in most areas to walk to at least one store, or else there's usually a bus or shuttle available. There are sidewalks and bike lanes everywhere.

It's a temperate boreal rainforest, so while there are many freshwater lakes and rivers, they're usually pretty cold. The biggest danger is typically getting caught in a strong current, and the most dangerous animals in swimming distance are on land.

Earthquakes happen almost every day, but the vast majority go unnoticed. Buildings are designed to withstand bigger seismic activity, so unless it's a 5 or higher it just kind of feels like having low blood sugar for a second. There are no tornados

Rural Illinois, USA:

One minute it's sunny, then ten minutes later that distant smudge on the horizon has swallowed the entire sky in black clouds and the water is coming down like waterfall and you literally CANNOT SEE. Then there's a crash like cymbals and you need to get indoors because the thunder and lightening are on TOP of you

No sidewalks until you are in the smack dab center of town, which is a three hour walk or twenty minute drive from wherever you are.

There aren't many natural bodies of water other than small ponds and creeks, and because the environment is so much warmer, those are filled with snapping turtles that can grow bigger than a nine year old child and water snakes that are incredibly venomous. These are paired with leeches and mosquitos for that sweet umami flavor.

Sometimes Jupiter, Lord of the Heavens decides to jam his finger into the side of your house just to fuck with your whole shit and throws your truck a thousand yards into the nearest church

[biglawbear]

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He—wait. Why dost the Lord hath clippers.

[biglawbear]

The Lord sheareth me.

[teaboot]

“Jesus Shaves”

[jeffcross5000]

[jenjen4280]

This made me smile. Maybe you need a smile today too.

[catchymemes]

They supporting

[goth-queen]

[just-another-cat-blog]

pride month!!!

[lemonsharks]

Is that a miette?

[jeanjauthor]

Pride for you!  Pride for a thousand years!!

[lost-and-cursed]

you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

[probablybadrpgideas]

"vampire media should draw from bat behaviour more"

VtM character who regularly performs oral sex in exchange for food

[consensualvivisection]

Isn't that just the Toreador?

[nitashinori]

That post about death note being "everyone's first anime" (untrue statement) made me curious and now I want to gather data for science

Can you reblog this and tell me where are you from and what was your starter anime?

[satan-offical]

According to some people my handwriting is "absolutely horrible and UNREADABLE"

So here I wrote "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" for you to judge my handwriting

It's not bad

[consensualvivisection]

If you're not going to be a physician you may be missing your calling in life.

[titsay]

naps with u >>>

[theterribletenno]

A 15-year-old boy is about to base his entire personality on the last movie you watched for the next 10 years. HOW BAD IS IT?

He is going to get himself killed. Badly.

He is going to (try to) kill himself

The most obnoxious person in the world has just been born

FURRY (derogatory)

FURRY (normal)

Not much has changed? But now he's stuck like this for 10 years? Yikes.

It's cringe but it could have been a lot worse

At least he'll have fun at Comic Con

If anything this is a slight improvement.

He's not a boy anymore. He's a man now.

She's not a boy anymore. She's a girl now.

FINALLY, a son I can be proud of!

Voting ended onMay 11

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @briarblackwellbooks

good... for you?

text: i can still hear the falcon's cry

[prokopetz]

When I was a kid my parents had a rule that I was allowed to watch gore-soaked horror movies only if they were horror-comedies, apparently on the theory that a little ultraviolence never hurt anybody, but straight horror might be too emotionally intense. The upshot is I'd seen The Lost Boys by the time I was five, which probably explains a thing or two.

[prokopetz]

(Like, I'm not saying that formative exposure to Kiefer Sutherland in leather pants definitely made me bisexual, but it's a theory with legs.)

[consensualvivisection]

Are those legs, by chance, in leather pants?

[emwheezie]

20 years of Neil Banging out the tunes

I made this design to celebrate!

[cryptonature]

I was lying in the leaf litter today when some moss spoke to me. "Excuse me, do you know the species of this fallen log beneath me?" asked the moss. "Hmm. No. Sorry, I'm a little fuzzy on logs," I said. "What a coincidence," said the moss. "I'm a little fuzzy on logs too."