He wakes up in a familiar room. Not his. Because he doesn’t have one.
He blinks and sits up. Draped across a chair in the corner is his trench coat. He tried to get up, but his body won’t let him. Instead, he groans and slumps back against the headboard.
“Oh, hey, you’re up,” Dean mutters as he strides across his own room in the bunker and sets a glass of water on the nightstand beside Cas.
Cas looks up at him and silently asks the hunter how long he’s been unconscious.
“Been out three days,” Dean sits himself at the end of the bed, replying to Cas’ nonverbal question.
“He’s back in the cage. Crowley sent his demons to find Rowena in purgatory. She got out and did a spell and bam! Don’t think she was too happy with Lucifer killing her.”
Still not willing to speak, Cas reaches for the glass of water. He lowers his eyes and takes a sip, mulling over the taste of particles.
“Didn’t know if you would make it.” Dean suddenly sits up straighter. “Rowena didn’t know what would happen to you. But we had to take the risk.”
Cas can feel Dean scoot a little closer. “Had to get you back.”
Cas places the glass of water back beside him and squirms as much as he can to be as far away from Dean as possible.
He’s embarrassed. Instead of helping to defeat Amara, the only thing he did was distract the Winchesters even more and set another evil in the world.
He recalls Ambriel’s words. Expendable. He was definitely expendable. With him around, he only got in the way.
He finally looks up at Dean. And he’s decided. He needs to go. He needs to return to heaven and stay there. At the very least. He shouldn’t touch humanity again. Dean and Sam will figure out a way to defeat the Darkness and carry on. They would. They’re the heroes.
“Don’t,” Dean croaks out. Adamantly. “Don’t even think about about leaving.”
Cas isn’t exactly sure how or when Dean started to understand him without having to say anything; it never used to be like this. Dean rarely understood his motives in the past.
He’s so busy pondering this, he doesn’t notice that Dean is sitting at the end of the nightstand, and not the bed, by this point.
He looks up at Dean again with Jimmy Novak’s blue eyes.
“You’re needed. We need you. Always,” Dean shrugs, and Cas can tell that he’s going to try to lighten the mood. “Who’s going to be our wingman?”
Cas frowns. Dean knows that his wings are in tatters and that they’re barely useful. Was he trying to him feel worse?
“Not like that, Cas. I mean, who’s going to save our asses when we need it? And don’t say Crowley. As much as he’s useful, I can’t ever trust him.”
Dean nudges his blanket-covered thighs. “Stay, okay. Just stay. I need you. I always need you.”
Cas doesn’t realize how much he needed those words. Dean had never asked him to stay before. Everyone kept telling him to go.
So overcome with gratitude, Cas does the only thing he can. He flings his arms around Dean’s neck.
Dean’s arms come up and tighten around him. “I need you more than you know, Cas. I’m sorry you didn’t know, but I do. I need you to stay. Please.”
Cas shoves his head into the crook of Dean’s neck and breathes in. Because for the first time in a long time, Dean makes him feel like he’s home. That he has a home.
He nods aggressively, hoping that Dean can feel how much he wants it.
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