[snorlaxatives]

a goofy movie only has a 53% on rotten tomatoes… i’ve never felt betrayal like this before film critics can choke! a goofy movie is a touching and honest exploration of fatherhood and the struggles of being a single parent! i will not stand for goofy slander 

[lonely-cat-lady-9]

GORSH!

[snorlaxatives]

iconic dialogue 

[kmtarchive-deactivated20201028]

@ all the spambots who r following me: thank you, u might be empty and artificial but so is the flimsy validation i gain from seeing my follower count rise

[redstarovermoundcity]

me

[mojav]

British people be saying “I fink” and “me neifer”

[sailorbrazil]

im not bovered

[frawgs]

ello yewchube

[rcktpwr]

me, sitting on a throne barechested but wearing ornately engraved plate armor on my arms and legs and cloaked in fine almost translucent silks with an enormous snake draped over my shoulders: i got lost in the fantasy of this dope outfit and forgot what kinda post i was gonna make

[microtear-deactivated20181213]

[mulletlove-deactivated20200811]

vaguely threatening mostly ominous billboard i saw while walking home

[toomanyfeelings]

You can be depressed and not feel sad or blue. Depression can also be a haze of sleepiness, distractedness/obsessiveness cycles, and a twinge of irritability that can be hard to recognize because you might already be a “fiery” person. It can feel like a lazy Sunday that keeps imposing itself for weeks or months.

[chronicallyquirky-blog]

Can we just… I’ll leave this here.

[puckdaddyjerseyfouls]

[realmemehours]

[werewolfmali]

me at 15: why do my parents watch fuckin hgtv all day?

me at 25: damn the granite countertops really do make that kitchen pop

[draculesbi-deactivated20181016]

women are most attractive when they’re not even thinking abt it. and i don’t mean that in a “girls look better without makeup” way so much as a “i love seeing girls be their natural selves where they forget the pressure of perfection placed on women” way.

i love the goofing off double chins and the too-loud near-obnoxious laughter, the gruff and scratchy voice in the morning when they’re too tired to bother with sounding soft, and the not brushing their hair bc they can’t be bothered to deal with and what are you going to do about it anyway?

i love the boldness of women who forget that they have been told to be delicate.

[mydeddyalabama]

Can’t wait for Hozier to return and put his big bad bitch of the forest foot back down on ed sheerans windpipe

[topnotchshitposting]

[chants-de-lune]

Millennials watching Gen Z organizing huge rallies and standing up to zero-action politicians 

[slightmood]

my surprise soup themed wedding

me: *rolls a single can of soup down the isle before I start walking*

guests: ?????????????????????????????

me: :)

[alritepetal]

i am a forehead kiss hoe…. give me all the forehead kisses in the world. come on. i’m ready.