made some affirmations for my fellow grocery shoppers out there
i don't do bad sauce passes
wallacepolsom
Today's Document
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
occasionally subtle
KIROKAZE
Not today Justin
Mike Driver
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Discoholic 🪩
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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shark vs the universe
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@cooleslaw
made some affirmations for my fellow grocery shoppers out there
Customer: NO HATING DMV: NO HATING Verdict: DENIED
HATER SWEEP
Are you old enough to remember having to wait for youtube videos to buffer?
I remember the days when this comic was relevant
I'm sorry to all the rural people whose internet runs in 2009 rates
everyone having a very normal time over at Queen City Deli
Queen City Deli bringing the heat into 2022 with a new sign
2023 here we go
haha nooooo don’t recreate puritanism under the guise of progressivism because you don’t have critical thinking skills like for realllll stopppp haha
I do think the majority of us should strangle the shame that lives inside of us like wringing water from the rag until we are soft and dry and weightless
Exciting news out of Madison Wisconsin…
tumblr is also like this
reblog to kill your landlord with a sword
Uh my step mom actually had something to do with this in a way and it is an even more ridiculous story than that title even suggests
Story?
Sure!
So my step mom works for a local union and sometimes they get workers who are in a tough spot and need a little extra help financially. The union has an organization that handles their charitable monies and my step mom is one of the people that fields these calls and passes them on to that organization.
Now if im remembering the earlier parts of this story okay, one day she gets a call from a man who needs some help with bills like rent or something. They help him out, he's super grateful, job well done.
Now a couple weeks or months later, idk, they get another call from this man. He and his roommate are having some issues with their landlord, who lives in his own house on the property. Apparently the guy keeps barging into their rented place unannounced and drunk, belligerent, threatening them with crowbars and 2×4 and shit. The man, quite rightly, wants to get outta this. He's newly sober and stressful situations like this are Not Good for people going sober of any sort. So the union starts working with him to get him some other housing.
Someone else at the union gets this next update and passes it onto my step mother, who recounts it to me as I stand with my jaw to the floor in our living room.
So apparently on one fateful night this man in question was out of the house. And his roommate was home alone. And the landlord came barging in again.
Except this time he comes in holding a gun in one hand and a knife in the other, and a Michael Myers mask on to top it all off, and he's raving about how he's going to kill them all and then himself. Like he's totally lost it.
Now the roommate of our man is like actually factually scared for his life because this is quite a bit too far. And he now has to deal with this situation or he is likely going to die. So. He grabs a decorative anime sword of our man's off the wall and beheads* him.
Yep. With an anime katana. It's like one of those fake stories on tumblr. Except this actually goddamn happened.
* I am skeptical about that having been a beheading. This was not a honed sword, and not a practiced swordsman. However none of us have enough information to say it WASNT a beheading, full or not. And anyway the landlord was killed so it doesn't quite matter if he was mortally stabbed or not-so-cleanly beheaded.
Regardless! The man called us up to let the union know what happened, and they got him outta there ASAP. And the roommate was NOT charged because he was defending his life and there was a long history of them having to call the cops to get the landlord out of their place to prove such.
So uh there you go. And can I just say the whiplash that I had when seeing this post cross my dash was really something. I even screenshotted it and sent it to the house group chat and my step mother and dad started cackling in the other room because it is such a weirdly close to us story to see on this random site. Like please understand it wasn't even reported on in the news.
There you go! There's the story!
Wow, props to your step-mom and the union for getting him out. Hope he finds a better place to call home.
[image: screenshot of the headline and subtitle of the Willamette Week article linked below: "Prosecutors Decide Portland Man Committed No Crime by Killing His Landlord With a Sword. The landlord, armed with a hammer and pellet gun, had snuck into his rental property in a Michael Myers costume."]
whoever discovered popcorn had such a whimsical soul