Corporate Monkey, CPA

A Guide To Financial Freedom For Freedom Lovers

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I Am Not What You Think

I am completely and shockingly unqualified for this. I am not what they think.

The truth is that I have nothing to teach these people. They think that just because I have a university degree and I come from a rich country, that I somehow know how to solve problems, build things, and make money. But I’m just a 21-year old kid from the California suburbs. I am not what they think. I am completely and shockingly unqualified. My job, as I understand it, is to help some farmers…

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A Christmas Away From Home

This is my story of my first Christmas away from home on a big, muddy river in the jungle. Things can go very wrong, very fast. #hugafriend

I’m sitting in a wicker chair in the shade on a small patio, and it’s hot. It’s at least 100 degrees out, and it’s humid as hell too. The bare skin on my legs is sticking to the wicker. There is a rotating fan that provides a brief relief every fifteen seconds. There is nothing I can do to escape this heat or humidity. It is downright oppressive, and it’s not even 10am. [su_spacer]

Today is…

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The Magical Pilaya Canyon

The Magical Pilaya. Sometimes, adventure is right on your doorstep, if you're just willing to let it happen.

It’s the winter of 1997, and I’m sitting in a small single room in an old adobe house, which I rent for $25 per month. I have a double mattress on the floor, a small wooden table and a chair, and a single naked light bulb hangs from the ceiling. I have a few clippings and photos from back home taped to the plaster walls. Dust comes in from underneath the door.

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I’m about…

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Proud Parent of a Hustler

When I found out my son was selling candy bars at school, I was a bit overcome with pride. I'm the proud parent of a hustler! #sidehustles #fire #parenting

Proud parents everywhere use their vehicular rear-ends to shout-out their Honor Roll offspring. Others like to mention extracurricular activities like Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, and little All-Stars who play games with balls. Me? All that stuff is great. But I want people to know that I’m the proud parent of a hustler!

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That’s right! While other kids are playing video games…

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The Time for Plan B

By the time you hit your late-40s, you're pretty much at the top. You're maxed out. It's as good as you're gonna get. This is not a pep talk. It's time for Plan B. #careerplanning #officelife

By the time you hit your late 40s, you’re pretty much on top of the world, as far as careers go. You’ve built this thing up for decades now, and nothing can stop you now. You’re at your highest earning potential. You’re on your game. You go girl.

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Ok, maybe it doesn’t feel like some King of the World situation for you, but trust me, it is. At least, it’s as good as you’rego…

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Will We Need Basic Income?

Will Basic Income Be Necessary? A friend asked me this over a beer last week. This is what I told him. #ai #basicincome

When a friend asked me over a beer if I thought we would need Basic Income, I figured my answer might make a good post, so here goes:

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Of course, the thinking goes that one of the main reasons people might need Basic Income is because robots / artificial intelligence will soon be unimaginably smarter and more productive than humans (yes, I believe they will), and because of that,…

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Throwing Rocks at Dogs

Saturday, we found a stray dog in our backyard. We soon found its owner, and everything was fine. But somewhere else, things would have been very different.

On Saturday, we came home from a beautiful hike in the canyon near our house to find a cute little white poodle in our backyard. Last time I checked, we don’t have any pets, so it was a bit of a surprise. In fact, we’d never even seen this little dog before in the neighborhood. He must have gotten out from a neighbor’s house and wandered through the gate into our backyard.

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Life Back Home: How Are Our Kids Adjusting?

Hovering parents often worry that long term travel might be difficult for their kids. (Always blame the kids!!).. Find out how our kids are adjusting after our year abroad.

Lots of folks would love to just quit their job and head off around the world. But even more people find excuses not to. One of the biggest excuses I hear from hovering parents all around the country is that it might be difficult for their kids. (Always blame the kids!)

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I’ve written before about how kids can really thrive during a year abroad. But, what about the return?…

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Employee Stock Options? Oh, Hell No!

Employee Stock Options? Oh, Hell No! Stock options are the crack cocaine of Silicon Valley: addictive, and generally bad for your health. Here's why I try to avoid stock options. #lifeprotips #lifebalance #careeradvice

One of my besties at work just left the company.  A competitor poached him with an enticing lure: piles and piles of employee stock options.  My buddy wants to get rich (who doesn’t?), and he thinks stock options are perhaps his best option for getting there (they’re not). Yup, employee stock options are like the lottery tickets of Silicon Valley.

But, like a siren calling a lonely sailor, the…

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Turning The Lights Back On

Turning The Lights Back On - After 6 months off, now I'm back! I'm up to my eyeballs in the corporate grind and the parallel nirvana of middle-school parenting. Here's what I've noticed after our year off.

Hey people! I went dark on this blog for the last six months. My mid-life crisis adventure in South America ended, and since July, I have been immersed up to my eyeballs in the grind of Corporate America. That, plus the parallel nirvana of suburban middle-school parenting. 

As you can imagine, I needed some time to catch my breath, gather my thoughts, and adjust my eyes to the blur of life…

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Back to the Office After a Year Off

I am back in the grind, back in the hustle, back in the office after a year off #gapyear #sabbatical #corporatelife

Thirteen months ago I quit my job in corporate accounting, and headed to South America for a year with my lovely wife and kids.  It was, by all accounts, one of the best years of our lives, and I haven’t regretted the decision for even a second. It took a ton of planning, saving, and conviction to pull off.  But eventually, it all had to come to an end. And sadly, it did not take me long at all…

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The Great American Coast-to-Coast Road Trip, Part V: The Desert

A big cave, some gunslingers, and a bunch of airplanes in Part V of The Great American Coast-to-Coast Road Trip: The Desert #travelwithkids #roadtrip #arizona #newmexico

Now Part V of our Great American Coast-to-Coast Road Trip. This is the final episode. But just when you think you can’t handle any more, we still have to cross a big, hot, blazing desert before we make it to our final destination: San Diego.

  In Part I of our Coast to Coast Road Trip, we arrived in Miami, hit the beach, bought a car, and drove to Georgia (in that order).

In Part II of our Coast…

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The Great American Coast to Coast Road Trip, Part IV - BIG Texas

Everything actually is BIG in Texas. Here's Part IV of The Great American Coast to Coast Road Trip. #texas #roadtrip #travelwithkids #rememberthealamo

Hey Y’all! In Part IV of our Great American Coast to Coast Road Trip, we do Texas. We drove over 1,000 miles across Texas from east to west, making it nearly 1/4 of our whole trip. It’s a big state, and it needs to be that way, because everything is big in Texas.

  In Part I of our Coast to Coast Road Trip, we arrived in Miami, hit the beach, bought a car, and drove to Georgia (in that order).

In

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Part III of The Great American Coast-to-Coast Road Trip

The Crescent City, the good life, and some swamp creatures in Part III of The Great American Coast-to-Coast Road Trip #travelwithkids #roadtrip #coasttocoast

In Part I of our Coast to Coast Road Trip, we arrived in Miami, hit the beach, bought a car, and drove to Georgia (in that order).

In Part II of our Coast to Coast Road Trip, we saw some fish, got comatose over barbecue, and had a real lesson in Southern Hospitality.

Now in Part III, the Crescent City, the good life, and some real swamp creatures.

  N’Awlins

New Orleans is a city that makes you…

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The Great American Coast to Coast Road Trip, Part II

Lots of fishes, some dreamy barbecue, and a real lesson in southern hospitality in Part II of the Great American Coast to Coast Road Trip. #roadtrip #travelwithkids

In Part I of our Great American Road Trip, we flew from South America to Miami, then bought a car, and headed north. On the way, we hit Cape Canaveral and Savannah.

  In Part II, we gawk at a whole bunch of fish, we eat some dreamy barbecue, and we have a real-life lesson in Southern hospitality.

  Day 3 of our road trip begins next to a highway, somewhere in Georgia, in humidity so thick it’ll…

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The University Racket: 6 Ways Universities Screw Their Students, Financially

The "University Racket" refers to the many ways universities screw their own students, financially. And it's worse than you thought! #collegefinances #collegedream #ncaa

The older I get, the more I learn about the “University Racket” – the many, many ways that both public and private colleges and universities across the U.S. screw their own students, financially.  Don’t get me wrong! I believe that a university degree is still one of the best things you can do to increase your income and your employability.  But not all university degrees are created equal. And…

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7 Ways to Boost Your Savings by Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

One thing I've learned this year: Americans have a unique opportunity to achieve financial independence by just living like normal people around the world. #FIRE #financialindependence

One lesson I’ve learned this year is that Americans who think they’re frugal are really not very frugal, at least from a worldwide perspective. People in places like Bolivia commonly go to much greater lengths to save a buck – they live without cars, they stuff multiple generations into a single household, and they go without many things Americans take for granted. It’s a lifestyle that might…

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