spreadsheets and other nightmares

observations of a reluctant corporate receptionist

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

spotted this on my insta feed today, we might be cooked

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

with all the disrespect and hatred possible in my heart, do not contact me at 4:43 pm with a fuckass task you want me to complete. wait until tmr. schedule send your email for 9 am tmr.

I'm gonna blow up my office frfr

[ratbastarddotfuck]

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

[digitalsymbiote]

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

I will never succumb to the printer forgiveness propaganda, I can acknowledge the evils of modern tech and also still hate the stupid printer at the same time, I am capable of multitasking UNLIKE SOME OFFICE APPLIANCES I KNOW-

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

shout-out to my background in classical music, cuz nothing prepared me for the anxiety of job interviews quite like audition season

(i am genuinely more afraid of sightreading than i am of death)

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

in today's episode of stupid shit, I have wrapped my laptop in a pillowcase, poured a generous amount of rice over it, and then wrapped that in plastic wrap in the hopes of fixing a keyboard problem that resulted from rain getting into my bag

anyway, have I mentioned this is stupid?

[allsadnshit]

For the next beauty trend let's bring back just your normal eyebrows and your hair air dried and we can call it messy girl normal woman Sunday core

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

all-natural-core. god-given-core, if you will. Literally Woke Up Like This core.

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

I'm going to blow up the office printer with C4

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

person next to me on one of the most crowded T trains of my life (rush hour traffic plus Red Sox game) has their whole ass laptop open and is working on code

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

I think my goal in life is to be the kind of girlfriend that a guy's parents give him shit for breaking up with years after the relationship ends

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

happy tax day, everybody!

*screams into a pillow*

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

new "ai receptionist" tool in my workplace is fully forwarding us calls that don't exist from numbers that never tried to contact us

fuck aiiiiiii fuuuuuccccckkk aaaaiiiiiiiiiiiii

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

happy friday everybody, as an end-of-week gift i'm gonna set the workplace on fire

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

you can only do this career for the rest of your life

https://wheelofnames.com/dng-wgq

How are things going?

Great! A job I actually enjoy!

okay. I can put up with this

bad but not terrible

terrible

I don't work/results

Voting ended onApr 13

(this wheel is set in a magical world where all jobs pay enough to support yourself so this is purely about the work you do and not the money)

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

library drag queen, at least I won't have to use printers anymore

tucking sounds like a pain tho

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

people should fear the monster I'll become if I have to scan one more document on this shitty fucking office printer

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

if you are going to come into work while sick, please have the decency not to sneeze all over the office equipment, for the love of god

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

postage machine at my office won't let us refill funds, currently running on $14 and a dream, send your prayers

[corporatechronicles-sendhelp]

rush hour commute got the poor girl next to me squished against the train door, nose half an inch away from an asshole in a suit who is on the loudest phonecall in the history of mankind