Raven's Poetry

23, writer, role player, poet. They/them pronouns.

[corvidpoetry]

there is no best part but the worst part is looking at everyone you knew and asking yourself, “Did they know?” but never daring to ask aloud

[corvidpoetry]

in today's world of technology I am constantly searching for the middle ground between "if you wanted to, you would" and knowing that it isn't that easy knowing that my disability sand my mental illness are never going to be willed away simply because I want them to be and where do I find the line between doing my best and not working hard enough? changing yourself is hard work my mother was always quick to tell me when there was something I couldn't do not because I wasn't allowed but because she didn't think me capable I am not afraid of hard work but I'm not sure I ever really learned what it felt like I want to be capable of anything but am I? this world was not built for people like me and no matter how many places I build for myself I will always find  a new part of myself that is unfriendly shaped by the world I grew up in shaped by ableist ideas and I don't know what's worse: not knowing my limitations or thinking they're smaller than they are

I suppose my brain figured we'd do both new year new me I think this year I'll focus on getting to know him

[inkskinned]

It is so strangely empty to give up on somebody. You've done the fighting and the screaming, the whispered practiced speeches you said in the mirror and the crying in public places. the attempts at logic, the subtle sideways begging. And you sit in your cooling car or in the library or on the train and you realize - that was actually it, wasn't it. It's not worth it anymore. The remains of your relationship have been ashes for so long now - why are you still trying to call the fire department. Why are you doing this. You never walk out without shaking, and they always walk out having said the last word and struck the last blow.

And you think: when did it happen? When did I grow up more than you did? When did you stop trying to be a better person? Why wasn't I good enough to keep in your life? Were you ever listening? Did you ever care what was going on with me? Was I just around because then you'd have somebody on your side? Why are you like this? Why? Why? Why?

I wanted cutting it off to be cathartic. It was instead kicking a winter beehive. Nothing but a cold sting inside.

[bones-and-mortar]

6:4

You lost the scent that lingered on his sweater And he lost the time spent thinking he could be better Stomachs sinking; minds spinning from incessant late night drinking Pain has a twisted connection to pleasure Like finding common ground between ice caps and a desert They’ve weathered the worst of storms Hearts bursting with thorns Barbed and hardened from ardent wars Grasping onto any saving grace above the stars From Ursa Minor, to Ursa Major; It was the inertia of a slow dance between Frenzy and Fervor – That had fragmented reality to bits and buried memories six feet under

[corvidpoetry]

love me not

deep in the garden, where the flowers blossom ve sits, surrounded by lilies, tulips, and foxglove naught exists more beautiful, for ver, I am solemn my eyes skim flowers, yet ve is all that I think of plants are my home, but from here to above... I swear. Should anything even slightly akin to this feeling I am still so far from admitting of my emotion; if unrequited, I will feel only chagrin and as my fingers brush just past ver skin breath caught, so odd for me to pluck a flower. confess my feelings, I wouldn't know where to begin but in truth, I've long since fallen under ver power beside them I sit, hope clear: I couldn't bear the thought if after pulling the petals I land on ve loves me not

[corvidpoetry]

beaches

Car loaded, cooler packed Long drive, My book keeps me company Arrival: so early, we pick out A spot in the shade Dull roar, salty air Breathe deeply My wife: the ocean She fills me with love, serenity Only one problem remains My nemesis: the sand Barefoot ow I ow Descend ow Next time, I tell myself, I will wear shoes (I lie to myself every time)

[corvidpoetry]

like sandcastles we break

waves break the sound of the ocean like the sighs of a distant lover in, and out the sand is warm kissed by the sun all morning and all afternoon they still have the evening

there were people here, once people who basked in the sun knowing that, unprotected, she would burn them

the thing about humans is that we always love getting just a little too close to the fire

everyone gets burned at least once perhaps, it's in our nature to eventually leave our defenses behind

[corvidpoetry]

flowers

flowers spill like entrails from her wounds no matter how you look at it she is not the first panem may not share its name but it is built on the ruins of this country which has always systematically ruined the poor and the colored she is not the first and she deserved better than to be the spark that set a hero ablaze but little girls so so rarely get what they deserve don't they?

[corvidpoetry]

a haiku about space

I fucking love stars me plus space is oh-tee-pee let me sniff planets

[corvidpoetry]

Listen

Listen I got years under my belt Advice to give Wanna survive down here, You better listen I know your type Was just like you Got ideas, ain't we all? Big words, big dreams Do you know what freedom is? Keep on taking, kid You got things to say But first you better listen What you're looking for It ain't here And what you don't seem to hear This ain't a bit of fun You better learn to listen Trouble finds whoever ain't looking I'm trying to tell ya kid You get it bad Yell all you want Ain't no one gonna listen