Nothing Is Real

Life’s too short to not shitpost

[safetyrat]

go do your civic duty

[ufocafe]

so i asked a friend what was up and she replied with this and i feel like i’m in an episode of the twilight zone

[ladyshinga]

[phantomrose96]

Well oneof you is lying

[signerjarts]

“Jolene" 

 Your beauty is beyond compare

I shudder from your Eldritch stare 

With scaly skin and fins of emerald green

[alexiswalkingonsunshine]

Why would you leave this gem in the tags

[valdevia]

Dr. Heller inspects the skull of a victim of the 1806 Mycelium infections, an epidemic that decimated a village in the south of France. The fungus grew into the bone, creating ossified structures that broke out of the skin to spread spores.

[palefirefox]

"Photoshop Artwork by Valdevia" its a fake. https://www.reddit.com/r/ImaginaryHorrors/comments/portwa/dr_heller_inspects_the_skull_of_a_victim_of_the/

[valdevia]

One of the joys of coming to a new platform is a whole new set of people trying to prove to me that my art is, in fact, art and not real.

[valdevia]

… they're so close to getting it

[nunjournal]

These Jezebel commenters are right and they should say it

[katelyn-danger]

I know you mean the Magazine, but it’s funnier to imagine you calling these two commenters Whores.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[lorileopard]

[heydocverdant]

this is the plot of the giver

[all-da-fandoms]

I’m dying bcse it literally is

[funnytwittertweets]

[animentality]

Goncharov broke containment.

[broomsticks]

[lelouch]

[xignis]

i bet none of you were ready to see this image in HD

[notajerusalemcricketd-deactivat]

[chemicalheart-deactivated202009]

I am on the floor

[ottogatto]

WHAT

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

Absolutely fascinated by this stance of being committed enough to the tenets of Christianity that you believe the resurrection definitely happened, but explicitly ~not~committed enough to entirely close your mind off to the possibility of there being an entirely different messiah somewhere out there, just chilling in Texas on death row.

[darthflake]

That’s the plot of The Green Mile, no joke

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

It’s WHAT

[ganondorf]

i hope goncharov ends with a crowdfunding scam we haven't had a good crowdfunding scam in a long time

[transmortifried]

no context november. figure it out.

[nyxokal]

This is a thousand times funnier after Goncharov got big

[andthentheywilleatthestars]

2014 Tumblr wasn’t about whatever Tik Tok thinks it was about. 2014 Tumblr was about overanalyzing Captain America: The Winter Soldier and that one website that let you play Cards Against Humanity online

[andthentheywilleatthestars]

And it slapped

[thegraftedbranch]

me on a date: tell me your thoughts on 2014 tumblr them: oh that place? lol that was so cringe I- me, shoving breadsticks into my purse: I have to go

secret government agent: *punches me in the face* SAY IT! me: no government agent: say 2014 tumblr was cringe and the new culture is better! me: *spits blood at the agent’s feet* fuck you

“[whatever Tik Tok thinks it was about]” I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

because 2014 tumblr had the best snemes (snake snail memes)

none of you denying it now would survive the Skeleton War

Beautiful Internet Era Too Good For This World, Too Pure

girls don’t want boys, girls want a return to actually wholesome memes

when I die I want 2020s tumblr to lower me into my grave so you can let me down one last time

I will climb 90-post-per-day blog archives to find 2014 tumblr content. I crave that mineral

this post is the real last meme of 2014

“average site spawns 3 iconic memes a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average site spawns 0 iconic memes per year. 2014 tumblr, which lived outside Plato’s cave & spawned over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[asterwild]

PENGUINS. all of them!

(not precisely to scale, but close)

[bananonbinary]

“oh no we need to practice for our fake dating” is the funniest trope to me cause like. there are so many people who force themselves into a shitty relationship they hate just because of amatonormatiivity that it’s an ingrained part of popular culture to joke about hating your partner.

which is to say, oh my god you dont need to hold hands and go on fake dates, you don’t even need to agree on a single detail of your cover story beforehand. you can literally stand 6 feet apart at all times and look profoundly uncomfortable and all anyone will think is “yikes™. not my problem”

[bananonbinary]

actually people should address this in fanfic more because “i know we could half-ass it, but i would never fake mistreat my fake husband, how dare you” is absolutely delightful

[thekijs]

New trope: fake dating for spite.

“Look, my only goal here is for our pretend relationship to be demonstrably healthier than Aunt Rita and Uncle Carl’s fifteen year, three child marriage - which means the bar is so low we probably can’t fuck this up”