Every time my friends insult Superman by calling him boring I get so overwhelmingly frustrated because it’s like, they’re so wrong? They’re so wrong and they don’t even know it.
So here’s a beginners guide to why you should be stanning Superman quick stat:
he has a very good super-dog called Krypto who he takes on walks around the galaxy
has a villain called Eradicator which looks exactly like him but he’s like the Terminator and just wears dopeass visor sunglasses
will out-live everyone and thing he loves by thousands of years, and if that doesn’t hurt your heart then idek
bffs with a goth binch called Batman
has a way cooler base of operations than the batcave - it’s a crystal ice palace in the Antarctic called the “Fortress of Solitude”
He also has his biological dad’s consciousness stored on a Kryptonian USB drive and he talks to him sometimes.
spent a large portion of his childhood in the 31st century with the Legion of Superheroes. The Legion of Superheroes are basically a group of young heroes from Earth inspired by Superman’s legacy. They would frequently go back in time and nab teenage Superman from the timeline so they could hang out and do fun stuff together
he was created by two jewish guys during world war ii, hence why they wanted him to become a symbol of hope for the oppressed
once died and came back to life with a mullet and cute new black costume to match his goth bff, batman
Speaking off bffs, Clark is also bffs with Diana (wonder woman), and they once spent 1000 years fighting wars in Valhalla together
during this time, clark also wielded Thor’s hammer, Mjölnir. That’s right. He’s worthy.
He helped stop the KKK in real life
is technically an alien (human) fucker and thus, relatable to all you alien and monster fuckers out there
is a good noodle who collects endangered species in his Intergalactic Zoo in the Fortress of Solitude, for their own protecc
had a genetic love child with Lex Luthor called Conner Kent (Superboy)
visits children’s cancer wards and flies them to space to give them tours of the Justice League headquarters. He also organises the Justice League to put on scavenger hunts for the kids while they’re up there.
Lois’ and his son, Jon Kent, is bffs with the current Robin (Bruce’s son, Damian Wayne) and it’s rly cute. They hang out and even have an ongoing series called “Super Sons”
is supportive of Lois being a working mom and goes out of his way to teach his son about why it’s important that she gets to work as much as he does
is basically the fun uncle to the first Robin (Dick Grayson). When Dick grows up and becomes his own superhero away from Batman, he names himself ‘Nightwing’ after a Kryptonian legend Clark used to tell him about when he was little.
has a villain called “Superboy Prime” which is just an insane version of himself from Earth-Prime who’s world was erased during Crisis on Infinite Earths. Superboy Prime once punched the walls of reality so hard that it brought Jason Todd (the Robin that Joker beat to death) back to life. You’re welcome, Batman stans.
spent a year split into two different versions of himself called “Superman Red” and “Superman Blue”. He was pretty chill with it tbh.
Superman is such a dork with Batman that they actively call themselves “super-friends”. Can you believe this? Can you believe how much they love each other?
Is mortal enemies with a fourth-wall-breaking, trickster imp from the fifth dimension called “Mr. Mxyzptlk”. Mxy flies around just doing shit to annoy him, like turning his cape different colours and trying to out him as Clark Kent to his co-workers. The only way Clark can banish Mxy is by getting him to say his name backwards, which is “kltpzyxm”. But even then, Mxy can only be banished for short periods of time, and he always comes back. There’s no way to defeat him and clark is completely haunted by the knowledge of this.
anyways, in conclusion: he is very good and pure and I love him .
