I.D. Core

Indie RP blog for Android!Wheatley, of the video game Portal 2. Set mainly post-game. Written by Emma (portrait image by modmad, icon by not-quite normal)

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

((coughs slightly then retreats back into the shadows))

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

((reblogging cause i hecked up the link but it’s fixed now))

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

((coughs slightly then retreats back into the shadows))

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

((reblogging cause i hecked up the link but it’s fixed now))

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

((coughs slightly then retreats back into the shadows))

[jigowatt]

     “The way I see it, if you’re gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?”

[unaccompaniedescapist]

[Michigan Cellphone]: Humans are not very good at making friends. I was expecting them to be better at this. 

[Michigan Cellphone]: And I was expecting less of them but that’s a good expectation to fail. There’s at least 50 humans!! 

[Michigan Cellphone]: I’ve stopped counting but there might actually be more than 100! 

[Michigan Cellphone]: Also you are an AI. Aren’t you? 

[Michigan Cellphone]: I’m not mad. You can tell me. 

[Michigan Cellphone]: Lying is worse than being a machine. 

[Michigan Cellphone]: This explains why you don’t have 😵  these things. 

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Um [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Well [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: I guess [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: I’m sorry... I didn’t know about that when I started talking to you [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Well, I knew what I was obviously... Just not your thing... [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: So if you want to not talk I understand. I’ll just try to find another signal I guess [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Though it’s kind of funny. Isn’t love and friendship and all that the kind of things humans like to lord over AI that they’re better at? [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Not that that’s not complete rubbish of course

[unaccompaniedescapist]

Portal RPer Alignment Chart

Disclaimer: This is NOT meant to insult any RPer in particular nor any character interpretations. It’s simply a fun list based on several dozens of RPer archetypes I’ve met over 5 years of being in the Portal fandom. If you don’t think you fit any of these, that’s fine too. This chart doesn’t include everyone! 

Tag yourself if you want! 

Lawful Good: Chell roleplayers who seem to forget basic character traits like “stubborn” and “quiet” but are very friendly and fun to be around. You’ll love them as people (especially the muns) even if you don’t agree with their interpretation. 

Neutral Good: Chell roleplayers who are very serious and do a lot of research to create as realistic an interpretation as possible. They have a bad habit of getting Edgy™ and Gritty™ but have a deep respect for Portal as a game and ultimately want their RPing to honor it. 

Chaotic Good: “OmG WHEA t LEY I m soRRY b e CASEU UR SO HAWT!1!!1!!! I WAnNA ABANG GTHE SMExy ROBO-CirCLE!!1! AAAAAAAAAAAAA” 

Lawful Neutral: Old jaded Wheatley roleplayers who’ve been around through the bulk of the fandom’s existence. Their wise old eyes have seen everything. Flaky and apathetic, they come and go as they please, but have a real love for the character that keeps them coming back time and time again. 

True Neutral: Doug probably. There’s only ever been, like…three of ‘em. 

Chaotic Neutral: New Wheatley roleplayers with a fresh attitude. Full of energy, they’re still developing their headcanons and haven’t gotten a grip on Wheatley’s character outside of “I’m sorry” and “British.” But give them time; they’re good writers and just need a chance to settle in. 

Lawful Evil: GLaDOS roleplayers who are highly selective and closed off to strangers but kind, affectionate people once you get to know them. They may come off as intimidating but their pickiness is most likely out of stress or IRL busyness. They also probably hate their theme/URL/whatever but never bother to change it for some reason. 

Neutral Evil: GLaDOS roleplayers who are just as sassy and sarcastic as their muse. Fantastic at pulling off GLaDOS’s sense of humor but often are too busy poking fun at Her to take Her seriously. Don’t rely on them for drama; rather, rely on them for making you laugh your ass off at 3am. Not-so-secretly ChellDOS trash. 

Chaotic Evil: Impossibly selective GLaDOS roleplayers whose partners may or may not actually exist. Has a 12-paragaph-long Rules page written in teeny-tiny font. Formats to death and will probably actually murder you if you deviate from their format while RPing with them. They terrify you but you can’t stop reading everything they post because it’s just so damn well-written. 

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

We are OUTGUNNED, OUTMANNED, OUTNUMBERED, OUTPLANNED...

“I’m gonna, um… Fall to your expertise on this one. That is a, um… That is an awful lot of danger. Best we ah, take a minute and re-convene on this one.”

[unaccompaniedescapist]

[ Catastrophic ] - couldgetabittechnical

[unaccompaniedescapist]

Chell’s fanged scowl only grew more intense as her begrudging partner rambled on about getting his bearings. If looks could kill, he would’ve been long dead. In her thirst, she was running out of spit to snarl with; the result was a dry, crackling noise that was quieter than her usual snarl but far more vicious. 

What landmarks? They were in the middle of a gigantic empty field. Nevertheless, her eyes followed his, even up to the sun where she winced and tensed up. Best not to stare at that. 

She had been about to pull him up when he referred to their current predicament as being “like old times.” Once again, her boot came down on his chest. She was going to train him out of that mindset even if it took snapping every last one of his limbs. 

Then she lifted him up. Slung him over her shoulder like a satchel with his head behind her and his legs dangling down her front. She only shifted positions when she realized that he wouldn’t be able to guide them without being able to see ahead. Chell tugged his chest down and held him bridal-style from then on out. 

She went as he told her: forward. 

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

This... This was alright. This could work, even if his legs were all bent out of whack, this was...

“Oh no, oh nononONONO!” He tried to roll out of the way best he could, but her boot still hurt like hell. Not to mention, probably damaged something... He was used to the little flashing red lights and pop-up alerts that tended to crop up in the corners of his vision, but it seemed to him (once he’d stopped yelling) as though there were more of them than usual... Not to mention the low mechanical wheeze of a broken internal fan had gotten just a little bit worse.

“Ahh... O-okay... Got the message...” He winced when she picked him up. “Just-... Try to remember I do need some of these systems...To function...” He looked out across the uniform landscape. God he hoped she’d find something... Maybe a mechanic...

“For future reference I don’t really have anything strictly necessary for survival in my arms, which you haven’t broken yet...” He paused. “I’d... I’d Really appreciate if you didn’t break those either, to be honest... Please don’t... But, I mean, y’know, between that and the other option...”

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

((Ok so completely out there idea as I tend to have: Been listening to a lot of radio-play-y podcasts lately and started thinking... Wouldn't it be COOL to have something like that for Portal?))

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Hello!

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Glad to hear your whatchamajig is working again

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Whatchamajigs can be pretty tricky

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Depending on what they are and all

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: But anyway, yes, hi!

[fluffyfuckingartist-deactivated]

[UN.SIG]: It’s just a radio but… I didn’t think it could send anything out!!

[UN.SIG]: Where are you? Can you get me some help? I’m… This is gonna sound crazy, maybe, but–

[UN.SIG]: I’m in this underground lab being held captive by a sociopathic robot, and–

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Oh [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Well, first off, I can’t exactly go anywhere in my current position, which is a tremendously long story [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: and B, the lab isn’t called “Aperture Science”, would it? [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: If it’s called “Black Mesa” I can’t really help you [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: But I know a LOT about Aperture

[fluffyfuckingartist-deactivated]

[UN.SIG]: [awkward silence]

[UN.SIG]: Oh. 

[UN.SIG]: Sorry, I didn’t mean to like, uhhh…. [muffled cursing at self]

[UN.SIG]: Aperture? Yeah, actually!! Did you work here or something? Can you help me????

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: It’s fine [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: And it IS Aperture? Oh, brilliant! [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Well… [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Not for you… [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: But yes! I did work there and I can probably help [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Do you know where you are?

[fluffyfuckingartist-deactivated]

[UN.SIG]: Yyyyep. Pretty sure. The logo’s everywhere.

[UN.SIG]: AWESOME, I’d like to not die down here.

[UN.SIG]: I’m in between the test chambers. Like this little… Nest someone before me made.

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Tricky task there... But I’ll do the best I can! [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Which is limited pretty much to guidance. If I was WITH you you’d have my hacking skills too [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: But maybe just the guiding is better... [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: And yeah, one of those little corners with all the creepy drawings? [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: I haven’t gone into many of those. Rail doesn’t really go IN there [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Which probably makes it a pretty safe place. The fellow before apparently survived a BONKERS long time [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Anything distinct outside you recognize? Which chambers are you between?

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Well, thank you! [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Oh [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Suppose that’s a decent question [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: You lot are all pretty fascinated with it and all [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: But I’d have to say it’s not all it’s cracked up to be [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: It’s probably not the WORST [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Probably would be a lot better if you had a decent spaceship [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Which I don’t [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: But it’s mostly dark with a lot of stars [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: The moon’s nearby [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: The Earth is across from that [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: It’s too hot sometimes and too cold other times [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Mostly it’s empty [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: And massive [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Hence the name I suppose

[page-mistress]

STELLA: Was honestly expecting something a bit more… poetic. STELLA: I suppose space loses a lot of its mystic and allure when you’re stuck up there and have no way of getting down in sight, though. STELLA: Probably what it’s like being on an island, with no one else there. STELLA: And nothing to occupy yourself with. STELLA: Just sorta go mad from loneliness. STELLA: Well, technically, there’s other problems that come with being on a desert island that are different from the problems from being in space… STELLA: …But you get what I mean.

A thought occurred to Stella.

STELLA: Hey, Wheatley? STELLA: You know I can’t stay on the phone forever, right? STELLA: Would you be able to find me again if I had to hang up?

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Eh, sorry about that [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: I could try to put my companion on if that helps? [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: He’s VERY passionate about space [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: ...In case I forgot to mention there is ONE other core up here [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: He’s completely out of his mind of course [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: But if you want to talk about space, he’s your guy. He literally does not talk about ANYTHING else [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: And yeah, at least on the island you can build a raft or draw in the sand or something [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Lot of hypothetical situations give you one book too, that you’ve got to pick from

Wheatley paused a moment.

[UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Probably? Probably. Hang on... Tracking signal... [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: Okay I got it! [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: It SHOULD work [UNKNOWN SIGNAL]: ...Did you want to hang up now then or...?

[dcingscience-blog]

REBLOG this if you rp in the Portal Fandom & put your character(s) in the tag!

I’m gonna work on a masterlist soon-ish! OCs are absolutely accepted!

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

"Can you eat?"

“Dunno. Never really bothered to try.

Probably. I mean… At Aperture they pay a lot of attention to detail.”

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

"You're a bit... Weird." chimed a voice from below eye level. If one, the one in question being Wheatley himself, looked down, he might find a young child, no older than eight or nine. Her tone wasn't really insulting, it was more of a statement, like children commonly make. She meant no real harm in it. (littlesthero)

He bristled a little at first, but in turning around to glare at whoever had said it, he himself became somewhat curious.

“You’re a bit small…” He’d never really considered humans could come in that size…

[luigismansionfamilytree]

She shook her head in disagreement, straightening up her back to make herself seem a bit taller.

“Nuh uh, I’m normal-sized for my age.”

Eight or nine, whatever she was, as she had forgotten herself, seemed like the right age to be about four foot three inches. She hadn’t been around very many people her age lately. 

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

“Alright, but I mean, comparatively speaking.“ She was more obviously small than he was weird, he was quite sure.

“But I suppose if we’re gonna go with that I’m normal… Normal… For what I am…”

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

"???? ?? Probably??/?/ ? I'm going to punch him. And you're going to help me. First: warm things. Get as many as you can. I'm going to ask for directions to Antarctica."

“Uh… Okay… Um. Right. Going to need… Sweaters, blankets. Hats? Hats. Scarves… Something to chase off bears and penguins with… Though you could probably fight those if I’m honest… Do you have any kind of a-…

Hey! Are you going to be coming back or-… Actually, nevermind… Sitting this one out wouldn’t be the worst thing…”

[unaccompaniedescapist]

Oh, she came back, alright. 

“Antarctica is very far away. We’ll need to take food with us. Did you get the warm things? 

Also what is a bear and a penguin?” 

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

“...” Yeah, he’d managed to find a few things.

He got out from under the blanket and tried to look professional while folding it back up again. “Well, you’ll be the one who’ll be eating it, so you may want to be the one on that one.

Bears are a sort of really massive animal. Very dangerous. Penguins are kind of weird fancy birds I think?”

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

You're adorkable!

“A-what?”

It did... Sound like it was meant in a positive way. Perhaps it was a compliment, then? He took a moment to think over the word. He’d never heard it before but it almost sounded like-...

“O-oh! Uh, thanks, I think!”

[couldgetabittechnical-blog]

"You're a bit... Weird." chimed a voice from below eye level. If one, the one in question being Wheatley himself, looked down, he might find a young child, no older than eight or nine. Her tone wasn't really insulting, it was more of a statement, like children commonly make. She meant no real harm in it. (littlesthero)

He bristled a little at first, but in turning around to glare at whoever had said it, he himself became somewhat curious.

“You’re a bit small…” He’d never really considered humans could come in that size…