Dag's Grab Bag

Development and personal blog for hilarity.

[counteringdukfuk]

“We don’t want the player to feel frustrated.” This is what I’m told. This is how it is explained. Why then, I wonder to myself, do I feel so ...

Okay, far be it from me to ever give shittaku any pageviews and ad revenue, let alone actually get news from them, but holy fuck, how has gaming fallen so low?

Let me sum up for those who don't know or don't wish to visit kotaku: Ryse was a game shown at E3 that looks okay right up until the little button prompts showed up that effectively meant "Push button, instant win, receive bloody candy". Quick Time Events, little things that don't require any time or effort to really pull off, just have to be paying attention. This is enough to turn me off from this game, as I'm old fashioned and prefer to actually play my games instead of letting them play out for me after pushing a single button.

Apparently, I'm more old fashioned than I thought. According to the Kotaku article, you don't even have to pressed the button at the right time, the correct button, or any button at all, or even hold the goddamn controller at all to get the gory kills. The "game" does it all for you. All pressing the buttons do is give you a "scorecount" at the end.

"We don't want the player to feel frustrated." -Official quote from a Crytek representative

Did everyone forget fucking WHY we play video games in the first place?! Because they were fucking frustrating and hard and challenging, that's the goddamn point. We're trying to overcome a challenge and feel good about it.

If you're going to pull somethign like this off, call it what it is. This isn't a fucking game, this is a movie. It's not even an interactive movie, it's just a fucking movie.

I can't take this shit anymore. And of course it's an Xbox exclusive. Why does everything shit in video games revolve around Microsoft lately?

[counteringdukfuk]

It's like the Dreamcast all over again.

[counteringdukfuk]

I made a funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbWgUO-Rqcw - Original video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRpzxKsSEZg - In the Hall of the Mountain King

[counteringdukfuk]

It's hard to keep up a dev blog when you're not making any progress at all

[counteringdukfuk]

I want to know how many are legit pissed about the Consumerist Golden Poo Award going to EA. It's a plastic poop trophy. I could go into more in-depth reasons as to why EA deserved it most from a consumer standpoint, but that's a lot of text to type up.

On the other hand, I'm salivating to know what EA's going to do next. Their last bit of damage control and hiding behind the LGBT community like a rainbow-colored meat shield was absolutely hilarious.

[counteringdukfuk]

I just finished putting my computer together. My very first computer that I built from scratch.

My god. After all the horseshit I went through to get to this point, from incompatible plugs to windows explorer being broken out of the box, you'd think I'd be happier, but I really just want to throw the damn thing through a wall.

[jackwynandmoved-deactivated2017]

do you ever just stop and realize how much pokemon has grown

like wow it just really amazes me

[shitweed-deactivated20130706]

well i mean 

pokemon isnt the best example

[boynerdramblings-deactivated201]

[jimcrakindandy-blog]

[andronian-deactivated20230730]

[counteringdukfuk]

I finally have the money to get the parts to build a new computer. A very nice PC with which I can do a lot more things with than this crap laptop. Most of the parts are already ordered and are being shipped and will be arriving all throughout april.

I already have the case to a very old pc here that I'm going to reuse.

It has a power button shaped like pac-man, and the lights are positioned so it looks like pac-man is about to eat them.

Forgive me if I'm incoherent, I'm just stupidly fucking excited.

[counteringdukfuk]

I love watching the internet go insane when something happens. /v/'s celebration is amusing to watch knowing how hated this man was.

Good riddance, Riccitiello. Take your day 1 DLC, your always online DRM, and your shitting on the developers with you.

[counteringdukfuk]

Little Star Pond: Working Title, an Indie Mystery RPG

<The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblances to real people, locations, or events is coincidental. Everything written is subject to change between now and final release.>

March 10, 201?,

My name is Jefferson Lloyds, Detective-Investigator First Grade of the New York City Police Department. I have worked with the police for 25 years, and tomorrow, I will be turning in my gun and badge.

I remember this time well. I was a fresh detective then, third grade, green as could be, just given my shiny new badge and pay-raise after the hell I went through working in Narcotics with the Organized Crime Control Bureau. My first assignment, however, was to be an extra body in the man-hunt for the missing children that disappeared from Podunk the day before. Ordinarily, a detective going on a man-hunt in a different state, looking for lost children in a backwater town like Podunk would be unheard of, but Podunk is a unique place for one reason: The Adventure Hills Water and Amusement Park, also known as the most dangerous amusement park to have ever existed, with at least 10 confirmed deaths and countless injuries from the poorly maintained rides throughout it's existence from the park's opening in 1984 until the park closed down in the summer of 1992. Adding to these statistics are 12 people missing, all young children, all of whom went missing in the kiddie pool, known as Little Star Pond, a small man-made lake that measured maybe 2 or 3 feet deep at it's deepest point. All of these children vanished from the Little Star Pond, with their parental guardians close by. None of these children ever turned up in any searches. Not even bodies. Investigators the world over were stumped. When the park closed from bankruptcy, the cases went cold.

Four years later, a group of 8 children in Podunk went missing, their families all gathered for a 4th of July cook-out. The cookout took place at a residence in close proximity to the now abandoned Adventure Hills Amusement Park, so nobody wasted any time sending spare bodies from nearby police units, myself included. What I found was more than I bargained for. Most of what has happened has been sealed from public access, outside of a few random tabloid writers worming their way into the investigation. What I will disclose now is the absolute truth, from the rookie detective who saw first hand everything that had transpired. Allow me to start with this simple warning.

Humanity as an intelligent species is not alone. We were never, ever alone.

[counteringdukfuk]

I started making video game name puns/references and can't stop

Jeff Loids

Ana Paulson

Lin Kerdrick

Teddie Kumar

Delila Reddings

Ash Reddings

March Beoluve

Kyle Robbins

Dora Robbins

Isaac Robbins

Janus Cronos

Lucca Cronos

Serge Cronos

Will Edwards

Isabella Edwards

Alex Silvers

Luna Silvers

Laura Kingston

Edna Kingston

Flo Kingston

SOMEBODY HELP

[counteringdukfuk]

Dreaming of Interesting Plots

So I slept in real late, and only just woke up about maybe 10-20 minutes ago. I had an odd dream that may have been two separate dreams but whatever. The first part of the dream dealt with artifacts, seemingly ordinary objects that had some interesting twists to them. The one that sticks out was a boat that had a mini-tv in it that you could reach into and take stuff out of it (Please do not ask why), as well as running off of some alien power source, and a single key that operated everything.

The other bit was some weird little mystery, following some little girl into an abandoned amusement park to a kiddie pool that transported people to some other land if you sank to the bottom and curled into a little ball, one that was full of dangerous creatures, at that. The name of the kiddie pool stuck out at me: Little Star Pond.

So that'll be the working title for my newest game project, putting RTETHC on the backburner, since that one will take a lot more effort and budget than this. LSP will be a much more simplistic RPG game, and a lot easier to do at first.

It's funny, though. It's not the first time something interesting came to me in a dream. After all, the name for "Rejoice! The End Times Have Come!" came to me through a dream as well.

[counteringdukfuk]

So it happened again.

[counteringdukfuk]

The 11th hour superpower

Why do so many games have this trope? That one magical weapon or item or power that makes the final boss easy to beat or whatever. The SORD OF SLAY EVIL +99 or whatever, or the superform of death. It's crap, and it cheapens the final fight. I don't want to kill him with the instakill macguffin, I want to feel badass under my own hard earned power.

Let me regale you with two stories of my game experiences. Today's subjects are Pokemon Black for the DS and Summon Night: Swordcraft Story for the GBA. This post contains ending spoilers for these games.

Anyway! Pokemon Black. Final battle time. N stands in his castle ready to go. BUT WHAT'S THIS? SUDDENLY, THE DRAGON LEGENDARY ON THE GAME'S COVER SHOWS UP AND WANTS TO LEND YOU HIS POWER IN YOUR DARKEST HOUR or some bullshit. It's the climax of the game, and you get a huge boost in power. But you have to fight and catch him first.

No. Fuck that.

You know what I did? I OHKO'd the legendary dragon. One hit, dead, from an attack from my point mon, not even my starter or heavy hitter. I felt like a god damn badass. I don't need some dragon that went down to a single attack. But the game forces you to battle him until you catch him. Eh.

Story 2, Summon Night: Swordcraft Story. Some evil's been unleashed, so you try to fight it, and it turns out your weapons do jack shit to it. So some icy fuckhead tells you that in order to make a weapon that can damage the final boss, you have to sacrifice your guardian beast, the partner that you've had the whole game. The sentient, bro-tier partner who's been giving you the moral and magical support you've been using the entire game. Kill it, and you can kill the final boss.

No. Fuck that.

My summon beast was Sugar, the adorable bisexual fairy blacksmith, who had healing spells and support spells and some of the best damn dialogue in the game. You're telling me I have to stab the one character that's been on my side the whole time in the back to beat the game? Thankfully, this game has a subversion that most games should have. The option to say "No. Fuck that." You're able to find some other weapon or whatever and fight the final boss that way.

Except even THAT is still an 11th hour superpower. The game is all about crafting your own weapons, and you can't use your own weapon for some bullshit reason. Why can't I use the powers I've gained throughout the story to fight the final boss on my terms? It's a load of crap. Games need to stop doing this.

[counteringdukfuk]

what is a sleep schedule

[counteringdukfuk]

I possess a desk and swivel chair now. I am entirely too excited by these things.

IT MEANS I HAVE AN OFFICE/BATTLESTATION.

[counteringdukfuk]

I think I've figured out my game's central themes and gimmicks. Related, I also found my answer to the 'generic units vs. unique units' argument I was having with myself. It's going to be a lot of difficult work, but if I pull this off, I can guarantee something a lot of games can't: No two players' games are going to have the exact same plot.