you have to train your mind to be stronger than your emotions or you are going to lose yourself. ā¢writer here and thereā¢ All characters are my own!! :D
A/N: maybe some day iāll be able to completely finish this.Ā
āHear my heartbeat? Focus on that.ā
Tony could faintly hear it, muffled by the smooth fabric in his shirt. But pressing harder into his build made it surround him in an embrace more easing than Derrickās arms. Muscles in Tonyās body relax that he didn't even realize were tense, and a yawn slips from him that adds more weight to his eyelids.
āClose your eyes, Tones.ā
Tony does so, and Derrick holds him a little tighter, keeping the rise and fall of his chest steady. His fingers slipping under Tonyās shirt to rub at the small of his back and lacing with the soft strands in his hair as Derrick soothes his scalp. Comforting that eventually slows to a stop as Derrick falls victim to his own heavy eyelids.
And he snores. Not loudly, but enough to where Tony can feel it vibrate between them. Itās another steady rhythm he tries to drown into along with is heart.
Although, Derrickās body was toned and rough with muscle, not the exact soft and squishy teddy bear that his personality makes him out to be, but he definitely was warm. Derrick had a warmth that surrounds like a blanket, and his arms confining him to keep away from the outside world added a sense of security. Tony yawns again, body easing like a liquid and spilling all over Derrickās chest. He nuzzles the bridge of his nose farther into Derrickās neck and tangles their legs a little further. Their chests pressing together. Tony tightening around Derrickās waist.
His mind was losing this battle, letting the comfort and warmth spread to places in Tonyās conscience that couldn't be silenced with merely closing his eyes. His exhaustion turning into less of a form of pain, and more into a form of familiarity. His thoughts running out of words and slowing their rant. Silence crept over Tony's person as he fell slowly into a dream.
Derrick felt the knock at the door before he heard it. The light pound rattled the shelves and broke his fragile trance of slumber. It was like he never fully closed his eyes, yet as he brought himself to a straighter posture and rubbed at them, it was as if they were sewed shut.
He took his time peeling his body off the couch. His tight uniform sticking to his skin with glue made from old and recent sweat heās collected from various jobs, and the muscles in his arms and legs crackle back to life as he sluggishly raises his sore body to his feet. Derrick could feel the fingerprints of sleep on his cheeks and arms, and he rubs at a few that sting as if they took bite out of his flesh. Altogether, the nap wasnāt exactly satisfying, and he feels grosser in this over-worn uniform than before he even laid down.
Making it to the door was a challenging thing, and Derrick takes his sweet time doing so. After all, It didnāt sound like the person behind the door was in any rush.
Derrick yawns as he opens the door, and his eyes become wide open once he sees whoās behind it.
It was Tony well dressed in a mint green button up and his hair slicked back with a little more attention and care. Tony whoās waited expectantly for Derrick to answer the door with the same amount of excitement as him. Tony excited for a date that heās been talking about for the past week.
āAre you ready, Dare? It took you awhile to answer the door.ā
Suddenly, Derrickās entire body becomes about a thousand pounds heavier.
āOh my God.ā He rubs at his eyes again, this time a little harder so the pain is a punishment. āI am actually the worst boyfriend in existence and still need to shower. How much longer until the reservation?ā
But the flash of disappointment in Tonyās eyes is a shadow compared to the excitement in his face, and Derrick was tired, but he wasnāt tired enough to let it slip past him. They both knew the truth: That Derrick forgot their date tonight.
āI guessā¦ā Tony pulls a small phone from somewhere and glances at the screen. ā...We have a few minutes but donāt worry about it, Dare. We can go next-ā
Tony was already led in the house.
āIāll be super quick. In and out. Don't worry, Tones. Weāll make your reservation.ā
Then, a kiss was slapped upon Tonyās cheek as he watches Derrick tread the stairs. Some rustling came from above him; drawers being opened and doors being closed. Soon he heard the shower water hitting the tile floor and Derrick stepping in.
Tony spent the next few minutes touring his home, glancing at the pictures on the walls, trying to find the story behind them. He quickly realized how boring his house was. It had simply two pictures and a wooden clock covering the little wall space, and the two pictures were old by several years. Nothing recent to show the growth of the family that resides inside of it.
Tony eventually finds his way upstairs and strolls down the hallway that leads to Derrickās room. His pace is slow and careful and shadow is faint amongst the dim light that shines through the bottom of the bathroom floor; the shower water still echoing as it rains.
He lets himself in Derrickās room, finding it a little unorganized than whatās acceptable for his standards. The drawers of his dresser were left open and throwing up clothes. Some books lay on the ground with their spines to the ceiling and pages crumbling under weight. Tony takes a second to pick them up and return them to the holes on the shelves. Then, he takes another second to return the drawers to their natural state as well, until a thought stills him.
Derrickās room wasnāt usually this bad. Sure, he wasnāt perfect and his room wasnāt spotless, and sure, his room isnāt at itās worst right now, but he still never exactly lets it get this bad. Unless he was busy like he is now.
Working three jobs at a time would take its toll on anyone, and lately, it's been taking its cruel time turning Derrick into a giant ball of stress that isnāt fun to cuddle with anymore. Tony has been taking note of whatever he can since no matter what he says to Derrick, it wonāt change his mind about his decision to work three jobs this summer. This was a big sign to Tony. A sign that may not convince Derrick to change his plans for the summer, but it just convinced Tony to change his plans for the evening.
-~-~-~-~@-~-~-~-~
That shower wasnāt exactly Derrickās record time. There were too many instances where the steam trapped by the walls would soak into his tense muscles and work to ease his mind. His eyes would close, forehead would lean against the wall, and body would merely concentrate on the feeling of water running down the curves in his back. His heavy eyelids would find relief anytime they would close. Enough relief to send Derrick straight into a nap that wouldnāt leave him more exhausted once he woke up.
Steam spills out of the bathroom when he opens the door, and a slap of cold air hits his dripping curls. He dries it off in his towel as he blindly enters his room, shirt unbuttoned and tie hanging loosely around his neck.
Suddenly, Derrickās scared to remove the towel from his eyes.
Tonyās mint green shirt laying on the floor caught his eye first. Then, he notices his black pants and a belt not far away from it.
He swallows thickly.
But it wasnāt what Derrick was expecting. In fact, it was what he was hoping for deep down in his aching body. Tony holds a pair of sweatpants out to him, dressed in one of Derrickās large t-shirts and baggy sweatpants.
āHere Darey, put this on instead.ā
Derrick looked to Tony, then to the pants in his hand, then to Tony again. He notices how small Tony looked in his clothes, but how cozy as well. Reluctantly, he slowly raises his hand to grab the sweatpants from him.
āI thought this was a nice restaurantā¦ā
Tony nods his head to a tilt. āOh it is, but I thought that we should go next week. I have better plans for tonight.ā
He knew exactly what Tony was doing, and Derrick couldnāt hide the guilt on his face. This was supposed to be the night heās been waiting for. The night heās been wanting for weeks. Derrick looks down to the sweatpants that are now in his hands.
āThank you, Tony, but I canāt. I know what youāre doing, and I appreciate it, but this is your night, baby. I canāt take that away from you.ā
His smile was genuine, small but very genuine. āYouāre not taking it away from me, Darey. Iām giving it to you. Youāre tired. I see it in your eyes.ā Tony doesnāt wait for Derrick to respond before heās already walking out the door. āIām picking the movie though. Hurry and change so you can order pizza.ā
And after a game of rock, paper, scissors to decide with or without sausage, Derrick collapses on the couch once again. His weight sinks into the worn cushions that mold perfectly to his shoulders, and Tony nestles into the spot on his chest that heās been so carefully shaped to fit into. Itās warm, under the covers of the throw blanket and on top of cushions of the stained couch. Warmer than the air outside of this nest of soft comfort.
Then, somewhere between the blankets and shared body heat between the two, Derrick falls dead asleep, fallen victim to the heaviness in his eyelids.
Warnings: Grieving of a recently passed significant other, angst, homosexuality, mentioning of death.
A/N: Cancer AU
Kimbo knows when Leo's asleep because his room is completely silent when he isn't. The few hours a day he does sleep it's merely continuous tossing and turning in his sheets.
However, for the past two days his room has been filled with nothing but an unfamiliar quiet. His dinosaur decorated door haunts the hallway like a spiritual portal that still lingers, but no one uses.
And Kimbo is getting worried because if it.
No one leaves the room.
No one enters the room.
No one even goes near the room.
All because no one knows what to say.
Leo's mother tried, but he only cried into her shoulder for the 5 hours she could stay.
His older sister who majors in therapeutic psychology tried, but he only disgorge the contents of his stomach on the bathroom floor.
Auggie even tried, but that ended up in Leo passing out of exhaustion before they could finish their argument.
Now, that means it's Kimbo's turn to say something to him, or at least help him in anyway she can.
Even if that meant using the syringe full of sleeping medicine in her hand.
She slowly counts to five after she lightly knocks on Leo's door. As expected, there's no stir of a person or audible breathing of a sleeping one at that, so after counting, she steadily lets herself into the dark room.
"Donny?" Her voice is drowned in concern she didn't intend to put there. She slowly pushes the door open and takes in more of the room.
Leo didn't lay on the bed like he usually did, but the bags of fast food and unopened water bottles lay untouched since the last time she's been in here. The room smelled of cologne and just pure boyish as it always did before. The curtains on the small window look as if they're sewed together, allowing little to no light past their dark nature. It gives Kimbo an ominous feeling as her hand leaves the door knob.
"Leo? Where are you, bud?" She walks herself to the middle of his bedroom, carefully stepping over the few piles of clothes that lay in her path.
Her eyes catch the stream of light that leaks through the cracked bathroom door. She follows it, letting herself in and strolling through it to get to the next room.
Oh God, poor Leo.
"If the sun don't shine, If the world's of fire, If the oceans rise..."
He sobs.
"O-Our love will survive."
Leo sings so softly, Kimbo strains to hear him, but the tune is all too familiar and his pitch is still spot on even when his voice hasn't been used in weeks. He lays on the floor of Geneo's undisturbed room, watching the blood from his chewed wrist drip into a small puddle of crimson and hauntings.
Looking into his eyes, there's no way Kimbo could tell if his bites are causing him pain. The beryl in his eyes only write exhaustion for her to read.
She unconsciously grips the syringe in her hand harder.
"H-Hey Buddy, how have you been?" She cringes at her own question, knowing damn well what the answer is, already clear in front of her face. She rolls with it anyway, sitting herself next to Leo's bleeding wrist.
He breathes deeply, laying his arm down and closing his eyes. "I-I've been..." He ponders. "...living"
Kimbo nods and smiles, "That's good. That's really good. Better than being dead."
The silence in the air gives her enough time to question if that was really true.
"But I want you to be happy, Leo. You deserve that more than anyone here."
He takes another deep breath, "I-I've tried, Kim... I've t-tried to move..." He quickly swallows another sob. "I've tried to move on."
Kimbo strokes his untied, knotted hair, "I know you have, buddy, and I'm here to help you get through it."
She hesitates but shows the syringe to Leo, and he knows instantly what it means.
"No! No, no, no, no, no. I-I-I can't sleep. N-Not without h-him. He needs to be by my s-side for me t-to sleep." He sits up immediately, scooting to the far side of the room. āPor favor no hagas esto... P-Por favor deje de.ā
āĀ”Tengo que ayudarte!ā
āNo. No estoy durmiendo ahora da miedo. No puedo hacerlo..."
"Ā”Por favor, Leo!" Kimbo crawls towards him, cornering him.
"Ā”Para! I'm not going to sleep! Not anymore! I-I need him to sleep! I-I-I..."
Kimbo carefully pins his hand behind his back as Leo continues to ramble, switching from fluent English and Spanish.
"Easy, Leo. Just take this."
"No! No, No, No!" He squirms under her grip but it isn't enough to be set free. "I cant do it! I love him too much to live without him! I-I just.. need to... end this..."
Kimbo shushes him, stroking his hair and singing the rest of the song from before as she slips the contents of the syringe down his throat.
"I don't wanna see you cry, So baby, let me dry your eyes. I'll be by your side."
Leo chokes and attempts to cough up as much of the liquid that's involuntary running into his system. Only a small bit fills the corners of his mouth before his blood-shot eyes droop shut.
It doesnāt take long at all for the medicine to overwhelm him, and as it does Kimbo debates on going down stairs to get the syringe that would make this state permanent.
Living in a small household with only himself and his mother, Tony has heard stories about everything that happened before his time. Heās heard stories about his parents being the prom king and queen senior year. Heās heard stories about his motherās childhood, grandfatherās dating life, and auntās and uncleās dunk habits. Although, his favorite stories are about his motherās soulmate.Ā
Tonyās dad wasnāt his motherās soulmate. They simply had a good time with each other one night at an āend of year partyā a month before prom. They had such a good time together that Tony was born nine months later, but Dad still wasnāt Momās soulmate.
Friday nights were Geneoās favorite nights. No one schedule was the same because it had to correspond to the week it followed. Although, the one thing he could rely on happening is the secret car ride with his young teenage daughter to the Barnes and Noble across the small town. Then, maybe if it was a productive week, stopping for chocolate milkshakes at the diner his daughter grew up in.
He remembers they way she would sway her hips to her own singing of Milkshake by Kelis when they waited in line for the dessert. How she would occasionally bump their hips together to get a smile from her father. He especially remembers that one time she got one of the teenage employees to play the song throughout the entire diner. Within seconds, all the waitresses were in a line trying their best to mock her every move as she danced carelessly to the song.
Person A is picking their kid up from dance class, but end up being too early. So they go look into the window of the dance room across the hallway, where Person B is dancing.
Person B gets Person A to dance with them. When they stop, Person Aās kid is in the doorway clapping for them.
As Person A and Person Aās kid are walking away, the kid asks āwere they as good as dancer as [deceased parent] was?ā
((Hey! So Iāve never posted my writing Iāve based off of your amazing prompts here yet, so I hope you enjoy! If you ever happen to see it, that is. I also want to say that your prompts really make my mornings. It makes me pretty happy to see your notifications and have it spark theĀ inspiration that Iāve been lacking lately. So I hope you have a lovely day and itāsĀ nice to have you back.))
Pairing: Leo and GeneoĀ
Series: Kindered Spirits
Warnings: Mentioning of a deceased parent, HomosexualityĀ
Donny was shaking, and it hurt. Even with the large arms surrounding him for an anchor, he cries in pain with his mind stinging most of all. āI was doing so good,ā he sobs.
āI know baby, I know. And you still are. Itās okay just keep breathing.ā His lover continues to mutter praises and pleads into the top of Donnyās disheveled hair. He rocks his paramour very slowly and soothingly to calm his shivering body as if he was cradling a baby.
Donny hasnāt had many threatening episodes lately, so once this one is over, heāll hazily cower deeper into Geneoās figure and be claimed by his own exhaustion.
Geneo centers his thoughts around this idea as he rocks his own world into a better one.
