first post in forever. still soft. still sad. still writing.

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first post in forever. still soft. still sad. still writing.
THE WAITING GAME
I've been diagnosed with a sore lump in my throat a homesickness, a lovesickness.
As the long summer days melt— I still dream of the fading wings of cicadas clinging to the boughs, seeking recognition.
But first, first, first, first— love me. For this month, I gave seventeen years Snouting through the darkness—
enrobed in that second skin [hot and close] of silence, but for the urgent clutch and scramble for Longing.
The city nights will fall quiet again as wrinkled shells drop from the branches in straight lines— are these seed pods? or dead cicadas.
We've been convinced somehow to mature in isolation. To grow alone, sing in droves, die in droves. After seventeen years—
I think I've come to terms with the fact that there will always be a ribbon of loneliness running through who I am.
Seated among friends, crying with laughter, I catch myself balancing grief—the weight
that bends the spine, with sturdy celebration. I've been coiling, writhing tight to survive the lengthening nights. The Dream is a guiltless spring.
When is it time? to wriggle out underfoot, depart the frigid dirt-womb and learn lightness. The cicadas sift the loam— knowing what they know.
It is August.
My life is going to change. I feel it.
N.C.Y. Office, August 2024
we humans
we humans are constantly intertwined body and soul because our hands are constantly outstretched. we can't help but spread our fingers and open our palms, our hands were made for love. why else would your fingers interlock with mine and never really let go not even if you forget me. not even if we both fade out together. we humans are built to facilitate love we have no maximum capacity, if I love you I will always love you. and if you love me, you'll think of me fondly when you hear my favourite song.
Daydream delusion, limousine eyelash. Oh baby with your pretty face. Drop a tear in my wineglass. Look at those big eyes. See what you mean to me. Sweet-cakes and milkshakes. I'm a delusion angel, I'm a fantasy parade. I want you to know what I think. You have no idea where I came from. Lodged in life, like branches in a river. Flowing downstream. Caught in the current. I carry you, you'll carry me. That's how it could be, don't you know me? Don't you know me by now?
Before Sunrise, dir. Richard Linklater (1995)
*A poem i wrote*
You were a ray of sunshine
And i was basking in your glow
The heat burns my flesh indeed
But damn id do it over and over again
You lighted my whole world
Bringing it from a dimly lit corner
Into a blossoming filled of love
I adore and cherish the day i fell into your webs
Tangled up in sorcery blissfully possessed
If your the witch i shall be cursed by Your love
make my heart speak for itself.
-AA
[do not repost or claim as your own]
Also on insta - @1prax_works1
Taste
The taste of your month.
The taste of your neck.
The taste of.
It’s crazy what we’ll do,
for a friend,
with a friend.
What are you thinking about ?
Everything,
anything,
nothing.
Nothing but you.
Little cry,
tears down from my eye to my cheek.
The taste of my cheek
Salty.
By Val (06.04.21)