It isn’t me, It’s all you
Okay guys, so I know I’ve been absent for a while, but there’s been something bugging me for a month... Yet another thing that tends to screw up both relationships as well as friendships. I swear that this is one of the most annoying things that I’ve ever had to deal with within friendships, and yet it happens time and time again.
Guys, listen up, girls can be friends with a guy and not want to date him or destroy his relationship with another girl. Now, for the girls; girls, other girls are not all out to get your man and seduce him.
But really, there’s a lot of layers here so let me start with a little anecdote so you know what I’m dealing with. I’m 24 and i have two guy friends that I love hanging out with (we met in a college class) but they’re a little younger than me-18 and 21. Now, we spent a good amount of time in class getting to know each other and stuff, so of course I decided to keep the friendship going through the next year even though we didn’t have any other classes together and we could have easily just drifted away. But they were cool, seemed like decent guys, had brains and were interesting to talk to. Well, summer rolls around and I figure that we might be able to hang out a little, but one’s doing summer school and the other works, so it’s hard. Now, through the past year I’ve talked to them through all sorts of “life stuff” including break ups, new girlfriends, whatever-and I supported them as best I could without being able to actually be there. Turns out, these guys have been keeping stuff bottled up; apparently my attempts at jokes to boost their confidence were coming off too flirty, and my attempts to temper some of the girl hate one of them was going through during his break up came off more as bashing (funny, cause he liked my comments of Facebook, up until he got back together with his ex). They both apparently thought that I was basically hitting on them while disrespecting the girlfriends that they had, so i was told to back off because the things i was saying were making them uncomfortable. Fine.
Here’s what I think really happened... 21 got back together with his ex, said ex probably went through his social media and saw me as a threat, and either told him to write the message or wrote the message herself. 18 was just being a brat, whatever, not cool.
The bottomline is that this has happened before, and I’m sure that I’m not the only one. Guys, you’re not just good for sex, sometimes girls can actually like you just for hanging out or talking. You’re not all drop-dead gorgeous and we girls can’t help but tear your clothes off. Sure, that might be how it works in junior high or high school, but really you need to grow up!!
Girls, please don’t be so suspicious and jealous it’s so ugly and unattractive. If you have trust issues with your guy then you need to deal with them (with him) and leave his girl friends alone. You certainly wouldn’t want him going through your phone and calling up every guy telling them that you’re his girlfriend, right? I don’t know, maybe you’re into that sort of dependent relationship and controlling significant other, but I would hate it-and I would kick his ass.
In the end, 21 is now engaged to the ex that he was girl hating on while they were broken up (for like less than six months BTW). 18 is now 19-happy birthday kiddo. 21 is pretty stand-offish, but i guess that’s what he wants since he’s prepared to commit to this girl. 19 is back to speaking with me, its a little weird, but he’s finally able to say when he doesn’t like something so that works with me. Neither really wants to hang out with me though, which makes me think that they’re still both convinced that I would think it was a date r something stupid like that. Whatever, guess I was wrong thinking that they were more mature than any other guy.
