Firstly, got back to uni Saturday. Summer term started on Monday.
Went down to the wire with my assignment on Wednesday. Leaving things until the last moment as per usual. Denying something is there DOES NOT make it go away.
Now for today. Definitely not one of my favourite. Life does like to see how much it can chuck at you before you break. One thing would have been depressing; two a challenge, but beyond that and it most surely is trying for breaking point. It started so well this morning too.....
This morning was pretty good and relaxed as I had the morning off, due to my first lecture being at 12noon. After driving RC & EM to uni, spent the morning revising for the afternoon's exam, eating Angel Delight and having a few moments of slight denial calm.
Went to uni for 11am to drop RD at her lecture, and met up with RC & EM to further revise for the exam. Truly realised that I knew next to nothing of relivence, so redoubled my efforts. Played a bit of Rummy as we found a deck of cards in my bag. Still in a reasonable hopeful mood by the time we had to go to our lecture.
The rather morbid lecture on 'Health and Safety in the Agricultural Industry' in preparation for placement was one way to dampen my mood. Lots of graphic descriptions.
Spent the rest of the afternoon revising with RD & RC in a study room. It was quite fun as we messed about testing each other, playing hangman and generally trying to lift our spirits. I should mention that the exam was for a module that we were the first year taking it, so not even the lecturers were sure what they should put on the exam so consequently we had no idea what we were suppose to revise. But hey, we tied to find a positive in the stress.
The exam started at 4pm, but we got there early and chatted with the rest of the class. On a plus note, I found out my lectures tomorrow are cancelled so it looks like I can go home earlier for the lone Bank Holiday Weekend. That is where the day stopped being good.
The exam was horrible. Not what was expected. Some of the stuff wasn't even in the lectures. It was despair inducing. Luckily the exam was only a hour long. I think everyone left the room thoroughly depressed. A lecturer asked us for our 'verdict' as we walked out the building, but was hard to put a brave face on. Pretty sure I have failed that one. RD was not in a communicable mood either and basically staked off to the car, but who can blame her.
Got back to the to the house and phoned home to say I will be heading back tomorrow morning. That was when it got even worse. Mum told me one of my cats was dead. Truffle, my little tabby. Mum found her on our doorstep in her final moments. Mum said it looked like she had been clipped by a car and had dragged herself back to home. (Gosh this mascara is waterproof). After I finished telling her about when I expected to head home, told her how my plants had survived a month without attention after I had forgotten them at the house over the Easter break (avoidance tactics I know), I hung up. Then cried for the first time in ~ four years (here I go again).
After that it was only little things, like falling over, crashing into my desk chair and nearly losing my keys, that seemed to happen at a higher rate than normal in mocking frequency. For example, we decided to order pizza for tea, as we all felt a bit subdued, didn't want to cook and seemed like a good idea to cheer us up. Driving to pick it up I missed a lot of gear changes, car refused to go in reverse and I nearly lost the car keys by misplacing them in my bag. Mood not lightened.
The pizza and chatting over dinner did help a bit. Small hopes can be the best. Friends are the best support, especially on bad days :)
Spent the rest of the evening finishing 'Danny Phantom' and knitting, while trying not to wallow.
Today was most definitely one of those days. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, and at least I have a long weekend at home with a while until my next assignment hand in deadline.
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