fuck.

coxcombs on ao3

[coxcombo]

Bought my indulgences on www.tumblr.com sandwiched between posts about sonic yaoi and a weird bug.

[clytemnestraaa]

make ur arguments in the tags

who’s more likely to cheat? no nuance

shane

ilya

Voting ended onMay 20

[nosurprisetome]

i think Thomas Cromwell would be a great GM

AGREE i think he'd start out as like a fourth line enforcer that's forced to retire kind of early due to injury (equiv to his time as a soldier and working for cardinal wolsey)

and then he works his way up through the coaching ranks to head coach for a team (master of the jewel house -> lord privy seal -> master secretary and so on) before ultimately become a GM (lord chamberlain). he's a controversial but extremely effective GM and his team wins a cup but the next year aging stars (henry viii), injury, scandal, etc leads to the team getting swept in the first round and his head is the first on the chopping block

[twirlingfreckles]

I keep thinking how funny it'd be if Shane's ex girlfriend was a lesbian. Years down the line he is doing groceries with Ilya and he sees his highschool girlfriend shopping while holding hands with her wife. And they just spiderman meme at each other, like gay? Gay!

They had sex once, thought man sex is not what movies told me it was. Figure out they are gay and go man, my poor ex, I just thought you were bad at sex or that sex was bad. Neither of them knew they were each so busy trying to be heterosexual the other never noticed they weren't into it.

I just think it's so so funny. Like there Shane was, having had sex with a girl and thinking it was mid and hoping she didn't notice. And there she was, thinking sex was mid and hoping Shane didn't notice.

first of all yes, to me this is indisputable. At least one of the girls he was with for a month in 2009 or so was definitely a lesbian. She still lives in Ottawa with her wife and Yuna is facebook friends with her mother. but also? The girlfriend you're describing? Rose Landry.

[coxcombo]

For the record, my other dream heated rivalry yuri work which I will never write (because #depression also because im not skilled enough as a writer) is a roselana fic where the PWHL equivalent works differently and Rose is an owner of an expansion team a la Ryan Reynolds in Welcome to Wrexham and Svetlana is hired to be GM of the team after being an Assistant GM for the Raiders.

Svetlana is kinda freaking out because 1) she's so fucking young to be the first ever gm of a team 2) she's afraid that she's ruined her career but she was tired of the Raiders overlooking what she had to say due to misogyny/racism 3) a subset of fans were awful to her due to misogyny and racism and were insinuating she slept her way to the job 4) the not awful fans were excited out about her being the first female gm and second Black gm and now there's a tone that she's letting feminism down because she took a less "prestigious" job because people are awful about women's sports a la Becky Hammon

Rose, on the other hand, is trying to balance a million things like her acting roles and investments and her new team. She's getting a lot of complicated praise for being like "Yasss thank you queen for proving that feminine straight women can also be involved in women's sports". A lot of people assume this is a vanity project for her after she got into hockey to impress boys and that she's not a SERIOUS owner. And her new boyfriend is nice and there's nothing wrong with him but he doesn't make her cum which is fine because they never have sex!!

AND THEN SVETA AND ROSE BECOME BEST FRIENDS AND FALL IN LOVE. They have a girls night after Rose breaks up with her bf because of 1) the sex and 2) Rose started dreading checking her phone and seeing she had a text from him and not Sveta. They both get tipsy and Rose admits she hasnt orgasmed in ages and Sveta is like "lmao I can fix that". Cue morning after freaking out.

Rose is like i can't fall in love with a woman I'm straight and Shane is like "...are you because you keep on getting with guys who you don't have to have sex with and you keep talking how you wish you could date a woman. You know it's legal right, you can if you want to" and Svetlana is like I cant date Rose b/c think of the impact on my career and Ilya is like "but think of your life if you don't end up with the woman you're in love with. Also you already had sex with her"

And that's my pitch for HEATED RIVALRY 2: YURI BOOGALOO: RISE OF THE WARM FRIENDSHIP

[clarafordahwin]

Shane's Heart. Ilya's....

By Bzzee

“A sub drop?” Foreman asked, leaning back in his chair. “Really?”

“I’m being serious,” Chase said.

“Sometimes people get sad if they don’t cuddle after sex,” Foreman said. “That doesn’t lead to four months of bradycardia, appendicitis, and a failing spleen.”

“Clearly someone’s never had their heart broken,” House said.

***

Inspired by the sub-drop fics post "we didn't even kiss"

[anistarrose]

hyperfixating on a fictional woman who went underdeveloped in canon is literally FUN and the 80-90% of fandom people who only do the same for background character men have no idea of the degree to which they are fucking missing out

[anistarrose]

no tumblr i have faith that this post will be found by the enlightened 10-20 percent

[ID from alt: the "post without tags" pop up. End ID.]

[anistarrose]

hour 1 of thinking about an underdeveloped woman: idk it would've been nice if she had more screentime

hour 100 of thinking about an underdeveloped woman: ok but despite having only eight lines of dialogue she is literally THE most interesting nuanced and tragic character in the entire series and these writers had no idea what they even had. how is no one else seeing this it's literally so objectively obvious

[coxcombo]

I'm never going to write it (#depression) but do know in my head there's a beautiful heated rivalry oc fic between rival in universe hrpf fans and one's a Boston fan and the other's a Montreal fan and at first they don't like each other but they start dm'ing after getting annoyed at a third person (presumably a Toronto fan lbr) and they strike up an online friendship and decide to write a fic TOGETHER that features BOTH of their favorite players and in writing that Hollanov fic they discover that they work together really well and something more begins to bloom...

Flash forward multiple years. They've built A LIFE together, they've moved countries to be together, and they have decided to get married. They tell their extended families they met online, but the cooler inner circle knows the cringy truth. Obviously then for the joint Bachelorette party they go to a Montreal Metros game!!!

Pre-game they run into Shane at idk. A coffee shop. And they're like oh man im so sorry to bother you but you're my fiances favorite player and my second favorite player would you mind signing this napkin!! And Shane is like. Of course. What are your names?

And then takes 3d6 psychic damage signing a note for Lily and Jane who are wearing custom HOLLANDER-ROSANOV jerseys

[twinkbutchblog]

Chase, Cameron, and Foreman in a romantic relationship would be a nightmare for everyone involved. I think they would have the strength to be professional at work but lack the strength to leave petty arguments at home. They break up every other week and sometimes 2 of them team up and votekick the other. This is the first time a threesome is unsexy and absurd. Foreman has 0 idea how he even got into this mess and can't find the inspiration to leave the mess, Chase blames this relationship on House because he hired extremely hot doctors, and Cameron is really into it but kinda has one foot out the door because she knows this will not end well. They've gotten several lectures telling them it's a bad idea and they should break it off but they really don't want to. Polyamorous relationship of doom and despair.

[coxcombo]

Bought my indulgences on www.tumblr.com sandwiched between posts about sonic yaoi and a weird bug.

[portraitoftheoddity]

Fic that appears to be an AU where the characters have a little low stakes meet cute and are having a sweet little romance, only for it to be revealed that no, this is in-universe and they both have amnesia and all the other characters are trying to find them and are losing their fucking shit

[vividviolence]

[rare-basement]

[dykerory]

it's not that i'm not compelled by archbishop yaoi but i think some of you would find yaoi in the wild russian steppes if given the opportunity

[clodiuspulcher]

Catullus 85 [Loosely] Translated by me and the writers of House, M.D.

[flowerbleedme]

I'm infested and it's yours

[infectiouspiss]

boyfriend asked what i was doing, told him i was editing a picture, boyfriend asked "is it something like house stretched out with the words 'menstrual blood' on it or some shit?", boyfriend was wrong, boyfriend was also onto something this goes hard

[seraphimsix]

Every time fandom turns a beautiful pathetic service top into an aggressive daddy dom type a random person on earth dies