underclass hero.

❛ the farther you go from where you start, the harder it is to get back. the good stuff comes, the good stuff goes. the good stuff seems so hard to hold. right now, I'm just a V O L C A N O on the brink of eruption. right now, I'm just a P S Y C H O,...

[sunhken]

        ❛     it’s not MY stupid idea,    it’s yours now.    you can call it stupid all you want but it could be beneficial for your sister.     besides,    just like for her   —-   your rich dad will make it all disappear.   DON’T play the innocent card on me hunter,    you’re a dumb curious boy   —-   of course you participated in the fundraiser.     what am i going to do to her?   you think I’m going to tell you?     well,   i’m not   —-  but know when she finds out you had the chance to save her  &   you refused to,    she’s going to hate A LOT.    ❜

[cptcourage-blog]

              hunter was learning more about his father to know that this wouldn’t go away for them. frankie would always be haunted with what happened, and their father could only possibly make it worse. but it wasn’t just about that — frankie was hurting, and she was the last person to deserve it in hunter’s mind.  ❛ no — i would never, ever be so STUPID. if i wanted to make money, i’d come up with an idea that actually made sense.  no, no..   why would anyone believe that?  why would anyone think that i got all those girls to do that? NO ONE will believe that. ❜   he’s convincing himself, because he knows he needs to do this for frankie. but he doesn’t want to take the fall for this. not that he cares what anyone thinks of him, but to be the perv who forced girls to send naked photos of themselves for money wasn’t the title he wanted to go through high school with. it was already miserable enough.  ❛ no, TELL ME what you’ll do to her. tell me. ❜

[anamorphosis-and-isolate]

[kidsapsycho]

                         ‘ YEAH RIGHT. ‘ hunter mumbled, his eyes staring back into the other’s, no emotion showing as he turned his head as he boy kept going. shaking his head of the other’s ignorance, his eyes shot back at him.  ‘ and you really believe that crap? ‘  hunter snapped at the other. his eyes now angry as he leaned towards the drivers seat.  ‘ HE’S LEAVING. he’s saying GOODBYE. what part of that don’t you get? this is so stupid.  ‘  he bumped back into his own seat once again.     

all through winter break, hunter had pushed numberous people away. his friends, yael, baaz and vijay── the ONLY people who mattered at degrassi was nowhere to reach now and seemed more like strangers. but it seemed as he had gained one person in return; his brother. thing were going well for them, spending winter break together really proved to hunter that he wasn’t alone and had someone he could really count on; until he had to LEAVE. he was leaving, just like everyone else.     this time spend together with all this talk of miles actually leaving and getting ready to do so, was only to keep his mind of the fact that it was happening faster than wanted.  it was done out of pity and hunter was not going to be blind to it a second longer. 

                          a scoff left his lips as he looked at the other of the corner of his eyes.  ‘ you’re in doubt, i can hear it. if you would just listen to me, maybe you won’t be so D I S A P P O I N T E D when he’s walking out that door, carrying on with this better life without us── without you. ‘  hunter slowly turned his head having his eyes directed towards his brother’s figure.

                         ‘ what? backing out of what you begged your brother to teach you? he trust you with this, don’t be stupid and mess it up now; we don’t want to lose another person.. do you? YOU’RE STAYING RIGHT HERE. ‘ 

[cptcourage-blog]

        of course he believed it.  he had to, didn’t he?  that’s what family was for;  to care for each other, to love each other, to be there for them even when you don’t want them to be or when it’s not convenient for others.  hunter had to believe that, it was the only way he could live in the hollingsworth mansion without constantly feeling like he was shut out from the rest of his family  ( and the rest of the world )  ---  even if he was. 

                      “is it really that hard for you to believe? people change.  miles can change too. he went through enough to know that---”  and he did, miles had faced a similar battle to the one that hunter was facing now;  a battle with himself,  one that made it hard to breathe most days because he was constantly questioning himself, wondering if he was doing the right thing or if he was being too soft or if he was even thinking clearly. the time he had spent with miles over winter break had made him believe that miles really could change, that he truly wanted to be a better brother to him.  but that’s what hunter wanted to believe  ---  maybe he really was letting his head get to him in a fantasy that could never truly be real. maybe miles wouldn’t be the brother he so desperately needed, and this was all a fluke.

    “he has to stay. he’s staying for me. for us.” 

                       the words were muttered to himself in a light voice  ----  one that was shaky with disbelief.  but he would do whatever he could to convince himself that miles wanted him --- that ANYONE wanted him. because he needed someone else’s strength for once instead of constantly relying on himself to survive --- that was only making him feel worse. 

                      “NO.”  his word was pushed through gritted teeth as he clenched the steering wheel, his heart rate increasing as he felt himself growing angry. he HATED feeling this way; so out of control of his own feelings and his reactions. but he couldn’t stop himself most days, even though he desperately tried. but everyone else didn’t understand that; they didn’t see how hard he fought to keep himself together. they just assumed he was a psycho. but he was far from it, at least he would keep trying to prove that to everyone and himself. 

                     “he wants to be there for me.  he SAID he was staying so he could help me. i need him ---  he won’t leave if i need him.”  every single word was said with a crack in his voice, his emotions affecting each and every one of them.   

                     hands still clutching the wheel,   he turned away from him and focused solely on the road ahead.  “fine,”  he muttered, knowing he was right. if miles offered to let him drive and he said no, then who’s to say miles would ever offer up something like this again? there would be no reason to him ----  he had to do it.  “but we’re going slow. and we’re not going far.  we have to be careful.  if he TRUSTS  me with this, he’ll trust me with more  ----  he’ll have a reason to stay,” he assured, putting the car in drive and driving it achingly slowly down the road. 

[cptcourage-blog]

happy national best friend day, best friend !! :')

      ❛  we aren’t friends.  ❜

[sunhken]

        ❛   don’t be ridiculous hunter,   your threats DON’T scare me. but if you’re willing to save frankie —–  that means you’re desperate enough  to do anything.   which leads me to this,  you have to come forward about  what you did.  say how the degrassi nudes was YOUR grand idea.  we  all just went along with it.  say that  &  i’ll leave your precious sister alone  ❜

[cptcourage-blog]

         ❛    you want ME to go down for your stupid idea?  no way. that’s the stupidest thing i’ve heard all day,   and that’s pretty        grand since i’m wasting my time standing here talking to you. everyone’s gonna think i’m a perv, and i didn’t even waste my        money on your dumb little fundraiser.  what are you going to  do to frankie if i don’t?  ❜

[georgeweasleyx-deactivated20210]

[wrenhavenriverarchive]

*playing video games while slouched sloppily on couch*

*dies in a bullshit way*

*irritably sits up and pays attention for next attempt* 

[purplebuddhaproject]

I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty.

Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (via purplebuddhaproject)

[cptcourage-blog]

                       “HE’S STAYING,”  he pressed on, staring deep into the boy’s eyes as he tried to make him understand.  “miles is staying.  he’s staying for us.  so what more is there to ask for?  isn’t this what you wanted?”  he asked,  letting out an exasperated sigh as his fingertips tapped the steering wheel of his older brother’s car.

the past few weeks had been a whirlwind of emotions, but this was a new semester.  it was his chance for a fresh start ----  with miles, with yael, baaz, and vijay, and with himself. he had to find a way to control his anger, first and foremost. but that had to be done by himself, with no help from anyone else. because if someone else got involved, it would only make it worse. he would be completely powerless and out of control. miles though he could help, but hunter feared that he might only make this tougher for him to deal with. 

he was grateful that miles had given him the chance to drive, but something was off, like a voice in his head was telling him it would end poorly. did miles actually trust him? he wanted to believe that he did, but he was still scared. scared that this was all about trying to prove himself — and by giving hunter access to his car, it almost felt like PITY.

but he had to shut that down as fast as he could. as he looked over to the boy in the passenger’s seat, he shook his head. “he’s staying, that’s enough for us.”  it has to be.  the his hands moved to his lap, and he shook his head. “let’s just get out of here. driving’s stupid. i don’t care."           [    @tornadc     ]

[hollingsjerk]

[blindwallflower]

[cptcourage-blog]

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

I don’t even have a butt.

[cptcourage-blog]

HUNTER → ZOE.   

                                             @soulhcart​ 

 ❝  your stupid little gig is up, zoe.   whatever you      want, i’ll do it.  just leave frankie out of your stupid      games,  and don’t tell her i’m doing this,  because      YOU won’t like the consequences.  ❞ 

[cptcourage-blog]

hey sexy

[astraliss]

[perkypink-blog]

❝ but – what am I doing? I know that, I just thought that maybe sometimes I didn’t bug you, it’s not like I i n t e n t i o n a l l y want to bug you all the time, I swear. Since sometimes people mistake being HONEST with being HARSH. They are totes different. Obviously I like to hear the truth, like, who likeslies – but sometimes sugar-coating the truth is better. I mean, that’s how I see it. There’s n o t h i n g  wrong with caring about your appearance, you need to look good to feel good. No one wants to be FAT and UGLY. Really? Then what do you learn? Yes ME, and I’m not talking about a Barbie game, I’m talking about one of those bloody shooting games. Maybe I might not be the best at first, but you can like teach me and stuff. It’ll be totes fun ! Okay okay, you don’t look at butts – being totally honest, that’s actually nice since a lot of guys like look up super nasty things online. EW. Pink IS a normal color ! That rubber room girl already has blue and green but pink is s o much better. Just don’t tell her I said that, I don’t want her to, like, stab me or something. Yeah but I uh, I don’t know – I never meant for it to happen. I already said sorry to Frankie and she forgave me so we are all good. ❞

[cptcourage-blog]

❝ BUGGING me, that’s what. okay, well that’s what you’re doing. i’m not trying to be harsh either, but you won’t accept what i’m saying, so what’s the point? i have no reason to sugar-coat anything, especially with someone like you. maybe you need the cold truth every now and then -- it might make you a stronger person. or at least bring you down to earth. actually, there’s a lot wrong with YOU worrying about what i look like. i dress for comfort, and i don’t work out because i’m more COMFORTABLE not. not because i want some dumb girl looking at me and thinking whatever it is she thinks. no one actually wants to waste their time working out, it’s stupid. and i HATE it. have you seen me? i’m definitely not fat, i think i can handle not going to the gym. video games teach you about teamwork, more than some dumb, waste-of-time and energy sport would. and depending on the game, you can learn a lot about different cultures, and -- i don’t know why i’m explaining myself to YOU. it’s not like you would ever understand. so what, you’re on your high horse trashing these games, and now you’re telling me YOU want to play them? i can’t teach you anything. i’m not good at that because it always gets too frustrating. frankie’s the worst when i try to tell her how to play -- she just keeps whining and NEVER does anything right. so would you actually listen to me? because i already doubt it. the only thing i do online is game. no, pink is an obnoxious color. who, grace? i’unno, her hair looks kinda cool. you should try it. might be less annoying. okay, sure. even i know that girls never get over things that easily. ❞ 

[sayidjarrahs]