Please Clap

Not the Crab you need or deserve- the Crab you're stuck with.

[fridaphile]

The most Burning Man thing to happen at Burning Man.

[crabby-cake8]

I think a non- burning man running into the fire to become the literal Burning Man is the most Burning Man thing to ever happen at Burning Man.

[dakrolak]

(via A Jade Fox on Twitter: “No. No Omg.)

[alexbelvocal]

💀💀💀💀

[quixon]

#gotemcoach

[mojostroke]

When keeping it wrong gets real

[crabby-cake8]

In honor of Greta Van Sustwhatever's show getting cancelled.

[crabby-cake8]

[crabby-cake8]

This is, allegedly, a picture from the new J-Rod Collab, and I have to say, I really did not picture Jenny from the Block living in a wood-paneled set from Scooby Doo where you pull down on the arm of the bowling trophy and the bookshelf spins around, allowing access to the hovel where she keeps Marc Anthony.

[memes-dogs-and-maf]

I am going to guess it is his house, because there is no way JLo paid money for those tacky mantelpiece figurines.

[crabby-cake8]

Ok, but does A Rod really have a coffee-table-sized coffee table book about jewelry?

[crabby-cake8]

This is, allegedly, a picture from the new J-Rod Collab, and I have to say, I really did not picture Jenny from the Block living in a wood-paneled set from Scooby Doo where you pull down on the arm of the bowling trophy and the bookshelf spins around, allowing access to the hovel where she keeps Marc Anthony.

[crabby-cake8]

God, gee, if only there was a place where you could work out that was open during school hours! And provided personal training! In the Southbay area, where there is a crossfit gym in the parking lot of the 24 Hour Fitness! IF ONLY there was a place that could accommodate the odd hours of 9am to 12pm. Alas, I guess you'll never be able to fit in a good workout, what with childcare only being offered from 7am-9pm at most local gyms. So restrictive!

[crabby-cake8]

Duck, duck...

Me, encountering a gaggle of geese: "Don't you come near me and my family, geese, I know what you're about. You're big enough to carry away at least one of my children, but I will fucking fight you with my BARE HANDS. I WILL SWING YOU AROUND LIKE A LASSO AND CRUSH YOU WITH THE SHEER STRENGTH OF MY RAGE." *goose starts biting my pant leg* "EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD FOR THEMSELVES!! *tosses a toddler in their midst.* TAKE MY CHILDREN, THEY'RE EASIER TO CATCH! WATCH OUT FOR GRACIE, SHE HITS. JUST SPARE MY LIFE, OH WISE GOOSE OVERLORDS!"

[crabby-cake8]

My mom's been telling me they're going to a renaissance faire for my brother's birthday this weekend and she's been all worried about how she's going to stay warm. I honestly couldn't believe they'd have a renaissance faire in ny in the winter, especially when they have a very famous one in ny in the spring. Nothing about being outdoors in March in ny seems like a good idea. They're going to Medieval Times. She didn't know that was a place, she thought my brother meant they were "journeying back to the medieval times," or something. I honestly spit up a little I laughed so hard.

[crabby-cake8]

I'm sure there's nothing racist and revisionist in this play with the racist name.

[crabby-cake8]

Things That Are Making Me Irrationally Angry That Are Not Politics:

1) the Manfred Walk rule, fuck you Manfred. 2) the amount of articles about "what color do you think this article of clothing is?" Ala that gold and white dress from two years ago. Fuck you, weirdly lit accessories. 3) Moms referring to their "tribe" or "village," usually associated with trying to sell me some accountability cleanse program. Fuck you, cleanses. 4) Poorly painted furniture marketed as "shabby chic." Fuck you, chalk paint. 5) Anti-Vaxxers. Fuck you, anti-vaxxers. What's making you angry this Friday? LET IT OUT, LET IT GO.

[crabby-cake8]

BUT TOXINS

The Venn Diagram of moms who eat clean, detox and don't vaccinate their kids, and moms who throw Botox parties, is a circle.

[crabby-cake8]

This young man wheeled his pet pine tree into the park and over the bridge, whereupon he retrieved a shovel from under the bridge, dug a small hole and planted his pet tree, cedar container and all, next to the bridge. He then set off in the opposite direction, but returned thusly without his green hooded sweatshirt. He skateboarded across the bridge, into the sunset, and out of sight.

[asciiheart]

The nuclear family is probably the greatest enabler of child abuse, ever.

Putting two people in complete control of another person (who is particularly vulnerable and has few legal rights) and then having no oversight for the whole arrangement is the absolute worst idea.

Families are garbage.

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

Hahaha wtf

[yourownpetard]

I wouldn’t even know where to start with this. omg.

[amal-wa-ahlam]

OP, what would you propose as an alternative to families?

[asciiheart]

communal child raising

less isolated familial structures in general

children being made aware of how they should and shouldn’t be treated

Some form of child protection services that don’t just believe the parents and assume a child is lying when they report abuse

more legal and counselling services made available to children

[tracyalexander-deactivated20201]

I don’t get people that are like “lol, what? that’s so weird, lets laugh at the very notion that traditional families are abusive”.

[itsfridaybutimstillaro-deactiva]

communal child raising is the traditional family. 70-100 years ago 4 generations lived together in the same house, having 4 grandparents, 6 aunts and 15 cousins around every day was normal.

[queeranarchism]

Things that should be mentioned:

- These communities are not necessarily connected by an biological ties. In a lot of these multigenerational ‘families’, including people in the family who are not relatives or married into the family is totally normal. This has always created a lot more space to support people without families, support people who do now want to partner up and to create communities in which couples who can not have children (like some queer couples but not all & other couples too) can be a part of child raising. 

- Having a lot more young people around often means young people learn from each other. In many cultures young people form a non-hierarchial group that learns together and can do a great deal without adult supervision. 

The nuclear family doesn’t just facilitate abuse, it facilitates hierarchy. It’s a training school for obedience to authority. 

Now, which system would push such a training school strongly so it could get docile obedient citizens? Which system whould push the nuclear family. 

I’m not saying it’s capitalism but it’s capitalism. 

And then there’s the fact that the 2 parent, nuclear family can be most easily pushed into the pattern where one adult works an extremely exhausting job many hours a day that leaves that adult hardly capable of doing anything else, while the other adult takes on all the other things that adult would otherwise have done: care for children, clean the living space, prepare food, prepare clean clothing, etc. for free. What we know as traditional gender roles. 

This way capitalism gets one intensely loyal worker who feels ‘responsible’ for ‘supporting a family’ while all the work to keep that worker going is done for free by an unpaid worker in the home. 

And, you know, communities need a lot less stuff. A community of 50 can do just fine with one or two hammers. 25 nuclear families need 25 hammers. The nuclear family demands a huge amount of commodity purchasing. 

[atheistj]

Lady Gaga singing the lyrics “No matter gay straight or bi, lesbian, transgender” in a stadium full of conservative Texans is my aesthetic.

[mmarkle]

houston is the 4th largest city in america, the most diverse city in america, and voted for hillary clinton in this election and obama in the last two. but go off, i guess.

[tami-taylors-hair]

no, no, see- once you get south of d.c. it’s like part deliverance, part mad max.

north of d.c. is a utopia with no racism, homophobia, or sexism. you can tell because donald trump is from there. 

[crabby-cake8]

This useless table didn't even get the lyrics right as she bashed a place she clearly knows nothing about.

[corinnestark]

OK Californians, we’ve got work to do starting at 4 am our time!!!

I’ve tried calling her offices tonight and there is no place to leave a message. Call her DC office first thing tomorrow morning! Set your alarm clock and wake up at 4 am and call her. Keep on calling her DC office until you get through. 

And then call all of her California offices starting at 9 am tomorrow. 

This is what I’m going to say: 

I understand that you might be voting for Sessions, and as your constituent, I demand that you vote no. As my Senator, I expect you to put the rights of your constituents over any consideration of your colleague Jeff Sessions. Trump has just indicated that he wants to suppress people’s votes with his bogus claims of voter fraud denying him the popular vote. He is looking at California in particular. Jeff Sessions has actively worked against voting rights, threatening to jail people. You cannot in good conscience vote for this man who will actively erode our voting rights.

If you do not hold Californians interests ahead of your Washington colleagues and stand against Trump, we will find a Senator who will.

She’s up again in 2018, folks. 

[crabby-cake8]

I haven’t been able to reach anyone in any of her offices in weeks. I know she had a pacemaker put in a couple weeks ago, but there should be staff in her offices, right? I don’t have access to a fax right now, but her LA fax number is 310-914-7318. Send her a fax like it’s 1997!

[crabby-cake8]

Nelson HA-ha

D's got a gig in DTLA tomorrow. "Something about the inauguration or rally or something," they told him when they hired him. Two days ago, they called him to let him know the gig had "changed significantly" due to "an unexpected change in attendance." They sent D a revised plot and it was 1/20th the size it was originally supposed to be. It's 4 lights on sticks and a small stage. No console, no dimmers, no moving lights, nothing. He's basically there to turn the lights on and off when it's over. "So what is this gig anyway?" I asked him just now. "Ha. Some pro-lifer counter rally. It's so small right now I'll be shocked it even goes off tomorrow."

[crabby-cake8]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT, @staff!