maybe my favorite thing about jaime today is that despite his refusal to address the reason why he does things within his own head, he does NOT refuse himself the pleasure of doing or saying or thinking stuff anyways
“I have no idea why I’m thinking about brienne in relation to babies but imma pray for her big stubborn self anyways”
“Imma save you from this bear no wench I won’t be taking criticism at this time”
“Imma give you a dress and say it goes with your eyes and here’s a magic sword and a paper that says you can do whatever you want and some money and a pretty horse no I will NOT accept thanks get out”
“come on wench you should be kissing me rn like rn too don’t you see you should be kissing me it’s like obvious you should be doing just that”
“i’m not interested in you like that wench i’m just making us both share a bath naked and this stiffy is just happenstance”
“did you just talk shit about brienne *fucking slaps the shit talker* *tells him off* *sends him far away* trash ought to be outside i derive no pleasure from this it’s just fact that brienne deserves respect and that is final”
“sitting next to baths is an experience because every time im in proximity to a bath I remember brienne and her thicc legs and wait did you just think I was thinking about you? as if”
“my lady im surprised I didn’t expect to see you so soon that’s the only reason why I just jumped from my chair obvs i knew you’d find the girl i’m your #1 fan but dear gods who the fuck did that to you of course im coming with no biggie”
Jaime “I don’t want to acknowledge I know why I bother” Lannister
