USS Crab

I draw Cardassians, Kazons, and other various and sundry Trek critters and try to be funny too sometimes

[crabm34t]

hmmmm

[crabm34t]

I’m the kazon, gotta love me!

Big wooly hair, I’m very fugly!

‘specially when I steal replicator tech

(*BOOM* ow my blood)

I’m the kazon, gotta love me

First I bite you then you stun me

Convulsing on the floor, I like it!

Again!

Janeway says it’s too much water

Maje is all perplexed

A-B-3-Square-Purple

Gee, you don’t care what I’m gonna do next!

Wanna see me make a warp core?

Ice in comets, now what’s that for?

There’s a bug in my hair.

Aieee!

I’m the kazon, gotta love me!

Everybody!

I’m the kazon, gotta love me!

Curly horns, I’m very fugly!

Don’t you think that every episode should have one of me? (or three!)

[rapping]

I said take over the ship, Janeway’s lid is flipped

Try to look for water all the other sects are mad

I’ll do puzzles to sleep with strippers any chance I have

But I’m a kazon, and you gotta

[normal]

I’m the kazon, gotta love me!

Don’t you wish you’d seen more of me?

Nistrim, Ogla, Pommar, Relora

Making all the trabe slavers cower in horror

I’m the kazon and you gotta love

I’m the kazon and you gotta love

I’m the kazon and you gotta love me

[crabm34t]

Me after I put a non-goofy actual algorithm tag on my art post because you apparently have to advertise yourself when you’re an artist like a little slut

[crabm34t]

Salec! Look at this feathered lad. Isn’t he beautiful?

[crabm34t]

Salec as a theropod or something

[chazchaschad]

Animation practice because I should probably know how to do this

[crabm34t]

whoa

[bearloonz]

how it feels to really like your ocs

[the-bellhopper]

Dukats

[crabm34t]

No dummy don’t lick your blood that’s not proper lab safety protocol 😡

Writing a fic about this that I’ll probably forget and let it rot in my drafts but oh wellllll

@problematic-but-nice I know you looooooove seeing this heh heh

[crabm34t]

Will be posting the full version in my AO3 sketchbook later 🦎😳

Is he coming home after a fight for some comfort and first aid, chasing you through your quarters like a maniac, or did he just bury a body? It’s up to you to decide…

[cameleonvermillon]

sometimes your favorite fanfic isn't a fanfic at all but the insane DM's between you and your equally freaky mutual

[problematic-but-nice]

@crabm34t

[crabm34t]

Just airing our suspiciously crusty laundry for the world to see… nah jk we’re amongst freaky friends here

[spacelizardtrashboys]

So here's the thing. It's not like I'm specifically attracted to Dukat the colonizer war criminal. However, I am attracted to Marc in the lizard suit pretending to have a massive grandiosity complex. And like... I think it's morally okay to be attracted to a man in a lizard suit playing pretend. 🤷

[problematic-but-nice]

There is nothing morally wrong for being attracted to any fictional character at all. The heart wants what it wants and fiction can be a beautifully healthy way to indulge in desires that are not plausible or safe in reality (vampirism as an unrelated example). I think where the issue arises is a growing trend of the internet of people who cannot read past the surface layers of fiction or separate fiction from reality and because they sound “virtuous” they seem to dictate what is “problematic”.

The important part is to be able to conceptualise the character and events outside of that feeling towards someone. To be relevant to your example: As a fictional character from an audience perspective I would let Dukat do unspeakable things to my person and I read about such things openly and freely. However, if anyone actually acted like that in my presence I would kick them into next Tuesday with a steel toe boot, and narratively I do not root for him because he is a nasty, egocentric, racist piece of shit.

The idea of fictional crushes having moral bearing is something that is very much online and in my experience, the people who police it are those who like to imagine themselves as activists but who never really do anything to help their communities. To take this perhaps rather too seriously, arguing over ships and “good” and “bad” books is a little way in which conservatism and corruption is slowly becoming normalised to us and is a distraction from actual politics…but that’s too much for what is already a convoluted and unrequested rant.

Keep being feral op we love you, and the internal conflict over this admittedly sexy dickwad is entirely justified for soooo many reasons but what is important is that you obviously feel a lot about the world around you which is wonderful. Always focus on supporting your community both online and irl and let yourself have some escapism without guilt because we need it now more than ever.

I’m gonna hop off my soapbox now lol

Love ya op, keep being awesome 🤩

[crabm34t]

life is short tell your fictional evil lizard man he can do unspeakable things to your person today

[problematic-but-nice]

[crabm34t]

what’s with this man and his long grandpa pants what if we got grandpa dukat with his pants up to his spoon

[crabm34t]

*brain cells rattle* what if there was data and geordi in a shuttle and they were hotboxing it and making the most devious stoner food with the replicators and giggling

[crabm34t]

🦀🦀🦀

🦀🦀🦀

[crabm34t]

I’m bi-er than you, peasant

*sits in chair upside down, my cuffed jeans flare out like umbrellas, I blast you away with finger guns*

[crabm34t]

This is my OC, Lodim Madoll. He’s a farmer and sells his produce from a fruit stand. Born on Cardassia V.

Some of these vegetables are from the Cardassian dictionary, but others are ones I made up.

Long-stalked plant with flowers: Lennet. Grows in a paddy. Used like a green onion. The flowers are often used as garnish.

Red root: Selm. Similar to a carrot, but quite spicy. Best cooked in something acidic.

Purple tuber: Bet’to. High in protein with a bland flavor. Was traditionally juiced to make scale stains, and adding acid to the purple juice turns it blue.

Translucent greenish fruit: Duki. Firm, delicate, and very sour. Biting into it gives a satisfying pop, but the mouth will soon be filled with puckering sour juice, so it’s best juiced and used for cooking.

Green leaves: Povva. Waxy and bitter when raw, limp and almost sweet when stewed. The woody stalk and fibrous roots are unpalatable and secrete a slightly toxic milky sap during the spring, so only the leaves are eaten. Cardassians steam them, stew them, and fry them in a variety of dishes.

The pudding is a bit of a difficult dish to make, as it utilizes rendered povva milk to impart a soft, springy texture that holds its shape. Improper rendering can result in either a flat, watery pudding or a dish that gives its consumers hives and raised scales. It’s flavored with teko nuts, which are ground into a fine powder and dissolved in oil to produce a sweet, nutty liquid.