“It’s a girl,” Steve says, handing a woman her screaming, tiny infant. She looks up at him teary-eyed. “Congratulations,” he says.
“She’s beautiful,” she says. “Thank you.”
“All in a day’s work. I’m proud to be a part of the miracle of life.”
Twenty minutes later, he’s in the doctor’s lounge eating a packet of Twizzlers, drinking coffee out of a styrofoam cup, and wishing he were dead.
“You use the line?” Bucky asks.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Normally, he wouldn’t give Bucky Barnes the time of day, but it’s three in the morning and they’re the only two doctors actually in the lounge right now. It’s either talk to Bucky or talk to his own shoes and he’s not quite at that point yet.
“I’m proud to be a part of the miracle of life,” Bucky says in a mocking tone.
Steve rolls his eyes. “The parents love it.”
“This isn’t Chili’s. It’s not like you get tipped for your bedside manner,” Bucky says.
“I got handed $200 once.” And then he promptly returned it because it was probably unethical, but he doesn’t mention that.
Bucky raises one of eyebrows and takes a sip of his own styrofoam cup of tepid coffee. “You got one tip. Good for you.”
“Anyhow, I am a part of the miracle of life,” Steve mutters, frowning.
“So’m I, just the shitty part of it.”
Steve rolls his eyes. “It’s not like you’re doing colonoscopies.”
“Oh Lord,” Bucky says, rolling his eyes. Steve thinks of his mother, who used to say that if you rolled your eyes they’d get stuck that way. Bucky is living proof that the old adage isn’t true; if it were, he’d be walking around all day looking at the inside of his head. “Yeah, I just spend my days performing life-saving heart surgeries—”
“And you’re so much better than the rest of us, we know,” Steve says. He eats his final Twizzler and wishes for death. “Anything else you’d like to remind us of?”
“I’m really good in bed,” Bucky says with a shrug. “Or the supply closet. How much longer do you have until your break’s over?”
Steve blinks. “Thirty-five minutes,” he says.
“That’s enough time.” He finishes off the last of his coffee, then chucks his styrofoam cup across the room to the trash can. Infuriatingly, the cup sails straight inside. “Let’s go.”
“You’re being pretty presumptuous,” Steve says.
Bucky sighs. “It’s three am, I’m exhausted, and I need a release. I think you do, too.”
On one hand, Steve should call HR. But on the other…
He finds himself pants down in the employee bathroom like a goddamn episode of Grey’s Anatomy.
Bucky looks up at him with a bit of cum dribbling down his chin. “Oh, the miracle of life,” he says, grinning.
Steve groans, knowing that he’ll never be able to say that to one of his patients again without thinking of Bucky Fucking Barnes down on his knees.
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