Me Crag the Caveman

Me Crag. Me am lower Paleolithic hunter-gatherer. With tumblr.

[briscal]

just thawed out another #earlyhominid showing my guy the best meals of the modern day

[briscal]

he really liked this one

[64mpg]

it has always been a dream of mine to relax

[64mpg]

it’s just not possible

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

stop using chatgpt!!!! take a bronze pin and carve your questions onto an ox scapula, then toss it into the fire!!!! use the cracks to divine the gods answer!!!!

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

citations still have to be APA 7th edition though. if you plagiarise, the gods will flood the yellow river again. and you'll lose your academic standing.

[dkpsyhog]

(The Gods, personal communication, July 18, 2024)

[dunkstein]

If a caveman heard drum and bass they would understand it instantly and love it and would be able to start DJing within days

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

youre going to play wow classic? you know fable 2 exists right?

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

youre playing fable 2? you do realize mount and blade exists right

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

you’re going to plY mount and blade? why not come join me in my viva piñata heaven

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

you’re going to Vica piaa h? Why not come do rocks with me

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

This is so fun

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

I’m just so happy you’re here

[dafunk]

at work we have a bartender named tyler and he collects wine corks so we put them in a little box for him and another bartender makes fun of him cause his t’s look like l’s so she wrote “lyler’s corks” and i saw it this morning and i grabbed a marker and changed the ‘c’ to a ‘g’

and after he left a bartender came up to me and said “aww lyler left his gorks” and i lost it

[lildinospice]

[gork-cavegirl]

holy shit

[lesny-duch]

perhaps having sex in the middle of a forest would fix me

[crag-the-caveman]

Is there any other way to do it?

[crag-the-caveman]

Hi Crag. What is the most important lesson for your people to pass down to the next generation?

Do unto others before they do it unto you

Or

Talk loudly and carry a big stick

[gardenvarietydegenerate]

Do unto others and then RUN RUN RUN!

[crag-the-caveman]

Hi Crag. What is the most important lesson for your people to pass down to the next generation?

Do unto others before they do it unto you

Or

Talk loudly and carry a big stick

[crag-the-caveman]

Hi Crag, what burial goods would you like when you pass?

All of Crag's stuff and all of your stuff too. Some precious metals and some tools and warm clothes. Food, too, Crag not know if there going to be food in afterlife, Crag not want to be hungry. Oh, and uh, if Crag have girlfriend by time Crag dies, Crag would like girlfriend be buried alive with Crag so can keep company. If Crag have boyfriend when Crag die then flay boyfriend alive and sacrifice him to sun god.

[crag-the-caveman]

It too damn hot. Who want to join Crag in killing the sun

[energylessartist]

Sun might be too far. Maybe sacrifice the greediest nearby person to the local volcano?

[crag-the-caveman]

That would never work

[blaglartha-cavewoman]

Could at least try?

[illuminating-dawn]

Please do not try, I wish to remain alive.

[blaglartha-cavewoman]

Lot of people claiming to be greediest… how do we determine?

[crag-the-caveman]

Could give Crag big pile of food and precious metals and see how Crag react

[crazy-brazilian]

[crag-the-caveman]

crag, you've said you dont really care for Yuri before. But what about yaoi?

What about it?

[crag-the-caveman]

It too damn hot. Who want to join Crag in killing the sun

[energylessartist]

Sun might be too far. Maybe sacrifice the greediest nearby person to the local volcano?

[crag-the-caveman]

That would never work

[crag-the-caveman]

It too damn hot. Who want to join Crag in killing the sun

[stjohnstarling]

Who wants to get fucked up on the green neolithic slime that makes you hallucinate to death?

[innerchildabortionclinic]

good morning everyone it's time to be tortured to insanity and then of course tortured for being insane