Professional lily pad hater

Call me Lycos (pronounced LEE-kohs), Quasar, or Aurora | Triple-A Battery (Aroace(ish) + Agender) | Any pronouns but they/them (Él/Ól/Ella en español) | Furry | Voidpunk | 22 | American | Comp sci BA | Mostly reblogs, with the occasional original post

[gayarograce]

We should be allowed to refuse service to customers because they pissed us off last time

[gayarograce]

Doing a fun challenge today where I forgot to bring water from home so I'm just going through my entire 8.5 hour work day without drinking anything

[skrubadub]

they should make deltarune merch that is a flowery body pillow except the pillow comes pre-installed with a voice box and it comes with separate instructions written by ralsei on how to surgically remove the voice box from your flowery body pillow

[redstonedust]

when you think about it a rollercoaster is probably safer than a car. i mean you crash any vehicle going over 60mph and youre likely to be gravely injured so id rather be in one thats stuck in a tested loop and not driven by my road-rage prone mother. this is why im about to make a bold new proposition for public transport,

[redstonedust]

and you may say "if you want transport that goes on a predetermined on rails route you want trains" and thats true i do want trains. but i want trains that do sick loops and make me vomit. its an improvement for nobody and it would be awesome.

[left-lateral-incisor]

[damazcuz]

Whenever I have to make a difficult phone call, I always make sure to freak myself out really bad about it first and imagine every worse case scenario that could happen where they track me down and rip my heart out of my chest for daring to call with bad news. I do this for at least 30 minutes and for up to three hours before I make the call and then, yup, you guessed it, the phone call goes just fine and they're not even mad at me. And then i make sure not to learn from that so that I can still get really scared next time too.

[what-even-is-thiss]

No I’m not attracted to you. Quit your evil putting your finger under my chin to make me look up at you. I know I’m your nemesis and all but we really need to set some boundaries when you’ve got me tied up like this.

[what-even-is-thiss]

No look I get it. You’ve got your evil plan, you’ve gotta get me out of the way but you also want to see me suffer as I watch the world burn, I know. But like, I’m not into this. Sexually or otherwise. Wait, you thought I was doing this because I liked you? I’m trying to stop you from using a death laser. No I don’t think death lasers are sexy what on earth are you talking about

[what-even-is-thiss]

Wait. That’s why you dress like that? I thought that armor was impractical. No I don’t find our relationship to be homoerotic I find it to be tedious. Look, man. We all keep trying to get you into therapy. No I’m not kink shaming you I’m saying you’ve completely misinterpreted this relationship. I actually do think you should answer for your war crimes. Yes, really. No you’re the one not listening to me in this situation. Yes that is the alarm the others will have cut all your wires and called in the fbi by now.

[what-even-is-thiss]

What do you mean you thought we had something special? I have other enemies. You’re not the only one. No I’m not doing kinky things with them either I blow up their nefarious devices. Speaking of which, you might want to move like… ten feet to your right.

[what-even-is-thiss]

No, enemies to enemies. And then still enemies.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Cannot stress enough how lovers will never be part of this equation even a little bit

[yellowhollyhock]

The henchmen in the tags who have been assuring the villain since the beginning that “of course he likes you back, why else would he keep coming to destroy your death lasers”

[what-even-is-thiss]

The henchmen have been reading too many romance novels.

[xxshadowcasterxx]

Awfully defensive are we? I think the henchmen are onto something.

[what-even-is-thiss]

You know I didn’t intend for this character I made up to be aromantic but this whole post has turned into being arospec at a family reunion simulator

[diamondseaside]

thinking bout 2019 and how i took her for granted

[irate-iguana]

I love it when a classicist has clearly gotten so lost in the BCE sauce that their perception of time has become deeply warped. Case in point: the article I’m currently reading just described the Byzantine era as “a period relatively modern.”

[mockiatoh]

Stop that’s too funny

[joldfish]

"I'm not a furry"

[quannaix]

I want everyone to see this section of a mostly unredacted judgement I’ve been reading. Mostly it’s fine, but occasionally they have to X out a word or a profit margin or something. But then I encountered paragraph of the year.

[quannaix]

[aximili]

tbh the fact that cats purr was an unnecessary bonus we don't always acknowledge. they're already cute and baby and little and soft and make silly noises and do funny shit. but they also like to cuddle and make a soothing pleasant noise to indicate they are happy when they cuddle you? huge. huge for the human race.

[dubiousdisco]

[lucy-vanpelts]

when someone calls me their friend my heart skips a beat it’s like i won at being myself

[starvariety]

i love this shot they’re all so weirded out

[toasthaste]

#tfw you meet a guy who wont stop talking like a pbs kids presenter and it turns out hes in charge of the nukes round here (@startingatmidnight)

[log6]

big problem on here is a lot of people seem to think just being transgender makes you a sensible political theorist

[juneberryjammin]

being transgender doesn't even make you a sensible gender theorist

[uwontrememberme]

everything will probably be fine but i have to get really anxious just in case

[bagofbirds]

when you have a cat you can experience sensations! some of them are soft. some of them are painful. many of them are wet

[worsecats]